Spirited Ride (12 page)

“Jesus, TJ… please,” she begged and tried to lie back on the bed.

Using his hands on her lower back he forced her to remain upright and in the same position. Then he covered her with his mouth. He sucked on the enflamed bud nestled between her folds while pulling out on it. This time she cried out his name. Her hand found his hair and she wrapped some of it around her small fist pulling tight while she whimpered at him.

All too soon he felt and tasted her essence against his tongue as she broke apart. A small flush of anger shot through him that she’d not lasted more than a few moments and hadn’t waited for him to get his fill of her first. He allowed her to enjoy the pleasure of it for a brief minute before releasing her.

“I barely got to taste you. Damn, Baby,” he said against her inner thigh as she sucked in several sharp breaths and finally released his hair. “We’ll come back to this later… Then I will have a
real
go at you before you cum in my mouth.”

Placing her legs back on the floor, he then stood up and quickly shed his clothes. Grabbing her by one arm and pulling her to him, he kissed her briefly.

He turned her around and pushed down on her shoulders, he forcing her to kneel on the floor by the side of the bed. Taking her arms he adjusted her upper body forward so that she was bent across the bed.

He took several calming breaths to get himself under control at the sight of her…
submitting to him
… allowing him his way with her…
whatever
he wanted.

Then he pulled his wallet from his jeans and took out a condom. Once he’d rolled it down his shaft, he rubbed his hand down the small of her back and then slid a finger along the seam of her rounded ass, enjoying the feel and sight. He trailed all the way down to her cleft which he rubbed lightly with a couple of fingers.

“I changed my mind, roll over,” he ordered.

“Oh God… TJ,” she begged.

Placing his hands on either side of her hips, he helped her turn over onto her back with her feet dangling over the edge of the bed. He pulled her legs straight up so that her feet were on either side of his head. Using one hand he guided himself into her gently. Feeling a little resistance to his size, he reached down between her legs and rubbed her again until she was rocking against him. Then he slid forward in one slow motion until he was seated to the hilt.

“That’s too much… you’re too big that way,” she said, her eyes growing round.

He moved her legs back down to where they were locked around his waist instead. Then he leaned closer to her and placed one hand around her neck. He tightened his grip on the delicate skin just enough that it would enhance her orgasm but not truly choke her. He pushed forward into her a little harder.

“That’s because you
make
me that way, Sherri. This right here is only for
you
,” he ground out as he began to move within her faster and harder.

He watched her face as he slammed into her. To ensure he was not applying to much pressure to her neck and to enjoy her looks of pleasure. Her mouth opened and her bottom lip began to quiver uncontrollably.

After a couple of minutes her entire body was shaking. Suddenly she arched her back up off the bed to meet his thrust one more time before falling over the edge of sanity into bliss.

Relaxing his grip on her neck, he cupped his hands under her bottom and raised her up slightly to hold her at the angle that felt the best for him. Then he took her with a force he’d never unleashed on any other woman… just her.

It bordered on violent but seemed to connect their spirits somehow as she called out his name over and over, exploding around him yet again, until he finally found his own release.

It was nearly morning before he finally allowed her to sleep. Looking over at her beautiful backside where she lay sprawled across his bed on her stomach, he could see a couple of red marks on the backs of her thighs in the shape of his fingers.

He’d missed her so much he’d been a little carried away by the sight, taste, smell and feel of her. They’d been ravenous for each other. He would apologize for the marks when she woke up and make it up to her… if she wasn’t too sore.

The next thing he knew he awoke by rolling over onto his notebook. Sherri was gone and had left him a message asking him to give her some space. That she would call him. It was all he could do not to drive over there immediately and take her again as an answer to the damn letter.

Knowing he’d done a damn good job of putting his stamp on her the night before, he decided to get a shower and something to eat first.

It was almost evening before he finally made it over to the house. She’d taken it all but he was the one who was worn out. God she was a thing of beauty… in and out of the bedroom.

