I flopped down on the rock beside her. “That's the way it seemed.”
“This kai cannot see. It burns what moves, what disturbs it. Even after drinking the water.”
“Except the horses.”
“The horses were quiet. It didn't know they were there. It aimed at you because you spoke. I've brought every manner of deer and mountain sheep, wild pig and goat in here. They squeak and grunt and bleat, and it burns them all. Every one. Every time. The water made no difference.”
“Horses are sacred to Keldar.”
“Nonsense.”
“Bring in the horses again. Wake him again and you'll see. He knows what's food and what's not.”
She glared at me in angry disbelief. “And so it thinks you are food?”
“No. He tried to burn me because he hated me.” Even as I said it, I was more convinced.
“You can't have it both ways, Senai. Four weeks ago you said it spoke to you âwith love.' Today it hates you. What's the difference?”
That, of course, was the essential question. “I don't know. The words. The weather. Today he was free of your stone.” My head ached miserably. I was nauseous with the stink of dragon and carrion and the fireproof grease on the leather. The stink ...
“He smells us.” I wanted to shout it out, but my head hurt too fiercely.
“What?”
“That's the difference. Stupid of me not to think of it. He can smell the difference: horses, deer, pigs ... Riders.”
“We've never seen evidence they can smell anything. They burn and kill whatever moves unless it holds a bloodstone.”
“And any Rider who wields a bloodstoneâthe thing that drives it madâwears armor like this.” I drew off my gauntlets. “They all smell alike. Who's to say dragons would kill any human if they weren't commanded so by their Riders?”
“You've no proof. You know nothing of dragons.”
“We've no time for proof.” I stripped off my vest and the breeches, the boots, and the greaves. “Wake him again.”
“You can't mean this.”
“Give me time to wash off the smell.” I jumped down again and dodged a pile of burning bones to find my way to the waterfall. Standing in the shallow pool at its base, I scrubbed my skin and my clothes with handfuls of sand. Lara stood beside the pool watching my antics with angry astonishment.
“You're mad. Absolutely mad. If it weren't for the armor your bones would still be burning. They'd hear your screams down in Cor Talaith.”
“If it weren't for the armor, I'd be talking with Keldar.”
“I won't do it.”
“Lara”âI stepped out of the pool dripping and shivering though the cavern was not at all coldâ“it's the third day. Your brother will have the legion at our door anytime now. If this is going to happen, if the godsâwhoever they areâwish the dragons to be free, then we've got to find the way right now. Help me.”
She hadn't moved, and I was closer to her than I had ever been, close enough to know that beneath her leather vest she was quivering, strung tight as an archer's drawn bowstring. Her face was carved from rose-colored granite, but her brown hair was shining and I wanted nothing more than to bury my face in it and forget about everything else in the world.
Lara, of course, brought me quickly back to my senses. She shrugged with a muttered curse and turned her back, climbing the red rock tower once more. I watched her go; then I set off an entirely different way, circling the steam pits and jumping cracks in the stone until I reached the edge of the dark pool, twenty paces from the dragon's head. The water trickled into it from Narim's stone trough, water stolen from the fiery lake of my visions. I settled myself on the stone and looked up at the copper-scaled head so close I could feel the hot breath from the raw, red nostrils. I did not look over my shoulder. No need. I just raised one hand briefly, then rested it in my lap again and held myself ready.
As I knew it would, her voice rang out soon after. “Awaken, child of fire and wind. Drink of the water of fire and live. Be troubled no more by the stone that galls you so sorely ... and harm not the fools who put themselves at your mercy.”
I smiled to myself and awaited the onslaught.
LARA
Chapter 20
I am a warrior born. My father was a Dragon Rider, seventh wingrider of the First Family of the Ridemark, and the Riders of our line had been no less than a tenth flanker for nine generations. In Gondar, in Eskonia and Florin, in the farthest provinces of Elyria, never did the line of Govin reap anything but honor and victory for the clan. From the first days of my memory I believed that the blood of the Ridemark flowed true within my veins and that I was destined to follow in the footsteps of my ancestors.
