Steel Rush (In the Shadows#5) (41 page)

I
glance at the car’s clock, my fingers tapping rapidly on the steering wheel.

Where is she?

When Cass walks out of the main door, her steps brisk, her face pinched, I grip the steering wheel and straighten, watching her body language.

She unlocks her car and gets in, then turns to mess with something in her passenger seat.
Ah, a laptop
.

I watch her face, full of intense concentration.

She leans close like she’s gripping her laptop.

What is she thinking?

What will she do? Will her new friendship impact her decision?

My gaze narrows.

I had to secretly bank five pints of blood, go to an abortion clinic, feed you texts and clues, all while you wormed your way into my family and stole my sister’s affection.

Don’t steal this from me too, Cass.

If you go to the police and Phillip gets out, he won’t stop until he finds me.

Not ever.

Don’t make me wrong about you.

Don’t make me regret my trust.

I lift the handgun sitting on the passenger seat and set it in my lap, pressing my lips together.

Don’t make me kill you.

Cass starts her car and I do the same. Setting the gun back in the passenger seat, I push my sunglasses tighter against my face and tug my ball cap down, following her.

Pulling the gun closer, I check to make sure the safety is Off. She’d better not go to the police.

When she pulls into the Blake estate, I exhale my relief and turn my car toward the Interstate.

It’s good to know you’re just as smart as you were in high school, Cass.

I
ring the bell at the Blake family home. Calder’s place isn’t quite as ostentatious as the Carver’s estate, but it’s a good-sized estate set far back on several acres.

Calder opens the door, a beer in one hand and surprise reflected in his gaze. “Hey, Cass. Are you here to help me pack?”

“Phillip is going away for a very long time,” I say, then step inside and take his beer, draining the bottle in one long gulp.

“Are you okay?” He chuckles when I hand him the empty bottle.

I shake my head and walk into the living room, apparently the only room that’s not completely cleared of furniture or full of boxes.

Calder follows me into the room and I look at him, my eyebrows hiked. “Why do you have a fire going? It’s sixty degrees outside.”

Instead of answering, he points to my laptop tucked under my arm. “Does the beer chugging have to do with that?”

Lifting my laptop up, I open it and turn it around for him to see. “I need to show you something.”

Calder takes my laptop and reads the document, his brows pulling down as he reads. When he’s done, he lifts his eyes to mine. “Where’d you get this?”

I gesture to the memory stick still in the slot. “Celeste left that for me to find. An obscure clue only I would get at the end of her diary led me to it.”

Calder closes my laptop, a smirk tilting his lips. “Karma has nothing on a smart, determined woman. That’s one hell of a payback.”

“I
told
her father she could run a company,” I mutter, then shake my head. Turning to face the fire, I wrap my arms around myself, suddenly chilled. “I know Phillip has done horrible things and he absolutely deserves jail time, but he didn’t murder anyone. My stomach is knotting that I played a part in putting him away for murder, Calder.”

Taking the memory stick, Calder sets my laptop down on the floor, then moves to stand beside me. “If there was a way to erase Phillip from my family tree, I would, Cass. But if I did that, I never would’ve met you. And since I can’t change the past, I absolutely want him to suffer to the full extent of the law and beyond for every bit of pain he’s caused.”

I glance at him as he stares at the memory stick. “I wish I’d never found her letter. I don’t want this burden.”

“Then I’ll carry it,” he says, tossing the memory stick into the fire. Turning me to face him, he takes my hand and flattens it on the scar across his hip just above his jeans’ waistband. “Forensics proved Phillip was the one who shot at us that night, Cass. We were lucky it was dark, because he’s a hunter who was absolutely shooting to kill.”

I nod as I rub my thumb over the scar the bullet wound left behind, then cup my hand over his hip. When Calder doesn’t react or touch me back, my heart constricts a little. I release him and glance around the room. A box of records and another box of books sit by the doorway. The other boxes around the edges of the room are taped closed and marked donation. The only piece of furniture left in the room is a soft leather chair. Sitting in front of the chair on the wood floor is a shoebox and a six-pack of beer.

I gesture to the shoebox. “What’s in there?”

“Memories that
aren’t
.”

“Memories always
are
, Calder. Good or bad. They exist.”

He shrugs. “Not when they weren’t real.”

“Let’s see about that,” I say, scooping up the shoebox before he can stop me. When I pull the lid off and all I see are remnants of pictures someone has snipped up with scissors, I gape. “Did you do this?”

His face hardens. “A
child
did that after his mother killed herself.” He glances away, shoving his hands into his jeans. “When my father found out what I’d done to our family pictures, he was furious, but he refused to throw them away. I found them in the attic while cleaning it out this week.”

I lift a handful of the colorful images showing bits of happiness: smiling faces, beach sunsets, waterslides, carnival rides, Christmas trees, a woman laughing. “There are happy times here, Calder. You just need to remember them.”

He snorts. “I was about to toss that into the fire when you rang the bell. It was the last thing I had left to do.”

