Speed of My Heart (4 page)

"Oh my God, Mara!" Sadie screeched. "That asshole cornered you in a parking lot? Wait until Jack hears about this. He's going to beat Marcus' ass."

We were sitting on my front porch, drinking some of my grandma’s famous lemonade, and killing time before the nine o'clock movie we were planning on seeing. As expected, Sadie had freaked when I told her about Marcus' attempt to talk to me. Everyone in town had heard how Marcus had given me a concussion last year. While most had offered their support, there were others who still saw Marcus as the town's star quarterback, and just didn't want to believe anything bad about him. It didn't help my case that Marcus was the picture of a southern gentleman ninety percent of the time. There had been very few people who had witnessed his abusive side. Personally, I didn't care what the town believed. I just wanted to move on with my life. And I had been doing a damn good job of forgetting he ever existed… until this morning.

"Look, Sadie," I said calmly. "There's no reason for Jack to go defending me. I think I handled Marcus pretty well all by myself. You should have seen the look on his face when I pushed him away from me. I think he was in shock that I had finally stood up for myself. Hopefully, he realizes that I'm not the same timid person I used to be."

Sadie didn't look convinced. She studied me for a minute. "Yeah, well as long as he stays away from you... I guess it'll be fine. But you have to tell me if he confronts you again. I don't think you should have to put up with his crap at all."

I gave her a reassuring smile and then decided to divert her attention away from the subject of Marcus altogether.

"Sooo,” I said, tempting her with her favorite subject, “you might be interested to know that I met a
really
hot guy yesterday." As predicted, Sadie's eyes sparkled with interest and she seemed to be thoroughly diverted 
for now at least. "I met him at the cafe in Jamestown,” I continued. “You know, the one I stop at for coffee? His name's Cole," I said, pausing for effect. "And, I even gave him my number."

For the normal girl, that may not be a big deal. For me, it was unheard of. I couldn't keep the huge smile from spreading across my face. It was a natural reaction every time I thought about meeting Cole. I hadn't expected to ever meet a guy I liked so much right off the bat. Not only was he exceedingly handsome, but he seemed genuinely nice as well. And, even better, the attraction between us was crazy strong.

Sadie's eyes were alight with excitement. She had been nagging me to date since Marcus and I split. I think she was secretly scared that he had scarred me to the point I'd never move on. Really, I had been content to focus on myself after such a draining relationship, and I hadn't met anyone that made me want to change that… until yesterday.

"Okay," she prompted. "So his name is Cole. Where is he from?"

"North Carolina," I answered. "But, get this. He's Jack's cousin, up for a visit."

Sadie's mouth dropped open. "Cole Davenport?! You gave Cole Davenport,
the
hottest NASCAR driver to ever grace the track, your telephone number?" She shook her head at me smiling. "You are one lucky bitch."

I hit her arm playfully. "Hey! You're taken. And besides, he hasn't called me yet." I shrugged a shoulder. "Maybe he won't." I was trying to act nonchalant about it, but he’d been on my mind ever since I walked out of the coffee shop yesterday.

"Hmmm." Sadie chewed on her lip thoughtfully. "Maybe I can get Jack to call him and see what he thinks about you."

I gasped in horror. "Don't you dare. We're not in high school anymore, Sadie. If Cole wants to see me again, he'll call. He's only here for a little over a month anyway, so don't get your hopes up that I'll fall into a relationship."

Sadie smirked knowingly. "Who said anything about a relationship? I think a hot and heavy whirlwind romance is exactly what you need."

Shaking my head at her in mock disbelief, I stood up. "I just bet you do." I pointed my finger at her. "I'm warning you, Sadie McAllister. No getting Jack to ask him about me. I'd prefer to see how things unfold without any intervention on your part. Got it, missy?"

Sadie, who was wearing her most innocent look, held her hands up in mock surrender. "Gotcha."

I just rolled my eyes. I knew Sadie too well. She'd be on the phone with Jack before she could pull out of my driveway.

*  *  *

It had been two days since giving Cole my number, and still no call. I had kind of chalked it up to maybe he wasn't as interested as he’d seemed, or maybe he decided not to start something he couldn't finish. Either way, I wasn't going to waste time pondering it. Maybe it was for the best; it probably wouldn’t have lasted anyway. I carried my dance bag in one hand and my keys in the other as I made my way down the long hallway to the room I reserved to practice in. I was just rounding the corner, when Miranda called to me from behind. I stopped and waited for her to catch up.

