Stepbrother Backstage (The Hawthorne Brothers Book 3) (46 page)

My dreamy daze is punctured as a flash of color catches my
eye on the ground at my feet. Lying beside the rock that Luke and I just put to
good use is a bright yellow condom wrapper. My stomach flips over as the sight
registers in my sex-addled mind, just as Anna is swinging her camera my way. I
jerk my body across the rock, planting my foot firmly over the wrapper and
grinding it into the dirt. Aiming my best Hollywood smile at Anna’s lens, I
spread my arms wide in a ridiculous pose.

“I’m ready for my close-up,” I grin, mugging every which way
and effectively ruining her shot.

“You’re such a ham,” she mutters, lowering her camera and
striding away from me. “What are you, already withdrawing from the spotlight
after one week away from acting school?”

“You know me,” I laugh, “Always the attention hog. Middle
child syndrome. You understand.”

I quickly bury the condom wrapper while her back is turned,
spooked by the close call. If Luke and I are going to make it through the next
couple of weeks without being found out, we’re gonna need to step up our
discretion game. Especially around Anna. My younger sister is one of the most
observant people I know. Maddie and my mom will each be too wrapped up in their
own shit to notice if I steal off with John’s gorgeous son time and again, but
Anna could very well catch on if we’re not more careful.

Part of me wonders if I should just confide in her right off
the bat. I already let it slip that I had a thing for one of my TA’s at
Sheridan. What if she puts the pieces together? It’ll be much worse if she
finds me out, rather than being told up front. But how can I know that she
won’t be totally weirded out by my relationship with Luke? What if she tells me
that it’s sick, or wrong, or just depressing to be screwing him while our
parents are…whatever our parents are? I couldn’t stand that. I trust Anna’s
opinion more than anyone’s. So if she disapproved of me and Luke…I don’t know
how I’d get over that. I’m not willing to risk it. Not just yet.

“Are you coming?” Anna says over her shoulder, moving back
off into the woods, “I want to get some more shots before I lose this light.”

“Right. Sure. I’m coming,” I call after her, standing to
follow. Better to keep my secret to myself for the time being, I decide. After
all, what’s a little lie of omission between sisters?

Nice try,
I think to myself, following in Anna’s
path. Great. Even my own subconscious can’t be convinced that I’m doing the
right thing, here. But how could something this wrong feel so, so right?

Chapter Eight

My newly whetted appetite for Luke trumps any reservations I
might be having about keeping our relationship from Annabel and Madeleine. I’ll
tell them eventually, if and when the time is right…Meaning, once Mom has
ditched John for her next conquest. He can’t have much time left in my mother’s
good graces. She’s been here at the lake house for weeks, after all. The clock
must be running down on their little love affair.

Really though, I don’t have much room in my mind for Mom,
John, or any of the others. Luke has captivated me, mind and body…and heart
too, if I’m being honest. We haven’t said a word to each other about any sort
of future beyond this summer, or made any attempt to label what it is we are to
each other. None of that really seems to matter, with him. What’s important is
the deep understanding that’s formed between us. The unheard-of degree of
respect and admiration that we have for each other. That’s more important than
labels and titles any day.

As the days go by at the lake house, Luke and I get better
and better at covering our tracks. We take separate routes to every rendezvous
we plan, making sure that there’s no way anyone else could stumble upon us. When
we spend time with our siblings, we put on a great show of being neutral
acquaintances. It’s not that hard to sneak off whenever we wish—all eight of
the Porters and Hawthornes have fallen into their own routines, here at the
lake house. Neither of our families are particularly warm and cuddly—a fact
that only makes it easier to peel off from the pack.

But while I’m intent on obscuring my relationship with Luke
from my mom and sisters, there’s one person I simply can’t hold back from. My
best friend, Danny.

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” he all but screams when I
give him the skinny over the phone, late one night. “Professor Sexy Pants is,
like, your step-brother?!?”

“No, no,
no
,” I groan, flopping onto my twin bed,
“Our parents aren’t married. I mean, they
almost
were. Once. But it’s
totally not the same thing.”

“Uh-huh,” Danny drawls, “Sure. Whatever you have to tell
yourself.”

“You don’t think I’m some kind of freak, do you?” I ask him
nervously.

“Only in the best sense of the word, my darling,” he assures
me, “And remember, that’s high praise in my book.”

“Gee. Thanks,” I mumble.

“I mean it!” he gushes, “I saw
Cruel Intentions
. I
know a thing or two about stepbrother bangin’.”

“Well, since you’re the expert, maybe you can tell me how
the hell I’m going to break it to my family, down the line?” I suggest.

“Is there going to
be
a down the line?” Danny asks,
surprised, “I thought this was a summer fling sort of situation.”

“I mean…it’s hard to say,” I waffle. “You never know what
the future—”

“Oh. My. God,” Danny cuts me off, “Sophia Elizabeth Porter,
are you falling for this guy?”

“Uh-oh, you’re using my middle name. Does that mean I’m in
trouble?” I laugh.

