Stacking the Deck (A Betting on Romance Novel Book 2) (31 page)

He stared at the envelope. Weird that he wasn’t more nervous. And yet, over the last couple of weeks, Liz had given him all sorts of ideas on how to improve cash flow, restructure pricing and create his own market niche in hardscapes. It was easy to see why she was successful. She had a knack for seeing how any business could work better.

Granted, a lot of it sounded like a bunch of marketing mumbo-jumbo, but even so, it sounded good.

She
sounded good.

He leaned back in his chair with a sigh.

He got such a kick out of watching her mind work. Her eyes would light up, her pen would go a mile a minute on one of her yellow pads and it was as if she got as much of a thrill out of solving his problems as he got out of watching her do it.

He loved watching her. Loved...

Carter’s chair snapped upright.

No.
No way.
He shook his head and leapt from his seat.
Shit!

His chest felt tight, and he began to pace, alarm coursing through him.

As carefree as he was about so much in life, he was
never
this careless about his relationships. He always,
always
stopped himself before stepping over the line. Because, unlike casual sex, love was dangerous. And, yes, objectively, he knew love didn’t always lead to a tragic end like it had for his parents, but he was absolutely sure of one thing.

Someday, somehow,
inevitably…
where love was concerned… someone would get hurt.

CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
____________________

A
FTER
C
ARTER LEFT, Liz threw herself into punch-list tasks. It made it easier to deny she’d been making one whopper of a mistake after another. Eddie joined her as if sensing she needed him. He sat on her extension cord.

What had happened to her since she’d come home? She’d gone from having everything clicking along like clockwork to spiraling out of control and falling in love with a man who was not even her boyfriend!

As if on cue, her cell phone rang. She contemplated letting it go to messages, but then decided she wasn’t a coward. She could always pretend she’d lost cell service if things got dicey.

“Grant!”

“Hi,” he said. “How are you?”

“I’m… okay.”
Crazy. In love with another man. Horribly unfaithful.
“You?”

“Good. Good. Things are good. Really good, in fact.”

“Good.” She swiped her hand on her forehead and waited.

“You sound tired,” he said.

She grimaced. “I am.”
In
so
many ways.

“That’s probably my fault.”

“Not entirely,” she admitted. “But some.”

He chuckled softly. It was strange to hear his laugh. It seemed a lifetime ago she’d been with him. “I deserve that,” he said. “I know I’ve leaned on you more heavily than I’d planned to since you’ve been away. It’s been crazy on this end. I’ve been pulling together a lot of loose ends, and I know I’ve been short with you, but things are coming together now. I’m sorry I made things stressful.”

“Me, too. Crazy on this end, I mean. Too.”

He paused. “Andy says thanks for the, ah, wedding gift.”

She smiled. “I’m glad he liked it. I’m sorry you felt awkward about it.”

Silence.

“Liz? I…” Grant lowered his voice. “I know I said we should take a siesta… to give you time to think about us, but I have to admit… I miss you.”

“You do?”

“Yes,” he chuckled again, warmer this time, “of course I do.”

“But, I thought… I thought you were trying to tell me you needed a break. I thought that’s what ‘siesta’ meant.”

“A break?
No!
  Is that why you’ve—?” He half-laughed then sighed. “No.” She could hear him moving around, the click of a door. He was probably at work.  He was nearly whispering now. “I didn’t want a break, Liz, I thought
you
did! Even though we talked about it, planned for it, it seemed like you weren’t really ready to move things forward, if you know what I mean.” He sighed again. “And when we never talked about what happened that night… or
didn’t
happen…”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to—”

He let out another sigh. “Maybe I’m just being a guy, but if you’re not into me enough to want sex this far into a relationship, I’ve got to wonder if you’re having second thoughts. Hell, maybe you were
never
into me…”

“Of course I was into you! I spent
days
planning for that night!”

Liz blew out a breath. That probably wasn’t a tack she wanted to take right now, considering. “I’m sorry. I am. I know that night was a disaster. Sometimes… sometimes I work so hard to make things perfect, I forget to live in the moment.

“But, that’s changing,” she said. “
I’m
changing. Coming home has forced me to lower my expectations.” She thought of how that might sound. “Of myself! I meant of myself.”

“It’s okay. I got it.” He paused. “So, where do we go from here?”

Liz couldn’t answer. She thought about what she’d been doing over the last couple of weeks and how this man had been nothing but understanding, supportive and good to her. He truly was the man she should have chosen, and yet she’d gone and fallen for the heartbreaker who would only make her cry in the end.

Hadn’t she known
that
twelve years ago?

“You deserve better than what I’ve given you,” she finally said.

“I’ll accept your best efforts at improving that in the future,” he chuckled awkwardly. Paused. “That was a joke.”

“I know.”
God, did all men have dorky senses of humor?
“But, to be honest, I don’t know what the future holds. Coming home has been very emotional for me. I don’t think I can explain it over the phone. I still need to process it all.”
Plus, there’s the little matter of being in love with someone else.

“Sure. I understand. I’m glad you’re working through it. It seemed we hit a plateau a few weeks back, and it threw me off. I thought we were on a good course.”

