The Enterprise officers ran into the spectator area. Mr. Homn was already there.
He was sanguinely eating popcorn, watching the "match." When he saw the others, he extended the bag and offered them some.
"No, thank you. Mrs. Troi!" called out Picard.
Q snapped back to his normal size and hurled headfirst into one of the glowing walls.
Lwaxana spun angrily towards Picard.
"Jean-Luc! You ruined my concentration!" Q vanished. Lwaxana vanished after him.
"Here we go again," said Picard.
Crew members were running everywhere, shouting in confusion. Great, horned beasts were charging down the hallway, bellowing their defiance, and barely two steps ahead of them was Q.
He dove right through a corridor wall, leaving the frustrated beasts behind.
He kept on going, passed through to the other side and stepped out into a corridor on the other side of the ship.
Lwaxana was waiting for him. She was clad in full, bristling body armor from ancient Betazed. She was wielding a long weapon that was hooked at one end and spiked at the other. The hooked end lashed out, grabbing Q by the leg and hurling him to the floor. She reversed it and slammed the spiked end down right where Q's chest had been, except he had already melted through the floor.
Lwaxana pushed back her visor.
"Damn," she muttered.
Q staggered down a corridor, his mind and body reeling.
He couldn't comprehend any of it. Lwaxana Troi was massacring him. He hadn't been able to mount any sort of offense at all. She just kept on him and on him.
Suddenly he saw her waiting for him at the end of the corridor.
He lashed out at her, energy leaping from his fingertips. Lwaxana stood there, weathering the barrage, her hands outstretched. She staggered slightly but otherwise showed no signs of difficulty.
"Give up!" cried out Q. "You can't beat me! I'm Q!" "You were Q!" shot back Lwaxana. "Now you're going to be an ex-Q." Q's body suddenly began to stiffen. He lost control over his arms, finding himself unable to move them. He tried to run, but his legs wouldn't budge, either. He looked down in horror and saw why--they had taken root. His fingers were becoming small branches. There was a cracking sound like wood splitting, and within seconds, Q had metamorphosized into a tree.
He tried everything he could do to move. He unleashed the full power of his mind, but it was as if something were hanging over it, dampening it. He couldn't counter any of the moves, couldn't focus his strength, couldn't.
He heard a sharp, wissing sound. His neck, although wood, was still capable of moving, and he managed to look up.
Lwaxana Troi was coming towards him, wielding a massive, glistening deelar, a Betazoid weapon that bore a remarkable resemblance to an axe. It glistened, and for extra effect, blood dripped from it. There was a satisfied grin on her face.
"No!" shrieked Q, almost surprised to see that his voice still worked.
"Now," said Lwaxana firmly. "Now we cut you down to size." "Mother!" came an alarmed shout.
Lwaxana didn't even glance behind her in response to her daughter's shout. "Not now, dear. Mother's chopping some wood." "Please don't do this, mother!" She grabbed her by the arm, being certain to keep her fingers clear of the deelar's blade. Several feet away, Q's branches trembled. "Enough! You've made your point! He knows you're angry." "He humiliated me! I can never have anyone's respect again." And now Picard was there, and he said, "That's not true, Lwaxana. You've earned all our respect!" "I, for one, would certainly not wish to have you angry with me," Worf informed her.
"He has to apologize," said Lwaxana.
"Q, apologize!" ordered Picard.
Q was silent.
"Q," warned Picard.
"She couldn't really hurt me," Q said uncertainly.
"Are you willing to bet life and limb on that?" Riker demanded.
"Forget it," said Lwaxana. "Stand aside, Riker." She swung the axe back, and it was clear that the first stroke was going to be in Q's nether regions.
"I'm sorry!" howled Q. "I'm sorry!
All right? I'm sorry I did it! It was reprehensible! It was hideous! I shouldn't have even contemplated it! I'll never think of it in the future! I don't know what I could have been thinking! I am a terrible and vile individual, not fit to exist in the same universe as the splendid Lwaxana Troi! There, are you happy?!" She paused, considering it.
"I don't think you mean it," she said, and swung the axe back once more.
But Picard put a firm hand on her shoulder and said, "Enough, Lwaxana. I mean it.
Enough." Slowly she lowered the axe, and then it vanished.
"I really would have done it, you know," she told him.
"Yes, we all know that," said Picard.
An instant later, Q transformed back into his normal state. He staggered and stumbled against a wall, confused and gasping.
Lwaxana strode up to him and he flinched.
"You hurt me," she said. "You hurt me in ways I didn't even think it was possible.
You're so disdainful of humanity. Of mortals.
You keep saying you're above our emotions, and hold them in such disdain. You know what I think?
I think you're not worthy of them. I think you're not good enough to feel love." Her voice was trembling. "You're just not good enough." And she turned on her heel and walked away.
Deanna started to follow her, but she heard a sharp, Leave me alone, Little One in her head, and she stayed where she was.
Q sat on the floor, trying to compose himself.
He looked up in irritation and said, "What are you sneering at, Worf?" "Nothing," said Worf with satisfaction. "I am sneering at a great big nothing." "You know, your insults are meaningless to me," said Q. "Everything you say is meaningless to me. But that woman--that... that damned woman!" His voice was shaking with fury. "She is the most aggravating, infuriating individual I've ever met!" He was getting to his feet, and his body was literally trembling with rage. As opposed to the cold arrogance with which Q usually cloaked himself, now he was clearly angry. "I cannot remember when I've met someone who has actually aroused in me a feeling of such total fury! It is truly staggering! I see her face in my mind, and I just want to grind it beneath my foot! This is truly amazing! I loathe her! I despise her!
