Sophie's Heart (58 page)

There was a moment of silence.

“Are you teasing me, Alec?”

“No. I was pretty surprised myself, but she seemed genuine enough.”

“Oh, Alec, she does not have to do this.” Sophie’s voice was pained, but not for herself. “I do not want to see her hurting. I will be all right if the rest of you want to go.”

“I understand what you’re trying to do, Sophie, but I don’t think Peg will take it that way. I guess she’s really trying. If you turn away this olive branch, I think it will really put her off.”

“Put like that,” Sophie told him, “I will be glad to go. Is it dress-up?”

“Fitzgerald’s. I’ve eaten there many times wearing jeans, but I think Jim and Peg will be a little more dressy.”

“All right. Shall I walk over?”

“No, I’ll come for you. We haven’t discussed the time yet, but it will probably be around six.”

“Okay.”

“What are you going to do with the rest of your day tomorrow?”

“I’m going to help Mrs. Kent with her garden.”

“How is her ankle coming?”

“I think better, but she will not slow down. I know that Mr. Kent worries.”

“The kids and I prayed last night for all of you.”

“Thank you, Alec. I told Mr. Parman that I never had a chance to use what I learned in Life-style Evangelism, and now I have two people on my doorjamb.”

Alec chucked, but it was a silent laugh. He’d been wandering around the room with the cordless phone, but now he flopped on the bed, closed his eyes, and just pictured her in his mind. She would be barefoot since she always kicked her shoes off the moment she arrived home, and she would have her reading glasses on. He had only caught her in them a few times, but they were adorable on her huge, dark eyes.

“You have become very quiet.”

“Yes, I have. I was thinking about you.”

“Good thoughts, or am I in trouble?”

“Terrible trouble,” his voice now teased in order to hide his emotions. Sophie sighed on the other end, and for a time they didn’t say anything.

“I miss you,” Sophie suddenly said with wonder, “whenever our routine is not the same. I am glad that Fraziers are here, but I miss just being with you and the children.”

“I know what you mean, but I’m in worse shape because I’m growing very selfish in my old age. I want to be with you, but I’m often tempted to tell the kids to find something else to do.”

Sophie smiled. “Are we friends, Alec?” she asked suddenly.

“Yes.”

“Will we ever be more than friends?”

“I think we will, but I’d rather discuss it when we’re together.”

“I can’t,” Sophie admitted. “I would not have had courage if you could see my face.”

Alec was quiet for just a few heartbeats. “So what is it that you really want to know?”

“I am not sure.”

Again they were quiet—Alec desperately wishing he could be with her, and Sophie, face burning even though she was alone, wishing she’d never asked.

“I have been unfair, Alec. We have not dated many weeks, and now I put a spot on you. I am sorry.”

“No, Sophie, no. I’m not quiet because I’m upset or feeling put on the spot. I’m just trying to find the words. You’re not a passing fling for me, Sophie. In fact, I feel very strongly about you. For that reason, sometimes I have to tell myself to go slow.”

“Is this true, Alec? You force yourself to be slow?” Sophie had had no idea.

“Yes. You told me you did not want to rush this, and I think that’s wise, but it’s not always easy.”

Sophie couldn’t say anything for a time. She really did believe it was wise to move with caution, but in doing so she hadn’t had any idea how he felt.

“I think I’ve lost you,” Alec said softly across the line.

“No, but I am thinking now, too. In going slow we do not know what we are doing. I cannot have rushing with kissing and such, but I need to know my standing. Why are we dating? Is there a future here? Do we want that, or are we only having fun for a time? Am I make sense?”

“Perfectly, and I’m sorry I didn’t realize before.”

Sophie heard a lot of rustling around, and then Alec came back on the line.

“I’m holding a book in my hand—a book on marriage. I saw it advertised in a magazine, and hoping that someday we could read them together, I actually bought two of them at the Bread Shop in Madison. Have I scared you off, Sophie?”’

