Speak Now (21 page)

A knock prompted him to hang up the phone before he turned his attention to “Gramby.” “What’s up?”

“Well, I’
m goin’ to make the kids some lunch and put them down for naps. They’re plum wore out. I made you your favorite pasta salad. Do you want me to grill a steak with that or—”

“That sounds great, but why don’t you just make a sandwich.”

“Do you have any dinners on the calendar this week?” Gramby knew Jonathan’s proposed schedule, but she also knew how things changed. As a look crossed his face, she jerked a chair a bit nearer and sank her ample backside into it. “Tell me what’s botherin’ you, son.”

“I met someone.”

“And you don’t want to talk about it, I suppose,” she returned with a sigh. “Honestly, boy, you’re worse than a child sometimes.”

“But I do want to talk about her.”

“Then talk while you’re willin’, because I know how fast that changes.” She nodded emphatically, with a slight ‘mmm hmm’ under her breath.

“Her name is Cara. She’ll be calling sometime, I’m sure.”

“Women just don’t have scruples anymore.”

“She’ll call because I ask her to, not because she’s the kind of woman you’re imagining.” The idea of Cara chasing him like a junior high
, boy crazy, twit amused him.

“So you met her…”

“At the wedding.” He smiled. “Riley thought she was the bride, and it didn’t matter what else happened, she was smitten.”

“You were too, I see. So did
you get to see her again durin’ the week?”

“Every day at lunch and after she got off work, most of Saturday and Sunday, and at the station on Monday. I have sent five texts, and she has sent me three.”

This prompted one of Verna’s very rare silences. After what seemed an age, she leaned across his desk, her eyes boring into his. “Are you in love with her?”

“Yes.”

“Does she know it?”

“Yes.”

Standing, the woman stalked to the door. “She’s not worth it. I suggest you jest let things drift to sea.”

“What makes you say that?” Rather than offended, her words amused him.

“A woman who knows
you
are in love with her and still let you go home isn’t worth your time. She obviously don’t know a good thing when she sees it.”

“Oh, Gramby, how I’ve missed you. Go ask Riley to tell you about Cara while you make that sandwich. You’ll see.” As she started to close the door, Jonathan called her again. “Where are those little frames that Lily had with pictures of her grandparents in them? I sent half of those pictures back to the Fillmores. Where are the frames?”

She pointed across the room to a credenza. “Bottom shelf, right hand side, in a little wooden box.”

Later that night, as she walked through the rooms shutting off lights, picking up scattered toys, socks, a hair bow… Verna entered Jonathan’s office to turn off his desk lamp. There, beside the plant that he frequently overwatered and replaced, stood three of the little miniature frames with pictures from a photo booth in them. In one, a picture of a young woman with strawberry hair and laughing green eyes smiled back at her. The woman’s expression unnerved her. The next photo
showed of them, and it was plain, even from such a tiny snapshot, that their attraction was mutual. The last showed a side profile of Jonathan as he obviously turned to follow her from the booth.

“Now I wonder why he put that one in there. That’
s jest weird.”

~*~*~*~

Jonathan awoke with a start. Riley’s big blue eyes peeked over the edge of the bed as she tapped his shoulder whispering at the top of her lungs, “Daddy! Daddy, wake up!”

“What’s wrong, Riley?” Sleep tempted him, but he hung tenaciously to consciousness.

“Miss Cara misses you. You need to call her.”

“I did, sweetheart. I called her when we got home; remember? You spoke to her and told her about the Red Cap who found the quarter in your ear?”

“But she misses you
now
. You have to call her. She’s crying.”

“Oh, Ry, I think you had a bad dream or something.” Jonathan pulled her up beside him and made room for her under the covers. Her nightmares usually meant an easier time if she just slept with him that night.

“No! It wasn’t a dream. I couldn’t sleep so I prayed for everyone I could think of ‘cause that usually makes me fall asleep—you know, like you said—but when I thought of her I started to cry. She’s crying, Daddy. Call her.”

