Starting Over (Treading Water Trilogy) (18 page)

She shuddered. “I think something’s burning.”

“It might be me,” Colin said as he trailed more kisses along her jaw.

“On the stove,” she said with a giggle.

After she adjusted the temperature on the burner, Colin drew her back into his arms.

“I don’t do this kind of thing,” she said.

“What? Make out over a hot stove?”

“Make out anywhere.”

“Why not? You’re good at it.”

She laughed. “Stop.”

“Do I have to?” he asked, kissing her again.

“
Colin
.”

“What?” he asked, his lips pressed to her neck.

“Stop.”

Something about the way she said the single word stopped him cold.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’m just not very good at this.”

“I thought we’d already covered that. You’re very good at it.” He kissed her cheek. “Why don’t we eat some of this feast you cooked? It smells wonderful.”

“I hope you’re really hungry.”

“I’m starving.”

She’d made roast beef, seafood casserole, new potatoes, asparagus, salad, and fresh-baked bread.

Colin ate until he couldn’t move. “That was fabulous. Thank you.”

“I made too much,” she said, continuing to sip from her first glass of wine.

“My mother still cooks for seven, even though it’s just the two of them now.”

“She must’ve had to cook for an army when she had four boys at home.”

“She did. We ate like horses, but she made us all learn how to cook so we wouldn’t be helpless.”

Meredith smiled. “She sounds like quite a character.”

Colin reached across the table for her hand. “She would like you.”

Meredith looked away from him.

He slid his chair closer to hers while keeping a firm grip on her hand. “So what are we going to do about this no-dating rule of yours?”

Alarm marked her expression when her gaze whipped up to meet his.

“Because I want to see you again.” He laced his fingers through hers. “Soon.”

“I’m a bad risk, Colin.”

The sadness he heard in her tone tugged at him. “I don’t think so.”

She shook her head.

“Do you like me, Meredith?” He pressed his lips to the inside of her wrist, where he could gauge her response by the flutter of her pulse.

She nodded.

“Then maybe we could see what happens?” When she didn’t answer, he continued. “I won’t hurt you. I’d never hurt you.”

“I’m afraid I’ll hurt you.”

“Oh, I’m tough. I’ll take my chances.”

He was startled when her eyes went shiny with tears. “You don’t understand,” she whispered.

“Help me,” he pleaded. “Help me to understand why a beautiful, sweet, thoughtful young woman would have a no-dating rule, especially a woman who’s so passionate.”

“I’m not passionate.”

“Do I need to refresh your memory?” he asked, kissing her softly.

She pulled away from him and stood up. “I can’t do this, Colin. I just can’t.”

“You can’t or you won’t?”

“Both.”

Colin sighed and got up to retrieve his coat. “Dinner was great. Thank you.”

“Colin…”

He zipped his coat.

“I’m sorry.”

Running a hand over her soft hair, he kissed her cheek. “Not as sorry as I am. I think we could have something great here. You know where to find me if you change your mind.”

She nodded.

He left her standing in the kitchen and let himself out the front door. On the short drive home, he realized with dismay that he now understood what’d been missing with his ex-fiancée Nicole.

She wasn’t Meredith.

Chapter 16, Day 35

Brandon resisted the temptation to run upstairs the minute he arrived at the apartment building. He unpacked, showered, and shaved. When he splashed on a bit of cologne, he told himself he was being an idiot for primping for a five-year-old.

Grabbing the bag he’d dropped on the sofa, he headed out the door and up the stairs. Reaching the third floor, he took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

Daphne seemed surprised to see him when she answered the door. “Hey,” she said. “Come in.”

“How was your weekend?”

“Fine. Nothing special. Mike’s in the tub.”

“I was going to ask if I could take her out for ice cream or something.”

Daphne’s eyes widened. “By yourself?”

“Of course not. You’re invited, too.”

Daphne bit her fingernail as she thought it over. “Well, she has school tomorrow, and she’s already in the tub.”

“Maybe another time.”

“Have a seat.” Daphne gestured to the sofa. “I’ll go get her.”

Brandon sat to wait and used the time to finally study the framed photos of Mike that sat on the end table. Next to a picture of her blowing bubbles as a toddler was one of Daphne, baby Mike, and a sandy-haired man who Brandon assumed was Mike’s father.

She came flying into the room in a pink flannel nightgown, her blonde ringlets still wet from her bath. “You came,” she said, breathless with excitement.

Touched by how pleased she was to see him, Brandon grinned. “I told you I would.”

She placed a tiny hand on each side of his face. “Thank you for not forgetting.”

He held out his arms to her, and when she came to him as if she’d been doing it all her life, he fell flat on his face in love. He closed his eyes and breathed in the sweet scent of baby shampoo. When he opened his eyes, he found Daphne leaning against the doorframe, watching them with a mixture of fear and suspicion in her eyes.

“Hey.” Brandon lifted Mike onto his lap. “I brought you something.”

Her smile lit up her face. “You did?”

He handed her the bag.

She squealed with delight when she pulled a teddy bear from the bag. He was light brown and wore a green sweater that said VERMONT in white block letters. “Oh, I love him,” she said, kissing Brandon’s cheek. “Thank you.”

Her pleasure at such a small gift tugged at his heart. “What will you name him?”

“Brandon,” she said without hesitation. “Brandon the Bear.”

“That’s a very good name.”

Mike giggled. “You smell good.”

