Stadium of Lights: A Second Chance Sports Romance (12 page)

A
s soon as
we got to Pittsburgh, the team got on a bus and went straight to the stadium to practice. Coach Cramer didn’t want us to even go to the hotel first, so determined to whip us into shape after the bye week and make sure we were ready to take on the Steelers. We would check in at the hotel afterward.

I was glad to get off the plane, having felt Abby’s eyes boring holes into the back of my head all the way from the airport. What her problem was, I had no idea. She hadn’t spoken to me in over a week. We’d had a few practices as usual, but she hadn’t hung around the field to watch like she normally did. I wondered why. Not like she would tell me.

I knew I was an asshole to her before the Kansas City game, and she was a bitch right back. This was different, though. The way she’d glared at me before getting on the plane. The way she had glared whenever I turned around to talk to anybody—even though she’d worn big sunglasses the entire flight, I had felt those green eyes on me. That wasn’t just anger with me after what I’d said. She was deep-down pissed, and I had no idea what I had done to make her that way. I almost wished she would tell me off just so I’d know.

The practice was pretty routine, and I was glad to feel my shoulder loosening up the more I used it. It must have been overuse and strain before. Nothing serious. I had known it, hadn’t I? But Abby had wanted me to sit it out.

And it killed you, didn’t it? The whole damned game. You felt it pulling, and you wondered how much more you could stand.
I couldn’t tell her at the time, but it was the truth. My conscience wouldn’t let me lie to myself about it. I owed her an apology, but I didn’t know how to approach her when she looked like she wanted to kill me. It had been a long week and a half without her. I couldn’t pretend it didn’t bother me how much I missed her when she wasn’t around, either.

It was a relief to leave the stadium and go to the hotel. I was tired and just wanted to relax for a while before we had a real, in-depth workout and practice the next day. Pittsburgh would be a tough game, so we’d work hard to prepare. No way we could let the offense run all over us the way we had back in Denver.

Since we were spending much of the week in Pittsburgh, most of us had rented cars to get us around town. We stopped off at the rental place on the way back to the hotel so those of us who had a car could pick it up. I noticed Abby there, waiting in line for hers. I hoped to maybe corner her in line and get her to talk to me—she couldn’t kill me if we were in public—but Chad was too fast for me. He wasn’t going to give up on her. It bothered me more than I wanted to admit.

Chad’s attention to Abby wasn’t the only surprise that trip. When I got to my room, I had expected Garrett to be there. We usually shared a room on road trips. Only my luggage was there when I arrived. I texted him, and minutes later he knocked at the door to my room.

“What’s up with you not sharing a room on this trip?” I asked when I let him in. “I thought we were supposed to stay together.”

He grinned, sitting on one of the room’s two beds. “Yeah, but Skylar’s coming, so I got a room for the two of us, instead.”

“Oh, really? Why?” I knew why—there was only one reason why she ever followed him to an away game.

“I’m sorta in the doghouse with her right now,” he admitted. “So she’s flying in tomorrow. She doesn’t wanna leave me alone for too many days in a row.”

“What’d you do this time?” I could hardly pay attention. I had my own problems.

“I went home after the Kansas City game, and she was looking good like she always does. So I started things up with her, you know, just fooling around.”

“Okay …” Like I wanted to hear about his and Skylar’s sex life.

“And stupid me didn’t take a shower before that. I should have taken a shower.” He shook his head.

“You took one after the game, right?”

“Yeah, but that wasn’t all I did before I went home.” He shot me a sheepish grin.

“You mean that wasn’t who you did?” I smirked.

“Yeah. She kinda left lipstick all over my chest.” He shrugged like it was something that could happen to anybody.

“Jesus, dude. That’s amateur-level shit.”

“I know, I know. But I was alone in there, finishing up getting ready to leave, and she came in looking all sexy. We started talking, and you know how it goes.”

“Who was this, anyway? I hope she was worth it.”

He smirked. “You ought to know. Layla.”

“Oh, Layla.” I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, she’s okay, but Skylar’s worth ten of her.”

“This is coming from you? The one who keeps track of how many cheerleaders we fuck? Are you feeling okay?”

I laughed it off. He was right, that didn’t sound like me at all. “So she’s got you on a short leash now. You deserve it for being so stupid. Leaving lipstick on your chest. Tell me it wasn’t on your dick, too.” He looked away, so I knew it was. I slapped him on the back.

“There was one weird thing,” he said, looking up at me from the bed.

“What?”

“She wore your jersey the whole time.”

“My jersey? The one I had just played in?” I shuddered to think, grimacing.

“No, no, the practice jersey that was in your locker. I don’t know why. It was like a game, almost. She was all cute and playful about it, and when she took off her skirt …”

“You don’t have to tell me anymore,” I said, holding my hands up. The girl was obsessed or something. “So you had to look at my number the whole time you guys fucked? Nice. I hope that was fun for you.” I laughed at him, and he only shook his head and got off the bed.

