Sound of Heartache ("Sound of" Book 2) (28 page)

“
Apparently there are different classes of drugs and these don’t cause ‘known’ side effects but they ‘may transmit’ to the fetus. It’s a bunch of shit man.” Eric ran his hands through his messy hair. “I just…Aimee told me this the night she stayed with me and said it was the first time she’d unloaded all of it. And I thought it was only fair that you hear the truth. I know she doesn’t want to tell you because you’ll take on the guilt for all of it and you don’t need to do that. But you do need to know she still carries around some scars inside from everything that happened.”

“
So Brenna was lethargic at the same time Aimee was, then?” Brent surmised. If the drugs did to the baby what they were doing to the mom it stood to reason the baby would have been sluggish.

“
Yeah. Aimee said there were days that Brenna hardly moved at all and Aimee was terrified she’d died. She said the drugs had finally worn all the way out of their systems around the time Brenna was born.” Brent was surprised Aimee hadn’t gone into this more when they’d talked about Brenna’s delivery.

“
I can’t imagine how she coped with all that,” Brent murmured. Aimee was undoubtedly the strongest person he knew.

“
She had withdrawals, dude. Like horrible, moody, depressive withdrawals and she was by herself.” Eric’s voice rose and he twisted his hands together again. “I hate that we weren’t there with her. She was alone and terrified and sick. None of it should have happened!” There was guilt and sadness in Eric’s voice, and Brent could tell he thought maybe he could have done something to prevent what had occurred. Eric feeling guilty wasn’t something he had ever even considered.

“
Eric, man, there was nothing you or I could have done. If I had pushed back, Aimee’s parents would have tossed me in jail and taken her anyway.” Brent was beginning to sorely regret that he hadn’t paid a visit to Aimee’s parents while he’d been in the city and strangled them with his bare hands. How could anyone do that to their child? To their grandchild? Brenna was their flesh and blood for God’s sake!

“
But maybe if we’d planned better, or, hell, something! We could’ve taken her to Mexico.” Brent was shaking his head. He knew where Eric was coming from. He’d been there himself. There were so many ‘what ifs’ it was easy to drive yourself insane with them.

“
Aimee is the strongest woman I know,” he told Eric. “She survived, Brenna is thriving, and we’re all back together now. Things are back on track.” He placed his arm around Eric’s shoulders and pulled him in for an awkward man hug.

Eric hugged him back for a moment before sitting back in his seat and clearing his throat. “I’m sorry I never told you about this whole thing.” He waved his hands in the air and then dropped them down to his lap where he began a staccato drum beat with his fingers against his jeans. His lean fingers flew as he tapped them restlessly. Brent knew they weren’t talking about what Eric had learned over the weekend.

“
You mean how you felt about Aimee?” Eric nodded and slumped back in his seat.

“
I just never saw the point, ya know? Why even bring it up when I knew it could hurt our friendship? And I never wanted things to get awkward between us.” Eric looked over at Brent and frowned. “I still don’t want things to get awkward between us.”

Instead of dismissing Eric’s concerns, Brent gave them serious thought. Would he be comfortable with Aimee hanging out with Eric alone? Did he care if Eric saw Aimee in her nightie? More importantly, did he trust them both to do the right thing? He exhaled noisily.

“
Dude, I can’t say it wasn’t a shock to find out because it was. But I should’ve picked up on it sooner. You were always as protective of her as I was and you looked out for her just as much as I did. That should have clued me in.” Brent shook his head at himself for missing such obvious signs. “I guess what I need to know is if you’re going to be okay with all of it? Because Aimee’s it for me and as much as I hate that it might hurt you, I don’t want to change it.”

He and Eric sat in silence, the hum of the airplane engine providing soothing background noise. This conversation with Eric had to happen at some point but it didn’t make Brent happy to hurt his best friend. He knew Aimee felt the same way and he hoped Eric could get past his feelings.