He blew out a breath and continued. “I know working together has made things complicated, but, I promise, that’s going to change. I don’t want to go into it over the phone, but I want you to know, I want to move forward with you, Liz. I think I’ve been patient enough. Don’t you agree?”

Liz teared up at the hopeful tone in his voice. Now
this
was a good man. This was a man who understood that major life decisions require careful consideration, balancing of pros and cons. You can’t just leap without looking. People have to make compromises and adjustments. This was a man who wanted to talk about their future!

“I’d
love
to
—”

“Great!
”

She’d been about to say,
but I don’t know if I can,
but the relief in his voice stopped her.

“We’ll talk when you get home?” he said.

“Yeah. We’ll talk,” the cowardly part of her agreed.

“Great. Take good care of yourself, Liz.”

“You, too.”

She hung up, her hand shaking.

Lovely. She couldn’t wait to get back to Chicago to tell the man who’d waited months to make love to her that she’d jumped into bed with another guy after mere
days.
He probably wouldn’t be so eager to take things to the next level with her then.

In the meantime, he still thought they were nearly engaged.

Which meant, until she talked to him and set him straight, she was, too.

CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
____________________

“I
HAVE SERIOUSLY underestimated you.” Trish ran an admiring hand across a cabinet door as she pulled down a coffee mug. “These are gorgeous!”

Liz looked at the cabinets wistfully. They were bright, beautiful and brought a calming cheer to a cool, cloudy Tuesday afternoon. Exactly as she’d always pictured them. She bit her lip. “I’m having them repainted as soon as Carter’s done with the walkway,” she said, hoping he was well out of earshot.

Carter had been hard at work for nearly two days straight on the walkways. He and Liz had only shared casual pleasantries, dancing around one another, not talking about the monumental shift in their relationship, as if the elephant in the corner of the room were a natural part of the décor.

Trish whirled, coffee slurping from the pot. “Repainted?
Why?
”

“The color won’t appeal to most buyers. It’s better to keep things neutral. Isn’t that the mantra of all those shows you watch?”

Trish waved a dismissive hand. “To hell with them. I like it. At some point you have to do what you damn well please. Besides, it looks a hundred times better than it did.” She leaned forward. “But, if you’re looking for an excuse to keep Carter hanging around, I certainly understand.”

Liz stirred her coffee. “I’m not looking—”

“Please. It’s obvious something is going on between you two.”

“It is?”

“It is now,” Trish grinned, dropping onto a seat at the table. “I was just fishing a moment ago. So, when? Tell me everything! This is so much better than TV.”

Liz shook her head and sipped thoughtfully.

“What? Oh,
no.
No, no, no, no! Tell me you haven’t.”

“Haven’t what?” Liz evaded as her mind provided a dozen things she shouldn’t have done where Carter was concerned.

“You haven’t gone and slid from lusting for the man straight to—? You have! Oh God, it’s written all over your face!”

There was no use denying it as Trish stared at her pityingly. So she did. “Of course I’m not in love with him! That’s ridiculous!”

“Not ridiculous. Understandable. I may have a husband, but I have eyes. But, seriously, this isn’t good. He’s never struck me as the settling-down type.”

“Don’t you think I know that?” Liz fired back. “He’s already given me the ‘this is just a casual thing’ speech.” She frowned. “Or maybe I did, but it doesn’t matter, because he
agreed
. And it’s just as well. I mean, I have a job and a
life
in Chicago…”

Trish nodded sympathetically. “True. Plus, he’s...
you know.”
What? Gay? Liz was pretty sure
that
wasn’t true. Trish shrugged. “Not necessarily an upstanding citizen, if you know what I mean.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You didn’t hear?” Trish took a slug of coffee and leaned closer. “Word is he quit the fire department after they found empty beer bottles in his truck and a used joint in the break room at the end of his shift.”

“He—? Was he arrested?”

“Not that I know of. Enough buddies at the station I guess. But I know he was asked to leave, and he didn’t fight it, so people are saying they were his.”

“Why didn’t you say something to me before?”

“I didn’t know you were, um, that involved before. I figured you were just having a little fun.”

Fun like a funeral. Liz just looked at her.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to burst your bubble, but I’d hate to see you get hurt.”

Liz nodded. “Me either.” Her chest felt tight. “It’s just, I’ve had a crush on Carter since forever,” she whispered. “It’s hard to let that go.”

“Hey, no one said you have to give up your fantasies. But some things are better left that way, you know? I mean, do I seriously think Gerard Butler would be as good in bed as I imagine? Never mind. Don’t answer that. Obviously a bad analogy. My point is…”

But Liz stopped listening. She knew Trish was trying to make her feel better, but the truth was reality was crashing in, and here she was, over ten years later, still hoping the future with Carter would somehow, miraculously, be different than the facts suggested they would be.

The fact was, as intoxicating as it was to finally hook up with Carter, that’s all it was—all it
could
be—a hook up. She had a master’s degree and a good job. Life experience. She was smart enough not to confuse the excitement of these last few days with real feelings that could last in the real world. What she and Carter had wasn’t something lasting, something built purposefully over time on shared values and goals.