Spark & Blaze (A Guns & Hoses Novel) (6 page)

Brett almost choked on his shot when he looked up and caught sight of Carmichael walking behind Flame to the other pool table. Their eyes had met for a moment and Carmichael’s gaze clearly displayed surprise at seeing him here. Their visual connection didn’t last long enough for Brett to decipher more. No, his glance up from the table was only because he registered movement toward the end of the table where he was taking his shot.

However, Brett could admit that seeing Carmichael caused him to take an extra stroke with his cue before he shot the ten into the corner. And missed. Before he took that shot, Brett was beating Austin by four balls. His game apparently went to hell because Austin not only caught up, but beat his ass.

“Thought you had me,” Austin goaded. “Then again,” Austin paused and shot Brett a wink when he continued, “I’m kinda hard to get.”

Brett’s eyes shot up to Austin’s grinning face. Had he been in Bradley’s, he would’ve had no doubt Austin was flirting with him. Hell, even knowing Austin was gay, made the guy’s words seem even more like a flirtatious comment. However, Brett knew enough about gay men to know that most of them wanted nothing to do with straight guys.

Shit. Did I do something to show my hand?

Brett quickly replayed his interactions with Austin over the last few games of pool. It would be easy for him to fall into his pool playing pickup tactics that he used at Bradley’s to score tricks, but he was positive he hadn’t portrayed anything other than a straight guy enjoying a few games of pool.

“Rack’um man,” Austin’s voice jolted Brett back to the moment and out of his paranoia.

“We’re tied up right?” Brett asked just for something to say. He knew Austin was up by a game, but felt like goading the younger guy.

“You wish!” Austin laughed while he chalked his bar cue. “I own your ass by one.”

Brett groaned when he lifted the rack off the balls. He hoped Austin thought his groan was because the guy had called him out on losing and not because Brett’s mind went instantly into the gutter.

The crack of the break was loud and the spread of the balls didn’t surprise Brett. Austin knew his shit. The way the current game was going, based on Austin’s break, Brett would be lucky to get a shot at all. Hell, he probably wouldn’t have gotten one if Flame’s voice hadn’t interrupted Austin’s concentration.

“Austie, let’s play partners.” Flame walked toward the table they were playing on. “I can’t beat Carmichael on my own. I need some fucking help.”

Austin stood up after making his shot and turned to face Flame. Brett watched a grin spread Austin’s lips and waited to hear the smart ass reply the man would give his cousin. He had played enough games of pool with Austin to appreciate the guy’s smart ass sense of humor.

“Well, I’m up by one,” Austin paused and glanced at the balls on the table before continuing. “And soon to be two games up so who do you want to partner with for doubles?”

“Well, I work with these two assholes so I sure as hell don’t want them on my team.” Flame laughed. “Plus I think the ‘sticks’ should stay together and let us ‘bar cues’ show them how it’s done.”

Flame’s words caused Brett to look at Carmichael; more specifically, the cue and Carmichael’s hand. It was definitely not a bar cue. Overall, dark cherry wood made up the majority of the cue. However, the bottom half was wrapped in thin strands of royal blue thread.

The cue wasn’t fancy, but Brett’s experience told him that Carmichael’s stick was a unique custom cue. He dragged his eyes away from the lower part of the cue, up the rest of the stick, until he met Carmichael’s pale gray eyes. Several emotions seemed to flicker in Carmichael’s gaze, but Brett forced himself not to read into a single one.

After two games, which Evan wiped the table, Flame suggested doubles with Austin. Evan argued because playing doubles was actually more challenging than playing one-on-one. However, Evan didn’t know that the guy who was playing Malone was Flame’s cousin.

“This is Austin,” Flame introduced his cousin. “And you already know Malone.”

Flame’s tone held a note of something. It wasn’t the kid glove tone that he expected because Malone helped him through his breakdown. No, it was something else altogether that Evan couldn’t identify.

“Great to meet you.” Austin smiled at Evan. “Though I don’t know why my cousin thinks he will win if the two of you pair up.” Austin nodded toward Evan’s cue. “If you’re half as good as Brett, then we should get a handicap.” Austin laughed. “I’m thinking at least two balls and hand should make it even.”

Brett forced himself not to groan at Austin’s
unintentional?
innuendo while he looked between Flame and Carmichael. Carmichael appeared slightly uncomfortable, but Brett was sure whatever unease the younger man felt had nothing to do with Austin’s words that could be taken as a sexual flirtation.

“Haven’t played with him yet, so I don’t know,” Carmichael replied.