Teasing her, fighting with her and especially loving her had shaved a few years off his age and he felt like his spirit was young again… riding off into the wind. It had been way too long since he’d felt like this and the mental sensation was amazing… a little scary too, since he knew it meant he was opening himself up for a world of hurt once more.

He hated even having to knock. Just walking on in, finding her, dragging her down to the floor of whatever room she was in and bringing her release again and again would be preferred. Instead he waited on the front porch of
their
house for her to let him in.

Rather than inviting him in, she cracked open the door and spoke through the screen saying, “Go home, TJ. Last night was great but it fixes nothing between us. In the light of the day, the same reality shines brightly. You left me… over a decade ago. We can just call what happened last night… closure.”

“Closure? I know we need to talk about things… I do. However, we can’t do this with me out here baking in the heat and you in there… hiding,” he replied.

“What is there to say, TJ? Regardless of last night, our relationship is over… has been over for years. Things didn’t work out for you in Nashville and now you’re back and ready to make amends and I… I can’t help but wonder when you’ll get tired of this sleepy little town once more and take off yet again,” she said.

“You think last night was just about us apologizing to each other so we can move on? How can you seriously think that, Sherri?” he asked. “Last night was about the fact that after all this time we still aren’t over each other. That means it’s time to work out our differences.”

“That’s just it… I’m not sure we can work out our differences. The trust I had for you once is gone and I’m not sure you can get it back. I’m not sure I’ll ever get over you leaving like you did,” she said.

“What about your part in the mess we made of our marriage and each other?” he asked.

“Go home, TJ,” she said again and closed the door. He heard the lock slide into place and knew she’d walked away.

Unwilling to make a scene, since once again she’d not acknowledged her part in their breakup, he left. Maybe she was right… maybe there was nothing left to salvage of their relationship.

Perhaps he was destined to live out the remainder of his life alone… with nothing more than images of her in his mind that would fade a little more every year. It could be this would be what eventually did him in… a broken heart. Some of the greatest songs in history had professed it to be possible. Maybe it was.

The most devastating part was that Sherri might never acknowledge her part in it and the
closure
she mentioned would only be hers. He was home now and he wasn’t leaving so it was one of life’s cruelties he might have to learn to live with.

Apologizing for his part in their failed attempt at love with his body, and being willing to talk honestly about it just wasn't enough for her, apparently. He could wait around forever for her to be ready to face their issues, or he could move on.

Moving on might be necessary at some point but for right now he’d be reminding her of how great things had been for them prior to him leaving. They’d had one hell of a relationship once upon a lifetime.

Then if she wanted that back as badly as he did, she would have to face their issues with him. Either that or he’d be forced to call it done… sign her damn papers and end it.

Calling it quits would have been a lot easier yesterday before she’d shown up at his apartment and allowed him a glimpse of what used to be and what could be again, with some work. If only they could get through the present.

The connection between them was still there… she just needed to put aside her anger and hurt for a moment to see it. That was the only hope they had have moving forward… together or otherwise.

Tuesday when he brought the girls over to practice in the garage, Sherri was gone… having left a note and the key to the garage.
She was avoiding him.

Determined to focus on something other than her for a while, he really took a look at each of the girls’ individual talents and was stunned by what he found. They had a natural talent… prodigies in their own right. He stood by his decision at not having kids of his own… but he was enjoying the hell out of Tommy’s.

Gretchen could lead or follow dependent upon her mood or the song they were playing. She’d picked up the drums rapidly and continued to improve daily. She was also starting to fool around on his bass guitar a little bit. Like him, the little girl seemed to feel the music somewhere deep in her soul.

Melody was an odd child but extremely talented. She’d definitely inherited Tommy’s knack for putting a unique sound to any song she sang. Some tune or humming was always escaping her especially whenever she played around with his acoustic or electric guitar. She was making her own music already and due to her age, didn’t even realize it.

Ginny continued to amaze him a little more every session. It was as though she could pick up any instrument and just start playing it. She’d practically mastered the harmonica and the tambourine right after that. Having repeatedly asked for a piano, he’d talked to Tommy about trying to find a little keyboard for her.

