Soul Bonded (21 page)

Rafe startled, acknowledged her with a brief nod, then picked up the thick sandwich laden with nothing but meat and took a ravenous bite. His eyes glowed briefly amber at the first taste, and Katie nearly hesitated before sitting down beside him. That he seemed more interested in lunch than her reassured her that he hadn’t noticed her slight lapse. She still believed to the bottom of her soul that he would never hurt her, but those eyes were difficult to get used to.

“I didn’t think you would want quite as much meat as me,” Rafe mumbled between bites. “But there’s plenty in the kitchen, so help yourself.”

She eyed the generous mound of thinly sliced meat and vegetables he’d prepared for her, amused at his concern. “This is more than enough.”

He grinned. “We’ve been working up an appetite today. Figured we could use the energy for tonight.” He took another giant bite, rumbling in satisfaction. “I know I’m starving.”

Katie nibbled at her sandwich as she studied him as subtly as possible. His muscles were bunched and tense, his entire body wound tight. “This must be exhausting for you. Having your body hijacked, spending the entire day in overdrive.”

Rafe shrugged. “I’m used to it by now. It’s not usually this bad.” He glanced at her, then away.
 

She picked up on the subtext. “I’m sorry I’m making things difficult.” Reflecting upon that statement for a moment, Katie sighed. “Really, I’ve made your entire life difficult. No matter how tonight ends, I can’t imagine that you’ll be able to simply fall back into your old routine. You’ll have blood on your hands and a human girlfriend that your friends despise.”

He polished off his sandwich, brushed his hands on his pants, and turned to touch her knee. Comforted by the heavy weight of his hand, she managed another bite. She wasn’t hungry, but Rafe was right—she needed the energy.
 

“I don’t want to fall back into my old routine.” Rafe sounded so sincere that Katie didn’t doubt him for an instant. “You weren’t a part of that routine and that means it’s not worth missing for even a second. Understand?”

She nodded, throat stinging. “Okay.”

Rafe squeezed her knee. “Now tell me about being a kid. I’ll bet you were a spirited little thing.”

The affection in his voice made her feel cherished in a way she’d never come close to experiencing. With all of the sexual intensity between them, moments of quiet warmth had been difficult to find today. But here Rafe was, closer to sunset than ever, and he’d just made her feel as adored as she ever had. “I was precocious. A know-it-all. I watch home movies and cringe.”

“I like a woman with confidence.” Rafe sat back and put some distance between them.
 

“My older sister Erin is the same way. We used to butt heads a lot. She’s even more stubborn than I am. We would fight like crazy—drive mom and dad nuts—but we were always best friends.” Katie smiled as she thought about Erin, then ducked her head when tears threatened to spill over. “I really hope I get to see her again.”

Rafe took her hand, stroking his fingers over her wrist. “You will.” He lifted her face with his other hand. “What about your parents? Do you still have them?”

“Yes, and they’re still married. They live down near San Jose. Erin lives in San Francisco, with me.” She paused, then said, “Not
with
me. Close to me.”

“I’m sure they’re worried about you.” Regret colored his tone. “I’m sorry I wasn’t able to let you contact them.”

“Soon enough,” Katie said in as light a voice as she could manage. “Maybe tomorrow the roads will clear and we can drive to town.”

He swallowed. “Yes, hopefully. The good news is that it’s stopped snowing, and the sun was shining when I went outside earlier. I won’t be surprised if some of the snow melts off today.”

“That is good news.” Aware that they needed to pass the time with innocuous conversation, Katie returned to answering Rafe’s question. “I was always interested in art. I started drawing with crayons and colored pencils when I was three or four years old—not your typical pre-school drawings, I guess. I started to focus on graphic design in college, but as a teenager I did mostly charcoals and pencil drawings. I still do, for fun.”

“I’d love to see your work.”

“I’d like that.” Warmed by the genuine interest Rafe exuded, Katie said, “My parents were afraid that I would graduate from college and become a starving artist, but I was always too practical for that. That’s where computers came in. Luckily, that allowed me to develop a reasonably lucrative career that’s still related to my passion.”

“I’ve always been into photography, myself,” Rafe murmured.