It's not just that she so thoroughly beat me through means that I still cannot even guess. I was humiliated just as badly when I lost my powers, but I didn't feel anything like this... this mind-numbing feeling of bile in my mouth! I--" And Picard, the picture of calm, said serenely, "You will find, Q, that an extreme of one emotion usually indicates that an extreme of another emotion is present." "What are you blathering about?" demanded Q.
"You see, Q... those we love the most are also the most capable of driving us to complete distraction. Because we've left ourselves open and vulnerable, you see. In other words, it's quite possible that you do indeed feel love for her, which is why she is able to make you as angry as she does." "That's ridiculous. That's..." His face fell as he thought of it. "I'm... I'm certain that's ridiculous. That can't be. I couldn't actually.be in love. I'm a being with power far beyond yours. To be laid low by the pathetic emotion you call love, that would be..." "Very human," Riker said, turning the screws.
"Face it, Q," Picard told him.
"You've been hanging around humans too much.
Your system has not been able to build up proper immunities to us, and we're becoming contagious.
You're coming down with a terminal case of humanity." "Picard," said Q, with a bit of the old arrogance. "Get some hair. Your brain has caught cold." Andwitha burst of light and sound, he vanished.
"Good riddance," rumbled Worf.
"Oh, I don't know," said Picard slowly.
"I hate to admit it... but I'm starting to get used to him." "Captain, you're joking!" Riker said in horror.
Picard turned towards him. "Oh, of course I am, Number One." But he wasn't entirely sure that he was.
Lwaxana sat in her cabin totally alone, totally depressed. She stared into her mirror, taking a close look at herself.
How pathetic she was. How ridiculous.
Here she was, with the power of a goddess, and she couldn't even get herself to smile.
Her eyes brimmed with tears, and Lwaxana Troi began to cry. She put her hands to her face and sobbed deeply, caught up entirely in her own misery.
"Here," said a voice.
She looked up.
A slim, blond man was standing in front of her. He was wearing a simple green jumpsuit and was extending a handkerchief. "Here you go." She took it gratefully and blew her nose.
"I'm sorry, I didn't hear you come in.
Who are you?" "Q," he said.
She stared at him. "That isn't funny. I know what Q looks like. I'll carry that knowledge to the grave, or I would if I were ever going to die..." "Oh, you'll die, in your own time," he said.
"Trust me on this. I know he was Q. I'm Q too." "Q Two?" she said in confusion.
"Whatever," said Q Two. He looked at his hands in approval. "Nice to know it all still fits." "Let's assume for a moment I believe you," said Lwaxana. "What are you doing here?" He strolled around her quarters, picking up objects and examining them out of idle curiosity.
"We've been keeping an eye on Q, watching to make sure he doesn't use his powers in the same annoying way he did before." "You mean what he was saying before, about not bullying people..." "Oh, that was quite true," said Q Two. "But you see, instead of those same annoying ways, he's trying to find new annoying ways. Nothing that we could discipline him for, but nothing that we considered to have much redeeming social value. But when he tried to take the power he gave you back again, well, I thought I'd take the opportunity to teach him a lesson." "You helped me keep the power?" she said incredulously.
"Long enough for you to give Q a taste of his own medicine, yes. I must admit," he smiled, "you were very imaginative. I took lots of pictures. I can't wait to show them to the others in the Continuum... particularly that business with the paddles. Very imaginative. Worthy of the Q." "Thank you," she said, and she smiled. "It was rather clever, wasn't it." "Oh, extremely," he said pleasantly.
"And for Q's own good, really. Maybe he'll remember what it's like to be on the receiving end, for once." "I certainly made him think twice about treating people so badly." She actually started to grin, and then she laughed, a deep, throaty, lovely laugh. "He'll think long and hard about it, yes indeed." "Got to take the powers back now," said Q Two, and he snapped his fingers.
Lwaxana sagged slightly as she felt something disappear from within her, as if someone had turned off a light switch. "Ah well," she said sadly.
"I did so like the idea of being able to keep watch over Deanna..." "Sounds to me like you could easily have begun to smother her." "I suppose you're right. It's probably best this way. You seem very wise, and very capable." She regarded him thoughtfully. "And I must say, you are a rather attractive individual, you know." He put up a warning finger. "Don't even think it," he said, and vanished.
Lwaxana Troi shrugged. "Can't blame a girl for trying."
Q stood atop the Nistral home ship, watching the Enterprise from a safe distance. When Q Two appeared next to him, he didn't even bother to turn. "I should have known you were responsible." "You did it to yourself," remarked Q Two.
"He struck pretty close to home, didn't he." "Who?" "Picard. Of course, you now owe him for saving your life. I'd start trying to think of ways to make it up to him someday, if I were you." Q Two regarded him with tremendous amusement.
"She really did get to you, didn't she? Not just physically, which she needed my help for. I mean mentally." "Faw. She was nothing." Q Two hunkered down next to him. "You can't lie to me, Q. Maybe to them, maybe even to yourself, but not to me. You felt something for her." Q looked up at Q Two. "I can't have.
I'm beyond love." "Perhaps not. Perhaps no one is. Perhaps it's so powerful a force, and perhaps that's what Picard was trying to tell you." "And perhaps you talk too much." "Between you and me, Q. It'll go no further.
Not even to the Continuum." Q looked back at the Enterprise which, for some reason, seemed even more distant.
He sighed.
"She was magnificent, wasn't she?" "Yup," agreed Q Two.
"And she'd never want to see me again, even if I wanted to see her." "You said some pretty despicable things. I doubt she would." "Well, good," said Q, drawing himself up.
"That's the way it should be, then. She is, after all, only human." "Aren't we all," said Q Two.
