Sparked (The Metal Bones Series Book 1) (17 page)

“That you’re so susceptible to death.”

I sat back.

Susceptible
.

So human,
the little voice whispered in my head.

Stop.
I ground my teeth together. “Why love us at all then?” I asked. “If we are so susceptible.”

“For the time in-between.” Bonnie smiled.

I tilted my head. How could she be smiling?

“I’ll always have that,” she said. “I’ll always have the memories of him. And that’s the only reason I’m still able to function. It’s the only reason I’m still able to keep going. I have his smile, his booming laugh, and his tender eyes. I’ll carry them with me and that’s what makes it bearable. It’s what makes waking up every day without him, bearable.”

Bearable?

“I don’t understand, with all this pain, how can you be so happy all the time?”

She smiled, and this time, I peered closer. I could see it now, buried deep within her eyes, a throbbing loss.

“It’s my shell.”

And then I understood.

Because the real Bonnie was buried underneath.

Chapter 24

“This is it!” Bonnie rolled down the window and waved at the sign as we drove past.

“Tyler, Texas?” I asked.

“Yup. The one and only.” Bonnie smiled and I wondered if I could ever look at her like I did before. The pain, the scars, the loss were now all too prevalent in every expression on her face.

The car rolled to a stop in the parking lot.

“This is one of my favorite places. You should see what our cottage looks like here. It’s gorgeous. Flowers bloom under the window, pots hang from the walkways, and petals litter the sidewalk.”

“Then why are we parking in front of a motel?”

“Because Alec won’t let us stay there.” She sighed. “They’ll attack there first if they’re following us and this way, we can monitor it, and maybe catch a few of them.”

“Why would you catch . . .?” Bile slithered its way up my throat. They couldn’t. They wouldn’t. “Oh god,” I breathed.

“I’m sorry, Vienna.” Bonnie’s face dropped. “It’s the only way to find out how much they know.”

“No.”

“What?”

“I said no.” I slammed the car door closed behind me. “That’s inhumane. That’s us becoming the demons we’re running from.” I stopped, causing a patch of dirt to spray up behind me. “I thought we were better than that.”

“Vienna.” Bonnie glanced around and locked the car.

Everyone in the parking lot was staring at us. Peach’s eyes flashed a you’ll-regret-this-later look.

“I can’t believe this is something you guys even considered,” I hissed and stalked off.

I kicked at the rocks on the gravel, spinning dirt in different directions. This wasn’t okay. It wasn’t acceptable. For all they knew, those robots were only following their orders. They didn’t deserve to be tortured for it. Especially by us. Rays from the setting sun blinded my eyes and I shielded my face against them.

“Vienna, wait?” Alec laid a hand on my shoulder.

I rolled his hand off me.

“I tried to tell you,” he said. “I’m not what you think I am.”

“You are what you make yourself to be.” I spun around. “You want to be a murderer? Simple, you murder something. You want to be a torturer? Simple, you torture something. You want to be a new beginning? You want to be a new start? You want to live the way you want? It’s simple. You live it.” Air shook as it made its way down my throat. “What’s the point of even saving me when you’re going to turn around and torture one of your own for information?”

“Fine, Vienna.” He threw his hands in the air. “How would you go about getting information from them? Invite them to coffee?”

“You don’t start a revolution with fear. You start it with hope.”

“Whoever told you I was trying to start a revolution? I don’t want to start anything.”

“That’s how it happens. You do something you think is right and everything unfolds from there, whether you want it to or not.”

We stared each other down, neither giving in, neither backing away.

“And through it you bring others hope,” I said.

“Hope? And how far do you think this hope will get you?”

“You’re a fool then, Alec. That’s all life is. Hope. Hope for a better today. Hope that you don’t repeat the mistakes of yesterday. And hope that the future continues to grow and evolve and doesn’t fall back into old, negative patterns.”

He sighed, and it sounded like the weight of the world flew out of him. “Has anyone ever told you you’re the most wonderful woman in the world? That you never stop fighting, you never give up trying to save the world from its own injustices? You never settle for no. You keep thinking of a way around everything? You hope?”

