Song of Her Heart (14 page)

Pulling out a chair and seating her, he handed her a menu. “Do you want the buffet tonight?”

She shook her head. “Just a bowl of vegetable soup and salad. And a cup of hot tea after I've eaten.”

At least a hundred people had converged on the dining room about the time Norah's soup was served. She concentrated on her food, but she couldn't avoid awareness of the other guests as they gathered around the buffet line. The majority of them were of Native American descent.

When she realized she was the only guest other than the special party, Norah ate her food hurriedly. She was curious about the gathering, but she didn't want to intrude on their festivities, so she decided to return to her room. She signaled the waitress and canceled her order for tea.

Her remark must have been overheard, for a dis
tinguished-looking man approached her. “Ma'am, we apologize for ruining your dinner. I know we're noisy, but this is a special occasion, and since you're alone, why not join us? I'm Smith Eagleton. We're honoring a woman who has served the Sioux nation for years. It would be our privilege to have you stay with us.”

He nodded toward a short, wizened, gray-haired woman, apparently the guest of honor.

Norah believed his invitation was sincere, and since she wanted to put off her personal decision a little longer, she agreed to stay. Smith Eagleton brought her a piece of cake and a cup of tea.

Apparently master of ceremonies for the evening, Smith soon stepped up on a platform and called the group to order.

“We're here tonight to pay tribute to Emma Curtis, who came to the Sioux Reservation as a missionary schoolteacher sixty years ago. She's had a tremendous impact on hundreds of Sioux children, setting our feet on the right path as she taught us our ABCs.”

The program continued as several men and women, who'd prospered in the business world, reported that they owed their success to Miss Emma's guidance. The shy little woman was finally brought to the platform where she was given a large album filled with letters from her former students.

The climax of the program came when Smith said, “Two years ago, Miss Emma retired from active teaching and went to live with her sister. Now her sister has died, and Miss Emma has no home. So, out of respect for Miss Emma and the life she dedicated to our people, we've established a foundation in her honor, the proceeds of which will pay her expenses to live in a retirement community of her choice. When the day comes that Miss Emma no longer needs the income, the money will be invested in a scholarship fund in her memory, the proceeds to help deserving Sioux youth attend college.”

Miss Emma was an agile octogenarian, and during the applause, she walked briskly to the podium and took the microphone from the emcee.

“What a fuss!” she said sternly in her best teacher's voice. “I've a notion to make all of you stand in the corner.”

Loud laughter greeted her remark, but when she said quietly into the microphone, “That's enough. Let me have your attention,” the group quieted down quickly. The teacher had spoken!

Clutching the large album, containing accolades from former students, in her fragile arms, Miss Emma gave a great smile. “Perhaps now's the time to tell you that I came reluctantly to the reservation. For you see, I didn't want to be a schoolteacher. I
wanted to enter the convent, but my parents absolutely refused to let me become a nun. For years, it's been a disappointment to me that I didn't get to do what I believed God had called me to do. But as I look back over my life, I realize that God sent me where I was supposed to be. As your teacher, I've impacted many more lives than I would have reached in the cloister. And I have been happy.”

Miss Emma's words hit Norah hard like a slap in the face, and she slipped quietly from the dining hall.

Norah walked to her room as dazed as if she were walking in her sleep. Was this her answer? Stunned by the similarity of Miss Emma's situation and her own, Norah wondered if God was trying to tell her that her dedication to the mission field was
her
idea not His will for her life.

Oh, God, if this is true, then I don't have to hesitate any longer. If Mason knows that You've set me free from my youthful vow, surely he'll ask me to marry him. Is it possible that I can find fulfillment for my life as Mason's wife?

A
n hour later, when she left her room to get a bucket of ice, Norah saw Miss Emma at the door across the hall, inserting a key into the lock. She looked up at Norah with keen blue eyes.

Impulsively, Norah reached out her hand and said, “I was in the dining room earlier. Congratulations on your long and satisfying career.”

The blue eyes sparkled mischievously. “It wasn't always satisfying while I was teaching. We had lots of problems, but joys, too.”

“Miss Emma,” Norah said impulsively, “would you have time to talk with me tomorrow morning? I've come here to make some decisions about my future, and since part of your situation parallels mine, it would be helpful if I could talk to you.”

“I'll be leaving early in the morning, but I'll talk with you now.”

“Oh, but it's so late. I shouldn't bother you.”

“No bother at all. I've always been a night owl. I'll not go to bed for another hour or so.” She opened her door. “Come on in.”

With Miss Emma holding her hand, Norah told her everything—of her missionary call, the years she'd stayed with her family, her work with H & H, Louis's proposal and her love for Mason.

Miss Emma chuckled. “It's obvious you can't do all of those things. What do you want to do?”

“More than anything else, I want to do what God wants me to do, but I'd like to do that and have Mason, too.”

Miss Emma looked at her with complete understanding. “It took a long time for me to finally comprehend that
every
Christian is a missionary. God has a mission field for all of us—it might be in your own neighborhood, or maybe on the other side of the world, but He expects us to serve where we are.”

