Spires of Infinity (49 page)

through
her
to get to it!”

“That is the closest I could create a Gate without any gravitational interference.

There’s no way of telling where and when you would end up if you stepped through a Gate that was made in the distortion field.”

Gabriel nodded with an annoyed growl.

Getting back to her feet, the Apostle didn’t even limp. There was no pain in her expression, and her eyes had gone blank again. Her wrist seemed completely healed as well, and the hole in her ear was gone. Regarding the Gate for a second, she turned back to Gabriel and raised an eyebrow.

“I’m going to destroy this place,” Gabriel said to her. “But I have a way of

balancing things so that it doesn’t get out of control and destroy all of creation. Will you let me pass?”

“I wish I could, but he won’t let me,” the Apostle hissed. “Your bullets may have chased him away, but the wounds are healed and he is back!”

Raising his weapons, Gabriel looked down at his injured leg. If they fought, he would lose. He could not run past her to the Gate, nor would she stand aside. He either had to kill her before hitting the E key, or hit it and pray that he could dodge past her to the Gate before the containment field went down. With his wounds, neither option looked particularly feasible.

Abruptly the Apostle slashed her sword across her own arm. Turning, she dashed for the Gate so fast that she seemed to blur.

“
No
,” Gabriel cried as he turned back to the console, jamming his finger down on the Enter key repeatedly. He prayed to god that it shut the Gate down like the one Sam had gone through. The Apostle growled in rage as the crackling of the Gate cut off abruptly.

“What are you doing,” Allie shrieked in his ear. “That was our only way home!

It will take ten minutes to input another Gate Jump. This computer does not save previous jump data like the mainframe does!”

“Sorry Allie, but I can’t let her get away. If she escapes she’ll just find another way, and I can’t allow that. I can’t let her get away. A dead man may not be able to do much to redeem himself, but at least I can make my death count for something. I’m sorry you’re stuck in it too.”

“You are right. I know that you are. But I was
so
close to surviving this. Do you have any idea how frustrating that is!”

“Oh, I know. Believe me, I know.”

Turning back to the Apostle, Gabriel found her lifted up on her tiptoes by some unseen force. Her back was arched and she bared her teeth. Her struggles to free herself were futile, and her arms were abruptly pulled tightly in different directions. As she whimpered in pain, Gabriel could hear her joints popping.

“I obey,” the Apostle wheezed. “Release me!”

“What the hell,” Gabriel whispered.

As the Apostle dropped to the ground, she gasped for air.

Raising his weapons, Gabriel limped forward. He noticed that there were notches cut into the barrel of his pistol from where he’d used it to block the Apostle’s sword.

Every step caused excruciating pain to shoot up his injured leg, but he walked forward to look his fate in the eye.

“Come on, crazy bitch. Let’s finish this!”

He supposed he still had a fighting chance, especially since the Apostle did not look well after whatever had just happened to her. If things went bad all he had to do was jump back and hit the E key before she killed him.

Chapter 42: The Reason Some are Chosen

Wracked with pain, the Apostle could not understand why Cain had not fled. If a paper cut could chase him away for a few seconds, then why not the total agony she was in now? Examining the pain in her body, she found that she was not actually in pain, her body only thought that it was, because Cain was making her think she felt it. It was hard to tell the difference, but it was there.

On top of that, her body was still weak and sluggish from having her connection to the first gunman broken so abruptly. Her bones almost seemed to vibrate, turning her muscles to jelly. Something deep down inside of her had broken, and it was wreaking havoc with her entire body and mind.

Forcing herself to her feet after Cain’s latest onslaught, the Apostle eyed the gunman. He’d drawn her blood, and for that she respected him. She had no wish to kill him, but what she wanted seemed to matter little now.

In her state, the Apostle was not certain she could defeat her opponent. If the fight continued much longer, she was going to lose to a mere human. Who would avenge the other Subjects then?

“Come on, crazy bitch,” the gunman limped a couple steps forward to meet her.