“I better get back to the room. She’s gonna call soon.” I knew the routine with him and Skylar. She would make his life a living hell for a little while, but eventually she would forgive him—probably after he bought her something expensive.

* * *

W
hen Garrett finally left
, I sat on the bed where he had just been. Something about his story teased at the corner of my brain. Layla. My jersey. Why did that all sound so weirdly familiar? What was it that she said to me earlier?

I’m surprised to see you wearing that jersey. I thought one of the cheerleaders took it after the last game.

My eyes flew open wide, my jaw fell. It had seemed like such a strange, off-the-wall thing to say at the time that I’d brushed it off. I had no idea what she meant by it. A cheerleader with my jersey? But once Garrett told me about Layla wearing it … and how they’d had sex in the locker room after the game …

It all made sense. She must have seen them—she always stayed late after games, didn’t she? Maybe she was still there, and she had caught sight of Layla in the jersey and thought she was with me. It didn’t make any sense. Why didn’t she come to me if that was what had happened? Still, it was the only thing that made sense. It would explain the comments about Layla, the weird thing she said about my jersey. And how cold she had been.

The coldness wasn’t just because she thought I was with Layla, of course. I couldn’t lie to myself. Part of it was my fault. I shouldn’t have been such a prick to her before the Kansas City game. She was right—I should have sat it out. It wouldn’t have killed me to let Mo play. Instead, we would have lost the game if it weren’t for the defense stepping up. She was right. I was never good at admitting other people were right until it was too late.

I had to find her. She must have checked in by then, must have been settled. I called the front desk to ask them to connect me to her room, and I sat on the edge of the bed as I listened to the phone ring and ring. I pulled out my cell phone to text her. Where are you? I didn’t expect a reply. I wasn’t deluded. She was still pissed. At least I finally understood why.

I went down to the lobby to ask if anybody had seen her, but none of them knew who I was talking about. I asked the valet if her rental car was still there, but they only handed out tickets. They didn’t know who was who. I wanted to strangle somebody. None of them could help me.

The restaurant. I knew I was hungry, so maybe she was, too. It was my last hope unless I planned to sit in front of her door and wait for her to come back from wherever she had gone. I hurried through the lobby, full of people getting ready for a night on the town. If I played my cards right, that could be us in just a little while. If I could just get her to forgive me, to understand what had happened and how sorry I was for talking to her the way I had.

When I got to the restaurant, I stood in the doorway and looked around the dimly-lit, quiet room. It was a little late in the day for dinner, so a lot of the dining room was empty. But the bar was busy. I looked in that direction, scanning the room from a distance.

I caught a glimpse of a familiar red head, and I breathed a sigh of relief. She was there. I could talk it out with her.

Then, a blonde head. I knew that head. I knew that laugh, and I heard it along with hers.

Chad. What the hell was she doing with Chad? I saw red, wanting to rip his throat out. I had wanted to for a while, hadn’t I? Ever since I first saw him with her. He had no right to be with her.

I got closer, saw the little black dress she wore. She was dressed up like they had made plans to be together. Was it a date? He touched her leg. Oh, hell no.

All thoughts of explaining the thing with Layla went out the window as jealousy overtook me and I stormed over to where they sat.

“
H
ow do you like Pittsburgh
?” Chad asked, leaning in a little.

I giggled. “It looks like the inside of a hotel bar right now.”

He laughed, touching my leg. “We could get out of here, you know. Really see the town. It’s a great place—I grew up not far from here.”

“Oh, really?” His touch made my heart flutter a little.

“Yeah, in a coal town a little further north. The middle of nowhere. This was the big city to us back then. I guess it still kinda is—I’m just a small-town boy.”

“Bullshit,” I smirked, waving him off. “I’ve seen the kind of house you live in down in Miami. Nothing small-town about it, but nice try.”

He laughed again. “You’re a firecracker sometimes.”

“Sometimes? Try all the time.” I winked, trying to be cute, but it probably came off kind of weird and awkward. I would never be great at flirting. Maybe because it all felt sort of flat for me, even with the alcohol buzzing in my system. I was pretending to like Chad a lot more than I really did, mostly because I wanted to get back at that stupid son of a bitch I used to think I loved. Or maybe I was the stupid one for thinking it. Either way, one of us was stupid.

“It takes a special kind of man to understand a woman like you,” he murmured, touching my hair with a gentle hand. “But I do.”

“So you’re special?” I teased.

“I’ve never gotten any complaints.” He winked, and with that wink came a promise. I knew what he wanted, what he had wanted since the first game of the season. Max had stopped him then. I wouldn’t let that happen again. I deserved to be happy and wanted. If Chad wanted me, why shouldn’t I let him have me for the night?