He was also working on getting Ginny and Melody to harmonize vocally with each other. They could then be Gretchen’s backup singers at the concert they were planning for the Labor Day party being held at Bobby and Lilly’s at the end of summer.

The way the three sisters looked at him as though he was the smartest person they’d ever met… at least regarding music… made him feel really good. He might not have had what it took to succeed in music, but in their eyes he was a star.

Once Dana picked them up, his mind immediately went back to Sherri. Knowing it was her day off, he sat down in the shade of the porch and prepared to wait her out. She had to come home eventually and when she did…

After finishing up the schedule and the last of the beer order for the bar, she knew it was time to stop hiding and just go home. Dawn and Lindsey both gave her sideways glances at having shown up on her day off.

Neither of them said anything but the fact that Lindsey hadn’t been home in a few days spoke volumes. She was being a bitch. If they only understood the crazy thoughts going through her head or the damage her heart had endured over the past couple of days, maybe they would understand.

The ache of the muscles along her inner thighs told her it had been a very long time since anyone had invaded her body like TJ Simons could. The man was everything she’d imagined and remembered over the years, when she’d allow her mind to drift his way.

As much as she’d like to believe that he only had her on his mind and in his heart… this time she knew better. The outcome had been brutal, thinking that he couldn’t possibly care for and make love to other women the way he did with her and then having been wrong. No way was she about to repeat that mistake.

“I’ll see you guys tomorrow afternoon,” she finally said, coming out and standing behind the bar where both girls were helping customers.

Dawn had done a good job of stepping up and running the bar while her head had been preoccupied with TJ. Lindsey was good at jumping in wherever she was needed and the place seemed to almost run itself here of late. It was good to know that if something happened they could truly handle things when she wasn’t there.

“I’m going to stay with Dawn again this evening. In fact, she and I were talking about me moving in there with her and her boyfriend,” Lindsey said, approaching her with caution. “Would that be okay with you?”

“I think that would be great for you both. I knew it wouldn’t take long for you to find your way…” she replied. The look of relief on the young woman’s face made Sherri feel bad. Had she really been that temperamental lately?

“I’ll probably just bring my things with me to work one day and take them on to Dawn’s after my shift. Are you sure you don’t want anything… money or whatever… for letting me stay with you?” Lindsey asked.

“Absolutely not. I’ve definitely gotten more out of this friendship than you have. I’m not sure how this bar ever functioned before you and Dawn came to work for me,” she said more cheerfully than she felt.

“I can’t thank you enough for helping me out when I needed it the most. Not too many people will take in some young girl they barely know based on the word of a former gang member who’s all tatted up,” Lindsey said.

“That’s too bad… they don’t know what their missing then,” Sherri said and then pulled the young woman to her and gave her a hug. She truly had got more out of this arrangement than Lindsey… she’d made yet another friend.

As she drove home she couldn’t help but think that if she and TJ couldn’t work out their differences where the house was concerned, she’d rather Chuck did have it than some stranger. Using it as a place for young adults like Lindsey to live while they attended school or learned a trade skill was a great way to give back to the community.

TJ was right in that his grandmother would have wanted something like that done with her house.

Pulling into the driveway, she let out a sigh upon seeing TJ sitting on her front porch leaning his back against her front door. She’d known that sending him on his way after what they’d shared wouldn’t be enough to keep him away for long.

Her mind was flooded with images of him leaning over as he’d made love to her one final time before finally allowing her to sleep. His long hair had tickled her arm and part of her chest as he’d rocked into her, whispering her name over and over… the sound drifting into the tight confines of her spirit until it took flight.

Why she allowed him to do the things to her that he did, she’d never understand… not in a million years. She hadn’t known why she liked him ordering her around in the bedroom all those years ago and still didn’t get why she liked it even more so now.

Perhaps having to handle so much in every other area of her life… it was the one area that someone else handled for her… in the most exquisite way imaginable.

By submitting to him sexually it had always made him want even more of her and also more likely to give in to her in other areas. It was a semblance of balance that had worked pretty well for them… until she wasn’t enough for him anymore.

