Spirit Level (24 page)

“But it’s terrible. Right? Barbara and Mark are going to be so upset. I can’t even imagine doing something like that to my moms.”

“I agree, but I don’t think Meredith sees it that way. And I bet Barbara won’t be all that surprised.”

“Should we call her?” Lucy asks.

“Who, Barbara? No,” I say slowly. “It’s between her and Meredith.”

“But she’ll be so worried.”

I sigh. “Yeah. I know. But Alex says they’re going to call her when they’re on the road. She might not even realize they’re gone until then.”

Lucy blows her nose loudly. “Meredith thinks you hate her,” she says.

“I don’t hate her. I just don’t trust her.”

“But she’s your
sister
,” Lucy says, her voice rising on the word. “And she’s not okay. She got discharged from the hospital, but she’s so skinny.”

“Maybe eating Mexican food will fatten her up.”

“Why are you being like that?” Lucy asks.

“Like what?”

“Hard. Mean.”

“I’m not trying to be mean. I’m trying to be…”

“Sensible,” Lucy says. “I know.” It definitely doesn’t sound like a compliment this time. She hangs up, and I toss my phone onto the duvet and burrow under the covers. My last thought before I go back to sleep is, I can’t wait to talk to Gwen.

TWO WEEKS AFTER
school starts, I’m sitting with Gwen at Café Allegro, waiting for Lucy to finish dance class and join us. Nate has made us his “signature” drink, which he calls The Norton after his favorite actor. As far as I can tell, it’s just an iced chai latte, but it’s still good.

“He’s cute,” Gwen says after Nate tells us about his latest role (Action, in a revival of
West Side Story
). “And he likes you.”

“That’s what Lucy says, but I think he’s just a chronic flirt.”

“So why didn’t he offer
me
a ticket to his show?” Gwen says. “Aren’t I hot enough?” She pretend-pouts and sticks out her boobs. I burst out laughing. Gwen looks ridiculously good—she’s in a short black-and-white, pleat-skirted designer dress she bought in Paris
with her new stepmom. “I’m wearing Isabel Marant,” she says, “but I guess your boy Nate prefers whatever you’re calling your look.”

“It’s my new line. I call it ‘Clean-Laundry Couture.’ Who’s Isabel Marant?” I ask.

Gwen rolls her eyes. “Like you care.”

I laugh again. She looks amazing, but out of place in the funky café. “So how was Dominique?”

“Nice, I guess. All she does is shop and eat the tiny, perfect low-carb meals their chef prepares for her. Oh yeah, and go to Pilates. But Dad’s happy. Not that I saw him very much. Too busy making money for Dominique and me to spend. And for alimony and child support.”

I reach over and take her hand. “I’m glad you’re back. Really glad. It’s been insane here.”

“Sounds like it. You’ve, like, lived a whole huge life while I’ve been away. All the time I was in France, I imagined how bored and lonely you must be without me.” She snorts. “Last time I make that mistake.”

“Yeah, I was so bored I found five half-siblings, my donor and a trans boyfriend.”

“So Alex is your boyfriend? Even though he took off for Mexico with your crazy half-sister?”

“Well, maybe not boyfriend. Not yet. But he says he’s definitely coming back, so we’ll see. Apparently Daniel wasn’t all that thrilled when they turned up unannounced. He made Meredith call Barbara so he could discuss the situation with her. Meredith might stay and work at
the clinic for a while. Running the office or something. Alex says she’s a different person in Mexico. Focused. Happy. He thinks it’s because Daniel expects her to contribute something. Help out. Get involved.”

“So that’s good, right? For you and Alex?”

“I hope so. But I’m not holding my breath. Even if he comes back, he might get a call one day from Meredith and be gone again. And there’s the whole trans thing. It’s not exactly simple.”

“Is it ever?” Gwen sighs. “Dominique introduced me to some of her friends in Paris. Her guy friends. They’re only a few years older than Zach, but they’re so—”

“French?”

“Sophisticated. Wine and steak frites, not beer and burgers and fries. And their clothes? Omigod, Harry! Pants that fit. Handmade shoes. Cartier watches. I’m not sure I can go back to baggy jeans and T-shirts.”

“Give it a few weeks,” I say. “And Zach’s not that bad. He’s just not French. Or twenty-two. You’re experiencing culture shock. You’ll get over it.”

“So what about you and Byron? Zach says he’ll be here soon. Does he know about Alex?”

“Yeah. But not that he’s trans. That’s not my story to tell.”

“You told me,” she says.

“But I asked Alex first if it was okay.”

“I get it. So I shouldn’t go around telling everyone at school that your new guy used to be a girl named Danielle?”

“Not if you want to live to shop another day.”

The door of the café opens and Lucy barrels in, coming to a screeching halt in front of us. “Omigod, are you wearing Isabel Marant?” she squeals. When Gwen nods, Lucy drops her bag on the floor, pulls her chair close to Gwen’s and says, “Where did you get it?”

Gwen laughs. “I’m Gwen, by the way. You must be Lucy. And I got it in Paris.”

“I’m going to dance in Paris one day,” Lucy announces. “And shop.”

“You’ll love it,” Gwen says, “as long as you have lots of money. And I mean
lots
. Lucky for me, my dad is loaded. And he feels guilty, so it’s a win-win for me.”

I know she doesn’t really mean it. No closet full of designer clothing can make up for the fact that her dad is gone and her mom is depressed and they had to sell their house and move into an apartment.