I leaned closer to him, breathing in the scent of his woodsy cologne, giggling as his hand caressed my thigh and his breath fell warm on my neck. Then, in an instance, everything changed.

“What the hell are you doing here?” I looked up to find Max glaring down at the two of us.

“Um, we’re here for the same reason you’re here, buddy.” Chad chuckled, trying to play it off. But I knew what Max meant. Chad knew it, too.

“What are you two doing together?” He glared at me, brutal accusation in his eyes.

“That’s none of your business,” I said, doing my best to stay calm. We were attracting unwanted attention as it was. “You’re acting like a spoiled child, so please, leave us alone. Go off and find somebody else, okay?” I turned my attention back to Chad, who seemed more than eager to have it. For once, someone wanted to be with me. Chad was interested in me, wanted to know all about me. He wouldn’t use me and throw me away like Max had.

“You think he wants you?” Max laughed bitterly, standing there in front of us with his arms crossed. “Think again. He wants to fuck you tonight, and that’s it.”

“You’re outta line, man.” Chad stood, and the two of them faced off. They were around the same size. Just about eye-to-eye. My heart took off at a gallop. I wasn’t sure if the excitement was from knowing they would fight, or knowing they would fight over me. Maybe a little bit of both.

“Go somewhere else and let us settle this, okay? You know she’s not like one of the other women,” Max said.

“Where do you get off?” Chad asked. “You strut around like you own the team, like what you say goes. And for the most part. We’re all happy to let you think that because you help us win games. But when we’re off the field, I have to draw the line. What’s happening here is none of your fucking business.”

“Guys, please …” I might as well have been talking to myself. I stood, a little shaky on my feet, and tried to pry them apart. It was the most useless gesture I’d ever wasted time on. “We’re going to start attracting even more attention. Can you please let this go?”

“Not until he admits why he’s here with you,” Max muttered. “Admit it.”

“Would you let it go, man? She doesn’t belong to you. She’s not yours. You don’t get to decide who she’s with.”

“He’s right,” I said, getting Max’s attention. I was so mad at him, I didn’t know what to do. He was the most arrogant, self-centered, egotistical person I’d ever met in my life and I was at the end of my rope with his attitude. “You should mind your own business, Max.”

He turned to me, confusion on his face. How he had the right to be confused, I would never understand. “What?”

“I mean it. Get out of here and let me live
my
life.” I did the best I could to speak with dignity, to be truthful and forthcoming. I was a grown woman, not the little kid he used to know. I couldn’t keep playing a role I didn’t want to play anymore. I was done playing his games, getting my hopes up to only feel a fool afterwards.

“So, what then? You don’t want me anymore? And you go off with him?” He pointed at Chad, who was still standing right in front of him.

“Why not? You can go around screwing cheerleaders whenever you want to, so why can’t I spend time with who I want to?”

His face contorted with rage. “So that’s why you were so upset. I knew it. That wasn’t even me—I didn’t know it happened until tonight. It was Garrett with her, not me.”

“Oh, I get it now.” Chad took a step back, hands on hips. He looked from one of us to the other. “I was pretty stupid not to see this already. So the two of you, huh? And that’s why you’re so fucking bent outta shape.”

There was too much going on in my head to make heads or tails of anything. It had been Garrett with Layla? Why was she wearing Max’s jersey? It didn’t matter because Max didn’t respect me. It was as simple as that.

“No, Chad. It’s not like that. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about.” I glared at Max. “Let this go, Max. Now. Because you don’t want me to remind you of how things
really
went.”

“Oh, you wanna remind me?” He cocked his head to the side. “How, then? How did they go?”

“I swear, Max. You want to leave this alone.” I turned to the bar, picked up what was left of my drink and gulped it down. If he wanted a fight, I was more than willing to give him one.

“No, really. Tell me how things happened between us.”

“Fine. I was never good enough for you. Not when we were young, not now. Not ever. Sure, it was all right to be friends with me, because you knew I adored you. You knew I would do anything for you. And it made you feel good, didn’t it? It stroked your ego. You felt like a big man when I followed you around like a puppy dog.”

“That’s not true,” he said. I saw him glance at Chad out of the corner of his eye, nervous. Like he was embarrassed all of a sudden. I was glad he was because he deserved to be. He was the one who had started the fight.

“But I wasn’t good enough for anything else, right? And whenever somebody better came along, you would forget I existed. Because you knew I was there when you needed me again. I would always be there. And you used me, just like you’re using me again. As long as there’s nobody else around and nobody else needs to know, I’m okay to be with.”

“I never used you.”

“Yes, you did. It made you feel good about yourself. And you didn’t even have to try, that was the best part, wasn’t it? You didn’t have to be anybody else but yourself. You didn’t have to pretend to be the big man you knew you weren’t.”