The sad part was that after all this time and knowing it had been him who left the relationship… didn’t change the fact that the sound of his voice ordering her to pleasure him or herself still made her body ache with a primal need that other women would never understand.

She might be fooling herself in that his orders were because he wanted her so badly or because their mutual satisfaction was important enough for him to just tell her what to do or what he wanted and expected instead of playing games.

That idea along with slight aches and pains and light marks on intimate parts of her body… ensured that her mind couldn’t focus on anything but him.

It was what had driven her to work on her day off. She’d been hiding from those facts as well as TJ himself. Upon returning home though, she was broad sided with both.

Mustering whatever courage she could, she took another deep breath, got out of the car and started walking toward the front door.

“Did the girls leave?” she asked as she approached where he sat.

Without answering her, he instead stood up and opened the screen door for her. She fumbled with her keys, her hands shaking, until she was finally able to get the door open.

He followed her inside without being invited and shut the door behind him. Turning to him, prepared to tell him that he should go home… that she still wasn’t ready to talk to him just yet, she was surprised to find him so close behind her.

Reaching down he took her purse from her hand and tossed it on the recliner. Watching her face for a reaction, he then took her keys from her other hand and they soon joined her purse. She knew that if she didn’t say something in the next few moments, he was going to yet again make her spirit soar and sing to his tune while simultaneously making her heart burn and ache. She’d been so strong for ten years… why couldn’t she be now with him standing right in front of her?

“I had to wait outside in the heat for like an hour... did you know that, Sherri?” he asked with sexuality dripping from every word. She could only swallow.

“I’m going to get in the shower so you can wash me off first,” he said, leaning down to catch her gaze ensuring she was focused on what he was telling her.
Like she could ignore him if she wanted too.

“First?” she managed to choke out.

“Yes… first. Then I’m going to finally get that taste of you I’ve been craving since Sunday evening. This time you will not give in to your own pleasure so quickly, will you, Sherri?” he asked. “You won’t be selfish with your own needs, right?”

Her heart and spirit betrayed her mind when she felt her head shaking no rather than telling him that it was time for him to go home. Before she could tell him that never again would she allow him to make her body blissfully explode and then beg him for more, that he just needed to sign the divorce papers, she once again submitted to him by allowing him to drag her by the arm into the bathroom.

He turned on the shower. Soon enough they were both naked and standing under the lukewarm spray while he held on to the glass door with one hand and the opposite side of the stall with the other, watching as she soaped and rinsed every inch of him. Just as she finished, he turned her around and pressed her hands flat against the tiles at the back of the shower. Within moments he was using his hands and mouth to work her into a frenzy.

“Do you want this, Sherri?” he whispered against her cheek as he rubbed himself against her entrance.

“Yes,” she managed to plea.

“Not until I get what I want. This time if you don’t allow me to taste you more than a minute or two you won’t get this at all,” he whispered against her other cheek before stepping away from her and turning off the shower. “Go get in the bed and wait for me.”

She managed to dry off and wrap a towel around her middle before running a comb through her hair. Then she exited the bathroom, closing the door on TJ’s toned and naked body as he stood combing through his own wet hair.

As she rounded the small divider wall between the bathroom door and the dining room she nearly screamed upon bumping into Lilly. Dana was just a step behind her.

“I didn’t mean to scare you,” Lilly said, holding a hand against her own chest as if to calm her heart. “The door was unlocked and we called for you when we came in the house. We thought maybe you and TJ had… killed each other… when we couldn’t find…”

Lilly’s words died on her lips as she stared past her and Sherri knew that TJ had exited the bathroom and could only pray that he’d at least wrapped a towel around his waist. Upon seeing the shock on Dana’s face as well, she knew better.

Turning around she was blessed with a frontal of TJ in all his erect glory and if not for her sister and friend, she would have liked to just look at him for a while.

He casually reached back into the bathroom and grabbing a towel, shook it out and wrapped it around his waist. Then he looked back at where the three of them stood gaping at him and grinned. He didn’t apologize for what they’d seen or even go back into the bathroom and close the door.

