Spring River Valley: The Spring Collection (Boxed Set) (31 page)

In less than ten minutes, Aiden had all his things together and stood at the door. Sam handed him Barkley’s leash. “We’re good, right?” she asked, her voice wavering.

“Of course.” He gave her a light peck on the cheek, which he figured to be the last. “We had fun, right?”

She nodded. “It was perfect.” She held his gaze for a second, then reached down to pet Barkley. “You understand…”

“I do. And everything is cool. Remember, if you need anything, a ride somewhere, something from the store, you can call me. We’re friends, always.”

“Always.” She kissed his cheek, and he opened the door for Barkley. Once he’d gotten the dog in the car, he looked back, but Sam had closed the door. It was done.

Don’t screw it up
. Too late. He’d made one fatal mistake. He’d fallen in love.

*

Sam was still crying when Brenda arrived an hour later.

“I can’t believe he did this,” Brenda said, taking a seat across from Sam in the kitchen. “After the way he looked at the hospital, I would have bet money he felt the same way you do. I thought he was going to faint when he saw your blood all over Taylor’s shirt.

“He didn’t do anything.” Sam wiped her eyes and got up to make some tea. She held up a hand to stop Brenda from taking over the task. “I can do it. Sit down.”

“What do you mean he didn’t do anything?” Brenda sank back into her seat. “Why do you look like you’ve been crying for a week?”

“Is it that bad?” Sam tried to make out her reflection in the stainless steel tea pot. The elongated, upside-down face staring back at her was hideous. “I’m the one who told him to go. It started out just that I wanted him to not feel like he had to hover over me twenty-four seven. He has a life, his own apartment. His dog barely saw him all week. But once I got on a roll, I couldn’t stop. I basically told him I didn’t need him anymore. I was on my way to being totally dependent on him, not just to help me do things while my arm heals, but…to breathe. Having him here was like…heaven. He’d have figured it out soon enough that I’m in love with him, and he would have climbed out the window to get away from me. Now he doesn’t have to go through that awkward breaking of the girl’s heart that he hates so much.”

“The book warned us about this.”

“I know. Chapter thirty-two.”

“The Emotional Tar Pit.” Brenda quoted from Dr. Fraser’s book. “
The only way to avoid being sucked into the muck of an unplanned love affair is to set clear boundaries for yourself beforehand and adhere ruthlessly to the rules of your arrangement
.”

Sam stared at her friend. “How many times did you read the book?”

“Three, so far. And I made some more notes.”

“I thought you weren’t going to try this with Riley.”

“I’m not, but that doesn’t mean I might not try it with someone else.”

The tea kettle whistled, and Sam turned away from Brenda to pour hot water into two cups. She’d done pretty well, one-handed. Her physical limitations would go away soon enough, but it would take a while for her emotional wounds to heal. “Haven’t I set a good enough example of what not to do?” she said as she delivered one steaming cup of aromatic tea to the table, then went back for the other.

“You have. I would never get into this kind of arrangement with someone I was already head over heels for…but let’s face it. Riley may never come around. He’s got his nose buried so deep in his law books, he might never pull it out. I have to accept that I might have to find someone else. I’ll have the advantage of not letting personal feelings complicate things. I can have a friends-with-benefits relationship with anyone
but
Riley, because I won’t have to worry about falling in love.”

Sam sat down and sipped her tea. She hoped Brenda changed her mind. Her loveless arrangement didn’t sound any safer for the heart than what Sam had just put herself through. “I think maybe we should throw Dr. Fraser’s book in the trash. It hasn’t done me any good, and I don’t think it will for you either.”

“The jury’s still out on my plan. We’ll see. For now, let’s worry about you. How are you going to get through this?”

“By not thinking about Aiden anymore. I gave it a shot, and my experiment failed. I’ve got to move on.”

Two weeks passed relatively quickly. Aiden took on an extra class at work, filling up his night off so he wouldn’t have time to think about Sam or consider dating anyone else. After the first three days, he’d managed to train himself not to automatically dial her number every time he picked up his cell phone.

He knew he could call her, just to ask how she was feeling, but he couldn’t have kept the conversation light. She would have heard the desperation in his voice in a heartbeat, so he remained mute. He texted once, a perfunctory
How’s the arm?
To which she’d replied
Getting much better, thx.

He hadn’t pursued the conversation, and neither had she. The weight of his heart in his chest became heavier each day, but he ignored it. As long as he kept busy, he was fine. At least that’s what he told everyone, including Bailey when she stopped by the Rec Center late Friday afternoon.

“Tonight’s the last night of the fair,” she said, “Matt’s taking the night off from Colette’s so we can go. Do you want to come?”

“I’ve been to the fair.” Aiden busied himself folding workout mats, the physical exertion keeping his mind focused.

“Yes, but you haven’t been anywhere in weeks. You haven’t even had a night off.”

“I’m filling in for another instructor.”

“So let someone fill in for you and come with us. You need to have a little fun.” Her hopeful expression might have convinced him if mention of the fair hadn’t immediately brought up memories of Sam. That night, after they’d cleaned up her kitchen and stripped off their ice cream-saturated clothes, had been the night he’d truly fallen in love with her. Going back to the fair would kill him.

“Fun isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Go with Matt and have a good time.”

“Aiden…”

“You’re the one who was always telling me to get serious, Bailey. So now I’m getting serious.” He hadn’t intended his response to sound angry, but the force of his words set her back a step. “I have a job. I’m focusing on my job. I don’t have time to take the night off and run around the fair.”

“Okay. I’m sorry. I thought you’d like to unwind a bit.”

“I’m not wound. I’m fine.”

