Splintered (15 page)

Somehow I'd never expected my mom to hear the
gossip. I'd practiced my story a hundred times in preparation for
the police but never expected to need it on my mom.

"They didn't all disappear. Alison,
Sam and Jack are all still around. As for why I never told you…I
don't know. It just didn't seem that important."

Mom put her head in her hands for a moment. "I
really do wish you were caught up stealing cars. That would be
better than the truth. I know you're feeling trapped right now, but
there's a way out."

"Mom. I'm not trapped. Alec's one of the best
guys I've ever met and he hasn't done anything wrong."

"Fine. When you're ready to tell me the truth
I'll be here waiting to listen. Until then, you're
grounded."

**

Mom had never stuck with a grounding
for more than a few hours. This had already blown the previous
record completely out of the water. School was a nightmare. Mom
dropped me off in the morning and was there promptly after my shift
ended to pick me up.

In between I suffered from a complete lack of
social interaction. None of the pack was in school. Neither was Ben
or Albert. I sent Alec a text between classes.

Is everything okay? Have
news.

Almost two whole hours later Alec finally
responded.

Can't really talk. Swing by with
news after school?

Grounded. Can't even return Jasmin's
car.

She'll be by tomorrow
morning.

I broached Jasmin's impending visit on the way
home. "Mom, I know I'm grounded, but Jasmin is going to stop by
tomorrow morning for her car."

"Back from her trip, huh? Awfully
quick even for business, isn't it?"

I didn't bother dignifying the comment with a
response. Once we got home I managed to endure Mom's knowing looks
for an hour and a half before retreating into my room. All of my
usual escapes totally failed me. I finally ended up putting ear
buds in and thumbing to a selection of the kind of stuff my mom
hated.

The snarling guitars and heavy distortion
finally took me away from a world where the boy I loved was in
mortal danger and my mom was forbidding me from being there to
help. Mom interrupted towards the end of the album to check on
me.

I finished the last song and then
listened to Mom rattle around the bathroom getting ready for bed. I
tried to escape into another album but Mom had ruined the feeling.
I was well and truly brought back down to the suckiness of real
life.

I sat on the floor for another half an hour and
then finally got up to get ready for bed. I had just returned to my
room when I heard the light chime of something hitting glass. I ran
to my window hoping to see Alec and instead found Ben looking up at
me. I shushed him and then crept downstairs. He met me on our
porch.

"This totally better be important.
I'm already grounded. If my mom catches me down here, I'll be
twenty-five before I get out of the house again." My half-serious
attempt at humor evaporated away when I saw Ben's face. His eyes
were black and bloodshot, like he hadn't slept in days, and his
features had taken on a gaunt cast.

"I want to see Jasmin."

"I think she probably wants to see you too, but
right now isn't the greatest time."

"You don't understand.
I 
need
 to see her. Tonight."

There was an urgency to his voice that made me
uncomfortable.

"I do understand, Ben. You're going through
withdrawal, but there isn't anything I can do to help you. Jasmin,
Alec, they're all in trouble right now."

"I know. I tried to drive to their place
earlier tonight. Two big guys stopped me at the gate. Told me I had
to leave."

I seemed to spend all of my time lately trying
to figure out how much I could tell someone versus how much I had
to lie to them.

"It's okay. If you can just wait a
little bit longer those guys will be gone and you and Jasmin can be
together."

"Do you really believe that?"

I tried to lie, but nothing would come out. I
temporized. "I believe that Jasmin wants to be with you, I just
don't know if things are that simple anymore."

"Because I'm addicted to her. She always hated
it when I was using. She said when I was high it wasn't really me
looking out at her."

I reached over and put a hand on Ben's
shoulder. "It doesn't have to be like that. I mean if you can make
it a few days, sort of get her out of your system then there won't
be anything standing between the two of you."

Ben shook his head violently.
"Right, and then what, never touch? You don't understand. I've
never had anything hit me like this. She's all I can think about.
Those guys. When they touched me, I mean I don't even like guys,
but when they touched me it was like I feel when I'm with
her."

I moved closer, but Ben shook my
hand off. "No. I'm not going to do this. If I'm addicted then I'm
addicted, but she can't disappear for days at a time. Stringing me
along like that is wrong. The things I'm tempted to do, you don't
understand them."

"Jasmin isn't trying to string you along. I can
promise you that. She wants to see you again."

Ben looked up at me again and there was a new
steel to his gaze. "She has a choice. She can either keep me
addicted or she can ignore me. I'm not going through detox twice on
this one. She's got twenty-four hours before I leave and never come
back."

**

I tried to talk Ben down, tried to convince him
to give Jasmin more time, but it was useless. He was positive he
would be through the worst of the withdrawals in the next day or so
and didn't want to continue to be tempted.

I even tried to chase him down when he left but
I didn't make it very far without shoes. I crept back upstairs
about midnight and fell into a fitful sleep.

Mom woke me up the next morning yelling for me
to get the door. I stumbled out of bed and found Jasmin and Donovan
at the door.

"Oh, right. Sorry guys, I just got up. Let me
go get your key, Jas."

"Don't worry about it, I brought a spare and we
don't have much time."

I blinked enough of the sleep out of my eyes to
finally take in Jasmin's appearance. She looked like she'd been
through a war. There were bandages visible peeking out from her
clothes in a number of random spots and she had a huge bruise
across her face.