She had her long, sandy blond hair braided around her head and was wearing nude tights and a black leotard and skirt. Miranda taught most of the beginning classes and spent even more time at the studio than me. 

She eyed me with interest before saying, "You're determined to make that university dance squad, huh?"

The question made me feel a little awkward considering she hadn't had the grades or test scores to get into any of the colleges she’d applied to. She had brushed it off, saying that not being on a dance team herself would give her the opportunity to have more time to teach dance instead. Had someone else told me that, I probably would have believed it. Her? Not so much. I had known the girl since she was three. It had been an obsession of hers to dance professionally for as long as I could remember, and it was hard to believe that it didn't bother her that things hadn’t panned out.

"Yeah," I responded. "I am. But, really, I don't feel like my day’s complete until I’ve danced for a few hours. I would much rather do this than spend two hours working out at a gym. I do it mostly because I love it. It wouldn't matter if I was trying out for a team or not."

Miranda smiled warmly and said, "I couldn't agree more. The dance studio is more home to me than home."

I nodded. It was silly but, even though we'd danced together since we were little, there’d been an element of competitiveness that had always seemed to float in the air around us. I certainly didn't feel the need to compete with Miranda, but nevertheless; it was there. Maybe because I didn’t think it would bother her one bit for me to mess up at something. It made me feel bad to even think that way; especially as friendly as she always was to me.

I started to inch my way into the room, not wanting to be rude, but more than ready for her to be on her way. When the urge to dance hit me, I didn’t like to be held up.

"Oh, and by the way,” she informed me, pausing on the threshold of the room and giving me a nonchalant shrug, “your ex, Marcus, stopped by here about an hour ago. It's a shame things didn't work out for the two of you. I mean, he's so good looking and
so
nice." She glanced down at my dance bag. "But then again, you've always put everything and everyone on the back burner for dance, so I guess it isn't surprising that he moved on." She’d said it jokingly, but I couldn’t bring myself to laugh it off.

I finally managed to smile back, determined not to let her know that her comment had bothered me. I had never confided the true nature of my and Marcus' relationship to her, so she had no idea about his abusive tendencies. If she wanted to think I was at fault for the breakup, then so be it. What really upset me even more than her deduction, was the fact that Marcus had been to the studio. When we were dating, he’d made it a habit to sit in his truck outside, waiting for me to leave. Something that I could now see was a method of controlling me; making sure I didn't go anywhere else or talk to anyone else. And now, just hearing he was hanging around my sanctuary, was robbing the safe, peaceful feeling I usually had when I was here. And what was worse, I had the growing suspicion that Marcus was not going to leave me alone
and that scared me more than anything.

I turned away from Miranda and headed into the room. I was going to need the therapeutic effect that dancing had on me: today more than ever. "Thank you for letting me know," I replied politely. I didn‘t feel like having to explain the whole Marcus situation to Miranda, so I just kept my mouth shut and pretended that what she said hadn‘t bothered me.

I set my bag down in front of the wall of mirrors, looking up to meet Miranda's blue-gray eyes in the mirror.  

"Anytime," she said, her voice soft and pensive. I watched as she turned and disappeared down the hallway.

I chewed on my bottom lip, feeling like somehow she had gotten the upper hand in the conversation; probably without her even realizing it. My stomach was in knots now that I knew Marcus was back and completely disregarding my wishes to be left alone.

With determination, I went to the cd player and turned on a song that fit my mood: Krwling, by Linkin Park. I needed music that would allow me to work off the growing anxiousness that was settling in my chest. I needed to finish this workout drained of any nervous energy, so that maybe I wouldn't have any left to panic with.

Two hours later, I was thoroughly exhausted and feeling a lot more in control of everything. That was exactly why I would never stop dancing if I could help it; it fixed me on the inside. The physical benefits were just an added bonus.

As I stepped outside, I couldn't help myself from darting glances around the parking lot, looking for any sign that Marcus might be hanging around. I hated I even had to entertain thoughts of him anymore.

I unlocked my car and climbed in, immediately locking the door behind me. I was just clicking my seatbelt into place when the ring of my cell phone caused me to jump. Not recognizing the number, I debated on whether to answer it or not. Usually, I would just let the call go to voicemail, but part of me still hoped it would be Cole.

