Somewhere Between Water and Sky (Shattered Things #2) (25 page)

Kevin notices.

“
Steph
…”

I hold up my hand.

“
I
’
m fine.
”
I shoot him a glance letting him know that even though his presence is accepted, it doesn
’
t mean anything
’
s changed. Not yet. He lowers his head and nods.

I push through Ren and Jessa, and Kevin steps away from the words, giving me room. I kneel down and start running my fingers through the dirt. Standing up, I brush my hands together and look at Jessa, ignoring Kevin
’
s frown.

“
Let
’
s go, shall we?
”

She smiles and nods, walking over to where I stand, my response to my father directly in front of her. Grabbing my hand, she motions for the boys to follow and they take one last glance before we walk to the cars.

I imagine my dad is watching us somewhere, waiting until we leave to follow us. For once, I
’
m ready. I have people in my life who know me
—
all of me
—
and are still willing to stand. When he walks up to see what I wrote, he
’
ll read a different Stephanie than the one who ran out of the hospital months ago.

Come and get me,
I said.

And I mean it.

I really want him to try.

I
’
ve tasted freedom now and there
’
s nothing he can do to scare me away. This right here? It
’
s not living. Not really. And I
’
m ready to change that.

I hear the distant rumbling of his voice begin in my head and I ignore it, choosing instead to focus on the view in front of me: Jessa letting her rainbow hair loose in the wind and Ren chasing after her down the path. I smile.

Come and get me, dad. Just try. I promise you
’
re in for the fight of your life and you just might not make it out alive.

Chapter Thirteen

We hang out at Jessa
’
s place for the rest of the day. I sit on her patio, the wind whipping my hair around, and stare at the people below us on the shore. For a brief moment, I wonder what would happen if I were to decorate a poster with
Hi, Dad!
and post it on the railings.

I know he
’
s out there. I know he
’
s always only a heartbeat away.

For once, this only ignites anger and action, boiling and certain. There is no fear anymore. My kingdom for his head. On a platter. With lots of people around to watch the fall of a monster.

The only conflicted feelings I possess deal with Kevin. I frown. If only he weren
’
t so
…
sexy.
Seriously. I have a strong suspicion this whole thing would be a lot easier if, I don
’
t know
…
he had a combover or something.

Ugh.

On our way from the Poetry House, Kevin stopped and asked what I planned to do
—
said something about me being a hazard because of these mood swings he kept witnessing.

“
I
’
m just worried about you.
”
He said.

“
Mood swings? You
’
re witnessing mood swings?
”
I said.

“
Well, yeah Steph. You go from okay to livid in like, .3 seconds. It
’
s scary.
”

I
’
m not sure where I got the gumption, but I stepped within millimeters of where he stood, breathing in his scent and fighting the memories threatening to overtake me. Leaning close, just close enough to where he fought his own study of my lips, I looked him the eye and whispered.

“
You want a mood swing? Keep following me. You
’
ll get to see what it
’
s like on the other side of my hatred.
”

He had blinked then, and stepped back from me before turning around and asking Ren for a ride back to his car.

Then, I only felt a fraction of guilt.

Now, I
’
m shaking with questions of whether he
’
s right.

Maybe I am going off the deep end.

Jessa appears at the sliding door of her porch in gold pants and a black hi-low shirt with a see through back. I glance down at the capri leggings I threw on for work that morning and twist my lips.

“
Hey. You want to borrow some of my clothes?
”

I squint and put my hand above my eyes to look back at her.
“
Um. Sure?
”

Her face breaks into a glow.

Apparently she wanted me to answer yes.

“
Come on. I already picked a few possibilities out
…”

I laugh under my breath.
“
Why am I not surprised?
”

She answers with a flip of her hair and we walk down the hallway into her room. She points at an empty one on her left.

“
By the way. That
’
s your room when you finally move in.
”

I peek in and try to hide my surprise.

“
It
’
s
…
huge. Wait. Is that a
patio?
Off the
room?
”
I look at her in confusion.