“No.” Sophie’s voice was breathless with excitement.

“Here, let me read the back cover to you.”

“All right.”

He cleared his throat. “ ‘Couples engaged, considering marriage, or husbands and wives who have been married for years, will all enjoy and benefit from this book. Sharing from personal experience, the authors honestly tell their own story in a humorous way that touches deeply. Biblical truths are at the core with practical tips and solid suggestions for gaining a greater knowledge of the man or woman in your life,’ and etcetera. I thought it sounded good. What do you think?”

“I think so, too.”

“Why don’t I get one of these to you tomorrow, then we’ll both read the first chapter and discuss it? In fact, the book has a discussion guide in the back. Does it sound like a plan?”

“Yes.” Sophie’s heart felt so light that she wanted to dance around. She would have made a joke to that effect, but Alec began to speak to someone in the room. Sophie thought it might have been Tory’s voice.

“I’m back.”

“Is there a problem?”

“No, but Tory wants me to put her to bed, so I’d better go.”

“All right.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Alec said quietly.

“Yes, and you’ll remember the book?”

He told her he would, and they hung up just a minute later. Alec had prayed for patience and at times it had been a real trial, but this was encouraging. This made things worth the wait. He shook his head at his own lack of comprehension.

Leave it to a man to think that when a woman wants to go slow, she’s talking about everything. Here she’s been ready to get serious about me, or at least to give the two of us a chance, and I’ve missed it because she’s not ready for me to kiss her again.

“Da-ad,” Tory called in a singsong voice from down the hall.

Alec tossed the cordless phone back in its base and moved toward the door, his thoughts awry.
I can hardly wait to know Sophie well enough to tell her what a mess I’ve been.

Fifty

S
ophie adjusted the cloth napkin in her lap and tried to still her nervous movements. The Fraziers had been genuinely kind, and Sophie could see that Peg was really trying, but for some reason she kept referring to Vanessa. Her voice was not malicious, but Sophie didn’t know how to reply.

She thought back on the way the evening had started, and the only thing on which she could put her finger was the way Alec had placed his hand on her back when they walked into the restaurant. Outside of that, there hadn’t been anything overt. Maybe Peg Frazier already suspected and was keeping a careful watch. If this were true, then the stories about Vanessa must have been something of a warning. In some ways, Sophie couldn’t blame the woman. It must be hard to have it seem as though Alec could choose someone to take her daughter’s place.

For this reason Sophie was careful not to look at Alec too much or even share very often in the conversation. It was nice of the Fraziers to include her, but she was with the Riley family all of the time, and the grandparents only had this weekend. Things improved toward the end of the evening when Jim shared about the cruise they would be taking, but the meal had been rather stressful. By the time they left the restaurant, Sophie’s head ached.

Alec had driven, so everyone piled into the van. Sophie had sat in the rear with Rita and Tory on the way to the restaurant, and the seating arrangement was the same on the way home. To Sophie’s surprise, however, Alec drove to his own house first and then casually announced to everyone that he would be taking Sophie home and returning in a little while. Sophie was afraid to look at Peg Frazier, but smiled a little when Rita winked at her as the teen left the van.

“Why don’t you come up here?” Alec suggested when everyone had stepped out of the van and moved toward the house. Sophie moved up front with a minimum of fuss and buckled herself into the seat.

“Are you all right?” Alec asked as he pulled away.

“Yes. I just have a little headache.”

“Was it all the talk about Vanessa?”

“Not really. I have never minded hearing about your wife, but I want Mrs. Frazier to be comfortable with me. I do not like to see her in pain, and I do not want anyone to see me as a threat.”

I can believe that,
Alec thought to himself.
You’re one of the most selfless people I’ve ever known, and I wish right now I could tell you everything I’m feeling in my heart.

“Did I seem threatening to you, Alec?”

“No,” he answered at once. “You were a great listener. I think they might be noticing that we’re seeing each other. Even though it will be hard, Peg is going to have to deal with it.”