Donovan wasn't quite as visibly banged up, but
he was moving more stiffly than usual. I wondered if they'd
purposefully gone after his good leg. The thought of proper, kind
Donovan back on that stone table nearly brought tears to my
eyes.

"Are you guys okay? Those weren't
Agony's, were they?"

Jasmin tried for nonchalance but
couldn't quite pull it off. "No, that's just the natural result of
him bringing six other dominants to visit and throwing our power
dynamic all to hell. We're pretty much all being treated like
submissives right now. The only one they're leaving mostly alone is
Alec and they're getting pretty bold even with him
lately."

Donovan cleared his throat and
Jasmin nodded. "Right, not much time. Have you heard from
Ben?"

"How did you know?"

"It was logical. He can't get to me and he
trusts you. He's probably associated you with the high
too."

"He's not good, Jas. I mean really not good. It
looks like he's burning up from the inside out."

Jasmin opened her mouth, looked at
Donovan out of the corner of her eye and then shrugged. "I can't do
anything about that right now. Alec practically had to throw a
hissy fit in order to get the two of us out here to pick up my car.
I can't ask him to run those kinds of risks to get me out again.
Did Ben seem like he was more or less holding it together? I mean,
he wasn't going to go do anything stupid, was he?"

I did feel myself tear up as I recalled the
pain in Ben's eyes. "I don't know. He was talking all crazy. He
thinks you've addicted him and then hung him out to dry. He doesn't
want to go through withdrawal multiple times."

Jasmin reached out and grabbed my arms, almost
shaking me. "What exactly did he say?"

"You've got until about midnight tonight. You
can either give him another dose or he's going to leave
town."

Jasmin's grip tightened as she tried to keep
herself under control.

"Jas, you're hurting me."

The words brought forth no response
until Donovan reached forward and grabbed her wrist, gradually
applying pressure until I could see his knuckles turn white. Jasmin
turned on him with a hiss.

For a second I thought she was going to attack
but he held his hands up non-threateningly and she visibly brought
herself back under control.

"Thanks for letting me know, Adri.
Donovan, I'll wait for you at the second to the last turnoff so
that we come back together."

Donovan waited until Jasmin's car was backing
down the lane before turning back to me. "I'm sorry about that.
She's under quite a bit of stress right now."

"No, I understand. Thank you.
You…took a risk pulling her off me."

Donovan dismissed the thanks with a
wave. "Not such a big risk as you might think. I've helped raise
her from the time she was very young. I am submissive to her, but
still well-loved by and large."

There was a second where neither of
us was quite sure what to say, and then Donovan took a deep
breath.

"I'm afraid we really don't have much time.
What did Alec's other advisor counsel?"

It took me a second to realize he was talking
about Mallory. "She said he should give Agony whatever he wants.
Alec needs time for his power to reemerge or to practice with it or
whatever."

As Donovan's eyebrows twitched I
realized I'd just seen him taken completely off guard for the first
time in our acquaintance.

"You didn't know?"

"No, I did not. Alec is wise. No matter how
well one bluffs, the task is impossible if those around you tell a
different story with their actions. He must play this particular
game very close to his chest."

"Is she right? Should Alec really sacrifice
whatever it takes to survive Agony's visit?"

Donovan paused for thought. Out of all of the
grownups in my life I could always count on him to tell me the
truth.

"That is a hard thing. Agony is capable of
asking for very dear sacrifices indeed, but I think the advice is
correct. If Alec can survive the next few months and truly master
his ability he will finally have the strength to put the old order
back in place."

I came very close to not telling
Donovan about the rest of my trip, but regardless of the risks to
Oblivion, or even the risks to me, I couldn't withhold information
Alec might need to keep the pack whole.

"I was stopped on the way back. A guy named
Marco and Oblivion. They asked me where I'd been. Marco was going
to beat it out of me, but Oblivion implied he was going to pull it
from my mind."

Donovan's eyes flickered briefly to the fat lip
and bruise Marco had left me, but gave no indication of the fear he
must feel for the woman he loved.

"When he touched me though, I heard
voices. They said if he stole memories it would leave holes. Then
he showed me what happened the last time Agony was here. It was
like I was there experiencing it for myself but trapped in his
body."

Even eighteen hours, later recalling
what I'd been shown was almost enough to make me sick. I reached
back for the door, leaning against it while I tried to hold myself
together.

"I saw the fighting, saw Agony hurt Mallory and
kill Alec's dad. It was so terrible."

Donovan helped me over to the porch swing. "It
was all a very long time ago. It was terrible, but it's done.
Nothing you can do now will change what happened then."

I nodded and brought my breathing back under
control. "When it was over he said to act scared and then I was
back to myself. They let me go and I came home. I've been running
through my memories ever since. I can't think of anything that's
missing. I think he was just trying to help. Mallory's
safe."

Donovan nodded. "There's never been
any indication Oblivion could display memories as well as steal
them. This bears some thought. If Oblivion were really ready to
make a break from the official line of the Coun'hij it could
represent a substantial shift in the balance of power."

After several seconds of silence Donovan shook
himself. "Thank you for telling me."

I grabbed Donovan's arm before he could leave.
"Do you really think Alec should sacrifice whatever is required in
order to keep Agony happy? I saw you on that table. Agony did
terrible things to you and never even blinked."

Donovan met my eyes steadily. "Master Alec needs to do
whatever is required for him to come into his full power. More is
at stake than you realize. My being strapped to that table again is
a small price if it saves all of the others Agony would torture
otherwise."