“Let’s finish this!”

Growling in frustration, the Apostle raised her sword. All of her plans and

desires, all of her anger and rage, they seemed so meaningless now. Looking death in the face, she found she was helpless before it. They’d likely kill each other and nothing would be accomplished for either side of the conflict.

“Why do you insist on doing this,” the gunman asked.

“I have no choice,” the Apostle replied, surprised at how rough her voice was. “If I disobey, my master will force me to complete my mission through his control over me.”

“A dead man can’t do much,” the gunman said, seeming to think twice about

attacking her again. “I realize that now. But if I can ensure that Cain fails and remove his minion from the picture in the same blow, I’ll count it a fair trade. When I push that button we both die, and Sam lives on in paradise.”

“I became the Apostle to destroy the Council! I care about nothing else. If I die here, who will go on in my place? The other Subjects are gone. I’m the last.”

“I’ve no idea what you’re talking about, but I do understand revenge. Even still, I can’t let you succeed. I’m sorry, but this is the end.”

Swaying as dizziness pounded her, the Apostle felt as though she was going to

vomit.

“Forget this,” the gunman said. “I’ve had enough punishment for one night. It’s over. Kiss your ass goodbye.”

Turning to the console behind him, he reached for the keyboard.

“Stop,” the Apostle cried, frantically reaching out with her powers. Looking

through him, into him, she could see his heart laid before her like the pages of a book.

She knew his name. She could see the hidden secret in his heart so dark that he’d crafted false memories to keep himself from facing the truth.

“You murdered your own father,” the Apostle slammed her power into Gabriel

harder than she’d hit anyone before, forcing him to face the hidden truth that he’d been running away from since his childhood.

*****

Freezing at those words, Gabriel shuddered.

“No,” he whispered, fighting away flashes of memory that could not possibly be real. He saw a knife flashing bloody in dim light. His father’s mutilated corpse. Blood soaking into the carpet. “That wasn’t how it happened. I couldn’t do it. I didn’t have what it takes. He left and I never saw him again.”

“That’s what you want to believe, the lie that you want to be true because the truth is too painful.”

“You weren’t there,” Gabriel protested. Unable to force the image of the heavy butcher’s knife cleaving through his father’s wrist from his mind. What was she doing to him! He could feel her inside his head, rooting around in his memories, showing him horrible,
horrible
things. “You don’t know what happened! He was
killing
her.”

“So you took up the knife that your mother was using to prepare your meal with.

You threatened him.”

“But I couldn’t do it.”

“Oh, but you
did
do it. Look into the place in your heart that you never dared before. You know my words to be true. Your father raised his arm to strike your mother again and you cut his hand off.”

“No,” Gabriel whimpered. “I dropped the knife. I’m sure of it.”

It was hard to describe what was going on in his mind. There were the memories of that night he’d had all his life like the reflection in a mirror, but as he looked closer at them, he could see through, like mirrored glass, to the dark and horrible things that lay beyond. Which were the true memories? Which of the two scenarios had actually happened that night? He couldn’t tell. The Apostle’s influence over him was making it impossible for him to think rationally about it. The more she spoke, the more he began to believe what she was saying, and the clearer the image behind the image became.

“Then you threw yourself on him, stabbing and slashing like an enraged beast.

His blood and viscera flew everywhere. When the police finally arrived because the neighbors called to complain, they found you sitting on the couch next to the mutilated body in shock, covered head to toe with blood.”

“That wasn’t how it happened,” Gabriel cried, looking up at her. “I didn’t kill him! He left us. He walked out on us and never came back!”

“You murdered him and you know it. Stop hiding from yourself and face what

you’ve done!”

Looking down at his hands, Gabriel’s eyes widened at the sight of hot blood—his father’s blood—coating his arms up to the elbows like gory sleeves. What was she doing to him!

“You know it to be true.”