“I haven’t thought of a way around everything.” I shrugged, all my steam evaporating too. “I don’t know how to stop the running.”

He smiled. “Well, there’s always hope.”

I pursed my lips. “You think you’re so clever, don’t you?”

My robot was a cheeky little one.

“I promise we won’t touch the robots. We’ll think of another way.” He stepped forward and lifted my chin. “A better way.”

“Thank you,” I whispered. The sun set beneath my eyelids, and I felt the loss of the heat on my skin. The cool wind whipped through my hair.

“There is good in you.” I wrapped my hand around his. “Even if you don’t see it, it’s there.”

His finger traced the edge of my jaw. “Let’s go inside,” Alec murmured.

I nodded, and we walked hand-in-hand back to the hotel.

The rooms were nice and simple with a door connecting them. I eyed the two double beds in each room, mentally doing the math. Someone would have to share.

The bathroom opened and Peach walked out. Her eyes glared blue flames when they found me.

“So I trust you’ve told her
everything
then.” Peach raised her chin. “The whole truth and she still accepted you for it.”

What?

“Now’s not the time,” Alec said, turning around.

I stood between the two of them.

“What’s the whole truth?” I asked, unable to help the hitch in my voice. “I thought you told me everything?”

See there are still secrets in the robot world,
the voice hissed.
They are worse than humans, worse!

“Tell her,” Peach’s eyes narrowed, “or I will.”

My heart dropped in my chest.

“Alec—”

I didn’t have to say another word. He grabbed my hand and led me outside.

My heart thumped against my ribs, every step with him making me feel farther away from him.

We walked down the road in silence. Me putting one foot in front of the other, him opening and then closing his mouth again.

He stopped and faced the distance, where the sun left streaks of purple in the sky. “Didn’t you ever wonder why I started watching you?”

“I thought it was so you could save me?”

“So you never wondered how I knew you were in trouble in the first place?”

I shook my head. “I don’t understand.”

He faced me, his eyes dead, silent. “I was the one.”

Blood pounded in my ears. “One what?”

“I was the one sent to take you.”

My lips parted, and I stepped back. But it couldn’t be true. He was the reason I was safe. He was the reason I escaped. He was—

“I was the one who was supposed to deliver you to the R.I. A.”

No
. The sky seemed like it was spinning.

“That was my order. That was my mission. To bring you in.”

“But-But you . . . I saw-I saw you take them down. I saw you—”

“With you, I decided to go against my orders. And in doing so, I went against everything.”

“What?” I shook my head. “But I killed the robot. I stopped the robot sent to take me—”

“He was sent because the first didn’t complete the orders, because
I
didn’t complete my orders.”

Oh God.

I spun around. Dirt went flying around us. “You don’t even know why they wanted me. You couldn’t have.”

“They never tell us why.”

“No.”

“Orders are orders.”

I shook my head, trying to block out his words.

“But I couldn’t follow them this time. I knew I had to protect you.”

“It was you.” My mind reeled. “It was you I felt following me all those times. It was you.” He was suddenly close. Too close. I threw my hand between us. “How could you?”

“I always watch my assignments before I make my move. While I was watching you, I—”

“Stop,” I sobbed, “stop.”

He was the cause of this. He was sent to take me . . . and he . . . he never told me.

“You. Your whole crew. You all lied to me.” My voice was dead, a lump in my throat. “You lied to my parents. You captured people. You are the reason people are disappearing. You.”

My feet wobbled and I staggered back, holding my head in my hands.

“Vienna, you never wanted to believe it or see me as anything but good. I tried to tell you. I tried. I’m a monster. I’m exactly what you thought robots could be.”

My stomach constricted and I stumbled. He wanted me in the dark. He never wanted to tell me anything.

They are worse than humans! They are robots! They are monsters!

I sobbed.

They carry the worst kind of secrets. Secrets that destroy the heart. He was never planning to tell you. Peach made him.

