Sometimes Moments (27 page)

“I’ll go after him. I’ll speak to you later, Peyton,” Madilynne said before she left Peyton and Callum alone.

Alone with Callum was not what she wanted. Because all she wanted to do was kiss him, feel him, feel pleasure because of him, and forget the impending pain.

She looked up at the terrified expression on his face. No words were shared, only glances. She should listen to Graham. She should also listen to the voice in her head that was telling her to run and never look back. But instead, her heart instructed her to stay.

“You’re going to hurt me, aren’t you?” she asked in a small voice, needing his confirmation.

Callum’s jaw clenched before he said, “Yes.”

Peyton nodded, allowing her entire body to feel the ache in her chest. “What did you say to Graham?”

He didn’t blink as he said, “The truth.”

Peyton pressed her lips together as she tried to fight back the tears. The nearing end terrified her. They were close to reaching it.

“And what is the truth?” she asked as she took a step forward and grabbed his jumper in her hands.

He remained silent.

“Please tell me,” she pleaded, making sure his eyes never lost focus on hers.

Callum shook his head.

“Please,” she begged one more time.

“Peyton,” he warned. His hands were over hers, trying to pull away from her.

His refusal was one her heart appreciated. The moment she knew the truth meant the end of them. And as hard as she fought against him, she wanted Callum to stay, which meant the truth couldn’t come to light just yet.

“Callum.” She gripped his shirt tighter.

His nostrils flared as he held her harder. “I’m calling it, Peyton.”

Her heart stopped. The staples that held it together were slowly and painfully being removed one at a time.

“Please don’t,” she begged softly.

“Super—”

She pulled on his shirt to find his lips. Crashing and burning—her heart did both. He tried to pull back, but she kissed him harder, begging him to keep his mouth on hers. This was what she had missed. The attraction, the want, and the need he resisted between them. His lips moved against hers, prolonging the inevitable. Prolonging the safe word being said out loud. Prolonging their goodbye. Prolonging the death of her heart.

Painfully perfect.

It was the only way she could describe it. She was at fault for this, at fault for a lot of things. But right now, this was right. It was always right when she was with him. They fit. They made sense. At least she believed so.

His hands held her shoulders, steadying the pace, and her knees went weak. The breathless whisper of her name had her holding on to his shirt. Every kiss of hers was answered with his own desperate and willing ones.

She would rather spend the rest of time with his mouth on hers, but as all things do, his lips slowed down and their kiss ended. He lingered his lips over hers before he pulled her back at an arm’s length.

They searched each other’s eyes. She waited, hoped, and even prayed that he’d keep the safe word to himself. She had already made a choice. Unknowingly, she had chosen Callum over the two men who had been by her side as the seasons changed.

“Peyton, I’m giving you an out, the turn off the highway. Listen to Graham and take it. Walk away,” he said sadly.

She stared at her hands and slowly let go of his shirt. Then she looked up at him and shook her head. “I can’t. I’ve tried, Callum. My heart wants to forgive you. I don’t think I’ll be truly free until it does,” she confessed.

“That’s what you want?” Callum asked.

Peyton nodded. “Give me closure. Give me right now. Make me believe you. That’s it. That’s all I want.”

Lie. I want more.

But I can’t have more. Truth.

Relief filled his eyes as he gave her a slight smile and a nod. “I wish I could offer you more, Peyton.”

“But you can’t. So, why try? Let’s just make the wedding something amazing. Then
mutually
part ways this time.”

“Okay,” Callum said and dropped his hands from her. “Want me to walk you home?”

She gave him a bittersweet smile. He used to ask her that same question after every shift she finished at the hotel.

Peyton nodded, not trusting her voice. Then she turned around and made her way back to the lake. He didn’t grab her hand like he used to. Instead, he walked in sync with her. When she turned her head and looked at him, his lips were pressed hard together as he concentrated on what was ahead of him. The old him was in there somewhere. The moment he caught her staring, she decided that she would try to find him again.

Get ready, heart. We won’t survive this time.

“Peyton,” he whispered in her ear.

With her eyes still closed, she smiled. “Yes,” she breathed.

He placed a kiss on her neck, and she leant back on his chest, letting his arms circle around her waist.

“Look up at the cherry blossoms.”

Opening her eyes, she peeked up to see the light shining through. Beautiful and glorious. It reflected off the pink flowers, making them almost clear.

Her smile grew larger as she softly said, “Beautiful.”

“I know,” Callum said.

Peyton turned her head to see him staring at her.

“But they’re nothing compared to you. Nothing will ever be as beautiful as you.”

She twisted her body so that she was on her side then cuddled up next to him. The ridiculous smile on her face didn’t go away and she kissed his jaw. It never felt real when he complimented her. It was new. But she was in love with the way he saw her and spoke of her. Since being released from hospital, she had spent her days in bed recovering. Today was an exception. The moment Callum had shown up at her window, she’d handed him a blanket and had him help her out of her room. Then he laid out the blanket and they sat under their tree.