He tried every soothing thing he could imagine but to no avail. The clock read just after eleven. It was an hour earlier in Rockland.
Would it be better to reassure Riley or to avoid setting a precedent? Lily would have known. She always knew, instinctively, exactly what to do in these kinds of situations. Verna would know, but to find out would mean waking her.

“Please, Daddy!”
Now Riley’s tears flowed freely. Frustrated, he snatched his phone and punched Cara’s name on his contact list and waited for her to answer. Riley still sobbed into his t-shirt, much to his consternation. Had it been a tantrum, she’d have stopped when she got her way. Now what should he do?

“Cara?” Cara’s delighted voice reassured him that he hadn’t woken her. “Riley is having a little trouble sleeping. She’s very concerned for you.”

“Put her on. I’ll talk to her.”

Jonathan handed the ph
one to his daughter and nodded. Riley tried to stifle her tears in order to hear what Cara said, but it took several restarts before she understood. “I knew you were crying so I told Daddy—”

“Now how did you know I was crying?” Surprise leapt through the line, mak
ing her amazement obvious even to Jonathan.

“Because every time I thought of you, I cried, and you make me happy, not sad. So, I knew you were crying and talking to Daddy would make you feel better.”

“How did you know that, sweetheart?”

“Easy,” Riley’s adoring eyes looked up at her father. “He always makes me feel better when I’s sad.” Her concentration returned almost immediately to the topic at hand. “You miss my daddy, don’t you?”

“I do.”

“Do you miss me too?” Her childish preoccupation with self
hovered closer to endearing than obnoxious.

“Of course I do! I miss seeing you make him smile, I miss listening to you tell about your mother—”

“You want to hear about Mommy?”

“Of course! I love to hear about your mommy.”

Riley promptly handed the phone to Jonathan. “You tell both of us about Mommy. You remember her and I don’t. Tell us about the wedding and how you went to the wrong church.”

“You went to the wrong church?” Cara’s laughter warmed his heart.

The last thing Jonathan wanted to do when he was beat and had a long day’s work the next day, was tell stories about his wife and their marriage to his daughter and girlfriend! “Well, it’s kind of late for that, Riley. We need our sleep.”

“Come on, Jonathan. It’s like a bedtime story. Tell me about the wedding.”

One glance at his daughter showed her waiting expectantly. The silence from the other end told him he wouldn’t get away with hanging up until he told the entire story. “Okay, well,” he paused. “Cara, are you tucked into that big bed of yours? Are the lights out? Are you ready for a bedtime story?”

“I’m downstairs working on a scrapbook of our week.” At his silence, she giggled. “All right, I’m going upstairs. This is ridiculous, you know. Absolutely ridiculous.”

“Okay, well, once upon a time, there was a beautiful bride named Lily.”

Jonathan swallowed a lump in his throat as he described her beautiful golden hair, her silk Grecian
-styled gown, and the tiara that had been worn by every bride in the Fillmore family for over a hundred years. The way he paused over every detail of his beloved wife’s appearance should have told her how much he’d cherished the woman he’d lost. Did she notice? Did she understand?

“Well, while she was getting all ready to dazzle me, I was trying hard to get into the church. I tried every door, even a few classroom windows, and watched my watch until I got frustrated and called a friend. I’d gone to St. Paul’s Episcopal Church instead of St. Paul’s Presbyterian Church. From my house, you had to pass the Episcopal Church to get to the Presbyterian, and I was so nervous that when I saw St. Paul’s, I just pulled in without thinking.”

“Poor Daddy,” murmured Riley. Tell her about how the preacher wouldn’t stop talking and trying to make you talk.”

“I’m getting there, you be quiet and let me tell the story.”

“Yes, dear,” Cara murmured sleepily.

“Well, after we got through the getting ready, the walking down the aisle, and the flower girl passing the loudest gas I’ve ever heard in my life… Well, except for that time that Riley…”

“Daddy!”

