Steel Rush (In the Shadows#5) (7 page)

I’ve never despised a person quite so much, nor have I
wanted
to do permanent harm using every skill in my arsenal more than I do with that conniving bastard. I didn’t like the authoritative way he spoke to “Celeste” last night at the party, but the fact he dared to put Cass in harm’s way with his blackmail bullshit, puts him at the top of my target list. Once Cass is safely back to her own life, I will find a way to make the despicable man pay for all his past and present sins.

“Why are you still here brooding? Get the hell out,” Gil barks, yanking me out of my musings.

I snort at his grizzled face under his ever-present cap and pretend not to notice how hard he leans on his chair’s arm as he takes a seat behind his desk. Even though I want to tell him to close the gym for a couple of days, I keep my thoughts to myself. He’ll just ignore me. He’s as stubborn as my dad was, which is probably why they were best friends growing up.

I only learned of his existence after my father’s funeral when Gil walked up and clapped me on the shoulder, saying in that gruff way of his, “I’m sorry for your loss, Calder, my boy. Your father was a hell of a man.” Handing me a business card, he continued, “Anytime you want to talk…or just work out some frustration, come see me at the gym.”

Gil gave me back my sanity after I returned to Manhattan as a civilian. It had been easier to push off mourning my father’s death during the few years I was deployed on mission after mission, but upon returning to New York and subsequently learning in a letter from my long-dead mother’s attorney that Jack Blake wasn’t my biological father, I finally mourned Jack’s death by taking a month long drinking binge. I may have drunkenly called Gil one night. I’m really not sure. All I know is that Gil found me at a bar and dragged me to his gym.

“Wake up!” someone yelled while spraying me with a burst of hard water in a dark alley.

“What the hell!” I stumbled to my feet, wet trash sliding underneath my shoes. Resisting the urge to shiver in the cold, I blinked the water out of my eyes and tried to make out the shadowy figure in the hat wielding a firehose. “Who the fuck are you?”

“Watch your mouth!” A hard spray sliced across my face from ear to ear, jacking my fury even more. Coughing up water, I lunged unsteadily toward the man, but he just turned the spray toward my crotch and hit it full blast.

Ooomph.
The laser accuracy sent pain from my balls straight to my brain. I grabbed my junk and fell back against the wall, bent over and moaning. “Son of a motherfucker!”

“Your father would be appalled, Calder!”

When his familiar voice sank in, I glared at him in the darkness. “Gil?”

“Damn straight it is.” He slammed the hose on the asphalt and stalked toward me, all gruff and grumble. “Now that you’re somewhat aware, haul your drunk ass inside and get dried off. We need to talk.”

An hour later, we sat at his office table, and over a pot of coffee I spilled my guts, telling Gil about the letter I received from my mother’s attorney.

“I wish she’d never told me, Gil. Honest to God, I wish I could unlearn that bit of history. But I can’t help but think that things could’ve all turned out differently if she had just confessed to my dad.”

”Rebecca didn’t tell your father for a reason, Calder.”

I snapped my gaze to Gil’s. “You knew about the other guy?” I growled out the question, full of renewed resentment.

“I was the one who told her to never tell your father.”

I jumped to my feet, the newly brewed coffee pot jostling in the center of the table. “Why the hell would you do that?”

Gil held up his work-roughened hands, unperturbed by my outburst. “Becca came to me, distraught with guilt once she learned she was pregnant. She and Jack had tried to get pregnant for four years without success. I think she felt that since I was Jack’s best friend, telling me was like confessing to him. But I knew the news would destroy Jack, so I told her she could never tell him. I wanted my best friend to have a chance at happiness and with a baby on the way, it was possible for them both to have the family they always wanted if she could get past the guilt.” He snorts. “I suppose I understand her reasoning for telling you once Jack died—only a mother would think her child might one day need a ‘familial match’ for medical reasons—but I agree, I wish she had never told you at all.”

I was shaking inside, ready to explode.

Gil didn’t have all the facts. My mother never got over the guilt. She kept it buried. He didn’t know she committed suicide, because it was easier for the Blake family to have the outside world believe she died of a brain aneurism. Other than making Gil feel like shit—when he was obviously trying to help me—what would be the point of telling him the truth then? At the very least, I could honor my dad’s wish to keep my mother’s suicide quiet. Bash is the only other person who knows the truth about my mother’s death, but my cousin knows first hand how to live with Blake family secrets.

I sat back down and grabbed the empty coffee mug, shaking my head to clear away the liquor-fueled fog I’d been under the past few weeks. To learn I wasn’t the only one who carried the burden of the truth felt freeing somehow.

Gil poured me a fresh cup of coffee and then held my gaze. “I want to clear one thing up—”

“It’s over and done.” My chest might’ve felt lighter, but I could already feel my back muscles tightening at the subject in general. I folded my fingers tight around the ceramic and tried to suppress my resentment and anger at my mother for destroying my blissful ignorance. Even as my fingers singed, I pressed them against the coffee’s heat, welcoming the pain.

“Calder, son. It’s best if—”

“No more,” I barked out at the same time the coffee cup shattered, sloshing steaming liquid all over my hands. “Son of a bitch!” I yelled, jumping up.