Brett’s mind suddenly flashed to the desperate kiss Carmichael had laid on him in the truck bay the day before. There was no logical reason for the memory to assault him. Granted, Austin was throwing out sentences that could be taken as sexual innuendos, but Carmichael saying ‘played with him’ shouldn’t send his mind into replay mode of when his straight co-worker lost it and attacked his mouth.

“I’m sure you’ll play well together,” Austin replied to Evan and Brett swore he heard the man giggle,
fucking giggle
, when he walked away.

He knows,
Brett thought when he watched Austin moved toward the end of the table and start racking the balls.
He knows... How the fuck does he know?
Brett felt panic rise in his chest and fought the sensation that threatened to cause him to outright bolt.

“Gotta piss,” Brett said and felt like he blurted out the words.

He placed his cue stick on the table without looking at anyone and turned toward the hall that led to the restroom. Brett saw nothing until he finally looked up into the mirror above the sink. His reflection appeared just as panicked as he felt. His eyes were wide, his face pale, and his lips were dry to match the sudden desert in his mouth.

Breathe
, Brett ordered his body.
Just breathe.

Brett knew he was having a panic attack and that he needed to talk himself down before he had a full-blown, embarrassing, freak out. A fucked up freak out that would arouse the attention of his co-workers or cause someone to call 911 which was the last fucking thing he needed.

Brett splashed his face with cold water and allowed it to drip haphazardly down his face and neck. He braced his arms on the sink and dropped his head while he tried to get his breathing and racing heart under control.

“Brett?”

Brett raised his head and looked in the mirror to see the person who inquired about his current state of health. He wished he hadn’t even bothered because the last person he wanted to see was T. Tig, fucking Flame’s boyfriend. The look on the man’s face was one of pure concern, but that didn’t lessen the panic that was irrationally flooding through him.

“You’re not out,” Tig staed instead of asked and continued to hold Brett’s gaze in the mirror. “I’m not sure what Flame or Austin said, but whatever it was had nothing to do with me and you.”

Brett blinked and fought to find his voice. He had to clear his throat before he felt secure enough to speak.

“You didn’t tell him?”

They both knew who Brett was referring to and knew exactly what Tig could have shared with his boyfriend who was also Brett’s co-worker.

“No. There was no reason to.” Tig leaned against the wall and held Brett’s stare in the mirror.

“Even after running into each other again?” Brett asked incredulously.

Tig shrugged. “If we had to disclose every hookup we’ve ever had when we run into them, then the lists would likely be long as fuck.” Tig chuckled and grinned.

“But our past isn’t the reason behind this,” Tig waved at Brett who was still using his arms to brace himself over the sink. “If it was, you would’ve just bolted like the first time you were here and we came face-to-face. You didn’t take off this time. You played pool with Austin and were fine until Flame and your co-worker started talking to you,” Tig’s voice was soft while he listed off his observations. “So what did one of them say to freak you out?”

As much as Brett wanted to explain to Tig, even as awkward as it would be confiding in a one night hookup, he didn’t have the words because he wasn’t really sure himself what had made him panic.

“No idea.”

That was all Brett offered by way of response. He waited for Tig to throw a bullshit flag down, but the cop didn’t. Silence settled around them for what felt like minutes to Brett, but he was sure it was much less.

“All right.” Tig pushed off the wall where he had been leaning behind Brett. “Flame and I know real well what the inside of that closet door at work looks like if you ever want to talk.”

Brett hadn’t even realized his eyes dropped away from looking at Tig in the reflection of the mirror until the man spoke. When his gaze snapped up, Tig was standing in front of the bathroom door. Their eyes met and Brett’s saw nothing but sincerity in Flame’s boyfriend’s eyes. Their gaze held for a moment before Tig started to open the door.

“Thanks,” Brett whispered and watched Tig pause with the door half open.

“It’s not so bad on the other side,” Tig paused and opened the door the rest of the way.

Brett thought that was all the man had to say when he watched him step into the hall. But, Tig turned back and met Brett’s gaze in the mirror once more.

“It’s not as fucking scary either.”

Brett had no reply. All he could do was watch the bathroom door close in the mirror. He took several deep breaths and splashed more cold water on his face. Another stare at his reflection did nothing to make him feel better, but it did spur him to grab towels and dry his face.

He felt better when he left the bathroom, but the urge to get the hell out of dodge was still almost overwhelming. However, he tempered his urge to flee long enough to say his goodbyes. He took the ball busting from Austin and Flame in stride because he was bailing on playing doubles. He promised them they would play next time while he broke down his stick and slid it into his case.

