Staying Strong: 365 Days a Year (5 page)

I’ve been to parties where I’ve seen these really gorgeous girls hiding in the corners afraid to talk to anyone. I can tell they’re insecure. Maybe they don’t think they’re pretty enough or they don’t think they have the right outfit on, but it immediately dims their inner light. To me there’s nothing more attractive than someone owning who they are in the skin they’re in.

Goal:
Find what makes you comfortable and confident. Remember how special you are and wear it with pride!

February 19

Mistakes are nothing more than opportunities to learn, grow, and better our future.

It’s so easy to beat ourselves up for mistakes we’ve made in the past. Mistakes are part of being human and they are part of being alive. Our mistakes are blessings and opportunities to keep learning and expanding. But even when you learn from your mistakes don’t expect to never make another. You will and that’s okay.

Goal:
Keep growing and embrace each challenge as a chance to learn something new and you will be amazed by how easy it is to move on.

February 20

I know it’s an experience that I need to have if God’s putting me through it.

—LIL WAYNE

Sometimes when things are really trying and painful all we can think is, why on earth do I have to go through this, why do I deserve this? But there’s a better way to approach a trying moment in life. Instead of resisting it, try surrendering to it and considering that there’s a reason it has been given to you and not somebody else. If you are dealing with it, it is part of your journey.

Goal:
The next time you go through a trying time, find the ways in which you can grow and learn instead of dwelling on your suffering.

February 21

When people don’t express themselves, they die one piece at a time.

—LAURIE HALSE ANDERSON

Music has always helped me express what I cannot say with words. One of the most rewarding things about my profession is that I get to use my voice and my songs to help touch others and give them strength. I know exactly what it is like to sit alone in your room, broken down, bruised inside and out, lonely, and desperate to feel loved and connected to someone. My songs are not only for me, but they are for every single person out there in need of a friend. They are for anyone who has ever felt like they needed someone to stand by their side. If you are reading this book, please know I am here for you, and I want to be there to help you get through your darkest days.

Goal:
Put on any song that always makes you feel better. If you’re a musician/songwriter then pick up your instrument and express yourself.

February 22

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched—they must be felt with the heart.

—HELEN KELLER

It is the intangible things that make life so amazing. The most incredible memories in my life have been experiences and emotions that can’t be described or re-created. I spent so many years trying to create a high from drugs and alcohol when little did I know, the strongest high had been right in front of me the entire time—life.

Goal:
Take the time to slow down and experience something you cannot see but something beautiful that you can feel.

February 23

Always be a first-rate version of yourself instead of a second-rate version of someone else.

—JUDY GARLAND

Just like snowflakes, there is no one else on this planet like you. Don’t waste your time trying to be like other people. Be the best you and own it. You’re best at being yourself—not anyone else. If we all looked, talked, and walked the same, no one would be unique. Individuality wouldn’t exist. Being different is what makes us special and the world so exciting.

Goal:
Assess your character. Be certain that you’re not modeling yourself after someone, but just being who you are meant to be. Go ahead, be weird because “normal” is boring!

February 24

Courage to change.

—UNKNOWN

Change is part of life but for some reason, it can feel scary. Change means growth and growth means that we’re evolving. I remember when I was a kid, my parents told me I had to learn certain lessons in order to grow up. As I got older I realized my lessons not only became more difficult to understand and overcome, but they also became more valuable. It’s made my life much more meaningful. Growing takes courage, so as you go through your own growing pains in life just remember to stay strong and be brave and courageous, because you are growing and becoming a better person.

Goal:
What’s something you’d like to change about your life or yourself? Find the courage to start making it happen one step at a time.

February 25

No matter what you have been through in life, good or bad, don’t take it for granted. There are lessons in every moment of our lives.

Each of us leads unique lives with experiences that nobody else will ever completely understand. Your story holds so many valuable lessons that can help inspire, teach, and motivate someone else should you choose to share it. In treatment, I heard so many different stories. Just by listening, I learned so many different things. I’m so thankful I found the courage to share my story and talk about what I’ve been through. Not only has it helped me, but it’s helped give perspective and strength to so many other people. I encourage you to do the same.

Goal:
Share your story with someone. You never know how one sentence of your life story could inspire someone to rewrite their own.

February 26

Nothing is impossible; the word itself says “I’m possible.”

—AUDREY HEPBURN

What is possible in this life is relative to what you’re capable of. As we expand our knowledge and consciousness, we continue to grow, and the things that we thought were not possible suddenly become attainable. The more we are encouraged to expand our knowledge and our perceptions about how things work in our lives, the more we are able to accomplish.

Goal:
Put your mind to a chore or task today. Turn impossible into possible. Make a list of ways your biggest dreams can one day come true.

February 27

For to set the mind on the flesh is death, for to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.