“Anyway, the pastor starts talking about marriage, covenants, responsibilities, generations, and a bunch of things that didn’t seem to fit, like surf boards and asparagus. I still don’t know what it all meant, but I did know that I
got more and more nervous by the second, and Lily looked ready to drop with exhaustion.”

Jonathan took a deep breath and willed his heart to cooperate. “Then he started on the vows. We’d chosen very short vows. You know, the whole, do you this and do you that and I promise to be a good husband stuff. Well, the pastor had another wedding that morning and still had their vows in his book. They were very long, very complicated, and very, um… not us. When he told Lily to promise to take her half of family leadership, she snatched the papers from his book and shredded them right there on the platform. They’re even in our wedding pictures. She wouldn’t let us pick them up.”

Cara giggled. “Oh wouldn’t I like to meet her.”

“She’d love you,” Jonathan began.

“The story, Daddy!”

“Slave driver.” Jonathan winked at the indignant look on his daughter’s face. “Where was I… oh, the vows. Then she looked at me and said, ‘Jonathan, I vow to be your wife, be faithful, and look to Scripture for answers in how to do that.’ I took her cue and repeated the same thing. I think the pastor was a little fed up with us by then because he rushed through the next words and then muttered, ‘You may embrace.’”

“What!” Cara’s amazement was only slightly tempered by Riley’s confusion.

“We stared at him for a minute, hugged briefly, started to turn, and then Lily grabbed my hand, pulled me to her, and gave me a huge kiss.”

“That’s not true! You kissed
her
! She got all red because you kissed her for too long. Grandma said!”

“Well, Grandma’s getting old and her memory isn’t so good.”

Jonathan told of the toasts, the server who dumped his plate in his lap, the delicious cake, the spiked punch, and the first dance when he’d felt so connected with his wife, that Jonathan carried her out of the room, into the elevator, and escaped his own reception while everyone’s attention was otherwise occupied. “The end.”

Riley lay sleeping beside him, but Cara sounded wide awake. “Aww… what a wonderful story. Thank you for sharing with me.”

“I’m sorry—Riley doesn’t understand how uncomfortable it could be for you.”

“Could be, yes. But it’s not. Remember, I like hearing about you and Lily.” As Jonathan pondered how strange it was that Cara seemed more comfortable with him sharing his wife with her than he did, Cara asked, “Does it feel good to be home?”

“Until I remember that I won’t see you for six weeks, it feels great.”

The sound of choked back tears filled her voice as she whispered, “Goodnight, Jonafan.”

“Am I still the handsomest man you’ve ever seen?”

“I am going to have to spank that girl for breaking her word. She promised not to tell,” Cara teased.

“She didn’t. Bryson told me. He said
he
didn’t promise, and I think he thought he’d convince me to go out with you again if I knew.”

“Well, I’ll have to torture him until he goes crazy with remorse.”

“I,” Jonathan wanted to say so much. “I guess I should say goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Jonafan.”

“Night, Cara mia.”

He set the phone on his nightstand, clicked the light back off, wondering when he’d turned it on, and adjusted himself on the pillow. Just as he started to fall asleep, a little voice made his eyes fly open and his heart race. “Daddy, you love Miss Cara.” It wasn’t a question.

“Yes.”

“She loves you too.”

With eyelids as heavy as his heart, Jonathan nodded. “Mmm hmm.”

“Will Mommy be sad when I have another Mommy?”

The question surprised him. She’d always spoken as if another mommy someday would be the thrill of a lifetime. Bryson must have spoken carelessly. “I—I don’t think so, sweetheart. I think she’ll be happy for all of us. Mommy wants us to be happy.”

He waited for a reply. Seconds ticked into minutes but
he heard nothing from his little girl. He relaxed again and allowed his mind to slow down into the dull drone of slumber. Again, Riley’s quiet voice ripped him from the clutches of sleep. “Tell Miss Cara that I’ll tickle Bryson for her. He shouldn’t have told.”