Standing By: A Knight's Tale #2 (23 page)

“What’s wrong with you?” Though he’s trying to give me that free spirited smile, his jaw muscles are tense; his neck and shoulders knotted into cords. “Everything okay?”

“Better.” He rubs the heel of his palm against his chest. “You fucking scared me.” He takes a step forward and places my chin between his thumb and index finger. “I found the knife on the floor with blood and—” He releases my chin, glides his hands over my arms to wrists, then circles them with his long fingers and lifts them. There are no scars there. The only part of my body I touch is my belly because no one can see it. He kisses my wrists. “Tell me what’s going on whenever you’re ready and always remember this;
I’m here, Hayl, you’re not alone
.”

“I can’t keep them happy. That is part of the reason why I’ve felt alone for so long. Everything I do ends up being wrong, they judge me, then turn their back on me. They don’t care about me, getting to know me or… I don’t know. Maybe we shouldn’t do this, keep tangling into each other’s lives.”

“Oh, sweetheart, you’re deep inside my territory already,” Mitch says with an easy smile. “There’s no way out, you’re right inside the Maze of Mitchel Knight, just like I think I’m making my way inside the Maze of Hays…Hays Maze, there, found another. Now let’s go and check on Liam, he has this group of ladies who keep coming in for more sugar just to flirt with him.”

“What’s so great about it?” I ask.

“He’s complaining about the attention he’s getting from your customers, such as Mrs. Coopers.” Mitch answers mischievously. “He’s not very fond of being called
young man
or having a woman talk about herself and her family for long periods of time.”

“I missed your twisted sense of humor,” I confess. He grabs me by the waist and pulls me toward him, taking my mouth with a hungry kiss. Definitely, we need to DTR; this has to stop but being engulfed by the passion of his touch I lose myself and forget the reason why we shouldn’t kiss like this.

*

“We should hire
my supplier,” Mitch suggests as we’re inside the industrial pantry taking inventory. “Their produce is always fresh, the quality of their products is better than your current supplier. Due to the volume I handle they give me a preferred price.”

“You should, Hay-Bear,” Parker agrees as he enters the pantry to place the dry ingredients back in their place. He and Liam are helping us clean the bakery. We let the other employees leave early. “You’ll cut your operational cost.”

“Are they the ones who supplied you with today’s produce?” A few minutes ago, while we were inside the walk-in refrigerator, I did notice my berries look fresher.

“Yes, I cut corners while you were gone and I have their number on speed dial,” He’s writing as he speaks. “That’s where I found the peaches you have been searching for.”

I had mentioned that peach season is approaching and that it’s one of my favorite summer fruits.

“The only thing you should worry about is what you’ll be making for me. Something sweet with a vanilla taste… my favorite.”

“Sugary vanilla?”

“With a hint of peach.” He grins and his green eyes darken making every cell in my body go on red alert.

I don’t say more and wonder why that exchange has my heart throbbing with a pulsating ache in my lower belly.

“I think that’s all we need.”

I rush outside the pantry and seek the protection of my brother’s presence. There is no way I’ll act on my need in front of him.

Coward,
Mitch mouths when he joins the vague conversation Parker, and Liam are having about the myth of the eternal rainy days in Seattle while they waited for us to finish.

“Dinner at your place, Hayl?” Parker changes his attention towards me.

“As long as Mitch is cooking unless you want take-out. I can order like a pro.”

Mitch agrees and we all head outside, closing the door behind us.

“You can run, but you can’t hide,” Mitch whispers, his warm breath makes my entire body shiver. “I’m about to close the deal little mouse, very soon.” He kisses the back of my neck and takes my hand as we walk home.

Mitch

“T
his is a
shitty arrangement,” I clench my fists as Liam’s mocking tone continues to taunt me, the grocery bag I carry is saving his ass. “No, the question is, why are you still playing along? Jake and Emma swear it’s real, but I have five hundred on the line saying you fucked up and owe Emma eternal slavery. This isn’t you; Hayley is full of drama and you’re a simple guy. At least you should sleep with her.”

I don’t know if he’s fishing for information or if I let something out for him to realize the truth. “Fuck off, Liam,”

“You two haven’t done it, Mitch,” Liam says.

Now I understand why Jake flares when we mention his sex life. In my defense, he flaunts it in our faces while I keep mine where it belongs, private.

“The sexual tension between the two of you is thicker than your stubbornness; I can see the predatory eyes you give her. You touch her like your girlfriend, not the girl you’re living with—married to.”

“That’s my business, Liam. Hayley isn’t like every other hookup I had in my life; she’s Hayley and things will happen if and only when she’s ready.”

“That’s what I don’t get,” he points at my face. “Each time you look at her, you not only salivate in lust, you look at her as if there’s no one else in the entire planet and whatever it is going on between the two of you is worse than Jake’s and Emma’s fuck buddies shit. May I remind you how things almost ended between them?”

“They didn’t communicate their feelings; they banged each other without talking.” I do remember.

“They had a great relationship, I was there, Mitch,” his voice is hard. “Then one day out of nowhere Emma decided my brother wasn’t enough for her because she was afraid, same reason why he let her go. What are you afraid of, Mitch? I heard you and Parker; Hayley has family issues, hell I met the mother. However, Hayley is great. I definitely need to fix my schedule in order to make sure I’m here when the show begins.”