—ROMANS 8:6

As someone who has dealt with an eating disorder most of my life, I have spent so much time focusing on what was on the outside rather than what was on the inside. In a way I was dead on the inside. When I started focusing on myself, who I really was, I started to cultivate a loving relationship with myself. It was only then that I was able to feel confident and beautiful in my own skin.

Goal:
Focus on what you have inside that makes you beautiful. List 5–10 nonphysical attributes of yourself that make you the spectacular human being that you truly are.

February 28

People need people—we’re all in this together.

When we are hiding from ourselves, it’s so easy to become isolated. Over time, we start internalizing our emotions, engaging reclusive behavior, and before we know it, we’re completely alone. This can leave us feeling depressed. While it’s vital to know how to be alone and comfortable with yourself, we also must remember that we need the love and companionship of others. When I stopped isolating myself and reconnected with friends and family, I felt a weight fall off my shoulders.

Goal:
Reach out to those closest to you and begin rebuilding those relationships. Step out of your comfort zone and think of ways you can seek support from others.

March 1

Sometimes the greatest gift you can give yourself is a gift you give to someone else.

When I was thirteen years old, I gave $150 of babysitting money to my church. I was so proud of myself for performing this good deed that I had to go tell every single person I knew. Later that day I didn’t feel as good about my kind act and I couldn’t figure out why. I realized that I was doing it partly for the recognition, not just from a good place in my heart. It’s important to do good things for other people without expecting anything in return. The pure and simple gesture of compassion speaks volumes and helps others and ourselves in ways we can’t even fully comprehend.

Goal:
Perform a loving act of kindness anonymously. Do something today for a stranger expecting nothing in return and cherish the feeling you get from giving.

March 2

Hate is only a form of love that hasn’t found a way to express itself logically.

—LIL WAYNE

In school, I felt hatred toward my bullies. I realized that resenting others was only hurting myself. I ended up projecting my insecurities and taking it out on other people. A chain reaction. If I had been more resolved and confident in my ability to love myself, I would have found more productive ways to confront and rise above the negativity around me.

Goal:
Don’t let hate get the best of you. Have compassion for your bullies today by understanding their actions are only a result of unhappiness and pain within themselves.

March 3

The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.

—AYN RAND

If I’d believed all the people who told me that I didn’t have what it takes to make it, I would be nowhere. It took me a while to build up my confidence. It can be really scary, but it’s better to rise to the challenge and overcome those feelings because in the end those people don’t matter. Along my journey I stopped worrying about all the nonsense. I gave up trying to control my destiny and let the love of what I do best take over instead of worrying about failure. The only one who was actually stopping me was myself. Whenever I encounter people now who tell me I can’t achieve something, it just reminds me that I shouldn’t listen to them. But only believe in myself.

Goal:
Is there someone in your life who keeps trying to get in the way of your success? It might be time to have a talk with them or let them out of your life.

March 4

Trust is a bond between two people that is found only when they are able to listen and understand where the other person is coming from. That to me is the key to friendships and relationships.

Relationships between family, friends, significant others, and colleagues are complicated and full of learning experiences. Nobody comes into this world knowing everything. We all go through different experiences, make mistakes, have successes, and then make more mistakes that we can learn from. The ability to trust and listen to the people in your life is the foundation all healthy relationships are built on.

Goal:
When talking to friends, make sure you are really listening to what they have to say and aren’t distracted by something else. You owe that to them and you would want the same in return.

March 5

From now on we live in a world where man has walked on the moon. It’s not a miracle, we just decided to go.

—JIM LOVELL

Most things that we dream about are actually achievable. When we look up at the sky and see the moon so far away, it seems impossible and unfathomable that a human being has actually been up there. But mankind made it happen and it all started with a dream.

Goal:
Believe in the impossible today. It may not be impossible after all. What’s your dream?

March 6

Cherish the moment.

This moment right here, while you’re reading this book, is all you have. You have yourself and your life today, which is all you ever need. We spend so much time focusing on the past or our future that we forget how blessed we are to still be here surrounded by beautiful things.

Goal:
Try to live in the moment. Appreciate the life you are living right now and how blessed you are to still be alive today.

March 7

I’m grateful for all the love and all the heartache I’ve experienced in my life. Both have been equally wonderful.

In love I have been elated and brokenhearted and felt every emotion in between. As I’ve gotten older I’ve learned to embrace the painful parts, because I realize they make me stronger and they are just parts of life. It hurts to power through the rough times but just like a muscle, it must be exercised before it’s able to become stronger.

Goal:
Think about a specific painful moment in your life, and then think about how that feeling didn’t last forever even though you thought it would. Remember that life will continue to go on and time really does heal all wounds.

March 8

The only way to have a friend is to be one.

—RALPH WALDO EMERSON

You can’t expect others to treat you well unless you yourself treat people well. Sometimes you can’t really know how to be a good friend until you need one. The golden rule is something we’ve all heard a million times growing up—treat other people the way you want to be treated. It may seem cliché but if more people lived by that motto, the world would be a much better place.