Spirit Ascendancy (19 page)

“What am I doing wrong?” I asked, looking around me. “This is the spot I envisioned, and I think I’m imagining myself along the path, too, like you said. Any pointers?”

Irina sighed and came to rest beside me, with all the air of a teenager forced to babysit a small and obnoxious sibling. “Do you really wish to spend your energy on such trifles?”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

Irina waved a dismissive hand around the enclosure. “This is not worth your time. You are destined to Walk the wider world, are you not?”

I hesitated. “I’m not sure. I think so. I’m still hoping I won’t have to Walk at all, at least as far as the prophecy is concerned.”

“You cannot hope to truly appreciate the joys and freedoms of Walking until you are free. I mean entirely free, without the boundaries of this larger cage to confine you.”

We both stiffened at a small but obvious atmospheric disturbance within our little bubble. Irina’s chin perked up, her nose into the air like a predator scenting blood.

“What was that? Did you feel it?”

“Oh, that,” I said, keeping my tone offhand. “Yes, they’re adding protection to the enclosure today.”

Irina stared at me, nostrils flaring. “Adding protection? What else could they possibly come up with to keep us trapped? Every inch of it is crawling with runes to keep us here.”

“Oh no, not protection to keep us in,” I invented wildly. “Protection from outside attack. The Caomhnóir have intelligence that the Necromancers may be closing in on my location, and they want to make sure we’re protected if they find us.”

Irina cocked her head to one side. “They want you that badly?”

“Yes, actually, they do,” I said, confident at least that this wasn’t a lie.

“What is it about you, Northern girl? What is it that makes you so great and terrible?”

I shuddered. “Nothing. My sister is the great and terrible one.”

“But they fear you.”

“I’m nothing. It’s Hannah they should fear. They might look at her and think she’s just a helpless little thing, but they have no idea what they’re dealing with.”

A strange sensation came over me. It was as though a fog settled over my new form, fading the rainbow colors, dulling my razor-sharp perceptions to a sluggish, intoxicated haze.

“What’s happening?” I managed to slur, but my question was lost in Irina’s shriek of indignation.

“Who are you? What are you doing here?” she cried, pointing a shaking finger at something far below us.

I turned with great effort and struggled to focus on what she was seeing. In the far corner of the enclosure, Milo had entered and was crouching like a thief next to my body, one hand extended into my chest as though he were reaching in to grasp me by the heart.

At the sound of Irina’s cry, Milo pulled his hand back, and instantly my vision and thoughts became razor sharp again. Even in my agitation, as I thought what to say to explain Milo’s appearance, I realized that we had discovered a potential problem. If Milo’s presence in my body was going to cause such a compromised, disoriented state of being for me while I was Walking, that could spell trouble for whatever challenges I would face in this form.

But that was a problem for another moment. Right now, Irina looked ready to fly at Milo, claws outstretched. I placed myself clumsily between them.

“It’s alright, Irina,” I said, in as calm and reassuring a tone as I could. “That’s just Milo. He’s my spirit guide, and he’s part of the protection I was talking about.”

“Spirit guide?” She was glaring at Milo like she didn’t believe a word of it.

“Yup, that’s me,” Milo said. “Just your friendly neighborhood spirit guide. Nice to meet you.”

Irina totally ignored him, and turned back to me. “But he’s a ghost! What is he doing in here? How did he get in? I’ve been over every inch of this place. They’ve completely warded it against outside spirits.”

“I’m not sure. The others must have let him in somehow,” I said, shrugging in an offhanded sort of way. Flavia had told me that the breech for Milo to enter would last only a few seconds, so I knew that, by the time Irina had noticed him, the only chance of escape had already been sealed back up.

“But then,” she lit up like a firework, “there must be a way out! If he’s gotten in…” And she began to rocket around so fast that she was merely a blur, pausing only to probe at the confines of the space.

“I don’t think so,” I said, dizzy from watching her progress. It was manic, desperate. “They’re pretty determined to keep us in here. I don’t think they would allow any sort of loophole.”

“But then, how will he get out again?” she moaned, creeping along the bottom edge, like she’d dropped something irreplaceable in the grass there. She turned a mad-eyed, feral look on Milo, who moved back in alarm. “Do you intend to stay here forever, spirit guide?”