“
Our friendship is the most important thing to me. You know I don’t have much to do with my family because they disapprove of my lifestyle. When Aimee came along, I just loved her. I couldn’t help it. But I would never come between the two of you. I know it’s one-sided. I’ll get through it. It’ll take a little time, but I’ll get there.” Eric lifted his head and looked into Brent’s eyes. “I promise.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

Aimee missed Brent horribly. Talking with him on the phone and exchanging silly texts wasn’t even close to being the same as seeing him on a regular basis. It had only been three weeks since she’d seen him but it felt like an eternity. Skype helped. They’d done that a few times and though it was better, it still wasn’t enough.

Heat burned along Aimee’s cheeks. One of the Skype sessions had been late at night and she and Brent had taken ‘phone’ sex to a whole new level. Watching Brent, having him watch her, was so raw and carnal Aimee knew she would never forget the experience. It was live porn just for her.

After the weekend in San Francisco and with the help of technology, Aimee was now comfortable saying the geographic distance between their homes was one of the only real problems they faced. The other issue, which in Aimee’s mind wasn’t as easy to deal with, was the fact that even if Aimee moved closer to Brent she would still have to deal with his extended absences when the band went on tour. Being a pediatrician meant she couldn’t just pull up stakes and take time off when the band hit the road. Plus, with Brenna in school…It was an obstacle Aimee knew she’d either have to accept and deal with or reject and lose Brent. She and Brent had danced around the issue of their distance but neither had broached any type of resolution because it meant Aimee would have to decide if she was in it for the long haul.

Sitting back in her chair in her small office at the pediatric practice, Aimee sighed heavily. She sometimes wished life was a heck of a lot more simple. Instead, there were grow-up decisions to be made, choices to be weighted, and repercussions to be handled. She wouldn’t trade her life for anyone else’s in the world but it would be good to have things a little more settled.

She glanced at the clock. She had a few minutes until she was scheduled to see her next patient so she grabbed her cell phone and thumbed through her contacts. She hit the little green phone icon when she found the name she wanted and settled in for a chat. When the line connected, she heard baby gurgles in the background.

“
Hello?” An out-of-breath female voice answered. Aimee frowned, confused. Ellie’s voice was normally soft. This woman sounded impatient and a little commanding.

“
Hi, Ellie?” Aimee wasn’t sure if Ellie had programmed in her number when Aimee had given it out during the San Francisco weekend.

“
Nope, this is Regan. Ellie’s not available right now.” Well, that made more sense. Regan was impatient and commanding, but this was actually perfect. Aimee began to smile. Regan was ultimately the person she wanted to talk to anyway.

“
Regan, this is Aimee. Brent’s…” Aimee hesitated. She wasn’t exactly sure what to call herself. Baby mama? Girlfriend? Woman? She let out a little giggle, and then slapped her hand over her mouth.

“
Brent’s hot piece?” Regan asked, sounding amused and much less impatient. Aimee laughed outright. She could perfectly picture the gorgeous brunette saying that.

“
That’s better than what I was coming up with in my head,” she admitted. “I was thinking baby mama, but you know… Brenna’s not really a baby anymore.” Both women chuckled.

“
You want me to pass a message along to Ellie? I’m trying not to burn the house down while Ellie goes for a pedi. She left me with baby Elliott.” Regan sounded terrified and perplexed in the trust Ellie had in her. Regan’s passion for her career had been clear the day they’d hung out, but Aimee hadn’t realized she was so involved in her career she didn’t know how to deal with children.

“
I was actually calling Ellie to bug her for your number, so this works out great.” Aimee admitted.

“
I knew you were a lesbian!” Regan teased. Aimee laughed again, hoping if her plans came through she would get to know Regan better. She seemed like a fun, genuine person. “Seriously, though, what can I do for you?” She asked, sounding curious. Aimee appreciated the other woman’s no-nonsense approach.