“Will it be rather difficult when you return tonight?”

They were walking up the Kents’ driveway now, and Alec reached for Sophie’s hand. Drawing it through his arm, he continued toward her small home.

“I don’t think so. I’m sure you can tell that Peg is trying very hard, and I think she’ll continue to do so. They don’t leave until Monday morning, and for the first time I’m not dying to see them go.”

“Do not worry about me for church tomorrow,” Sophie assured him. “It is an easy walk from here.”

“I wish I could invite you over for the day, but—”

Sophie was already shaking her head. “I have you all the time, but Fraziers are only here for the weekend. It is best this way.”

They were in Sophie’s tiny living room now, and Alec had taken the chair. He looked across at her and didn’t comment.
I have you all the time
. Alec couldn’t get the words from his head. Was she really content with the way things were? He longed to have her with him more, but maybe she—

“Did you bring the book, Alec?” Sophie’s voice cut across his thoughts.

“No, I’m sorry. I plan to talk to my in-laws about us, but I didn’t think it was fair to let them see the title of that book without an explanation.”

Sophie nodded, but she was disappointed.

“I’ll try to sneak away tomorrow and bring it to you.”

“All right.”

For some reason they both fell silent. Sophie still had a headache, but more than that, she felt like she had done something wrong. Alec’s eyes had looked so disappointed. Was it her, or the situation? She desperately wanted to voice these questions, but she didn’t think she should delay him. Mrs. Frazier had said something about a cake; they were probably waiting dessert for him right now. With that thought in mind, Sophie stood.

“I better let you go, Alec.”

He stood as well, reluctance covering his movements. “I’ll probably see you at church.”

“Yes.”

Alec looked at her for a moment. “There’s something bothering you, isn’t there?”

“I thought there might be something with you,” Sophie told him.

Alec sighed. “If we start on this, I’ll never get home.”

“True.”

“It’s frustrating not to have the time.”

This was true as well, but Sophie didn’t know what to say.

“I’ll see you later,” Alec now said, and moved out the door. He looked back for just an instant and saw that Sophie had moved to watch him. He lifted his hand, and she did the same. Hating his inconsistency, Alec turned away. One minute he was thrilled to have the chance of dating her at all, and the next he was frustrated over their lack of time.

Get it together, Alec
, he cautioned himself.
You had plenty of time to talk with your in-laws today, so you could have brought her that book. You can’t expect Sophie to read your mind. You’ve got to be up front with her and not leave her hanging.

Alec berated himself all the way to the van and then stopped dead in his tracks. Making a quick decision, he swiftly retraced his steps. He surprised Sophie to no end when he returned so quickly and knocked on her door.

“Why, Alec!”

“I’m sorry to startle you, but I wondered if you were free for dinner on Friday night.”

“Dinner? Just the two of us?”

“Yes. Nothing fancy, just lots of time to talk.”

Sophie sighed. “I would like that, Alec. I would like it very much.”

It was a much sweeter note on which to end. Sophie’s heart had been so heavy when he had left. They had spent so much time together in the past weeks, especially on the weekends, and now having that time interrupted felt awful. As much as Sophie tried to be thankful that Alec and the children could have this time with the Fraziers, she felt lonely. Her own place was so small that it took her no time to clean, and she found herself wandering aimlessly from room to room.

“Get outside of yourself,” Sophie said to her empty bedroom. “Are you such a shell these days that if you’re left on your own, you’re helpless?”

Sophie did not like the way she was feeling. She wasn’t afraid of becoming more deeply involved with Alec and the children, but this discontentment was wrong. Had their lights been on, Sophie would have knocked on the Kents’ back door for an evening visit, but all was dark. Sophie double-checked her front door and windows and took her Bible to the bedroom. She read until she was too tired to keep her eyes open and then fell asleep with the light on. She woke early, but very refreshed, knowing in her heart who she was and how God would want her to be.