“You’re
not
done.” Raising my eyebrows, I turn the box upside down, dumping the contents on the floor.

“Not playing, Cass,” he says, his expression unreadable.

I drop to my knees and begin to turn the picture pieces right side up. When I find one that has Calder’s face, I
coo
at the baby ones and
awww
at the little boy pictures. Apparently Calder has always been adorable.

He watches me for at least ten minutes until I look up at him and huff, “Well, come on, Master Puzzler. This will go much faster with both of us working this massive puzzle.

He frowns. “You plan to put them all back together?”

“Of course. How else am I going to get to see your family album? I’m dying to know what the deal is with the stuffed purple gorilla.”

He snorts. “You mean Grape Ape.”

I lift my hands. “How would I know? You have to tell me the stories.”

Calder joins me on the floor. Opening two beers, he hands me one. While we spend a couple hours putting the pictures together, he tells me stories about backpacking and beach trips. At one point while he’s telling me about Menemsha beach in Chilmark in Martha’s Vineyard, he closes his eyes and inhales. “I can still feel the sun on my face and smell the fresh ocean air. There’s nothing quite like it.”

“Sounds amazing,” I say, smiling.

He looks at me and taps his beer bottle to mine. “I’ll take you there one day so you can experience the beautiful sunsets. They’re indescribable.”

“I’d like that.”

He stares off into space and a slow smile spreads across his face. I can tell he’s reliving a happy memory. “What are you thinking?”

He glances my way. “I remember my mom and dad dancing in the sand. Even on the beach, people stopped to watch them. That’s one thing I definitely got from my dad.”

“Oh yeah, what’s that?” I tease, loving that he’s starting to reconnect with happy family memories.

Setting his beer down, Calder stands and picks his phone up from the fireplace mantel. Scrolling through it, he selects a song and then walks over to me, holding his hand out. “Dance with me, Cass.”

I put my hand in his as Ed Sheeran’s soulful ballad “Thinking Out Loud” streams from his phone. As the music comes alive and the empty room’s acoustics gives the song a larger than life feel, Calder folds his arm behind my back and holds my other hand out. And then he dances with me around the empty room, directing me in big sweeping spins and turns, ballroom dancing style.

While the song’s first words weave a sweet spell of togetherness around a couple who’ve been together forever, my heart aches for the loss of his parents. Yet I can’t help but yearn for the kind of forever the lyrics describe. I let myself fall into the security and peace the words evoke for as long as it lasts while Calder holds me in his arms.

I’m enthralled with his dancing skill and adore the happiness in his face as he stares down at me right before he twirls me away from him. When he pulls me back toward his chest, I grin and relish the excitement in my belly from the quick kiss he drops on my nose before sending me away from him once more. It makes me hope that he might want the same…a permanent future together.

Once the music ends, my pulse races and I know my cheeks are glowing. My heart is so full of love for this man. “Your dad taught you how to ballroom dance?”

He laughs. “Actually, yes and no. My mother was the one who danced with me so I could learn the male parts, but my father was the expert who instructed. He drilled me until I learned every step.”

“I had no idea there was such hidden talent in those toes of yours.”

He yanks me close, a cocky grin flashing. “Head to toe, baby. Head to toe.” Just when I think he’s going to kiss me, my phone starts buzzing in my back pocket.

“Oh crap, that’s my reminder that I have dinner with Beth in a half hour.” I grimace when reality hits. “How will I keep a straight face now?”

Calder clasps my shoulders. “You didn’t make Celeste’s decision to leave. She did. Knowing the truth doesn’t change the fact that Beth lost a sister forever. Just be her friend, Cass. You’re probably more a ‘sister’ to her than Celeste has been in a long time.”

He’s right. As soon as I saw Jake’s nickname on Brent’s shell corporation, I knew that Jake was Hammer. And once I called and told Beth what Brent did to me in the past and the other crimes he was suspected of, she was completely on board to help me get past EUC security and back me up if Jake was as off-the-rails as Ben claimed. Ever since that night, Beth has kept in touch. When I nod my agreement about Beth and start to pull away, Calder slides his hands down my arms and captures my wrists. “Thank you.”

“For what?” I ask, confused.

He rubs his thumbs slowly over the fine bones of my wrists, then glances toward the pictures on the floor. “For reminding me that even in sad memories…there are good ones too.”

I smile. “By my count, you still have a third of the pictures left. Your assignment is to look at every single one.”

He smirks. “I have three more beers. I think I’m covered.”

Before I can step away, he folds his hands around mine. “I owe Alana a favor for her part in procuring the necklace I gave you.”

I tense at the mention of his ex and notice that he glances down at my bare neck. Does he wonder why I’m not wearing his leather necklace now? Talia had returned the diamond one to me in mint condition a week ago, but wearing either one of Calder’s gifts without him in my life was just too painful. I’d put them away in the hopes that one day I’d never have to go a day without wearing one.