“
Ellie mentioned you have connections with different practices there in San Diego.” She hated to ask favors from someone she barely knew, but Aimee knew if she wanted to grab the life being offered to her, she needed to put her pride aside.

“
I do. I don’t work with them, of course, because the type of law I practice doesn’t involve medical malpractice. I’ve gotten to know them socially because we end up at a lot of the same local charity events.” Aimee wasn’t surprised. Physicians were often called upon to help local causes, and so were attorneys. Short of people with real money, old money, doctors and lawyers were a good way to get donations because they had a decent income.

Aimee took a deep breath and plunged forward with her plan. “Do you happen to know of any practices that might be looking for a good pediatrician?”

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

Brenna’s beautiful face filled the screen of Brent’s iPad and she chatted happily about her day. Thanksgiving was coming up and Brenna and Aimee planned to drive down to San Diego to spend the week with him. He hated the thought of them driving alone but Aimee convinced him she and Brenna would be safe and that it would be good mom-daughter time for the two of them.

“
Bug, do you like living in Las Vegas?” He asked Brenna. He was trying to carefully feel his way around what was best for his daughter. If she loved Las Vegas, he’d figure out a way to move there. He wasn’t sure how that would work out for the band logistically, but he’d do whatever he had to do to be with his daughter. What was right for her was more important than anything else.

“
It’s okay here. I have lots of friends and everything. But I’d rather be with you in San Diego,” Brenna responded, smiling at him. He smiled back at her.

“
Wouldn’t you miss your friends if you moved?” When he was ten, friends were everything to him. He would have been pissed if his parents moved him around. Plus, he knew Brenna was on a competitive dance team and finding a place in a new team could be difficult.

“
Yes daddy. I’d miss my friends.” Brenna’s face grew sad for a minute before she perked back up again. “But you’d let me come see them again, right?”

Brent’s throat was tight. “Yeah bug, I’d bring you to see your friends in Vegas.” Brent took a gulp from the bottle of water next to him at his desk. His throat was dry and locked up. He would move heaven and earth if it kept her happy. He had been so certain Brenna would be resistant to moving and here his daughter was offering everything up on a silver platter for him without hesitation.

“
Does that mean you’re gonna ask my mama to marry you?” Brenna asked him. She was watching him carefully as she asked the question and Brent choked on the water. How in the hell did this little girl have a window into his mind? He wondered if all children were so perceptive.

“
Brenna…” He wasn’t even sure how to begin to answer this question. He felt like he was a soldier who’d been dropped in a field laden with hidden landmines. No matter what way he turned, he was likely to blow something up. He didn’t want to lie to her, but this was something between him and Aimee.

“
Uh-oh. You’re using my real name. That’s not good,” Brenna muttered with surprising insight. Brent laughed a little.

“
It’s just, this conversation is a really grown-up one to have, you know?” He told her carefully.

“
Oh, I know it is. But I think you and my mom should get married.” Brenna’s earnest face stared out at him from the screen of his iPad.

“
Bug, we don’t even live in the same city yet. She hasn’t even seen my new house. What if she doesn’t like it?” He asked, trying to buy a little time so he could formulate a real answer. Brenna’s face broke into a giant smile.

“
Daddy, you’re silly! Your house is awesome. She’ll love it. And if she doesn’t, I know you’d find her a new one.” Outwitted by his ten-year old daughter. Fantastic.

“
Your mom and I haven’t really talked about her moving here, or me moving there. I think maybe I should talk to her about that first, don’t you?” Brent exhaled and ran a hand over his face, forgetting briefly that his daughter could see him. “Those are things you should talk about before you talk about getting married.” He finally said.

Brenna’s face looked concerned. “I know you guys were going to get married before mama had to go away to have me. So if she never went away you guys would already be married and she would live in San Diego. So we should move there, not you here.” She nodded her head as if everything was already settled. For her, it probably was.