“Enough!” He turned and stormed out of the bar, but I wouldn’t let him get away that easy.

“You started this, and you’re not man enough to finish it. Why am I not surprised?” I followed him down the hall, calling after him. He finally turned around in the lobby, glaring at me.

“Watch what you say.”

“You watch what you say! You’re fucking pathetic. I wasn’t good enough, but nobody else can have me. Isn’t that it? Why don’t you just man up and admit it, Max? You’re a little boy. That’s all you’ve ever been. And you can’t stand the idea of another man playing with your toys!” I didn’t care who was watching or listening. I couldn’t pay attention to them. I could only see him. I hoped I did shame him in front of everybody in that place—everybody in the world, even. He deserved it. I wasn’t good enough for him, but I wasn’t good enough to be happy, either.

“Shut your mouth! Just stop talking. You’re drunk,” he spat.

“Yeah, I am. I was having fun, Max. For once, I was having a good time. Poor plain little Abby, always good enough for a fuck but never good enough for anything else. Right? You can’t handle the thought of another man wanting me—me, regular old me. Maybe there’s a man out there who isn’t such a pussy that he can admit his feelings and know when he has a good thing right in front of him. You could never do that, could you? You’re so blind, you don’t see what’s right in front of you.”

“Shut up.” It was all he could say. He was that pathetic.

I laughed. “You know I’m right. You just wanted to string me along. Did you think I would wait forever, while you fucked other women?”

“Excuse me, miss.” One of the hotel’s employees approached. “I have to ask that you keep your voice down and watch your language for the sake of other guests.”

I turned to the little man with the thin mustache. He seemed to shrink a little under my glare. That was enough to calm me, at least a little. “I’m sorry.”

“Thank you.” But he didn’t walk away. Max took me by the arm, then, dragging me into a restroom. He nearly flung me into the otherwise empty room. There wasn’t much space in there—it was about the size of a large closet. We had no choice but to stand there, facing each other. I couldn’t get around him, his large frame blocking the door.

“You wanna talk? Let’s talk.” He planted his feet like he was getting ready for battle. “Maybe I got you away from Chad because I know what a user he is. I know all he wants from you is a quick fuck.”

I laughed. “Maybe that was all I wanted from him! Did you ever think that? Women can be that way, too. We don’t need a damned commitment every time a man sticks his dick in us.”

“Really? Because it seemed like you wanted a commitment from me.”

“Bullshit.”

“No, it’s not. You wanted me to change for you, to commit to you. You wanted to be the only woman in my life. And I had to be on a leash, and listen to everything you said because you thought you owned me.”

“I never said that. Not once. You’re making that shit up.”

“Am I?” His eyes searched mine. “Tell me that’s not what you truly wanted.”

I wanted to, but I couldn’t. “Even if it was, I never once put that on you. I didn’t make it your problem. And you know why? Because I was too fucking stupid to walk away. I would have done anything to be close to you, just to be with you. How pathetic am I? Still in love with you, after all this time.”

I gasped when the words came out. I didn’t mean for them to. His eyes went wide as he took a half-step away from me.

“You’re what?”

I glared, defiant. “I was in love with you,” I said, recovering. “But I got over that mistake. It was a waste of time, a waste of my heart. There’s somebody out there who will want my heart, Max, even if you don’t.”

“You loved me?”

“Oh, would you get over yourself? You would get stuck on that one little thing, wouldn’t you? Pathetic to the end.” I wanted to kill myself for saying it. I shouldn’t have. He didn’t need to know how I felt. He would only use it against me, only twist me up some more. “I might have loved you, and I might still love you if you would just let yourself be the person you are inside. I know who’s in there, and it’s not the cocky asshole who keeps showing up. It’s the nice guy, the one who cares about people. What’s wrong with caring? What’s wrong with saying, ‘Abby, I don’t like that you’re with another man because I want you for myself?’ Huh?”

He didn’t answer, just like I knew he wouldn’t. I laughed bitterly, unable to see anything good in him anymore. “Forget it. I’m so done with you. And as soon as this season is over, I’m through with the team. I need to move on with my life—I’ll never be able to do it as long as you’re around, holding me back. I was foolish to fall for a man who didn’t share the same feelings. I’m done.”

It wasn’t hard to push him aside. Maybe he was still too surprised to stand his ground. I had to get away. Anywhere he wasn’t. I dashed through the lobby, out to the valet stand. “Please, my car.” I handed my ticket to the attendant. Moments later, I was behind the wheel, peeling out of the hotel turnabout. I caught a glimpse of Max running out of the hotel in my rearview, but I didn’t care. Let him try to follow me. I wouldn’t let him catch up. I wouldn’t let him sweet talk me ever again. It’s over.