“No, not forever,” he said, and looked at me for help.

“Well then,” Irina said, and in the space of half a second she was beside him, almost offensively close to his face. “You’re the one I ought to cozy up to, aren’t you? Because when you go, I’m going, too.”

“I… well, that’s not exactly how it works,” Milo said.

Even as I rushed to help him, a part of me was amused to see him so clearly intimidated by Irina. His general level of sass usually meant he was very hard to intimidate.

“Irina, he’s not going out as a spirit. You won’t be able to cross with him.”

Irina rounded on me. “What do you mean? What other form could he take?”

But I could not answer. Milo finally snapped out of his panic enough to do what he was supposed to do, and vanished into my body. I was overcome with the same dizzying sensation as before, so powerful that I hardly knew where I was or how to regain my bearings.

I tried to focus and saw my own eyes staring back at me.

It was probably good that my vision was hazy or I might have panicked completely. There was my face, not as I was used to seeing it in a reflection. And though the features were familiar, something alien was staring out at me from my own eyes, some other person’s expression twisted my mouth. That person chuckled, and I heard his voice wrapped in the cloak of my own.

“Wow. So this is what it’s like to be you,” Milo said from behind the timbre of my own voice. “No offense, but it feels really weird.”

I tried to respond, but I could hardly wrap my mouth around the words. I also couldn’t hear myself think; Irina was screaming at the top of her lungs, absolutely beside herself about what Milo had just done.

“Impossible!” she was shrieking. “The Walker’s body is protected from possession. What is this witchcraft? What are you? How are you doing that?”

Milo, who seemed a little braver now that my skin stood between them, addressed Irina. “Calm down, would you? I’m her spirit guide, remember? It’s one of the perks of the job.”  Then to me he said, lifting an arm clumsily in front of his (my) face. “It’s hard to move it. It’s like I forget how to drive one of these things.”

“It will come back to you,” I stammered. “Just hurry up and try to walk it across the grass so we can get out of here.”

“Are you okay?”

“I can’t think or see straight when you’re in there. So just hurry up,” I said again.

Irina was shouting something in her terrified confusion. I made out the words, “impossible” and “demon-spirit.”

“Can’t you shut her up?” Milo asked from somewhere nearby. “I’m kind of busy here.” I watched as my body was attempting to rise into a seated position.

“Irina, it’s okay! I told you, he’s my spirit guide! I know him! I trust him! Stop shouting!”

“What is her problem?” Milo spoke through my mouth, with my voice.

“She was always taught her body was safe from other spirits while she was Walking. What you’re doing shouldn’t be possible, as far as she’s ever known,” I said, trying not to look at him. Watching my body move without my consent seemed to make me feel worse. Summoning all my strength, I moved away from him, closer to Irina, who was now skittering around the far side of the enclosure like a bird trapped behind glass.

“Irina, he’s just practicing, do you understand? Listen to me! We’re connected, and that’s why he’s able to enter my body. No other spirit could do it. He needs to practice, so he can move and protect my body if I ever needed it,” I said, speaking much more slowly than usual so that I could concentrate on keeping the words clear. The slow pace of my speech had the added effect of slowing Irina down as she listened. By the time I had finished, she was moving only a few feet side to side, eyes darting from me to Milo, who was now clumsily willing my body to stand up.

“I have never heard of this. You are connected?” she asked, her tone still skeptical.

“Yes,” I said. “He’s Bound to my sister, and pledged as spirit guide to our Gateway. Spirit guides are the only exception to the soul catcher’s protection of the body from habitation. They probably never mentioned it to you because you had no spirit guide, so it didn’t matter.”

She had slowed to a stop now. “What of your Caomhnóir? Why can’t he protect you?”

The guilt and worry rocked through me in this new form, more deeply than I’d ever felt it. “He’s gone. We argued, and I don’t know where he is or if he’s ever coming back. I can’t count on his protection now.”

“Hey!” I heard my own voice shout. “Hey, Jess! Take a look! I think I’ve got the hang of it. Shit, this feels weird!”