“Don’t change the subject. Do you really like him or what?”
Danny demands.

“I don’t…I mean…Maybe?” I sigh, “He’s not like anyone I’ve
ever been with.”

“In that he has a personality and is not a major
douche-rocket?” Danny replies.

“Nice.”

“The truth hurts, hun,” he goes on, “Look, I’m thrilled that
you’ve found someone who gets that screwed up little brain of yours. It doesn’t
hurt one bit that he’s gorgeous, and brilliant, and a bit kinky from the sound
of it. Just do me a favor while you’re out there screwing brother dearest in
the woods, would you?”

“Of course. Anything for you,” I say dryly.

“Don’t go falling so deeply for him that you can’t pull
yourself out of it in a pinch, OK?” Danny warns me.

“I thought you were all for him?” I ask, surprised.

“Oh, I am,” Danny assures me, “After his knight in shining
armor moment at The Bear Trap, I’m a huge Luke Hawthorne fan. But there’s a
soft, gooey heart underneath all that armor of
yours
, Sophie. Don’t let
down all your defenses at once. At least not until you know exactly what you’re
up against.”

I assure my best friend that I’ll be careful. But even as
I’m swearing up and down to keep myself from getting in too deep with Luke, I
realize that restraint is the last thing I want with him. My feelings for Luke
pull at me like a strong current. I’d have to fight like hell to beat against
that force. Wouldn’t it be easier to give into the tug? Let myself be carried
away?

Or would that just be a surefire way to drown?

***

Part of keeping my relationship with Luke on the DL is
making sure to spend time with the rest of the Porters and Hawthornes once in a
while. Toward the end of my first week at the lake house, I decide to make good
on some sister time and spend the afternoon with Maddie and Anna down on the
dock. We’re lounging around on the sun-warmed boards, bikini-clad and peaceful.
They have no idea that my relaxed state is thanks, in large part, to a vigorous
fucking from Luke in the bed of the family pickup truck early this morning. I
have to cross my bare legs as a resounding pang of longing shoots up through my
body at the mere memory of it. Hopefully, my gigantic black sunglasses obscure
the furious flush that rises in my cheeks.

Maddie’s quizzing Anna about taking a gap year before
college when I manage to wrangle my attention back to the conversation at hand.
My older sister sits with her feet in the water, a red bandana tying up her
short dirty blonde hair. Anna lays on her stomach, letting the sun kiss her
shoulders. I sit cross legged, slightly apart from them, absentmindedly
fingering my mermaid tail braid as they chat.

“I give you a lot of credit,” Maddie says, “I wouldn’t have
had the wherewithal to take a gap year before college at your age.”

“Well, you knew what you wanted to go to school for,” Anna
replies, “I’m still feeling it out.”

“I just couldn’t wait to get out of the house,” I cut in,
“Don’t get me wrong, I love my program at Sheridan. But more than anything,
getting away from Mom was the priority.”

“Yeah, well. Imagine being the only one in the house with
her after Dad died,” Anna says curtly, not even looking back at me as she
speaks.

I catch Maddie’s perplexed gaze and return it. Anna’s been
really short with both of us these past couple of days. I try not to psych
myself out about it, but it’s hard to hold my unease at bay.

“So, uh…have you given any thought to how you’ll spend the
year?” Maddie presses, trying to bypass the awkward silence.

“Mostly just building up my photography portfolio,” Anna
returns, “I want to get some more portraits and event photography.”

“I could hire you for the next ReImaged party!” Maddie gushes.
ReImaged is the Seattle-based PR agency that she works at. The company
specializes in “event marketing”. From what I gather, most of what they do is
throw fancy parties for rich people. I never would have imagined my big sister
ending up in a field like that. All her life, Maddie talked about becoming a
literature professor like our father, Archie. But after he died, I think
carrying on in his footsteps was too painful a prospect for her.

“Yeah, maybe,” Anna tells Maddie, “I was thinking of heading
in a less corporate direction, though. Finn’s letting me tag along to his
band’s show tonight to take some shots of them, actually.”

“Finn’s in a band?!” I exclaim. That doesn’t exactly jive with
my understanding of the youngest Hawthorne son. That guy is a complete mystery
to me.

“Yeah. He’s the lead vocalist,” Anna tells me.

“But I’ve barely heard a full sentence out of him,” Maddie
says.

“Yeah. I didn't realize he spoke in full sentences,” I joke.

“Maybe that’s because neither of you lets anyone else get a
word in. Ever think of that?” Anna snaps at me, her blue eyes flaring
dangerously.

“Whoa, Anna…” I breathe, taken aback by her ferocity,
“That’s a little harsh.”

“Yeah, well. The truth can be a bitch,” my younger sister
shoots back, standing to make her exit.

“Did we do something wrong?” Maddie asks nervously, “You
seem really pissed off at us.”

Anna turns her frank, unapologetic gaze first on Maddie,
then on me. “I just wish the two of you would think about someone besides
yourselves once in a while.”

“Anna, what are you talking about?” I ask her, fearing that
I already know the answer.