As I half-listen to Lucy and Gwen discuss the latest Paris runway fashions, I think about what it will be like to see Byron again. We’ve been talking on the phone a lot. He knows about Alex; I know about a girl named Martha that he hooked up with in New York. He’s coming back for a lot of reasons, he tells me—not just for me. He says he misses the ocean and the air and Zach and the pizza at Delancey and the basketball program at our school and the Space Needle.

But you’ve got the Empire State Building and the Statue of Liberty
, I said the last time we talked.
And pizza
.

Not the same
, he said.
Take my word for it. I’m not ready for New York. Maybe I’ll come back here for college, but for now I need the rain and the green and my friends
.

As I take a sip of my Norton, I realize that Gwen and Lucy have stopped talking and seem to be waiting for me to speak.

“Did I miss something?” I ask. “Other than whether mink is making a comeback in couture?”

“I asked you if you wanted to come for dinner tonight,” Lucy says. “You and Gwen. Angela and Nori are cool with it. They’re going to call your mom. We’ll make pizza on the barbecue. Celebrate the end of summer.”

“I don’t think I can. I’m supposed to have dinner with Annabeth and Verna.”

“They can come too,” Lucy says, her fingers flying over her phone. “The moms won’t mind. Please, Harry.”

“You see what I have to put up with,” I say to Gwen. “Little sisters are such a pain.” I reach out and ruffle Lucy’s hair. She slaps at my hand.

“I can see that,” Gwen replies. I don’t think I’m imagining that she sounds a bit wistful. It’s not like she can talk to her brothers about designer fashion.

Lucy’s phone pings, and she reads the message. “Angela says that’s fine. Harry, can you let Annabeth and Verna know? Then we have to pick up some stuff for the pizza. And your mom needs to get some wine, but Angela will text her.”

We get up and clear our dishes. Nate reminds me to come in next week and pick up my ticket for his show.
As we leave the café, Gwen slings her arm around my shoulders. Lucy bounces along in front of us.

“I’m glad you’re back,” I say. “I missed you.”

“And I’m sorry I missed all the drama. Lucy’s great, and I can’t wait to meet Alex and see Byron again. It’s like a whole love triangle. So romantic.”

“It’s not really a triangle,” I say. “More like a quadrangle. And it’s not very romantic to get punched in the face, let me tell you.”

“I hear you,” Gwen says. “But it’s still an improvement over your usual boring existence. Am I right, Lucy?”

Lucy giggles. “Have you seen what Alex gave her?”

Gwen pokes me. “No, I haven’t. Hope it wasn’t roses. Harry hates roses.”

“Only the kind that come in a box,” I protest. “And he didn’t give me roses. He gave me a spirit level.”

Gwen stops walking. “He gave you a what?”

“A carpenter’s level. An old one. It’s pretty cool.”

“So he gave you, like, an old tool?”

“Yup.”

And suddenly we’re all laughing so hard we can’t speak, and people are stepping around us on the sidewalk and smiling, because really, who can be mad at us? We’re sisters—by blood or not, it doesn’t matter. It’s our prerogative to disrupt the world with our lunacy. I remember what Meredith said when I first met her, about wanting to share her journey with Lucy and me, and I wonder if that will ever happen. I emailed her after Alex told me
that Daniel wasn’t exactly thrilled to see them. I’m not sure why. Maybe it was because of something Annabeth said when we were at the salon one day. I’d been telling her about Meredith, and she stopped sweeping and said,
Don’t you think everyone deserves a second chance?
She didn’t sound judgmental at all—she never does—just curious, as if it was a question she asked herself all the time.

So I wrote to Meredith, very cautiously, asking her to tell me about Mexico. Eventually, she wrote back. We’ve exchanged a few emails since then. We don’t talk about Alex or Daniel. She tells me stories about the kids in the village and how her Spanish is getting better every day. I tell her about finding Annabeth a vocal coach. And now, as I walk down the street with Gwen and Lucy, I wonder what it would be like if Meredith was here with us, laughing like a loon and looking forward to a family dinner. Maybe one day she will be.

Robin Stevenson, Kirsten Larmon and Monique Polak read an early version of
Spirit Level
and provided me with thought-provoking, insightful and often contradictory comments.

Cameron Duder and Leo Forbes Knox helped me to understand what it means to be transgender; Tim Prekaski shared his encyclopedic knowledge of Seattle; the divinely talented Claire Butterfield was my musical director.

Allison Cooper wrote the moving article that is quoted on page 126.

Lu Bittner and the whole Bittner/Silver clan of Bella Coola and Hawaii inspired me to include a transgender character in the story.

Jen Cameron and Maggie de Vries were unfailingly supportive and encouraging, even when I pronounced the book total garbage. My children, Fiona and Christian,
continue to be my biggest fans and a source of much amusement and joy.

The Orca Pod was, as always, a delight to work with, as was the Orca Kennel—Ketch, Mayva, Kira and Nutmeg.

Family dogs Ping-Pong, Scout, Kingsley and Cocoa (
RIP
) reminded me that sleeping in the sunshine and chasing your own tail are perfectly acceptable life goals.

The
BC
Arts Council’s generous support made it possible for me to meet my self-imposed deadlines.

And finally, Barbara Pulling, editor extraordinaire, guided me through the dark woods of numerous revisions. Without her, this book might well have been total garbage.

Thank you, one and all.

SARAH N. HARVEY
is the author of numerous books for children and teens. She lives in Victoria, British Columbia, where she works as a children’s-book editor. For more information, go to
www.sarahnharvey.com
.