We did not live as the soft races did. My familyâmother, brother, two grandmothers, two uncles, one aunt, and three cousinsâslept in a tent twelve paces square. We owned only what we could carry on our backs as we followed the legion from one encampment of mud and beast-filth to another. Warriors cannot afford comfort; it brings weakness. I could not understand how anyone who slept under wood or stone held up his head without shame.
My father lived with his dragon. We were sure to see him once a year when he came to mate with my mother to keep her his wife. And he would always return if he heard any report of disrespect or disobedience from Desmond or me. Whenever a dragon flew above our tent, I imagined it was his, and I held my head high.
My fighting skills came early. I stood still for no insult from my older brother or any Ridemark child. I did not lower myself to fight children of other races, but frightened them with my whip and did as I pleased. In the strip of mud between our tent and the next, I played at strategy and tactics with bits of wood and stone, choosing wild dogs and prowling cats as my enemies if I could find no one willing to stand up to me.
And on the day that Desmond began his training to prepare him for our family's rightful place as a Dragon Rider, I stepped forward, too. I told the Ridemaster that I was also ready, though I was only six instead of eight. I knew the Rider's oath and the Twelve Laws. I could hook my whip and climb anything. I could recite the names of our heroes to the tenth generation and the names of our enemies from the beginning of time, and I could argue the long grievances that festered in our hearts. But on that same day I learned the hard truth no one had bothered to tell me before: that females could render any service the Twelve Families required except ride to war on the back of a dragon.
For three days I raged and wept every time I saw Desmond take his whip from its hook and leave for his training in the lair. “Quit your mewling,” my father told me, “or I'll marry you into the Twelfth Family, where men take multiple wives. You'll not be allowed to speak save with your husband's leave or show your shameful face without a veil.” My mother slapped me and said, “What worthy warrior requires a beast to shed our enemies' blood? The swordwomen of your clan fight alongside the men who are not Riders born. That is enough.” By the time I was eight I was resigned to the belief that unyielding honor was the only true glory of a clansman. Though I was not happy with it, it would have to do.
Then Aidan MacAllister, “beloved of the gods,” came to our camp. His musicâhis glorious music that my clansmen swore came from the fire god Vanir himselfâturned my head inside out. I lived in the visions he made that night. I felt my hair streaming behind me as I soared through a world of wind and clouds and stars, and from that time forward I could think of nothing but flying. No warrior can be at peace when his master denies him the weapon he was born to wield. I resolved to ride upon a dragon, even if my clansmen cut out my heart for it. Because of Aidan MacAllister I forsook my oaths and betrayed my honor. I lied to my commander. I hid. I plotted. I stole. And for the span of two heartbeats I owned the wind and clouds and stars. Then came the terror and the screaming and the fire.
Aidan MacAllister had cursed my life, and when I saw him in Cor Talaith, I relived every moment of the horror he had brought down on meâthe day I fell from the sky burning and knew it was just retribution for my sins. Is it any wonder I hated him?
Narim told me the Senai had been a prisoner of the Ridemark all those years since my fall, but I would not believe it. No Senai singer, so weak, so soft, so cowardly, could survive seventeen years in a Ridemark prison. “He's been hiding,” I said, “while I'm forced to live forever with what he's done.” The everlasting ugliness I wore on my face. A lifetime of exile from my clan. There was no going back to the Ridemark. I had done the unforgivable, and the price on my head was almost as high as that on MacAllister's. I would not be killed or imprisoned, but have one hand cut off so I could not steal and one foot cut off so I could not run. I would live in servitude baser than any slave. I was sure that the despicable Senai was using the Elhim, weaving tales with his lying tongue to win their sympathy, making them believe he was their savior so they would protect him from our justice. “He was a spy,” I claimed in my unending arguments with Narim. “He was sent into Ridemark camps by Senai nobles to corrupt our honor.”
So why did I not kill him? If will alone could shed blood, MacAllister's veins would have been emptied at my first glance. But I was bound to Narim's wishes, a sacred debt because he had saved my life. It was enough to drive me crazy, so sure was I of my hate.