“Come on,” Anna says, sounding more disappointed than angry
now, “You can’t play dumb with me, you guys. I know you too well for that.”

And with that, she turns and marches away from us. I try and
tell myself that she could be upset about any number of things. Maybe she’s
annoyed about hearing the details of my and Maddie’s lives, far away from Mom?
Maybe she’s sick of being cooped up in this lake house with a bunch of people
she has almost nothing common with? Or maybe, I dare to consider, she’s somehow
figured out the truth. Maybe she knows about me and Luke after all. But no…if
that were it, why would she be mad at Maddie, too?

“Do you have any idea what she’s on about?” my older sister
asks me.

“Nope,” I lie, “No idea.”

“Huh,” Maddie muses, “You know Anna. Always the sensitive
one. We should probably just let her go off and do her own thing. Close quarters
do weird things to people…”

That must be it. Just a case of cabin fever. Still, it
wouldn’t hurt to check up on my little sister later tonight, once she’s cooled
off a bit. The last thing I want is to let this toxic tension between us keep
on mounting.

My thoughts are derailed as a flurry of motion catches my
eye on the lake house lawn. A bright red kayak is being carried down to the
dock by the two older Hawthorne boys. I barely even register Cash, holding up
the front end of the vessel. With my eyes hidden behind my sunglasses, I swing
my gaze instead to that shirtless, rippling body I’ve come to know so well
already. Luke holds up the back of the kayak, easily bearing the weight with
one thick arm. I ogle him unabashedly as he and his brother approach the dock,
still amazed that such an ideal man has fallen into my life.

“Jesus Christ,” Cash sneers at me and Maddie, “I should have
worn some shades down here—that pale ass skin of yours is gonna make me go
blind.”

“Ha, ha,” I say dismissively, “Just wait until you’re an
old, sunbaked, wrinkly dude at the age of thirty, and then we’ll see who’s
laughing.”

“He’s already a grumpy old asshole on the inside,” Luke
says, lowering the kayak from his shoulder, “I’m sure the outside will match
before long.”

I deliberately refrain from responding to Luke, as per our
ground rules. We’ve gotten pretty good at this whole feigning-indifference
thing, I have to say.

“You got the keys to the truck?” Cash asks Luke. I know for
a fact that he does. A very large butterfly ricochets around my stomach as I
once again recall what, exactly, happened in that truck mere hours ago.

“What do you need it for?” Luke asks, forking over the keys
to his brother.

“Need some more smokes,” Cash tells him, laughing at Luke’s
unamused expression, “Sack up, man. It’s not meth.”

I glance over at the brothers, gaging Luke’s reaction. Most
of the time, he hides his resentment of his older brother well enough. But when
Cash goes and shoves his don’t-give-a-fuck bad boy act in Luke’s face, it’s hard
for him to disengage.

“Oh, right. I forgot that lung cancer is real fucking
manly,” Luke says flatly, “Forget sacking up—when are you gonna try
growing
up, Cash?”

“What would I do that for?” Cash replies, clearly trying to
bait Luke into a conflict, “You’re already playing man of the house around
here, isn’t that right little brother?”

“I’m not
playing
at anything, you prick,” Luke
snarls, “All I’m doing is picking up your slack.”

Uneasiness spikes in my blood as I watch Luke’s square jaw
pulse with anger. Cash has no respect for Luke, no idea of the sacrifices his
younger brother had to make after he bailed on the family. All Cash sees in
Luke is the son John wishes his oldest had been. And it drives him crazy.

“What a good little boy,” Cash sneers, giving Luke a hard
punch on the shoulder.

“Don’t touch me, asshole,” Luke growls at his brother,
balling his hands into fists.

“Come on, lil’ guy,” Cash goes on, shoving Luke across the
dock, “You still afraid to take on your big, bad brother?”

I glance over at Maddie as the brothers square off. Luke is
just as big and built as his brother—they’re evenly matching in strength. But I
can never tell how unhinged Cash actually is. I know he’s fond of boxing, and
MMA, and that uber-macho crap. Luke has too much integrity to resort to
violence unless it’s absolutely necessary, but Cash…?

“I’ve always preferred fair fights, Cash.
Clean
fights,” Luke tells his brother evenly, “Not exactly your specialty.”

Cash’s hazel eyes flash with indignant outrage at Luke’s
words. I have no idea what Luke is alluding to, but whatever it is, it seems to
have struck a nerve with his brother.

“Guys, come on. Chill out…” Maddie says, rising to her feet.

“Seriously, you’re being idiots,” I snap anxiously.

“You girls just aren’t used to the way guys settle things,”
Cash grins.

“The way
some
guys settle things,” Luke corrects him
sternly, “No matter the consequences. Right, Cash?”

Luke’s defiant words only stoke the ire brewing in Cash’s
eyes. What the hell must have happened to these men to make them so bitter
towards each other? What was it that really turned these brothers into nemeses?

“Cash…” Maddie pleads, “Could you please just drop this?
You’re freaking me out.”