“I believe that, too,” Norah said. “In fact, my pastor said similar words to me when I had to give up my college plans to help at home.”

“I often think about the prophet Jonah, who ran away from his call when God told him to preach to
the people of Nineveh. But the Ninevites were Jonah's enemies, and he rebelled against God's call.”

“I've not really been rebellious,” Norah said slowly, “but I haven't always served willingly.”

Miss Emma patted Norah's shoulder. “My situation exactly, and, like Jonah, it took a while to learn my lesson. His experience proves that God cares about every human being whether that person is a businessman in New York City, a rancher in Nebraska, a tribesman in the heart of Africa or children on a Sioux reservation. The whole world is a mission field.”

“How long did it take you to know that God wanted you on the reservation rather than in the convent?”

Amusement lit Miss Emma's eyes, and she giggled—a trait seemingly so out of character for the little woman, that it was endearing. “Sixty years.”

“Then I still have a few years to learn what He wants to tell me,” Norah said lightly, adapting herself to Miss Emma's mood.

“You obviously are a compassionate person or you wouldn't have taken care of your brother with love and tenderness. Or have given yourself wholeheartedly to the children who came to H & H this summer.”

Norah stood, walked slowly around the room,
looking for a moment out the window. “So our mission field is wherever we are.”

“Right. There's no end to the needs of the world, but you're only one person. Jesus told His disciples, ‘Look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest. The harvest is plentiful but the laborers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into His harvest field.”'

“I memorized that Scripture when I was a child. Jesus also told His disciples to pray that God would send laborers into His field. He said, ‘Go! I'm sending you.' I believe that message was for me, too.”

Miss Emma nodded approvingly. “And no doubt it was, but you can't go everywhere. If God wants you to marry Mason King and live in the Sand Hills, you'll find your mission field there. But if it seems that you're to marry the other fellow and go to Africa, you'll get over your feelings for Mason. Only you can decide, but you'll know when you make the right decision by the peace that comes to your heart.”

Miss Emma laid her hand on Norah's head. “Your problem is that you expect your whole life's plan to be revealed before you act. Faith doesn't work that way. Sometimes we have to take one step at a time. Years ago, I came across a Bible verse that taught me to live by faith.”

“My faith is weak, Miss Emma, so will you share the verse with me?”

“The message is very meaningful in a modern translation, ‘I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go.' Based on those words, I made up a little slogan that I repeat often when the way before me is obscure—‘God knows best what is best for me.”'

“If you don't mind, I'd like to take that slogan for my own.”

“I'd be honored to think I've given you something to affirm your faith in God.”

Norah embraced Miss Emma's fragile shoulders. “I can understand why your former students honored you tonight,” she said. “I've only known you a few hours and you've already been a blessing to me. You've made my decision easier.”

Back in her room, Norah knelt beside the bed, her face resting on the pillow. It was humiliating to know that she'd spent most of her life fretting about things she should have accepted on faith. Hadn't Jesus once rebuked His disciples for their lack of faith?

When she couldn't remember the exact incident that had prompted Jesus's words to His disciples, she took her Bible and sat on the side of the bed. She soon found the passage where Jesus had ques
tioned the faith of His disciples when they were in a boat crossing the Sea of Galilee. Jesus was asleep when a sudden storm threatened to capsize the boat. Frightened, the disciples awakened Jesus and asked Him if He didn't care that they were going to perish.

Norah read the rest of the story aloud in the poetic King James Version of the Bible.

“And He arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, ‘Peace, be still.' And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.' And He said unto them, ‘Why are ye so fearful? How is it that ye have no faith?”'

Just as Jesus's words had calmed the disciples, peace flooded Norah's heart and mind. Her spirit was no longer filled with the roiling questions and doubts that had made her miserable for weeks. She laid aside the Bible, silently thanked God for showing her the way, got into bed and went to sleep.

 

After enjoying a restful night's sleep, Norah was awake when she heard Miss Emma's door open the next morning. Norah shrugged quickly into a robe and went into the hall. A small suitcase sat on the floor, and Miss Emma was locking the door. Norah handed her a piece of paper.

“Here's my name and a temporary address. Will you contact me when you're settled in your new home? Perhaps in your retirement years, you can
mentor those of us who need help. I'd like to keep in touch with you.”

“Have you reached a decision?”

“I won't marry Louis. He lives in Omaha, and I intend to telephone him this morning. It still may be right for me to go to the mission field, but not as his wife.”

Miss Emma smiled. “And your next step?”

“God hasn't revealed that yet, but, Lord willing, my intentions are to return to the Sand Hills today. I realize that I have to accept God's guidance daily, and not expect Him to give me a blueprint for the rest of my life. I'll meet each situation as it comes along. If I keep in close communion with God through Bible study and prayer, I believe He'll guide me daily.”

“I
know
He will,” Miss Emma agreed. “God bless you, Norah.”

“He already has! I've had a full life, but I didn't always recognize it as such. I'm sorry now that I didn't enjoy one day at a time without fretting about what might have been.”

Smith Eagleton came down the hallway and picked up Miss Emma's luggage. Norah waved goodbye as they walked away.