Instead he walked straight for the group, where Lilly and Dana scattered to clear a path for him. Sherri watched in both shock and amazement as he sidled past them all and headed toward her bedroom.

“I’ll be back here waiting… when you’re ready, Sherri,” he advised them before entering her bedroom and closing the door.

It was all she could do to turn back and face Dana and Lilly. When she finally did, they still wore looks of shock and appreciation. As if just as unsure what to say as Sherri, they suddenly made for the front door.

Before she lost the opportunity to try and explain she said, “I’m not going to say it isn’t what it looks like but please know that this changes nothing between the two of us. We’re still getting divorced,” she managed to choke out as Lilly opened the front door. “I just… I just had a moment of weakness.”

Dana and Lilly looked at each other before escaping through the screen door. Then Dana stopped mid-step and without looking back at her said, “You don’t owe us an explanation, Sherri. The heart wants what it wants. It may defy your mind and even logical explanation sometimes but it knows what it wants and needs.”

“Call me later if you need… to talk,” Lilly said before they both practically sprinted down the three steps of the front porch and ran to Dana’s van parked behind her car.

Closing the front door she leaned back against it and sighed. In some regards, Dana was right. She couldn’t continue to kid herself much longer.

Whatever issues lay between them, she still loved TJ Simons and if she didn’t face that in one way or another she would never get past it and her heart would continue to want what it wanted.

The only way to do that was to lay her cards on the table and tell him how she felt about him. How she felt about his leaving. How she felt about him being back now. How she felt about their future and what she thought it held for each of them.

Heading back down the hall to the bedroom, she braced herself for the temptation that lay behind door number one. Taking a deep breath so she could say what needed said, she opened the door to find him stretched out on her bed, naked as he’d been upon exiting the bathroom. He held himself in one hand, ensuring he was still as erect as he’d been for the audience in the other room.

Upon seeing the look on her face and knowing she had something important to say to him, he held his hand out to her. As she approached the bed slowly, he said, “Get in beside me and tell me whatever it is that’s on your mind. I swear I won’t touch you until you’ve had your say.”

He allowed her to lie down next to him keeping the towel safely tucked around her body. Once she was situated she said, “As much as I want to continue denying that I want you, we both know better. So we can have as much sex as it takes but at some point that won’t be enough for either one of us and you know it, TJ.”

“I’ve never denied to anyone, the fact that I haven’t stopped wanting you, Sherri,” he replied.

“I lost a part of myself when you left and have not been able to get rid of that feeling of inadequacy from you leaving. Was Nashville that important to you and how could you be with other women after telling me that I was everything to you?” she asked.

He was quiet for a minute before finally saying, “It wasn’t Nashville so much as trying to figure out if you were willing to support and encourage me to follow
my
dreams and goals. Why didn’t you want me to try and succeed on my own… outside of you and the bar? Why, Sherri? I was so young. I just needed to leave my own mark on the world… no matter how small that dent ended up being. Was that so much to ask?”

Silence lingered for several moments before he continued, “As for the women… they had nothing to do with it. They were filler… an opening act that I had never heard of and didn’t really care for anyway. In that regard you were the only one who ever mattered and knowing that I wasn’t important enough to you… nearly killed me.”

“Coming back here and opening up for more of that kind of rejection is probably one of the dumber things I’ve ever done but after seeing you that day in the auditorium… I couldn’t help myself. It’s like being booed off stage only to find that somewhere deep inside… you have to try just one more time… even if you suspect it will probably happen again,” he finished quietly.

Hot tears trickled down her cheeks. His words sounded so sincere but he had it all wrong. He’d told her that he wanted to go to Nashville, try to record a few songs to get his name out there and would be leaving in a few days.

What he hadn’t told her was how important it was to him for her go with him. When she’d talked to Gina about going and having to close the bar down for a while, Gina had suggested that she just wait until he arrived in Nashville and got settled. Once he made it up there he would call her and then she could close up the bar and join him to see how it went.