She thought back to the pictures that lined the walls of the guest room. They were beautiful—she’d even thought so when she’d been convinced that Rafe was a serial rapist and/or murderer. “You took the pictures on the walls?”

Sheepish, he tipped his head. “I’m not artistic like you are, but I enjoy taking pictures.”

“You’re very artistic. There were some gorgeous shots.” Katie made a mental note to examine his work again. That he had creative tendencies reassured her that perhaps they were well-suited for one another in more ways than just having a supernatural connection. “My sister is a general surgeon. That’s one area where we couldn’t have been more different. She was the practical one, I was more of a dreamer.”

“I hid the photography from my pack mates for a long time. I knew I’d be ridiculed for having such a ‘soft’ interest.”

“As far as I’m concerned, your social circle would benefit from a little more softness.” She touched Rafe’s foot, hoping to lighten the mood, but he recoiled as though burned. He shot her an apologetic look and she reassured him with a tentative smile. “You’re a good man. A good wolf.”

Rafe didn’t look convinced. “I wonder how your family would feel about me.”

“If they knew everything or if they got a censored version of your biographical information?”

Rafe’s chuckle was tinged with sadness. “The censored version would probably be safest.”

“Then they’ll love you.” She poked him with her toe, just enough to get his attention. “What’s not to love?”

She hated the brief flash of self-loathing that passed over his face. “You obviously don’t belong in my world, but I worry that I would be just as out-of-place in yours.”

“Unless you go wolf right in front of my family, trust me, you’ll compare favorably to my ex-boyfriends. You’re the kindest, most considerate, well-mannered man I’ve ever dated.” She paused, embarrassed to realize that she was admitting a shitty taste in men. “I’ve never had a guy make me feel as genuinely loved as you do.”

“I can’t say I’m sorry that I get to be that guy,” Rafe murmured, “but I do regret that no one has ever given you a better twenty-four hours than we’ve just spent. Or made you feel more loved.” Familiar guilt tightened his features. “You deserve better.”

Katie shook her head. “I’m happy with what I’ve got.” Crazily, it was true. Despite the fear she’d felt since meeting him, despite the danger, she considered herself lucky. To be alive, and to have found this surreal connection with another living creature. Even if he wasn’t the same species as her. She giggled quietly—could her ever-pragmatic sister even believe the truth about her new boyfriend? “Erin will be happy I’ve found someone who treats me well. The guy I was with before my most recent ex wasn’t very nice. To say that Erin was upset when she found out is an understatement.”

Rafe went very still, eyes glowing dangerously. “Not nice how?” His words came out as a fierce snarl. Just like that, he looked ready to kill a man he’d never met. For her.

Alarmed by the intensity of his reaction, Katie waved off his concern. “He was a jerk, that’s all. Mostly during arguments. Called me names, got slightly physical once or twice.” She’d left him the day he’d smacked her across the face during a screaming match over the fact that she’d been asked to work late. Prior to that night, the worst David had done was grab her arm and squeeze. A blow to the face had been the last straw. The rising fury in Rafe’s expression made her wish she hadn’t brought up the subject. “I left him before it got too bad, Rafe. I swear.”

His anger swiftly turned to sorrow. “And now you’re with me.”

She didn’t know if it was their encounter that morning or his potential for unconscious violence during the full moon that brought such remorse to his tone. Either way, she still had faith that he would only ever protect her. “You’ve never hurt me,” Katie said quietly. She touched his leg, aware that it would incite fierce desire, but held him back with a sober look. “You won’t.”

He stared at her until his eyes threatened to spill over. “I honestly couldn’t live with myself if I did.”

“I know.” She brought her hand to his face, unable to stop herself though she knew her touch would be torture. He surprised her by placing his hand over hers, then he turned and kissed her palm. Katie exhaled. “We’ll figure this out, Rafe. I swear.”

Nodding, he cleared his throat and looked away. “Have you ever been in love before?”

“I thought so, once. In college.” Her second boyfriend had been a sweet enough guy—except for his fear of monogamy. Unfortunately, she’d only discovered that flaw after two years and no-doubt countless affairs. “At the time I felt strongly about him. Way more strongly than he felt about me, as it turned out. It seems a little silly now, looking back.” She paused. “It doesn’t compare to the feelings I have for you.”