Gil threw me a towel and gruffly told me to calm down. “Listen, I know we can’t do anything about the past, but Becca told me—”

“Not another goddamn word about it, Gil,” I gritted out as I wiped the coffee off my hands in fast swipes. “Or I’ll walk out of here and never speak to you again.”

And to his credit, Gil has never spoken about the past. Instead, he became an invaluable friend. Working out with Gil’s guys gave me something to focus on other than the fact I was never really a Blake. The distraction built into something far more than a physical honing of my body. It was different than being in the military, but I became a part of a family here.

After Gil got attacked for standing up to the EUC over one of his fighters who disappeared, I had a purpose that could put my special military training to use as well. I made a plan and went undercover as Steel with the sole intent of taking down the EUC and holding them all accountable for their crimes related to MMA fighting.

What I didn’t expect was to grow so close to Gil in the process. The gym and the fighters are the only family he has ever had. He treats the guys like his adopted kids, but for some reason I’m different. He treats me like the son he never had. Maybe he does so out of loyalty to Jack, or he has regrets about the advice he gave my mom all those years ago.

All I know is…seeing him lying there all beaten and bruised in that hospital bed put me on the kind of focused path I’ve only felt during missions. The EUC group will go down. I protect my family and those close to me with fierce conviction.

And I’m close. Once I win this last rescheduled fight, I’ll get to meet the benefactors. I’ll finally have names and faces to give the authorities. Now that I’ll have access to the Carver’s house, there’s a slim chance I’ll get a lead even sooner if I can get ahold of Beth’s phone and swipe her boyfriend’s phone number. Then I could hand the info off to Bash’s team to trace. I honestly believe Beth is clueless about the depth of her boyfriend and his business partner’s illegal activities.

Watching flashes of pain crease Gil’s face as he slides his rolling chair toward his desk tugs me back to the here and now. As a deep hole of fury burns in my chest, I look away and try not to let myself feel. Worry for Cass is consuming me; I just can’t let anything else take an emotional toll on me right now. I need to stay focused and sharp for everyone I care about.

Swallowing down my emotion, I glance Gil’s way and answer his gruffness with my own. “If you wouldn’t take so long to get seated I’d be out of here already.”

Gil scrunches his face, his gaze suddenly narrowed on me. “Where’d you say you’ll be?”

I slide my hands in my pants pockets. “At the Carver estate. I’m doing some extra security duty for Celeste Carver during her father’s social events the next couple of days.”

Gil tilts his head and eyes me. “She’s a real beauty from what I’ve seen in the tabloids.”

When I realize I’m nodding, I shrug. “She’s also spoiled and newly engaged.”

Laughing, Gil lifts his cane toward me. “Engaged isn’t married. Not yet.”

I stiffen. “She’s a client, Gil. Nothing more. I don’t need you to find me a girlfriend.”

He squints at me, then taps his barrel chest. “Hey, I introduced you to Alana. You two seemed to hit it off.”

Shaking my head, I reach for the door. “Again, stop trying to play matchmaker, old man. I’m going to go over the schedule with Erik and have him run the training.”

Gil tugs his hat’s bill, pulling it farther down on his head. “Why am I here, then?”

“To hammer that damn cane on the floor. Why else?” I say with a wide grin.

I’m pretty sure he flipped me off as I headed out the door.

“W
here are my keys?” I confront Marco in the hallway outside Celeste’s bedroom after I found my purse dumped on the bed.

He pushes off the wall and jams thick fingers through his dark hair, breaking its slicked hardness into standing separate pieces and shrugs his thick shoulders. I twitch my nose and try not to breathe in the waft of strong aftershave that floats my way. “Anthony took
Celeste’s
car to be processed. Everything of
hers
has been taken to comb through it for any leads we can find.”

Phillip must’ve informed the guards since he’s having them collect her belongings. Great, the man who is supposedly protecting me knows I’m an imposter. I’m so glad Calder insisted on being my security, because this guy has no reason to risk his life to save mine. And I can tell by the twitching smirk on his mouth and dislike in his eyes, he’s enjoying my annoyance.

My phone is in the trunk of her car. Calder is going to flip when he doesn’t hear from me.
God, who knows what they’ll do when they discover my phone. Will they wipe it completely?
Grrr.
Wait, Marco mentioned taking everything.
I step back to the doorway of the room. Damn it! Her laptop is gone too
.
Even though I know Celeste’s family has every right to confiscate her things, I keep my gaze from skirting to her nightstand where I replaced her diary in its hidden compartment.

“Whatever,” I say, showing mild irritation as I casually step into the room and shut the door in Marco’s face. The second I quietly flip the lock on the door, I head for the nightstand, my heart pumping.

I apply pressure to the drawer’s fake bottom panel, but when it easily gives underneath my hand and no book slides onto the carpet, my heart sinks.
Empty.
Her diary is gone too.

Standing, I rub my temples in frustration, wondering how I’ll find Celeste now. Her room was supposed to be my base of operation, but now it’s devoid of all potential leads. I turn a full circle in Celeste’s room, looking for other sources of information, but nothing jumps out. And now I can’t even do any research via the web without a phone or a laptop, nor can I chase down leads without a car.