“This is my favourite spot in the world,” he said, holding her tighter.

Peyton glanced up at the flowers one more time before she said, “I told you it was just a kiss.”

“It wasn’t. I knew it even before you asked. I’ve known it would be more with you the moment I held your hand when we were thirteen. It took four years, but I’m finally yours. I love this tree. Each time I think of it, I think of what it felt like kissing you for the first time.”

He didn’t let her reply to him. He made her speechless. It also didn’t help that he pressed his lips on hers, kissing her the way he had claimed her heart.

Falling in love with Callum was as simple as falling in love with breathing:

One of the most unknowing, willing, natural and completely necessary tasks one does.

Peyton stopped at her door and stared at the stained-glass panels. She wasn’t sure if she should invite Callum in or not. She wanted time with him to discover if the old him was still inside. Just wrapped in him somewhere. One last time before fate caught up with them.

“I’ll let you go, Peyton. I have to finish up work on the designs,” Callum said behind her.

She felt both disappointed and relieved. Pulling out her house keys, she turned around and then smiled at him. In this moment, he didn’t seem so guarded. Instead, he looked comfortable. It filled her with hope. There was a chance that he would open up to her. In time.

“Do you mind stopping by the hotel tomorrow? We can go over it before the tradies come back on Monday.”

He nodded. “Sounds good to me. I’ll see you tomorrow. Goodnight, Peyton.”

“Goodnight, Callum,” she said, turning back to her front door. Then she placed the key into the lock as she heard his footsteps trail down the stairs. With a small sigh, she twisted the key and opened the door.

She wanted to turn around and watch him walk across the road. She wanted to know if he looked over his shoulder just before he walked into his house. But she didn’t. She wanted her heart to miss him more, to make all the pain somehow worth it in the end.

Peyton stepped into the quiet house and dropped her bag on the wooden floor, not caring to put it away. The only work she had to concentrate on was the plan for the cabins. Renovating them would be costly, but replacing the windows with floor-to-ceiling size ones would be a great selling point for guests. It would be like the lake and forest were an extension of the cabins.

She closed the door behind her and went into the kitchen. Since her aunt and uncle had moved to enjoy their retirement on the peninsula, the house had become dark and quiet. Peyton used to welcome the loneliness, but now, she hated it. When she had been with Callum on Sunday night, she hadn’t been quite alone. She had been wrapped in him as they’d opened themselves to sharing the loneliness they were in. She’d felt connected and wanted.

It probably hadn’t been the best idea to kiss him in the middle of the town’s main road. Anyone could have seen. No doubt the town gossipers had. She didn’t care about their opinions, though. She loved this town and the people, but this was between Callum and her.

She couldn’t ignore the way that he had kissed her and held her. The way he’d begged her. The way he’d sighed her name. It was utterly unforgettable. She wanted more. But he wouldn’t let her. The truth was stopping him. And the truth was something Peyton wanted and didn’t want. The truth, she was sure, would break her to the point where breathing wasn’t enough.

The vibrating of her phone in her pocket had Peyton pulling it out. When she swiped the screen and checked her messages, she had found a new one from Madilynne in her inbox.

Madilynne
: I’m sorry that I left you with him. We’ll talk about him being back tomorrow. You should have told me, Peyton. I’m not mad. I understand. Graham isn’t mad, either. He wants to talk to you. Come over, but he says you can’t ask him about Callum. He says that it’s Callum’s choice to tell you and that Graham can’t take that away from you and him. I’ll see you soon.

Peyton
: Okay. I’m on my way.

She needed to see Graham. She needed some assurance from him. That the choice she was making was one that would be worth something in the end. It didn’t have to mean forever. It just had to mean something.

Peyton took out the keys from her pocket and walked out of the house. Graham wanted to see her. Even though he’d broken the tradition and trust they had, she couldn’t turn her back on him.

After closing the door behind her, Peyton ran down the stairs and to the driveway. Then she unlocked her Volkswagen Golf. The moment the lights flashed and the car made a sound, she opened the driver’s side door and got in.

Peyton reached for the seatbelt and clicked it in place, desperate to speak to her best friends. She put a hand on the steering wheel as she inserted the key into the ignition. The second it clicked, she froze. She didn’t turn the key all the way. Instead, the click brought flashes of the pictures she had seen in the newspapers the day after her parents had died.

Images of the mangled car brought tears running down her face, and then images of flowers placed by the side of the road brought the sobs. It was the first time she’d sat in the driver’s seat since the accident. Her aunt drove her if she needed to be anywhere that wasn’t within walking distance. Her heart twisted as she remembered the picture of her mother and father’s happy faces on the front of the paper. They had been taken from her. That was the day her father hadn’t fulfilled his promise.