Standing Strong (43 page)

‘Thanks, I really appreciate it. I don't know what I'm going to do. But for one thing, I'm glad I came back. It's been good to see it's not just me who has issues with her. And she'll never change. I just have to manage our interactions as best I can, right, Jacqueline?'

‘Yes. Exactly.'

‘It's sad,' Lucy continued. ‘I love her because she's my mum, but I really don't like her very much.'

‘Hmm,' Damien agreed.

‘Well, they say you can choose your friends … I need a serious drink after Tornado Tina's visit,' Ethel declared. ‘Poor James will be wondering if we're ever going to turn up.'

‘I'm really proud of the way you stood up to your mother,' Jacqueline said quietly.

‘Thanks. I can't believe how clueless I've been for so long. She's well and truly played me over the years,' he said, shaking his head.

‘Don't be too hard on yourself. Narcissists are prime manipulators.'

‘Oh well, better late than never, I guess. And she won't be bothering me much if she's six hundred kilometres away. And I'll have you to steer me right. She can do her worst, as long as I have you. Ah, Jacqueline, it's been a great day,' he said with a contented sigh.

‘The best,' she said, pulling him that bit closer to her.

Chapter Thirty-nine

Jacqueline wished she and Damien could just go across the road to her cottage and make up for what they'd missed out on these past few weeks. Oh, to be alone with him. She didn't feel like being sociable, bumping into clients, smiling and nodding politely, pretending she didn't know any of their private business. She was starting to feel very weary now all the tension she'd been holding onto had been released. She felt as if she could sleep for a week, given the chance. But James was waiting for them and Ethel was keen to go – it was the least she could do after all her friend had done for her, not to mention all the meals she'd cooked for Jacqueline and her parents. She really was a very special person and Jacqueline was so lucky to have her to call her best friend. What a rollercoaster her life had been since she moved to Wattle Creek. At least she could look forward to good times ahead.

‘Right, all ready to go?' Ethel said as she pulled her front door shut.

Damien, Lucy and Jacqueline murmured their agreement. Jacqueline was pleased she wasn't the only one feeling a little unenthusiastic.

‘Don't worry, you two, you'll get to be alone together soon. I know you've got a lot of catching up to do.' Ethel's tone caused Jacqueline to blush. Oh, yes, the whole town would most likely know what she and Damien would be doing later, though she was fast running out of steam. She'd be asleep before nine o'clock, the rate she was going.

Ethel and Lucy strode off ahead while Damien and Jacqueline ambled along behind, arm in arm. They were mostly silent, no words necessary for either of them.

‘No matter how close I am, it still doesn't feel close enough,' Damien said at one point, taking the words right out of Jacqueline's mind. ‘God, I've missed you – us,' he added with a long sigh.

‘Me too. I can't believe it's actually over. I know it's only been days – a couple of weeks – but it feels like we haven't seen each other for months.' She squeezed his arm.

‘Jacqueline, I'm really sorry for being so hard on you – for drawing such a deep line in the sand. I just …'

‘Damien, I understand. I really do. And for the record, I love and respect you all the more for it,' she said and then gulped as intense emotion gripped her. She was shocked at the force of what she was feeling. She almost gasped, and reached out to gain support from the brick fence they were passing. She felt like sitting down and having a long, hard weep. Everything still felt so raw, so new.

Damien stopped and sat on the wall and pulled her into him. They faced each other, smiling. Damien's smile was warm, but as Jacqueline stared at him, a shot of fear caught her heart that the smile could have been one of sadness just as easily as contentment or happiness. He kissed her on the nose and then held her a little away from him.

‘I love you so much, Jacqueline Havelock. Marry me. Not this year and maybe not next, but promise that when I've got everything sorted and can provide for us, you'll marry me.'

‘And I love you too. So, so much.'

‘So …?'

‘Yes. Oh Damien, yes!' She threw her arms around his neck and hugged him. And then the tightness in her chest erupted and she cried, great racking sobs rushing from her in a torrent. He held her to him, his face buried in her hair.

‘It's over now, let it all out,' he whispered while stroking her hair with one hand and rubbing her back with the other.

A moment later Jacqueline felt his shoulders begin to shake and then tears dampen her neck. Gradually all the pent-up emotion from the stress and uncertainty of the past few weeks left her, draining to her feet and into the ground. She didn't want to let Damien go. She didn't want him to let her go. He was her rock. Together they could do whatever they needed, whatever they wanted to do.

She felt him gently take her by the arms and ease her from him. He studied her face for a moment before cupping it in his hands and kissing her passionately. She responded, and it became a kiss the likes of which Jacqueline had never known, had never thought existed. They'd kissed before, and it had been wonderful, but it had nothing on this. Never would she have thought it possible to feel your soul actually join with another's at a particular point in time. But if asked to describe what she'd just experienced, that was what she'd say. As naff and clichéd as it sounded, she really did think they – and their pact – had been sealed with that kiss. It was such a powerful thing, perhaps even more intimate than making slow, sensual love. A little buzz went through her as she thought of what still lay in store for them. If kissing could do this to her, well …

They eventually broke away and half-sat, half-stood against the low wall, gazing into each other's eyes.