“Of course not.” Rafe managed a self-deprecating smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “He didn’t have the ability to join your soul to his while you were unconscious. So I had an unfair advantage.”

“I’m not convinced I wouldn’t have fallen in love with you even if that hadn’t happened.”

A wistful shrug. “Guess we’ll never know.”

“If we were meant to be bonded, I’m pretty sure it would have happened whether I was conscious or not. Besides, I don’t really care how we got here.” She scooted slightly closer, and he finally allowed her to make eye contact. “The important part is that I
do
love you—and I trust you with my life.”

“Good thing.” He tried to force humor into his voice, but couldn’t produce convincing levity. “Because I don’t think you have much choice.”

Katie glanced at the front door, then the boarded windows that blocked the outdoors from view. What was the other pack doing? Was Lisa plotting a particularly twisted revenge or simply stewing in her hatred? She mentally reviewed the group outside and shuddered. “The one who bit me is out there.”

“I know.” Rafe bared his teeth. “Can’t wait to bite
him
.”

Gross, but she appreciated his desire for vengeance. Clearly the moon was bringing out Rafe’s primal side in a big way.
 

Despite his bravado, it was hard not to worry about how he would manage to not only subdue the monster who’d so easily taken her down with one bite, but also nine of his meanest friends. This morning she’d allowed Rafe to convince her that he had the situation under control, but this close to sundown, it seemed like he was facing an impossible task—one suited to an action movie where happy endings happened only because of audience demand and not reality. Fear of losing him clutched at her insides, and she struggled valiantly not to throw herself into his arms and refuse to let go.

“What’s wrong?”
 

She shivered at the quiet concern in his suddenly gentle voice. “I’m scared.”

“Katie—“

“I know you’re strong, Rafe, but so are they. And there are so
many
of them.”

He put his hand under her chin and turned her away from the front door, forcing her to look at him. “I’m the good guy. I’ll be fine.”

How she wished it were that simple. “But—“

Rafe stopped her mouth with his. She grabbed his biceps on instinct, at first pulling him close, then, remembering his fragile state, she hastily pushed him away. Or at least she tried. He tightened his grip on her arms, not allowing her to retreat. Despite his persistence, the kiss itself was almost undemanding—not at all like their frenzied coupling that morning. It filled her with the most amazing sense of peace and reassurance, like everything would be okay as long as they were together. She relaxed and kissed him back, allowing their intimacy to chase away her fears. By the time they broke apart minutes later, foreheads pressed together, Katie’s panic had receded to a manageable level. Though she would never totally shake her fear of losing him, somehow he’d passed her his confidence and faith that they would be all right through the joining of their lips.

Incredible.

“No more worrying about me,” Rafe rumbled. He eased back and reclined against the other end of the couch, chest rising and falling rapidly. “You should go nap. I doubt we managed more than four or five hours of sleep last night, and you’ll need all the energy you can get.”

She hated the thought of being away from him for even a second. “Will you nap with me?”

“Can’t.” His hand dropped between his legs and he adjusted his visible arousal with a subtle wince. “No way I can sleep this close to sun down.”

Then she wouldn’t either. “I’m not tired.”

“Katie, you’re going to need the rest. Trust me. Falling asleep is not an option once I transform. You’re going to have to be on guard all night long and that won’t be easy if you’re exhausted.” He nudged her with his bare foot, the simple contact sending a shiver down her spine. “How about if I stay with you while you sleep?”

Knowing he was right, she gave in with a reluctant nod. “I just hate to waste our last few hours together.”

“It’s not a waste.” Rafe stood and offered her his hand, then pulled her to her feet and into his arms. She snuggled into him happily, all too aware of his erection pressed against her stomach. “Consider this nap an investment in our future. The more well-rested you are, the better chance we both have of making it through tonight. Okay?”

She stepped back and took his hand, leading him to the bedroom behind her. “Okay.” He stopped when they reached the doorway. Katie took another couple steps, then turned to face him. “Will you lie down with me?”