Bailey held up her hands in surrender. “Okay. It was just a suggestion. Call me if you change your mind. Anytime.”

“I won’t.”

Bailey left, looking dejected. He’d call her later and apologize for getting huffy. She meant well, but he didn’t want to have to explain to her that he needed time alone to get over Sam and to get over hating himself for screwing up what could have been a perfect relationship.

He’d thought a million times about going to her place and telling her he could handle any arrangement she wanted to have, that he would never allow himself to get too involved if that was the way she preferred it, but he wasn’t a good-enough actor to pull it off. He knew if he saw her again in person, he’d confess his real feelings, and then she’d just feel sorry for him.

It was better this way. Work through the pain—that was the only way to get stronger.

*

At ten thirty that night he found himself standing in line at the Ferris wheel. He hadn’t called Bailey and Matt, and part of him was desperately hoping he wouldn’t accidentally run into them. After his class, he’d decided he needed noise, a distraction to keep himself from showing up at Sam’s apartment.

The fair was a bad idea, but he’d ended up there without even really thinking about it. He’d stalked past the concession stands, the bumper cars, and the carnival games and headed straight for the wheel. From the top, maybe he’d be able to see everything laid out for him the way Sam had described. Maybe he could figure out where he was going with his life if he could see beyond all the distractions at ground level.

He paid for his ticket and climbed into the bench seat. The operator nodded to a pretty girl in line behind him. “Room for two?”

“Not this ride, thanks.” Aiden shut the safety gate and trained his gaze on the black sky. When he came off the ride, he planned to have his head on straight and be able to handle the consequences of his actions.

The music from the ride swelled, and the gondola began to rise. The tents and wooden stands fell away below him. The wind picked up, and the temperature dropped. The river reflected moonlight back at him, and the town stretched out in all directions, but Aiden saw nothing beyond his own stupid misery. Sam had said she could see every possibility up here, and it overwhelmed her, but all he saw was her face. He’d never thought of endless possibilities until he had her with him, until that moment he’d decided he could commit to one person only if that person was her.

* * * *

Eleven p.m. was not the time to be doing the physical therapy exercises the surgeon had prescribed for her, but Sam couldn’t sleep, and the muscles of her arm felt tight and stiff, so she sat at the kitchen table, nursing a cup of decaf, and flexing her palm until the burn brought tears to her eyes.

Monday she planned to go back to the Clinic, even though Taylor had assured her she could take as much time off as she needed. Gillian had pretended to be doing fine in her absence, but she knew it put a strain on her coworker to have to handle all the paperwork responsibilities on her own.

That left her two days to get as much mobility in her hand as possible so she could use the computer at least, even if she couldn’t help Taylor with any of the animals.

With each muscle twinge she cursed the surgeon who had told her these preliminary exercises would help her overcome her discomfort. At least, she told herself she was cursing the surgeon. The tears welled, blurring her vision, and she fought them back. This wasn’t about missing Aiden. She’d gotten over him in the fourteen days since she’d seen him last. His recent text to her had been the test, and she’d passed, managing to send a curt but polite answer to his question and not break down and beg him to come over and comfort her.

No, these tears were about frustration at not being able to button a shirt yet, or not being able to turn the water taps in the bathroom. In time she’d regain those abilities, with a lot of hard work. The irony was, the doctor had suggested a mild form of martial arts, tai chi, as an excellent movement therapy. Aiden taught tai chi. How would that look if she showed up in his class?

The surprise of hearing her cell phone ring after eleven quickly turned to worry. No one called her at this hour unless it was some kind of emergency.

She swiped at her eyes and ran to retrieve the phone from the coffee table, scooping it up without looking at the caller ID. “Hello?”

“I’m outside. Can I come in?”

Aiden’s voice sent an electric wave through her body. Her stomach clenched, and she almost dropped the phone. “Why, what’s wrong?” She hadn’t intended the question to sound accusatory. “I mean…are you okay?”

“No. I need to see you. Please?”

“Of course…” She stared at the door half expecting him to burst inside, but he didn’t. She’d have to let him in. On shaky legs she crossed the room and opened the door. Aiden stood on her narrow front step. He had his hands thrust into his front pockets, shoulders up around his ears, and he seemed to be shivering despite the warmth of the late June evening.

She stepped aside and let him in. “What happened? You look… terrible.”

He stood with his head bowed for a moment, and when he looked up, his eyes were wet. “You happened.”

Something lodged in Sam’s throat. She thought it might have been her heart. Everything she wanted to say to him remained trapped in her chest, making her ribs ache. He must have taken her choked silence for confusion or maybe something worse because he looked away as he continued.

“You don’t have to say anything. I know how you feel, but I just want to make sure you know exactly how I feel. Remember when we went to the fair, and you said the Ferris wheel made you feel like you had everything in front of you, and it was so much that it made you feel like your heart was going to explode?”

She nodded, but he didn’t seem to be waiting for a response. He plowed on. “I told you I never felt like that, and I never had. Tonight I went to the fair, and I rode the Ferris wheel by myself. God, this sounds so stupid now that I say it out loud. I feel like I’m some fourteen-year-old kid…” He cursed and turned his back to her.

Sam wanted to touch him, but she didn’t dare. She would end up clinging to him and begging him to never leave her.

“I thought maybe if I went up there again I could get that feeling, but when I was up there, I realized I had that feeling—” Finally he turned around. “—when I was with you. I know…you don’t have to say it. But I’m going to say it. I love you, Samantha. Somehow I fell in love with you, maybe because you’re exactly like me. You’re the girl I’ve always been looking for, the one who wasn’t looking for anything, wasn’t asking me to be anything I wasn’t ready to be. Well, now I’m ready, and I know you’re not, and that’s okay as long as—”