Starting Over (Treading Water Trilogy) (25 page)

Driving into the neighborhood, Brandon let out a low whistle at the rows of swanky new houses his father called “
McMansions
.” Valerie’s was a brick colonial with black shutters, a sweeping front porch, and an ornate two-story window over the front door. A stone wall lined the property.
She sure has come up in the world since her days with me
, Brandon thought as he pulled into the circular driveway.

Valerie waited for him on a wicker sofa on the front porch, and when she stood up to greet him, he saw that she was well into her second pregnancy. The sun brought out the red highlights in her brown hair, and Brandon thought she’d never been lovelier.

Her eyes widened as he came up the stairs to the porch. “Look at you.” She shook her head, as if she couldn’t believe what she was seeing. “You look wonderful! You couldn’t have had the decency to look like crap?”

His laughter broke the ice. “You’re gorgeous, Val. Pregnancy certainly agrees with you.” He kissed her cheek and sat next to her on the sofa.

“God, I can’t get over you. Erin told me you were doing really well, but you look ten years younger than you did the last time I saw you.”

“I’ve been working out again. Feels good to be back in shape. In fact, it feels good to be back in life, to be honest with you.”

She rested a hand on top of his, and the sunlight reflected off a big diamond ring. “I’m proud of you, Brand. You’re really doing it, aren’t you?”

“I’m trying. You’ve got a beautiful place here.”

“Thanks.”

“When’s the baby due?”

“Mid-June, if I make it that far. I was early with Chelsea.” She ran a hand over the baby. “This one’s a boy, and he’s a kicker.”

“I hear Chelsea’s a cutie.”

“She’s a sweetheart. We got really lucky with her.”

“Are you happy, Val?”

Blinking back tears, she looked away from him. “Yeah. My husband, Pete, is a wonderful father.”

“What does he do?”

“He’s in sales for a software company.”

“Are you working at all?” She’d been the executive assistant to the CEO of a local bank when they were together.

She shook her head. “I’m a stay-at-home mom these days.”

“Erin said your husband’s a good guy.”

Valerie swiped at her eyes. “He loves me, you know? Really loves me.”

“You deserve that.”

“I know you never loved me, Brandon, but I thought if I loved you enough for both of us that one day you’d fall in love with me, too.”

His heart aching, he kept a firm grip on her hand. “I couldn’t be more sorry for the way I treated you. You were so good to me, and you stayed with me a lot longer than most women would have. I certainly didn’t give you much reason to stay.”

“I loved you so desperately. I don’t think you ever had any idea how much.”

Her softly spoken words brought tears to his eyes. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered. “It wasn’t anything you did or didn’t do. I want you to know that.”

“Then what was it?”

Brandon wiped his face and took a deep breath. “I was in love with Sarah. Aidan’s wife.”

Valerie gasped. “But she’d been dead for two years when we met. I don’t understand…”

“I’d been in love with her since I was a kid, but she was always my brother’s girlfriend and then his wife. When she died…” He shook his head when he was unable to continue.

“Does Aidan know?”

“He does now.”

“Oh, my God,” she whispered. “What did he say?”

“He was shocked, to put it mildly.”

“It certainly explains some things.”

“None of what happened between us was your fault, Val. I hope you see that. I didn’t think I could love anyone after she died. It was like that part of me died, too, or at least I thought it had. I was wrong to become so involved with you when I knew I had nothing to give you.”

“Thank you for telling me this. It helps to know there wasn’t anything else I could’ve done. I spent a lot of time after I left you asking myself that.”

“There wasn’t. You were up against the ghost of a girl who was never even mine. I let it screw up my life and yours.”

“It wasn’t all bad, though, was it?” she asked softly. “We had some good times, didn’t we?”

“We had some great times.”

A cry from the baby monitor on the table startled them out of their memories.

“I guess that’s my cue.” Brandon stood up. He wanted to ask if he could meet her daughter but knew he didn’t belong inside the home she shared with her husband. He suspected she knew it, too, which was why she’d met him on the porch.

“I’m glad you came,” she said, taking the hand he offered to help her up.

“So am I.” He drew her into a hug. “Can I ask you one thing?”

She pulled back from him. “Sure.”

“You didn’t say you love him—your husband. You do, don’t you?”

“I love him as much as I’m able to, but it’s different. It’s not the all-consuming love I felt for you. That only comes along once in a lifetime. Everything else just pales in comparison.”

Brandon nodded to show he understood, but he was sorry he’d asked. “Thanks for seeing me. Good luck with the baby.”

“Good luck with your recovery.”

“Thanks.” He kissed her cheek and went down the stairs.

She was still standing on the porch when he drove away.

Chapter 22, Day 72

Brandon snuggled with Daphne on the sofa in her living room. They’d been out to dinner with Mike, who was almost fully recovered from her bug, but she fell asleep early.

Daphne ran her fingers through his hair. “Everything okay? You’ve been quiet tonight.”

He shrugged.

“What is it?”

“I saw my ex-girlfriend today.”

“Oh.”

“It’s not what you think,
hon
, so don’t go there. I’m not still hung up on her. I needed to see her as part of my recovery. I owed her a big apology.”

“For what?”

“I wasn’t very nice to her, and I caused her a lot of pain.”

“I can’t imagine that.”

“You didn’t know me when I was drinking, thank God. I was an awful person, and I hurt a lot of people, including Valerie, my ex.”

“Those days are behind you now.”

“I’m still tempted to drink, but then I think about how far I’ve come and what I have in my life now, and I see it’s not worth it.”

“So it was hard? To see her?”

