Sometimes Moments (33 page)

“Meet you back here in thirty?” Callum asked, reaching for his discarded underwear and pants.

Peyton’s eyes lingered below his waist. If she didn’t have to work, she’d jump him right then and there. Instead, she nodded and said, “Thirty.”

His arm brought her closer to him, and Peyton rested her head on Callum’s shoulder. Peeking up at him through her lashes, she saw him staring out at the lake. The sadness that swept his face had replaced the carefree one he’d had while they had been in bed. Something was always hanging over him. That same something had him guarded.

With a deep breath, she turned her gaze back out at the water. She would always love Daylesford. All her favourite memories had happened in various parts of town, especially the ones that were made within the walls of The Spencer-Dayle. Peyton looked over at the hotel. It was beautiful. She would do everything in her power to keep it standing.

“Graham messaged me this morning, Peyton. He said that Jay’s pub terminated their relationship with the hotel. He’s worried that Jay could affect the rest of the town.”

The blame could be heard in his voice, but all she did was nod against him.

“I still have Graham’s farm,” she said.

Callum was silent for a moment before he sighed. “You lost the pub’s business relationship because of me, didn’t you?”

Peyton sat up, lifted her legs from over the edge of the pier, and turned her body to face him. “It’s not your fault, Callum,” she tried to assure him.

His eyes gave her the attention she wanted. Reaching over, she took his hand in hers and pulled him to face her.

“It is
not
your fault,” she repeated.

His posture slouched. “No, it is. You would have never seen that notice of termination if I had just stayed away. God, Pey, I never wanted this to happen to you or the hotel.”

She smiled when he said Pey. Callum was becoming more comfortable around her. Squeezing his hand once, she grinned before she threaded her fingers with his, loving the feel of his touch. Peyton brought their joined hands to her lips and kissed the spot where their hands connected.

“The hotel will be okay,” she said.

“And what about you?”

“I’ll be fine.”

“And us?”

She stilled at his question. Then she turned his wrist over and stared at where he had marked his skin with her name. Sometime after he’d left, he’d cared enough to tattoo her name on him. It gave her hope, but when she met his eyes, she saw the goodbye in them.

“I’m not sure, Callum,” she answered truthfully.

“You can’t be unsure,” he said softly.

She gave him a tight smile. She didn’t know if they’d be okay when they got to goodbye. Deep down, she had been delusional and believed it would never catch them.

“Sure I can. Just like how grey isn’t sure what colour it should be. If it should be black or white. So, it decides to be unsure. It decides to be grey.
I
am grey.
We
are grey.”

She believed they weren’t sure how to get to goodbye. The moment they did, the future would blend with the past and the present. They had less than two weeks left.

Callum’s mouth pressed into a fine line. “That’s a beautiful way to mask our ending, Peyton Spencer.”

Letting go of his hand, she turned and let her legs dangle over the edge of the pier. She looked out at the lake, enjoying the purity in the image. “It gives me enough denial to make it to the ending, Callum Reid. I tell myself that we’ll be okay and part ways with a mutual understanding, but honestly, I’m not sure. There are no bright lights waiting for us at the end.”

Softly swinging her legs above the water, she kept her eyes on her lap. The sound of a camera shutter had her turning her head and Callum held the Polaroid in his hand.

“There are always bright lights waiting for you, Peyton. I know it.”

She looked at the photo as it started to develop. Seconds later, she saw that it was an image of the hotel. Callum handed it to her and she clutched it, knowing that, no matter what happened, she would always have The Spencer-Dayle and all the memories that had been created in it and around it.

“This is the brightest light that’s waiting for you. You don’t need any of them. You’re a survivor and you will be something great.”

Her heart throbbed at his belief. Peyton turned and saw the way that he looked at her.
Love.
It was love that filled his eyes. A love so beautiful and unattainable. A love she couldn’t keep.

“Want to go lie in the boats until I have to start work with Jenny?” she suggested once she stood up.

Callum chuckled and picked up the camera and the pictures they had taken on their way to the pier. “Like old times?”

She nodded her head. “Like old times.”

It didn’t take them long to walk off the pier and around the lake to the boathouse. Once they stepped onto the wooden boardwalk that wrapped around the building, they made their way to the posts. Then Callum got into the wooden boat first and held his hand out to her before he helped her in

They didn’t untie it from the post. Instead, they lay down and stared at the blue, cloudless sky above. It’s what they’d always done. They’d watch clouds and time pass them before she’d have to go home for dinner or get back to the hotel.