‘Come on, you two, enough canoodling,' Ethel called. They looked up, startled, to find Ethel and Lucy waiting for them at the corner about a hundred metres away.

‘Oops, sprung,' Damien said, grinning, took Jacqueline's hand and resumed their walk. Jacqueline beamed and felt like swinging her arms and skipping. But she restrained herself to just a quiet, ‘
Wow!
'

It turned out to be not at all the quiet meal and early night she'd been hoping for. The hotel dining room slowly filled up and Jacqueline was stunned when Doctor and Nancy Squire arrived and sat down beside her. From Ethel's greeting, it was clear she'd invited them. That was nice.

Jacqueline was even more surprised when people started coming over to her and Damien in the corner and uttering congratulations and smiling at them approvingly, while saying what good news it was. She nodded and thanked them very much while hoping her confusion didn't show. How could anyone possibly know of their engagement when it had happened less than an hour ago and they hadn't told a soul? Even Ethel's radar wasn't that good!

But Damien was strangely silent beside her. Did he think they weren't talking to him? And then some words she'd recently read came back to her slowly and it all started to make a little more sense. In the board's letter to Doctor Squire they'd mentioned something about the community. Had the townspeople known of her plight? How embarrassing. She frowned a little, unsure if she was pleased or deeply concerned. She felt herself go pale.

Jacqueline looked down, feeling a hand on hers. Doctor Squire squeezed gently.

‘Don't worry, my dear, no one knows why they were asked to provide letters and sign a petition of support. Your secret is safe.'

Jacqueline looked up at him and almost cried again. He was looking at her so kindly.

‘Thank you. Thank you so much for everything. I won't let you down,' she said, willing the tears to stay unshed.

‘I know you won't,' he said, and patted her hand before removing his to resume eating.

The rest of the evening passed in a bit of blur for Jacqueline. At times it was noisy, verging on raucous, and often she felt herself fading out and her attention leaving the dining room and returning to the doctor's words.
People wrote letters in support of me, signed petitions, even though I'm new and they're not too sure about seeking help or talking to an outsider?
She felt warmth and comfort flow through her. It didn't matter where she lived – hell, she'd live in a tent if she had to to be with Damien – what mattered was the people around you, the support. She'd seen this banding together of communities, but to be the cause, to be at the centre of it, well, this was something else entirely. Feeling incredibly honoured, Jacqueline thought she could now see why farmers and their families battled the elements, struggled through floods and droughts and low wool, lamb and grain prices year after year. She knew they weren't quick to embrace newcomers, yet they'd embraced her. She was hit with another wave of emotion, which she only just managed to swallow down in time. She was so grateful to everyone, especially Doctor Squire for taking a chance and bringing her to Wattle Creek.

This was home, she felt that with every fibre of her being.

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Leap of Faith

by

Fiona McCallum

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Chapter One

Jessica warmed Prince up just behind the starting line. She'd studied the plan well and walked the cross-country course twice today and three times the day before. She had all the twists and turns and best places to steer Prince into the fences memorised. He wasn't as light and quick on his feet as most eventers, so if she had any chance of capitalising on her good dressage score, she'd have to keep him to a tight line. Thankfully the course was dry – a damp, slippery track made for a treacherous, slower round.

Her first Adelaide International Horse Trials.
God, I'm nervous
, she thought,
a lot more than usual
. Her stomach was churning, trying to find food she hadn't eaten. Nothing new: she never ate until after the cross-country round. Her husband, Steve, often wondered why she put herself through all this. How much fun was it if she almost made herself sick with nerves every time? Fair comment, she reckoned. It wasn't really about having fun, but about the drive to be the best you and your horse could be. For Jessica, there was no better feeling than winning. Well, that and making her father proud. She didn't like to admit it, but she was fully aware that much of what she'd done in her life and what continued to push her was all about gaining her hard-taskmaster father's approval.

And today her nervousness was exacerbated by Jeff Collins' absence. He'd been her coach as well as her father and she hadn't realised it would be this hard to go on without him. This was a huge event, so much bigger and more important than any of the others she did throughout the year – had ever done, actually. In the past few weeks since her father had passed, she'd begun to question if she was losing her edge, her guts and her determination to tackle the fences, and the will to keep up with the high standards necessary to succeed. For the first time, she hadn't had him beside her walking the course, discussing the options and choosing the best one, pointing out overhanging tree limbs, where she could cut corners, where it wasn't safe to, etc. Two knowledgeable heads were always better than one.

Yesterday, on her first walk around, she'd been sad to be doing it alone. She'd nodded to other competitors she knew, but they all tended to walk the rounds in concentrated silence. And then her feelings had turned to guilt as she'd contemplated how much she actually quite liked the silence and being able to carefully consider the many aspects to the round without her father muttering and imposing his views on her or demanding to know her every move, over and over.