But then the singer came to live with me, and all my beliefs were confounded. I scorned him for huddling by the fire, and he offered to share his tea. I reviled him for his cowardice at the kai's lair, and he made me soup. I ridiculed his noble ancestry, and he laughed at himself and cleaned my hearth. I drove him unmercifully in his schooling, and he devoured it as if I'd gifted him with jewels. No matter how I goaded him, he would not get angry and free my revenge from Narim's bond. I had never known a man of such gentle ways and teasing humor, and I could only chalk it up to weakness, because I had no other way to explain it. I counted him pitiful ... until the night I first saw his mangled hands.
I remembered well the long, slender fingers that had touched the strings of his harp and drawn forth his cursed visionsâeverything about the tall Senai youth who had corrupted my soul was imprinted on my memoryâand I knew no accident and no disease could have transformed them so precisely into that hideous ruin. It made me think Narim's story might be true, and where I had seen only a hated enemy, I began to see a man.
I despised my weakness and redoubled my effort to prove him a fraud. But I found steel beneath his soft-spoken manner. I could not break him. Despite his struggles with the tasks I set him, he lived with everything of gentleness and grace. So I decided that, though I could not trust him and could not forgive him, I could not let him be sent back to those who had done him so ill.
Then came the night by the kai's lair, the night he poured out all of himself in his fear and in his longing, and I was at last convinced that everything I had seen of him was truth. I tried to persuade myself that I still hated him. To give it up was to forswear vengeance for everything that had happened to me, and to lay open my own actions ... oh, curse the world forever ... like cutting through ripe fruit and finding only black and rotted pulp. But I could not maintain my hatred, though I forced myself to say the words where he could hear them, as if another hearing could make them real. I wanted to make him fear me, as was right and proper. But my truest hope was that he would tell me one more time that he had not meant to do me harm. I wanted him to agree that people could cause the most dreadful horrors with the best of intentions, and that my confession had made him see things in a new light. I wanted him to absolve himself of his crime and thereby absolve me of mine. But he retreated into silence, and I damned myself for a fool.
Narim, my old friend, my only friend, how could you do this to me? You knew what he was. You knew the utter impossibility. You have the wisdom of five hundred years. How could you not guess what would happen? What warrior weeps when she sets out to do battle?
Â
And so came the morning of our venture into the kai's lair, the moment Aidan stripped off his armor and sat unprotected in the path of the dragon fire. I stood on the rock in the lair of the blind kai, and for the second time that day I raised the kai'cetâthe bloodstoneâand called out its power. “Awaken, child of fire and wind. ...” The kai bellowed with fury, crazed at being dragged from sleep again.
The fires blazed, reflecting in the still pool until it glowed orange like the lake of its origin, revealing the man who sat beside it, holding his belly as if a warrior had speared him in the gut. His eyes were fixed on the kai's head. He would have no escape if the beast belched fire. As for the beast, its mindless hatred was aimed at me. For as long as the kai'cet and I held sway, MacAllister was safe. If he was right, then once I moved far enough away and released control, he would be able to speak to the beast. It would not happen. Aidan MacAllister was going to die.
Well and good. What do I care? He is Senai. My enemy. Let this playacting be done with.
But I had given Narim my word to do as the Senai commanded, so I climbed down from my perch and held the kai'cet high. I moved quickly toward the cave mouth, screaming at the monster to keep his attention on me. The kai lashed his tail against the stone, drumming the walls until it sounded as if the doom of the world was come. The round opening high on the western wall, where Narim had first brought MacAllister to see the dragon, disappeared in an avalanche of dirt and rocks, its earthen roof collapsed by the force of the blows.
“Hold your burning!” I screamed, as the nostrils gaped and arrows of orange flame darted from them, blackening the ceiling of the cavern. MacAllister did not move, only watched. I knew he was afraid and in pain, yet he neither cried out, nor begged me to stop it, nor ran, nor hid, nor covered his eyes.