"Hello?" I finally answered.

I was relieved when I recognized Cole's deep, sexy voice. One day was all it took to ingrain it in my mind forever.

"Hi, Mara. I was starting to think you weren't going to answer," he joked.

Despite the stressful day I'd had so far, excitement was fluttering in my chest at just hearing his voice.

"And I was starting to think you couldn't remember my name," I countered playfully.

Cole laughed. "I'm afraid I haven't thought of much else in the past three days. With your number in plain view and all."

I couldn't help but giggle. "Yeah, I probably shouldn't have done that. Sorry." Except, I couldn’t bring myself to be sorry at all.

"No, I'm glad you did. I like thinking about you,” he admitted.  “But I'd like it even more if I could see you... tonight."

I couldn't suppress the huge smile that was spreading across my face. "Okay, what did you have in mind?"

"What would you say to doing something casual. Burgers and milkshakes sound alright to you?" he asked.

"Would you believe you just named my absolute favorite meal?" The guy had just earned some serious brownie points.

"Uh, actually, no," he said, eyeing me skeptically. "That's kinda hard to believe. You don't look like you eat much junk food. Thought maybe I was introducing you to a new food type."

"Puh-lease. I could probably out eat you. I just spent the last two hours dancing my ass off."

There was a beat of silence before Cole said, "Now that's something I'd like to see."

And
I
liked the way his voice dropped an octave when he said that.

"Maybe you will." I paused for a second. "Do you want to meet me at the diner?"

"No, I'll pick you up about six. Jack gave me directions to your house."

Alarm bells rang in my head. So, he had talked to Jack about me, huh? I wondered if Sadie had put Jack up to calling Cole, but shrugged it off. I was used to dealing with Sadie’s over-eagerness. I guess it didn't really matter anyway.

"Okay, then," I said, relieved he couldn‘t see me grinning ridiculously from ear to ear. "I'll see you later."

"Bye, Mara.” I was becoming slightly obsessed with the sexy sound of his voice. If he ever left me a voicemail, I was
so
saving it.

I ended the call and put my phone away. I felt school-girl giddy when I hung up; something that was completely new for me. Clearly, I hadn’t been dating the right guys. Not only was Cole a perfect ten in the looks department, but I loved the way he made me feel: beautiful and important. It made me realize
that
feeling had been missing in my past relationships. I always seemed to pick the ones that made me feel the opposite about myself. Now I was realizing just how attractive nice guys could be.

*  *  *

I glanced out my bedroom window, making sure there was no sign of Cole yet. I'd been suckered into helping in the garden when I got home, and now I was running behind. Setting my hair straightener down, I applied some lipstick with just a hint of pink, and then surveyed my appearance. I was happy with the way the multicolored, patterned miniskirt showed off my tan legs, making them look long and toned. I had thrown on a drapey white tee and a pair of nude-colored ballet flats . The outfit was casual enough without looking overdone. We were just going out for hamburgers, but I wanted to feel prettier than I would wearing my usual shorts and tank top. This outfit fit the bill perfectly.

My breath lodged in my throat when I saw a red jeep coming down the long gravel path to our house. My heart picked up it's pace a bit, and I glanced in the mirror one last time. As usual, the satisfied feeling I'd just had seconds before was replaced with doubt. All of the sudden, I was worried my outfit wasn't right, my hair was too flat, or maybe I should have put more lipstick on? I wished desperately that I could steal some of Sadie‘s confidence. She was always so sure of herself, it didn’t matter what she was wearing. Me? I dissected myself, seeing all kinds of flaws that may or may not be there. There had been a time, before Marcus, that I'd been carefree and confident. Unfortunately, I had yet to completely recover my self esteem from that tumultuous year of my life. Marcus had been quick with cut-downs and insults, especially it seemed, if I’d made an extra effort.

“Asshole,” I muttered to myself, and then groaned  in frustration. Why was I even thinking about that idiot? He didn’t deserve it. I grabbed my pocketbook and headed downstairs.

*  *  *

It took just one look at Cole's face to realize that my earlier anxieties had been completely unfounded.