Stick case in hand, he cashed out his tab, and didn’t look at any of his co-workers or the others before he got the hell out of Guns & Hoses.

Chapter Six

Eva
n
stared after Malone when he suddenly took off to the men’s room. His co-worker was gone long enough that Evan was almost about to suggest that one of them should check on him. Moments before he could do just that, he noticed Flame’s boyfriend heading toward the men’s room.

Malone’s behavior was odd and Evan was sure if that was why he had noticed and was concerned. He was distracted and didn’t even realize that Flame had racked the balls. Several minutes later, Malone returned only to bail on their game. He didn’t look well when he said his goodbyes and practically ran from the bar.

“What was that all about?” Austin asked both firefighters.

“No idea,” Flame replied while he watched his boyfriend. He would get the details from Tig later about what went on in the men’s room.

Evan had a feeling he already knew. He was sure that Malone’s sudden flight from the bar had something to do with him since the guy was fine before Flame suggested doubles. Considering the difference in Malone’s behavior in the truck bay yesterday, the man’s anger at the end of their shift, and what Evan had just witnessed, was extreme to say the least.

“You two should play,” Flame’s voice broke Evan out of his contemplation about Malone’s odd behavior. “You both can both kick my ass, so I want to see who kicks who’s between the two of you.”

Flame laughed and put his bar cue back in the rack before he walked back to the table where Tig, Simon, and Brostowski sat socializing and drinking.

Evan played five games of pool with Austin before he called it a night. He was up by a game and took the ribbing that he and Malone always bailed when they were ahead. However, just like Malone, Evan promised to give Austin a chance to catch up the next time they played.

“Thanks for inviting me out,” Evan said after he paid his tab and returned to the table where all the guys were still drinking.

“You’re welcome to join us anytime,” Flame offered sincerely.

“So, don’t be a stranger,” Austin added.

“I’m sure you’re just saying that to get a rematch out of me,” Evan joked with Austin. “But, alright.”

“See you next shift,” Flame said by way of goodbye.

Evan drove back to his house and felt content. Neither Flame nor Brostowski treated him differently because of his freak out on the last shift. However, he still didn’t know what to make of Malone’s behavior. The large firefighter was back in his thoughts when he plugged in his cell to charge and climbed into bed.

He was just drifting off to sleep when his cell phone binged to let him know he had a text message. Evan was going to ignore his phone. But, he gave Flame and Brostowski his number earlier, so there was a chance that the message could be from one of them. He didn’t bother to turn on the light before he picked up his cell, swiped the screen, and opened the message from an unknown number.

You’re beautiful when you smile
.

“Wrong number, asshole,” Evan muttered and plumped his pillow before he thought of the similar text he had received that morning after his shift.

The unknown number of the text was different from the unknown number of the earlier text, even though both messages seemed sentimental. Still, just like the last wrong number text, Evan didn’t bother to reply before he tossed his phone on his night table, rolled over, and went to sleep.

Brett tossed and turned. Several times he woke up from strange dreams that revolved around closet doors being thrown wide open. Sometimes those doors were at work, sometimes they were at Bradley’s or Guns & Hoses, or sometimes they were just doors being battered down in burning buildings.

After the last dream jolted him from his restless sleep, Brett gave up on sleep altogether. He pushed himself up and sat on the edge of the bed. The ceiling fan cooled the sweat that covered his naked body and Brett scrubbed his face with his hands. The panic he felt in his chest from this latest dream was subsiding. His heart rate was returning to normal, but not nearly fast enough as far as Brett was concerned.

“Shit,” Brett cursed and stood abruptly.

A glance at the digital clock on his dresser declared that it was 5:20. It was too late to bother getting any more sleep in too early to do much else.

Regardless of the time, Brett walked into the bathroom and started the shower. After he stood under the hot spray for several minutes, Brett felt his muscles begin to relax. Relaxed muscles or not, his mind continued to spin and dissect what caused his panicked and fucked up dreams.

He knew that the combination of Austin’s flirtatious words and seeing Carmichael were what sent him into the totally irrational panic that he felt at Guns & Hoses. But, he was pretty sure that it was his conversation with T,
fucking Tig, dammit
, about coming out that caused him to have crazy dreams.

Tig’s suggestion that being out wasn’t that scary wasn’t meant to make Brett feel like less of a man for staying in the closet. No, Brett knew Tig was just trying to give him an idea of what it felt like on the other side of that closet door. The fact that Tig offered not only himself, but Flame, to talk to if Brett needed someone who understood his situation told Brett that Tig was sincere.