“Actually, it was nice to see her. We were together for five years, and it ended badly, so it was good to have the chance to fix that. But she said some stuff that was hard to hear.”

“What kind of stuff?”

“I just have a better idea now of how much I hurt her. I’m still getting used to dealing with things like that without the anesthesia I used to get from booze.”

“I get this pain, right here in my stomach, when we talk about this.”

He winced. “I’m sorry.”

“That doesn’t mean I don’t want to talk about it, because I do. So why did you guys break up?”

“I never loved her, and she got sick of putting up with my shit while she was waiting for me to come around.”

“You were with a woman you didn’t love for five years?” Daphne asked with amazement.

“It’s just one of many things I’m ashamed of, believe me. I’m going to have to tell you this stuff in small doses if I want to keep you around.”

She framed his face with her hands. “I didn’t know you then, but I know you now, and I love the man you are today. I love you, Brandon.”

“I love you, too,” he said, unable to keep the words inside for another minute. He leaned in to kiss her softly. “I’ve never said that to a woman before. I used to think that was so pathetic, but now I’m glad I saved it for you.”

“Brandon,” she sighed as she pressed her lips to his.

The kiss was hot and deep, but Brandon pulled back before they ended up making love on the sofa. He had plans, and that wasn’t one of them. “Will you do something for me?”

“Sure.”

“Come with me to my sister’s on Sunday, and bring overnight bags for you and Mike?”

“Easter dinner with the O’Malleys is a sleepover?” she asked with a saucy smile.

“Very funny.” He kissed the end of her nose. “Will you just do it and not ask questions?”

“What needs to be in these hypothetical overnight bags?”

“Well, Mike needs PJs, a toothbrush, a change of clothes, and Brandon the Bear.” He was amazed to realize he could pack the child’s bag himself if he had to. “And you just need a toothbrush in yours.”

She laughed. “That’s it?”

He pretended to give it significant thought. “Yeah, that’s about it.”

“What’re you up to, Brandon O’Malley?”

“Nothing you need to know about now. Will you do it? Come to Erin’s and bring the overnight stuff?”

“Are you sure your family won’t mind us being there? I don’t think your father likes me very much.”

“Oh, he’s a big blow-hard. Don’t let him scare you off. They’d love to have you, and Mike will have so much fun with the kids.”

Daphne bit her lip as she gave it some thought. “Okay. We’ll go, but on one condition.”

“I can’t wait to hear this.”

“Come to church with us on Easter morning?”

Brandon’s smile faded. “I don’t really do the church thing anymore.”

“I do it for Mike. Well, that’s not entirely true. I do it for me, too. With all the moving around, it’s the one thing that’s familiar no matter where we are. There’s comfort in that, you know?”

Strangely enough, he did. “I can see what you’re saying, but it’s not my scene.”

“Do it for me?”

“Don’t make that face,” he groaned. “I can’t say no to that face.”

“I’ll have to remember that.”

Brandon smiled. “Okay, you win. I’ll go—but just this once. Now, there’s one other thing I need you to do for me.”

“You’re becoming very high maintenance,” she joked.

“I’m just getting started, baby.” He gave her a sloppy, wet kiss. “Will you keep Mike out of the yard tomorrow afternoon?”

Daphne raised an eyebrow. “Why?”

“The Easter bunny left her an early present, and I don’t want her to see it until it’s ready for her.”

“What did you do, Brandon?” Daphne asked, all signs of kidding around gone.

“It’s nothing.” He squirmed under the heat of her glare. “Just a little surprise. I can buy her something if I want to, can’t I?”

Daphne sat up. “I don’t want you to spoil her. It’ll just make it harder when we…”

“When you what?” he asked, sitting up next to her.

“When we have to go,” she said softly.

Her words struck fear in his heart. “You’re not going anywhere, Daphne.”

“I won’t want to, but I will if I have to.”

Slipping an arm around her, he guided her head onto his shoulder. “While I was out today, I went to see a friend of mine who’s a lawyer.” He’d planned to wait to tell her until he had more information from Alan.

She gasped and looked up at him, her face white with fear. “You didn’t tell him…”

“I didn’t use any names. I’d never do anything to endanger you or Mike. You have to know that.” When he saw that he’d succeeded in reassuring her, he continued. “My friend, Alan, is doing some research on our behalf. He’s going to call me this week and wants us to come to his house for dinner. He has two girls Mike can play with while we figure this out with him.”

“I can’t afford lawyers, Brandon.”

“I can. I’ll spend every dime I have if that’s what it takes to work this out.”

“I can’t ask you to do that.”

“You didn’t ask me, so don’t worry about it. You can’t expect me to sit idly by and wait for them to turn your lives—and mine—upside down when they find you again. I can’t do that, Daph. I promised Mike I’d find a way out of this, and I’m going to do it.”

“When did you talk to Mike about it?”

“She told me this morning she doesn’t want to move anymore, and I promised her I’d fix it. Let me fix it, please?”

“I’m almost more afraid of stirring things up than I am of them finding us,” she confessed.

“We’ll be very, very careful. I promise you. I won’t let anyone separate you and Mike. Trust me?”

The look she gave him was the same one he’d gotten that morning from Mike when they discovered they liked the same ice cream. It was full of love and trust. “Of course I do.”

“I need you to promise me you won’t ever leave without telling me. I’d go out of my freaking mind if I didn’t know where you two were.”

“There’ve been times when I’ve had to leave within hours. That’s how fast it can happen. If that happens here, I’ll call you as soon as it’s safe. That’s all I can promise.”

Brandon’s jaw clenched with tension. “This has to stop. It’s going to stop.”