It was a bittersweet moment, lost in the past and the present. Both so similar, but this time, she was aware of the end. Last time she had been oblivious to it. Ignoring their impending end, Peyton took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

You were right, Mum and Dad. Forgive and forget. It’s time I let the past go, and soon—Callum too.

When the boat rocked slightly, she opened her eyes to see that Callum had moved closer to her. Feeling his gaze on her, Peyton tilted her head and was met with his saddened eyes. The smile she had developing stalled and instead her lips made a fine line.

Callum inhaled deeply before he blinked. Slowly, his hands reached up and brushed her cheek then it returned to the wood of the boat. The moment his touch left her, she had already missed the way it affected her heart.

His lips parted before he asked, “Do you know what a sometimes moment is, Peyton?”

We did it. We’re coming up to the ending.

Peyton swallowed the lump in her throat. She’d heard him whisper it as she’d fallen asleep the first time he slept in her bed. She was scared to hear him define what she was basing their time on. She was scared to hear him admit that it wasn’t forever. But the truth was that she had always known.

“It’s us,” she replied in a soft voice, knowing that he could hear the sadness lacing it.

Callum gave her a tight smile. “In a way, we are sometimes moments. What we have right now embodies it. Sometimes moments are the moments you’ll look back on later in life and smile. They were points in time that were occasional and brief. They are a reflection of a memory. They are moments that are looked upon fondly. They are what we live and breathe and know as now but look back on someday. They are not forever, Peyton. They are reflections. They are the times you think of when you’re married and have children. You’ll think of me and smile because we had something in that tiny period of time we had together. That, when you have your forever, you will look back at the moments we shared. Even if it’s rarely, they were ours. They were our sometimes moments.”

Sometimes doesn’t mean forever.

“And is this a sometimes moment, Callum?” she asked.

Callum nodded. “Every moment we’ve experienced since I returned to Daylesford has been a sometimes moment, Peyton. Memories that I hope you’ll look back on one day.”

She thought of the times they’d shared the past few weeks. Every kiss, every touch, every breath of air and ‘I love you.’ They were more than she could have believed she’d share with anyone. She hadn’t imagined being close to anyone after him. Peyton had believed that she’d live a lonely life, wondering what life’s pleasures were about. But he’d come back and restored her faith in a better, happier life—even with the pain.

Callum’s thumb brushed her tear away and he kissed her lips. “Thank you for our sometimes moments, Peyton. I will hold on to them for far longer than my last breath.” Then he pulled her into his arms.

She lay her head on his chest and looked up at the sky. The moments they had shared, although brief, were treasured. They were moments where she believed that he was hers and that she was loved.

She breathed him in and memorised the beats of his heart. She took in her surroundings and the man who held her. Then she closed her eyes and let every sound and movement Callum made sear themselves into her heart.

Life is a cluster of sometimes moments, more beautiful when more are grouped together. Our sometimes moments will be my forever moments. There is no one else after Callum Reid, the boy who kissed me under a cherry blossom tree and the man who gave me a forever in a sometimes.

“Y
ou finally made it,” Callum said once Peyton had walked up the small hill.

She stood next to him and said, “I had to wait for my parents to leave, and Jenny’s covering for me.”

Callum wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. “I’m glad you’re here. I wanted you to be here when it happens.”

Peyton squinted up at him. “When what happens?” she asked, slightly suspicious.

He rolled his eyes before untangling himself from her. Then he picked up his SLR camera and adjusted the lens. “Look out at the lake, Pey.”

When she looked in the direction that he’d suggested, the view took her breath away. It was beautiful. The setting sun filled the sky with purples and reds, and the water sparkled before her eyes. She had never seen the lake look more beautiful than in this moment.

The sounds of the camera shutter had her turning her head. She watched the awed expression on Callum’s face transform as he looked at the photo on the screen. He saw the beauty. He saw the innocence of nature. And Peyton saw that in him. Her heart throbbed at the sight of him taking in the view. The way he appreciated life had her envious of his perspective on the world, and a slow smile developed on his face.

When he turned and his eyes met hers, the sparkle in them made her breathless. And it was in that moment that she knew what she had always known deep down.

I’m in love with Callum Reid.

“Pey, wake up.”

A nudge had Peyton groaning.