That offer made Brett think about Flame. Up until about a year ago, his co-worker hid in his own closet and he was pretty sure Tig did too. It wasn’t until the station gossip about Brostowski claiming to be in love with Flame while the two were in Guns & Hoses did anyone begin to question Flame or Brostowski’s orientation. Even after that, and when Flame’s straight or gay status was confirmed when he sat at his boyfriend’s hospital bedside, there was surprisingly no fallout at the station house.

Brett stepped out of his shower and for a moment imagined what that kind of acceptance would feel like. Well, he tried to imagine because in all honesty he couldn’t see himself being out and accepted like Flame was around the station.

He knew, rationally, that whether he was accepted by his fellow firefighters or not, it had nothing to do with them and everything to do with him.

Brett ignored the irritated look Jinxy gave him because he was up and moving way too early as far as she was concerned.

“Don’t look at me like that girl,” Brett told her before he pulled clothes out of his dresser. “You have the bed all to yourself.” Brett sat on the edge of the bed and put on his running sneakers. He stood and turned to Jinxy. “See you in a bit, girl.”

Brett didn’t bother to pet her before he left because he knew he would more than likely get a paw swiped at him since he disrupted her sleep with his tossing and turning.

After he locked up his house, Brett stretched on his front porch to loosen up his muscles before his run. The sun was just cresting the horizon when Brett started to run down his street. His body was finally relaxed when he fell into his runners haze, but unfortunately his mind still spun with thoughts about his dreams, conversation with Tig, and worst of all, Carmichael.

Evan completed his morning run to the gym, his workout, and his run home. It was the routine he had fallen into for his days off. It was a routine that not only kept him in shape, but also energized him. Sadly though, his jog to and from the gym and his workout in between only ate up a little more than four hours of his time on his days off.

Straightening up his house and doing laundry when it was needed to be done, didn’t eat up much of his time either. More than once he thought he needed a hobby other than shooting pool.

Evan had just stepped out of his shower when his phone dinged to let him know he had another text message. His excitement that the message was from Flame or Brostowski with another invitation to hang out had Evan grabbing up his phone quickly.

He swiped the screen and hit his message icon. His excitement crashed when he saw that the message was from another unknown number. An unknown number that was different from the last two unknown numbers that had sent him strange texts. Still, that didn’t stop him from opening the message.

The morning sun enhances the beauty that shines from within you
.

This shit was just getting weird. Even though the text messages were from different unknown numbers each time, the shit was weird. So weird, that Evan finally decided to reply.

You have the wrong number
.

Evan hit send and thought that would be the end of it. He tossed his phone on the counter and was walking toward his bathroom when he heard the phone ding again. Evan ignored the sound that was probably from the sender texting him an apology.

He dressed before he made himself an early dinner. He frowned when his phone beeped again to remind him he had an unanswered text and he finally picked it up to look at the message.

Do I?

Evan shook his head. The last thing he needed was to engage with some kid who wanted to play a ‘let’s get to know a stranger’ game so he didn’t bother responding. He didn’t need to encourage whoever wanted to start a chat with a random stranger because he sure as hell wasn’t interested in texting with someone he didn’t know.

It was still early and Evan contemplated going out to shoot pool. He knew he would see some of the people he had gotten to know if he went to Bubbalouie’s. For a moment, he considered going back to Guns & Hoses, but quickly dismissed the idea. Going to the bar that the guys from work hung out at without actually hanging out with them just didn’t appeal to Evan.

He wished it wasn’t a Wednesday because then maybe he could figure out a place to go dancing. Still, even if he couldn’t find a place to hit up tonight to dance, that didn’t mean he couldn’t find somewhere to go on Friday.

Evan pulled his laptop onto the coffee table and did a quick search for places to dance. Every result seemed to be in Ybor which wasn’t a surprise from what he heard from those he shot pool with a Bubbalouie’s. What his pool partners failed to mention was that the most popular places to dance were all gay bars. Strangely, that made a weird sort of sense to Evan.

He didn’t have a problem with anyone who was gay. He had been hit on by guys in the past and for the most part they respected that he was straight.

In fact, there was only one time when he was in Fire College that he was hit on by a guy who didn’t seem to understand that although he was flattered, he just didn’t swing that way. Evan shook off the memory of his fellow trainee, Cee, who constantly continued to flirt with him even after he told the guy that he was straight.

The list of clubs on his browser gave Evan at least an idea where to go on Friday if he wanted to dance. He made a mental note of each before he shut down his computer and popped a movie into his DVD player to kill the rest of his night.