I forced my feet forward.

He had never wanted to tell me anything.

Go!
the voice said.

And I did.

Run!

And I did.

I ran.

I tripped over a root and my feet gave out from under me. I rolled through the dirt. Dust hit my face, filled my mouth, and coated my hands.

“Vienna? Vienna.” Bonnie was suddenly there, helping me up.

“Get away from me,” I cried and stumbled back into the dirt.

Her grip tightened. “I don’t know what he told you but I’m here and I’m not leaving.”

It was as if a light turned on and illuminated a room, a room I didn’t recognize. My room. My room full of lies, and webs, and truths scattered where Alec hoped I wouldn’t find them.

I sagged in the dirt.

Where I wouldn’t find them.

Bonnie hovered over me and smoothed the dirt away from my eyes. Her delicate fingers brushed the smudges from my face.

“You caught people and brought them as chattel to the R.I.A knowing everything. You are all part of it.”

She tucked strands of hair behind my ear. “Alec thinks he’s done so much wrong that he can never redeem himself again. He thinks he’s unworthy of you because of the things he did, because of choices he was taught to make, because of the decisions he didn’t realize were his until he met you.”

“But still.” I shook my head. “He didn’t trust me enough to tell me. He never wanted to tell about the match thing. Even after . . . even after we kissed, he still wouldn’t open up to me. He doesn’t trust me. You’re the reason I know anything about him and this crew. If you weren’t here I’d be left in the dark.” I jerked away from her. “About everything.”

“Wait.” She stopped me from moving. “Let me get this last piece.”

“How are you so calm about this?” I whacked her hand away.

Bonnie sighed. “Fine. But how would you tell someone you were the one meant to take them and carry them off to the R.I.A.?”

“I would—”

“Yes. Please. Go on.”

I ground my teeth together. “I would have found a way. I’d have found a way to tell them how I felt about them. I would have. Found. A. Way.”

“Well, he’s not like you.” Bonnie’s voice hardened. “I tried to tell you. He’s never had to find a way to do anything. He’s just done it. The fact that he’s trying to find a way to soften everything for you shows how much he cares about you.”

I snorted. “You mean find a way to keep things from me.”

“Believe me.” Bonnie got up. “He cares. And we all had an opportunity to disobey Alec and we didn’t, just like he didn’t disobey his orders. Sometimes you don’t think to question things until someone like you comes across our path. And personally, I’m glad you did come across his path.” She held out her hand to me. “He had the courage to do what I always wanted to do.”

“I don’t want to go back. I don’t want to see him.” I left her hand suspended in the air.

“They’re all sleeping. And the connector door is closed. Come on.” Bonnie pulled me up. “It’s been a long day.”

“But he—”

“Won’t be there.”

We walked back the gravel road, up the flight of stairs, and stopped in front of the girls’ hotel room.

Bonnie disappeared in the bathroom, and Peach snored on the bed.

I swallowed. They knew. They all knew. They all kept it from me. Bonnie, too. They had all been sent to capture me.

Bonnie’s words ran through my mind.
He had the courage to do what I always wanted to do.

If Bonnie had wanted to start saving people, then how many more robots had wanted to do it as well?

I crumpled onto the bed.

The one thing I knew was that secrets were dangerous. No matter what shape or form they arrived in. They allowed your imagination to pull and push you in directions that shouldn’t have ever been there. They allowed the mind to wander, to become its own pulled grenade. The small truths that slipped in swirled everything out of proportion . . . like Aunt Tamera . . . like my family.

I turned toward the wall as Bonnie came out and slipped into bed with Peach, leaving me a bed to myself. My body shook. I pressed my lips together and shut my eyes.

Alec.

His voice filled my head.

“I protected you.”

“Orders are orders.”

“Vienna.”

My heart raced in my chest, and I covered my ears as if that would stop his words from coming into my head.

My clothes were suddenly hot and sticky against my skin. I scrambled off the bed and changed, yanking on my oversized shirt.

My mind buzzed.

Alec . . .