“You think so?”

“Uh-huh.” She rested her head on his shoulder as she cuddled the bear.

He felt his shirt grow damp under her wet hair, but he didn’t move her.

“Mike, it’s time for bed,” Daphne said.

“Not yet, Mom. Brandon just got here.”

“If you want a story, it’s now or never.”

Mike turned to Brandon. “Will you read to me?”

“Sure, if it’s okay with your mom. Go get a book.”

She grabbed the bear and took off for her room.

“It was nice of you to bring her something,” Daphne said almost grudgingly.

He shrugged. “It was nothing.”

“Not to her.”

Mike returned with a book about zoo animals plotting their escape and reclaimed her place on his lap.

Brandon surprised himself when he managed to create a different voice for each animal, which thrilled Mike.

“All right, Mike,” Daphne said. “Say good-night.”

“Can I come see you tomorrow?” Mike asked Brandon.

“I’ll be doing some painting in my apartment. Why don’t you come help me when you get home from school?”

“Can I really?”

“Sure you can. Just wear something old.”

Mike hugged him again and whispered in his ear, “I love you.” She kissed his cheek and was gone before he could respond.

“I’ll be right back,” Daphne said as she followed her daughter.

Brandon sat back against the sofa and released a contented sigh. He remembered Alan saying there was nothing like loving someone and having that love returned. Finally, he understood exactly what his friend had meant.

Daphne came back a few minutes later. “Do you want something to drink? Some wine or a beer?”

Brandon swallowed hard. “Um, no, I’m good. Thanks.”

“Do you mind if I have a glass of wine? It’s my reward for getting through the day.”

“I don’t mind.”

“Thank you for being so nice to her. She can be a bit much sometimes, but you’re very patient with her.”

“She’s a great kid.”

Daphne brought her glass of wine with her when she sat down next to him. “She always has been. Ever since she was a baby, she’s just had this way of connecting with people that I’ve never had. She gets that from her father.”

“Can I ask you something that’s none of my business?”

Daphne’s glance was wary. “I guess so.”

“Where is he? Her father?”

“He died five years ago.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry for Mike that she never knew him.”

“What happened to him?” Brandon worried that he was pushing his luck. He kept waiting for her prickly side to reemerge.

“He had a lot of problems.” She gazed into her wineglass as she remembered back in time. “It was almost like the simple act of living was too much for him.”

“How do you mean?”

“Randy came from a powerful family. They were big into politics, and he hated the way they were forced to live in the public eye. He was a gifted artist, but that wasn’t good enough for them. He could never live up to their expectations.”

“I’m almost afraid to ask…”

“I found him in the garage with the car running. They said he’d been dead for an hour. Mike was just a year old then.”

“Jesus, Daphne. I’m so sorry.” He reached out to her and was almost startled when her fingers curled around his.

“It was horrible. I knew he was depressed, but I had no idea he was that despondent.”

“He was probably afraid to let it show to anyone, even you,” Brandon said, speaking with some authority on keeping secrets.

She shrugged. “Maybe. Anyway, Mike and I have been a team ever since, and we’re doing just fine.”

“You’ve done a wonderful job with her.”

“Thanks.”

“Do you have any help? Any family nearby?”

She shook her head. “No, it’s just us.”

Brandon couldn’t imagine being so alone in the world and felt his heart go out to Daphne, too. These two were getting him all twisted up inside, but for some reason, he didn’t mind. It felt good to care about someone other than himself for a change. He rested his head against the back of the sofa. “You don’t have to be all alone, you know.”

Daphne glanced down at their joined hands. “Why are you?”

He hesitated for a second before he decided to be honest with her. “Because for most of my life I was in love with a woman I couldn’t have, and I made a lot of bad choices as a result.”

“That’s as good a reason as any, I suppose. Are you still in love with her?”

“She died ten years ago.”

“I guess we have more in common than I thought.”

“I didn’t have a child with her. In fact, I never had anything with her, so it’s not the same as what happened to you.”

“It’s still a loss.”

“What did you mean the other day when you said you might be leaving soon?”

“We move around a lot.”

“Why?”

The door slammed shut as she extricated her hand from his. “It’s getting late.”

Brandon stood up, regretting that he’d pushed her one step too far. “Send Mike down to paint when she gets home tomorrow.”

“Are you sure you don’t mind?”

“I don’t mind. I’m right downstairs if you ever need anything.”

“Thank you,” Daphne said, but the warmth he’d seen in her earlier was gone.

“Good-night.” Brandon went back downstairs with the odd feeling that he’d once again lost something he’d never really had.

Chapter 17, Day 70

Over the next month, Brandon’s days fell into a manageable routine. He began each morning with a long run and an AA meeting in Harwich, followed by coffee with Joe. Then it was back to the apartment building, where he worked until exhaustion forced him into bed. He’d finished his apartment and one other and was now hard at work on Mrs.
Oczkowski’s
place.

When he helped move her essentials into his apartment so he could work on hers, Mrs.
Oczkowski
urged him to “do it well, and do it fast.” She was what his mother would call a hot ticket.

Mike came to find him the minute she got home from morning kindergarten every day. Brandon usually had something to keep her busy for a couple of hours, and he marveled at her ability to fill that much time with nonstop chatter. She never, ever ran out of things she needed to tell him. He knew about all her friends at school, every detail of the morning kindergarten routine, and most of the tenants’ personal business.