I chanced a glance back at Milo and instantly regretted it. I had only the shortest look at my own figure, tottering like a drunkard in a weaving pattern across the enclosure before my vision became so clouded and blurred that if I’d had a digestive system, I would have emptied it heartily.

“Hurry up!” I said, the words barely distinguishable. “I’m really not feeling well. I seriously can’t even watch you.”

“Okay, okay. I’m walking back now. I’ll tell you when I’m done.”

I could tell even through my blurred and fuzzy vision that Irina was laser-focused on me. “How is he leaving?”

“In my body.”

“Then how are you going to get out?”

“I’m going in my body, too.”

Irina laughed, though I couldn’t see what was funny. “You cannot occupy the same body together.”

“We can,” I said. “We’ve done it before.”

“Two spirits within one body? Can this be?” Irina whispered. She was staring down at my body, presumable making its way back toward the entrance with Milo inside.

“Yes,” I said, still totally distracted. “Now please stop talking so I can concentrate.”

Finally, I heard myself call, “Okay, Jess, I’m ready for you. Are you okay?”

“I think so. Please tell me you’re finished.”

“Yeah, I think I’ve figured it out. Let’s get out of here.”

“Thank God. I’m coming.”

It happened before I could stop it. Irina was looking from me to the body, her expression intense but unreadable. And then she streaked with terrifying purpose, toward my body below.

“No! Stop!” I fought desperately to gain my bearings, to force my own being into motion, but I could barely bring my destination into focus.

I watched in helpless horror as Irina tried to force her way into my body, which jerked and writhed, as my mouth opened and screamed with a pain I could neither feel nor comprehend. I gathered every particle of strength I had and launched toward it.

I hit it with a force that felt almost physical, though of course I had no physical form any more, and seemed to bounce off. My body was screaming, but it was not actually my pain, I realized, but Irina’s pain channeled through me. And I could see her, faintly, pressing herself against the boundaries of my being, battering herself against the door that was locked against her.

“You can’t get in, Irina!” I shouted. “You’re only torturing yourself. Get away from here, now!”

“No!” I could hear her moan, even as my mouth spoke her words. “I must escape. I cannot stay here! Take me with you in this cage!”

“We can’t!” I shouted, and with a shudder, I heard Milo, muffled and struggling as she continued to attempt to break in.

“Get out of here, you crazy bitch! You know how it works! You can’t get in here, and you’ll only damage yourself trying!” he cried.

I gathered my strength again, though what I was going to do with it, I had no idea. I just knew I needed to put as much distance as I could between Irina and my body. I needed to enter it again. But could I, when she was attacking it like this?”

“Milo, brace yourself. I’m coming back,” I said.

“Just get us out of here!” he called back.

Irina’s strength was fading. She knew it, and fought even harder, hurling herself against my walls with another volley of blows.

I did it instinctively, because I had absolutely no idea what else to do. I concentrated on the space where Irina was, imagined myself inhabiting it, and propelled myself forward with every bit of power I had left. I felt our spirit forms collide, felt her expelled from my body, and in the same moment felt my spirit and body reconnect to each other.

The screams ripping from my throat transformed from sound to sensation as my senses came flooding back into my control. I stifled them at once, biting back sobs as I readjusted to feeling, to pain, to the darker side of having a physical form. I opened my eyes and saw Irina huddled in a faded, flickering, heaving mass on the ground. She was paler than I’d ever seen her, and she seemed utterly unable to do anything but lay and cry quietly. Her form was barely distinguishable from the ground on which it twitched and shuddered.

“Milo?” I asked, not aloud, but inside my own head, which felt huge and unwieldy, like someone had strapped a ten pound weight to it in my absence.

“I’m here,” he mumbled. “What the hell happened?”

“Irina’s gone,” I said, the thought transferring from me to him almost seamlessly. “I forced her out when I entered.

“I… she… that was bad,” he said.

“Did she hurt you?”

“She hurt you, I think,” Milo said. “At least, I was feeling real pain, so I think it must have been physical.”

“Yeah, I still hurt,” I said, tentatively moving my fingers and toes, arms and legs. “But I think I’m okay. Wow, that was really… fucked up. I can’t believe she…”