“
I still haven
’
t even said yes
—
are you sure you just don
’
t want to find someone who I don
’
t know
…
is more stable?
”

Jessa winks and says nothing before walking into her room. I follow her and sit on her bed as she shuffles through some clothes on a nearby chair. She pulls up a flowered skirt with a look of satisfaction.

“
There! Found it. What do you think?
”

I take a look at the pattern: bright pink background with colored flowers. And it looks about three inches shorter than anything I
’
ve ever worn before. I reach for the bottom of the skirt and try to find words.

“
That
’
s
…
pink.
”

She rolls her eyes.
“
It
’
s pink
and different shades.
”
She points to my leggings and black shirt.
“
You know. Color.
”

I look down.

“
I like color. Just not
…
always.
”

She stares.
“
That didn
’
t even make sense, Steph.
”

I shrug and she drops the skirt against her bed. Looking back at me, she scrunches up her eyes.

“
You sure you don
’
t like it? It has pockets.
”

I perk up.
“
The skirt? It has pockets?
”

Her eyes brighten.
“
Yep. And you could wear these wedges. And this shirt.
”
She leaves and comes back with a t-shirt that has screen-printed words in grey font across the chest.

FAMOUS CAUSE WE PROGRAM WORLD WIDE

“
Aren
’
t those
…
Tupac lyrics?
”

She laughs and holds the shirt out for me to grab.
“
Yeah. It
’
s awesome isn
’
t it? I found it online.
”

I finger the lettering and am surprised at how well it goes with the skirt.

“…
I kinda love it.
”

I grab the shirt and skirt, and throw a dubious glance toward the wedges. I point down at my well-worn red chucks.

“
Actually, I think I want to wear these. They go with that bright red rose that will be plastered on my thigh.
”

Jessa cocks her head and then nods.

“
I approve.
”
She raises an eyebrow.
“
But next time, we
’
re getting you in a crop top.
”

I shake my head vehemently.
“
No. No crop top. No unnecessary skin.
”

“
But those
abs
tho!
”

I blink and walk away and she just calls after me.

“
You
’
ll think differently when it gets above 80 in the summer!
”

“
That
’
s not hot!
”
I respond and she just grunts.

“
You don
’
t know California heat, love. Just wait. You
’
ll be walking around in a bikini in no time.
”

I show her my middle finger, nestled above my head, and she giggles.

“
I love you too, Stephanie. Now go change. We
’
re gonna be late.
”

.::.

As soon as we walk into Ren
’
s house we
’
re bombarded with noise and laughter.

“
Nah man. Claire is the best companion. You know this. Not only is she well-spoken but she
knows things.
You know? And like, she can totally hang with the Doctor.
”

Whooping and hollering and a
“
no way! No way. It
’
s Rose. Rose beats every other companion out of
principle
”
are thrown out into the atmosphere before we walk into the room with a bunch of guys sitting at a table.

I widen my eyes at Jessa.

“
Nerd talk?
”
I mouth.

She nods and purses her lips in confirmation. Her eyes scour the table covered in Pokemon cards and what looks like an abandoned game of Settlers of Catan. She wrinkles her nose.

“
Nerd talk. It
’
s about time we got here. Things could have gotten scary.
”

She breaks into a smile and grabs my hand, lifting our arms above our heads and forcing us to walk further into the room.

Oh god oh god center of attention don
’
t look at me I may puke.

I mean, those are my general thoughts. I can
’
t be quite sure because
everyone and their fucking mother
is staring at me. I put on my brave face and struggle with lifting my lips into what looks more like a grimace than a smile. I throw a withering glance toward Jessa and then wiggle my arm free before crossing them in front of my chest.

Social interaction: check.

Friendly acceptance: Baby steps.

Jessa doesn
’
t miss a beat.

“
Gentlemen! The party has arrived. Let
’
s um
…
clear the table, shall we? Unless of course there
’
s vodka and juice somewhere. Then you can get me to join you. I may even contribute to this um
…
riveting conversation you guys were just ending.
”

I lean over and finger the bottom of my skirt and whisper in Jessa
’
s ear.
“
They
’
re still staring.
”