Cole was talking with my Grandpa when I rounded the corner into the foyer. Once he caught sight of me, his appraising eyes lit with appreciation, slowly working there way down my body, before coming back up to meet my eyes. It was obvious he liked what he saw, and I felt most of the insecurities I’d been harboring minutes before dissolve under his appreciative gaze. When my grandpa saw that Cole's attention had been diverted, he turned around to greet me.

"And there she is now," my grandfather said with pride. "Mara, you look lovely, as usual."

Cole winked at me, and I had to bite my lip to stop from smiling. I took his reaction as a sign that he agreed.

Grandpa turned his attention back to Cole. "You take good care of her tonight," he instructed. "She's had some bad experiences in the past."

I froze, mortified that my grandfather would even refer to the whole Marcus debacle, let alone on a first date. It would open me up to all kinds of questions about the past I didn‘t feel like getting into.

Cole gave me an inquisitive glance, but I just focused my attention on my grandfather, determined to end the conversation and get out of the house as quickly as possible.

"Okay, well, I'll see you later Grandpa,” I inserted quickly. I looked over at Cole. “We should probably get going."

Cole stuck his hand out to my grandpa, shaking it, before saying, "Nice to meet you, sir. I'll take good care of Mara."

I loved that Cole and my grandfather seemed to genuinely like each other. That was definitely a good sign.

Grandpa clasped him on the back. "Yes, I do think you will,” he mused. “Stop back by sometime. I'd like to finish our discussion on hydraulics.”

I all but rolled my eyes at that. If Cole stopped by to talk mechanics with Grandpa, he'd be there all day. Then again, that didn't sound so bad at all. Unless, of course, grandpa decided to regal him with stories of my past.

Cole led me out to his Jeep, giving me a hand climbing into the passenger’s side. The jeep had a lift, causing the body of it to sit a lot higher than the standard vehicle. I was pretty sure Cole saw a lot more leg than I intended while helping me climb up. But he was the perfect gentlemen, and abstained from any of the snide remarks I would have gotten from Marcus.

Once in my seat, I adjusted my skirt back to an acceptable length and snapped my seatbelt into place. Cole climbed into the driver’s seat and flashed me a smile before cranking the jeep and taking off down the path.

Not use to such a speedy take off, I grasped the door with one hand for support. Cole grinned over at me before asking teasingly, "Too fast?"

I took a second to sneak a peak at the speedometer and saw we were going almost eighty down the country road leading into town. I was pretty sure the speed limit was 55. "Did you know the speed limit on this road is a lot less than what you're going?" I said, my voice strained.

Cole let his foot off of the gas, and I watched the speedometer drop down to a little below seventy. He laughed at the way I was still clinging to the door. "Sorry,” he apologized. “Guess when you’re used to traveling speeds over a hundred; eighty doesn't feel very fast. But if it makes you feel any better, I'm a great driver."

I studied his profile. "I bet you're great at pretty much everything," I said matter-of-factly. "You strike me as a perfectionist."

"Now that's a true statement if ever I've heard one,” he said, giving me a wicked grin. “I
am
great at a lot of things." I heard the double meaning in his voice and rolled my eyes, smiling. I
really
hoped I got to see just how great he was at
things
, but decided his confidence didn’t need the boost that statement would provide.

He glanced over at me. "You're right about the perfectionist thing though. What gave me away?"

I looked pointedly at the console area of his jeep. "Everything's neat and organized. Not something I'm use to in a guy. Plus, from what you've told me, you're extremely successful at what you do. That takes a person who works towards perfection."

I knew what it felt like to put everything you had into being successful at something. It took drive, determination and a tendency to strive toward perfecting your craft. I hadn't reached the pinnacle of success in dance that Cole had in racing, but I knew what it took to achieve it.

We had pulled up to a stoplight and I looked over to see Cole studying me. He surprised me by saying, "I'm glad you agreed to come out with me tonight. It's been a long time since I've met someone like you."

Hmmm, I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not.

"Like me?" I echoed, confused.

Cole kept his eyes on the road. "Yeah, you're real. I usually seem to attract girls that try too hard," he confided. "You don't. You seem really sweet and genuine."

"Um, I think it's kinda sad that you find those traits unusual. But then again, you're probably the most respectful guy I've ever been out with, and you would think that trait would be common enough."

Cole gave me a scrutinizing glance, but didn't say anything. I could tell he wanted to ask me something, but he didn't and I was relieved.