“What show?” He’s making no sense.

“I want to see you crying for the girl,” he says as we reach the seventh floor of the building where I live.

“Go to hell.” I respond and open the door of our apartment. “This conversation is over.”

“What are we making?” Hayley takes the paper bag I’m holding and moves toward the kitchen. “The best chicken soup in the world or the best mac-n-cheese I’ve ever tasted in my entire life?”

“Please tell me you eat meat, Hayley,” Liam’s desperate voice makes me chuckle, what with Emma’s pescatarian diet. “I mean right now you’re my favorite because you don’t eat fish, that’s a relief. However, we might be in trouble—”

“I like my steak medium; medium-rare,” she answers and frowns at me. “You two are very strange people, have I mentioned that before? Now let’s get to work. I want to go to bed early. Tomorrow I have a long day ahead of me. Liam, will you be my friendly customer representative again?”

“Of course, sweetheart.” He raises an eyebrow in amused contempt. “As long as you feed me those muffins of yours.”

“Li, careful,” I warn him.

*

Parker, Liam and
I have been helping Hayley for the past week and a half. Liam and Hayley hit it off; they understand each other pretty well and are able to connect as friends. My brother hates the kitchen, yet for Hayley he participated in the baking process and even prepared a few meals with us. Right now, he’s helping her setup a new web page.

“Since you’re selling
Heavenly Wear
online,” Liam continues, “why not sell cupcakes nationwide?”

“I’ll have to do some research,” Hayley writes that down on her list. “Packaging, including rules, some shipping companies have guidelines regarding perishables.”

“Have you thought about expanding the bakery into a coffee shop?” I press the matter again.

“Give it a few months,” Liam makes some annotations, before glancing my way. “I’m not sure if this is the right spot for a coffee shop. My team should find you the best location, if this is it, then you expand; if not, leave this as a bakery and open the coffee shop.”

I shared with them the numbers I came up with if we decide to expand and Hayley suggested some other products for
Heavenly Wear
: baseball hats, oven mitts and perhaps mugs.

“I have to go to the office,” Liam rises from his seat, bending down to kiss Hayley on the cheek. “I’m heading back to London but everything is ready, sweetheart.” Then he lifts his gaze and points his index finger to me. “This asshole taught me a lot of what I know, don’t hesitate to use him.”

He leaves shutting the door behind his exit. Hayley stands up, and she whirls around the room not able to contain her excitement.

“You look happy, Hay-Bear.” Her eyes shine.

“Thrilled but scared.” She bounces on her feet. “What If everything collapses? We’re still on a trial basis and—”

“Trial?” I chuckle, where did she get that idea, the contract? “What’s there to try? You feed me your sweets on a daily basis. I have to run for at least an extra hour every day because of you. You think I’ll let anyone feed me something I don’t love.” Hayley shakes her head, heads to the kitchen, opens the cupboard and pulls out a towel busying herself with cleaning the already clean counter—a nervous tic I discovered when we started living together. “Do you really think I’ll let go of someone I care about? You’re stuck with me. Talk about being stuck with each other, can I ask you something?”

She nods and I place my hand on top of the towel she’s using in order to get her attention, then cup her chin with the other hand.

“Can you tell me about the scars?” I use my free hand to touch her belly. It hurts me when I see them or feel them beneath my fingers while holding her at night. It pains me to know she’s harming herself, and I want to know what I can do to help her. “Why do you need to do it?”

Something flashes through her eyes; I’m afraid I’ve stepped into forbidden territory. That she isn’t ready for me to ask those kind of questions, and she’ll immediately withdraw from me.

“To ease the pain, the pressure of trying to be perfect and never achieving it,” Hayley stares at her hands.

Her arms curl around her belly. I remove her arms, pull the hem of the white t-shirt she’s wearing and lower the waistband of her shorts some. Then I bend and kiss the scars one by one.

“When I open the skin, I feel as everything brewing inside is released. The rush of the moment makes me forget that I’m alone, that one single slash takes away their words, their actions.” She looks down at me, her eyes glitter with the tears she holds at bay. “It eases the pain but then becomes an addiction. The more you do it, the more you need it. It doesn’t make sense, does it?”

“It does, Hays,” I rise up, put my arm around her and give her a side hug. “We all find outlets and ways to cope; you found that one that kept you going. Now, I propose we do an intensive search for things that’ll keep you off the edge—without using sharp edges.”

“I haven’t done anything since… that day,” she takes her gaze to the floor and crooks her head to avoid my eyes. “There are moments I still need reassurance but I promised myself that I won’t touch my skin like that again.”

“I’ll repeat it, so it’s clear,” I gently move her face with my fingers and our gazes lock. “You have me, baby, I’m here to catch you during those moments when you feel you’re about to fall.”

“I’m scared,” her lips tremble and her eyes radiate a feeling I’ve never seen, one I can’t explain. A feeling that soothes me and makes me want to protect her forever.

I bend down pressing my lips to hers, then gently cover her mouth, pouring every single drop of myself into this kiss; wanting to tell her with this single kiss that she owns me.

Hayley

“F
ind your balance,
keep your feet grounded,” the yoga instructor repeats as I keep collapsing between poses. I’m gracefully falling down each time she orders us to go from
dancers pose
to
standing stick
. “Keep breathing.”