And he
did
know it to be true. He knew that the things she was showing him were the true way that events had unfolded that night. He’d been so shocked by what he’d done that he’d convinced himself that his father had simply left. After a while he’d begun to believe it, his mind creating memories to hide the real ones so he wouldn’t have to face what he’d done, what he was and had always been since the day he was born. He was a murderer, no better than the scum he’s represented in court, feeling so superior to.

“I-I killed him.”

“Yes. And your mother has been frightened of you since that day. Hasn’t she?”

“She couldn’t deal with it, and they put her in a mental hospital, and sent me to foster care.”

“You killed your father, and you drove your mother insane.”

“I saved her life!”

“Repent of your sins,” the Apostle commanded. “Kill yourself. It is the only way to make things right again.”

A shudder ran through Gabriel, and his eyes moved from his pistol in one hand to his knife in the other. Her words were so strong, so powerful. Her voice rang through his head like a bell. He couldn’t conceive of doing anything but obeying.

The voice of Gabriel’s father taunted him, joining the continuing echo of the

Apostle’s commands. His disembodied voice demanded Gabriel’s life for the sins that he’d committed, shouting at him with feverish intensity.

The hand with the pistol twitched toward his head, but stopped.

It was Sam’s voice, Sam’s face in his mind, that stayed his hand. He could hear her talking to him. He could feel her near him. He remembered what she’d told him about killing to protect yourself.

I realized something very important. I deserve to live too. Because someone’s
bigger and stronger than me doesn’t mean he has the right to hurt me, rape me, kill me. I
have to the right to defend and live my life. I deserve to be happy and safe, and no one
else has the right to take that from me. If God, or the Father Sun and Celestial Mother,
or whoever else is waiting for me at the end, has a problem with that, they can go to hell.

Sometimes you meet bad people, and they won’t stop trying to hurt you until they’re
dead. In my opinion, if that happens, the sin is on them, not me. Defending yourself and
those you care about is not a bad thing, even if you have to kill to do it.

When you don’t have anything to lose, you’ve got everything to gain.
Kari’s voice, replacing Sam’s in his head.
What if you are a hero, and you just didn’t realize it.

Most don’t, you know. Sometimes you just have to trust in yourself and put one foot in
front of the other.

It was like a single ray of sunshine penetrating through the angry storm that was clouding his mind to shine upon Gabriel. Though small and seemingly insignificant compared to the storm, it bathed him in warmth and light.

Remember, you promised to come back safe and sound. You promised. I’ll be
waiting for you.

“Sam,” Gabriel wheezed, and the spell was broken. He felt like a puppet whose strings had just been cut. He started to drop to his knees before he caught himself and straightened.

His eyes moved to the gun in his hand, halfway raised to his own head. What had he been about to do? The Apostle shattered the false memories he’d constructed to hide the horrors of what he’d done as a child to protect himself and his mother from the monster that terrorized them so often, and she’d somehow used his anguish and confusion to control him. How was she doing it? It was as if she’d been making him dance on strings woven of his own horror and despair. He could feel her in his mind, and with a mighty mental effort, Gabriel threw off the Apostle’s control. He cut all of the evil little strings she’d attached to his heart, eyes narrowing on her in anger.

“What the hell are you doing to me,” he growled, raising his pistol to point at her.

“Stay back and keep your Jedi mind tricks to yourself. I
will
complete my mission here.”

“You can’t do it,” the Apostle said as Gabriel turned away from her, finger

reaching toward the E key on the keyboard. “You’re too selfish, arrogant and self-centered for that. A sociopath like you believes that the greatest crime in the universe is depriving it of yourself. Pressing that button would mean depriving everyone else of the most truly marvelous lawyer that has ever lived.”

Shaking his head, Gabriel straightened. Now that he knew how she was affecting him, it was easy to ignore. He knew what he was. He knew all of the horrible things he’d done to earn himself a place in hell. He
knew
he was a sinner, and he accepted that fact. It was one of the hardest things he’d ever had to do, seeing himself as he truly was, and accepting it. In doing so he gave the Apostle, and his past sins, no power over him.