Since Louis had viewed the marriage as a convenience, rather than a love match, his heart wasn't involved, so the telephone conversation with him
wasn't as painful as Norah had feared. He received her decision with equanimity, although he did voice his regrets that she wouldn't be working with him.

Once this was done, Norah moved to terminate the conversation, but Louis said, “I've wondered if your refusal stems from your interest in Mr. King. Are you in love with him?”

“Yes, I am, but I can honestly say that my love for Mason didn't influence my decision. I've asked God to work His will in my life, and I'm sorry, but I'm definitely convinced that doesn't include marriage to you. But I'll always appreciate the fact that you asked me.”

 

Norah considered telephoning Mason and reporting her decision, but she preferred to tell him in person, so she packed quickly and checked out of the lodge. The miles seemed to drag by as she encountered more than one delay on the highway, and it was late afternoon before she turned off the highway to the Flying K property. She stopped in front of the ranch house, and her eagerness dropped to rock bottom when she realized the place was deserted.

She heard Pete and Repeat barking, and found them in their kennels behind the house. They whined piteously, and she took time to rub their heads. Mason's pickup was in the garage. When she walked
toward the barn, she saw that Mason had apparently been clearing away the debris from the barn wreckage. He'd even destroyed the silo, although he'd hoped that he could build the new barn beside the undamaged silo.

Baffled, Norah drove on to the Bar 8, disappointed that she had to wait longer to see Mason. But the Bar 8 ranch seemed deserted, too. Where was everyone?

Norah realized that the quietness didn't stem from the absence of the children and the H & H vans that she'd grown accustomed to during the summer. Both of the Johnsons' vehicles were gone and no tractors or other equipment were visible.

The answering machine light was blinking when Norah went into the kitchen. With a trembling finger, she pushed the button for a message.

“Norah,” Sheila's voice sounded, “I'm telephoning, Monday at noon. We're all at the Melham Memorial Hospital in Broken Bow. Mason was injured today while he was trying to clear away the tornado damage at the Flying K. The silo crumbled and fell on him. Call the hospital when you get home.”

“God knows best what is best for me,” Norah repeated over and over while her nervous fingers dialed the number Sheila had given and she waited until someone paged Sheila.

When Sheila reached the phone, considering her
rapid pulse rate, Norah said in a surprisingly calm voice, “This is Norah.”

“We tried to telephone you at Mahoney's, but you'd already checked out,” Sheila said in a strained voice.

“What happened?”

“Everyone thought the silo hadn't been damaged at all from the tornado, but apparently it had been. Mason was on the tractor today clearing away the debris of the barn, and the silo suddenly collapsed and fell on him. Doug's father was there helping, and he telephoned for help. There were twenty ranchers at the Flying K within a half hour. They uncovered Mason, or—” Sheila's voice trembled “—he'd have been buried alive.”

“How is he?”

“He's alive—that's all we know.”

“I'll leave immediately.”

Sheila gave directions to the hospital, adding, “Be careful, Norah. Don't drive fast and do something foolish. He'll probably be all right. The ambulance was there by the time the neighbors had dug him out of the rubble. Little time was lost getting him to the hospital.”

“See you soon.”

To lessen her concern for Mason, as she used all her willpower to observe the speed limit on the drive to Broken Bow, Norah recalled what she'd learned
from Miss Emma last night and repeated over and over, “God knows best what is best for me.”

The streetlights were glowing when she drove into Broken Bow and up the hill to the hospital. When Norah stepped from her car and walked into the hospital on unsteady legs, the large United States flag was snapping in a northwest wind that also wafted the unmistakable smell of the nearby cattle feed lot.

A nurse directed her to the emergency room's waiting area where she found Sheila, Doug, and his parents, Paul and Mary.

I will not cry,
Norah said mentally when Sheila ran to her. Norah put her arms around Sheila as she looked over her shoulder to Paul Johnson, whose worried countenance wasn't reassuring.

“What news is there?”

“Not much,” Paul said. “The doctor talked to us an hour ago. Mason is bruised all over, has several cracked ribs and his right hip is fractured. He's still unconscious, and the doctor is concerned about a blow to his head.”

“How long before they know anything about his recovery?”

Paul shook his head. “Maybe not for days.”

“We've decided that some of us need to stay here,” Doug said. “We were getting ready to go to
a motel and make reservations for the night. Do you want us to reserve a room for you?”

“No,” Norah said. “I'll stay at the hospital the rest of the night. Someone should be here.”

“I'm staying,” Paul Johnson said, “so you don't need to.”

“I'd prefer to stay until we know his condition. But I haven't eaten anything since morning, so I want to go and have dinner.”

“I'll go with you. Doug, why don't you and Sheila stay here until we've eaten?” Paul said. “After we've had supper, I'll leave Mary at the motel, and she can make reservations for all of you.”

After they returned to the hospital, Paul and Norah settled down for a long night of waiting. The doctor came in again, and said that they should know by morning if Mason's head injury was merely a concussion or something more serious. No one else was in the waiting room, and Paul reminisced about his and Mason's younger days.