Something Like Spring (17 page)

When they returned to the car, Caesar’s phone was buzzing on the driver seat. Jason waited patiently as Caesar sat there and responded to text message after text message.

“Steph?” he asked after ten minutes of this.

“I’m almost done,” Caesar said. Five minutes later, he glanced up and seemed surprised to see Jason sitting there. “Sorry. Wanna grab a bite to eat?”

“Only if you leave the phone in the car,” Jason said.

Once seated at a Mexican restaurant, he was disappointed to see the phone had come inside with them. At least Caesar had the decency to shut it off after a few more buzzes.

“What’s her deal?” Jason asked. “She seems so together when I talk to her.”

“Steph?” Caesar asked. “She has it together. Believe me. Sometimes people get a little needy, that’s all. You understand that, right?”

“Yeah,” Jason said grudgingly. “But I hope she finds a new boyfriend soon. I don’t like competing with a phone.”

Caesar chuckled. “She won’t stay single for long, don’t worry.”

“Speaking of which, what about her and Kurt?”

“Kurt?” Caesar shook his head. “They don’t have anything in common.”

“Nothing?” Jason pressed.

“Not really.”

“They say opposites attract.”

Caesar didn’t look convinced. “Steph is elegant. She never loses her temper, always chooses her words carefully. Kurt is… rough. They both have messed-up parents, but besides that—”

“Messed up how? I already know about Steph’s dad.”

“Kurt’s mom is a pill junkie. She’s either wacked out on something or mean because she’s trying to get clean. It’s always one or the other. Kurt’s really good at coping though, and a lot of the advice I give Steph about her dad comes from him.”

Jason leapt on this. “Then that’s what they have in common! Kurt can comfort her—”

“I can’t imagine Kurt comforting anyone.”

“—and Steph will round out his edges a little. All we have to do is get them started.”

Caesar shook his head and laughed. “You really want her paired up, don’t you?”

Jason didn’t share his amusement. “When we got back to the car, how many text messages or whatever were waiting for you?”

“Does it really matter?”

“Just humor me. How many?”

Caesar broke eye contact and frowned. “I don’t know. Fifteen. Twenty.”

“That would be normal if you were writing back after each one. Instead she just keeps hitting you with a barrage of them until you do respond.”

“She gets lonely.”

“She needs help.”

“She’s fine.” Caesar looked back to him. “You could get yourself a cell phone, start competing.”

“Maybe I should,” Jason said. “I could text you even when we’re together. Might be the only way to get your attention.”

Caesar raised an eyebrow. “I’ll talk to her, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Happy?”

“Yeah.”

He wasn’t though. As the waitress brought their food, he once again found himself torn between the likable Steph he talked to in person and the intolerable texting maniac who kept interrupting his time with Caesar. Jason had considered gently mentioning the issue to her, but he hadn’t seen much of her the previous week. She hadn’t shown up at Caesar’s wrestling meets like she used to. At the time, he had taken that as a good sign, but now he wasn’t so sure.

“Don’t say anything to her,” Jason said. “Let’s just try to get her and Kurt together. See if that helps.”

“Fine.”

Caesar worked on assembling a fajita while Jason examined the special he’d allowed the waitress to talk him into. As far as he could tell, his meal consisted of cheese-stuffed peppers. Conversation was stilted for most of the meal, Jason wishing he hadn’t brought it up. When the table was cleared, he ordered dessert just to buy time. He didn’t want them going home and ending the day like this. Luckily, he found inspiration when a group of older women were seated at the table across from theirs. He felt a little guilty because something Steph had mentioned was about to bail him out, but whatever.

“Makes me miss my grandma,” Jason said. “How about you? Are your grandparents still alive?”

Caesar nodded. “Most of them. My dad’s parents are both still kicking. My grandpa on my mom’s side passed away when I was little. I don’t remember much about him.”

So far, not at all interesting. “I guess I’ll meet everyone eventually,” Jason tried. “I hope so. I usually like grandmas.”

Caesar smiled, which came as a welcome relief. “Just wait until you meet Grandma Annabelle. She’s the sweetest. And a total scatterbrain, always forgetting stuff. I don’t care though. To me, she’s my perfect little angel.”

“Awwww,” Jason said sarcastically, but he mirrored Caesar’s smile.

“Yeah, it’s cheesy, I know. She’s my favorite. All my good grandparent memories are with her.” Despite his words, the happiness faded from Caesar’s features.

“You said she’s still alive, right?”

“Yeah. I was just thinking of the one bad memory, although it’s sort of a good one too.” Caesar laughed at his own contradiction. “I was around eight years old and staying the weekend with her. My grandpa was out visiting a friend, so it was just her and me. We were playing in the backyard on a summer day, running through the sprinkler together or trying to make a water slide out of trash bags lined up on the grass. Grandma Annabelle is like a big kid. Even when the other adults were around, she was always happy to play with me. So anyway, we were having fun, but then my grandma couldn’t catch her breath. She went to sit down, and I figured she was just old and tired. I kept playing, but eventually she called me over and said we needed to drive to the hospital. When she tried to get up, she couldn’t find the strength.”

“Heart attack?” Jason guessed.

“Yeah. She told me to run inside and fetch the phone, which I did. Then she called 9-1-1. That’s when I understood how serious it was. My grandma kept telling me everything was fine, but then she closed her eyes and stopped talking. No matter how loud I shouted, she wouldn’t respond, even when I tried shaking her. I panicked, running around her and freaking out because I didn’t know what to do. Then I heard the sirens and ran to the front door. I could barely speak, so the paramedic picked me up in his arms. All he said was ‘Show me.’”

“Why are you grinning like that?” Jason asked.

“Because he was the most beautiful man in the world. Blond hair, bronze skin, unbelievable muscles… I didn’t notice all this at first, of course, but while watching him give my grandma CPR and bringing her back, well, he seemed like a god to me. This guy had the power to give life, and even though the situation was terrifying, I was blown away when he did it. He brought her back. He saved Grandma Annabelle’s life. I remember him turning to me, eyes crinkling in the afternoon sun as he smiled. Then he gave me a thumbs up. I was in awe. I rode with him in the back of the ambulance, and I swear I couldn’t keep my jaw shut. He was that amazing, and definitely my first crush. When I was older and started fantasizing about him, I realized that I’m bi. But because of him, I also didn’t have a problem with it. Wanting a guy like that simply made sense, you know? Who wouldn’t?”

“He does sound hot,” Jason admitted.

“Yeah, but it was more than that. He meant something. The guy was my idol. My inspiration.”

“Inspiration?” Jason asked.

Caesar shook his head quickly, as if he’d misspoken, but Jason didn’t think he had.

“Wait, are you saying you want to be a paramedic?”

Caesar looked embarrassed. “Yeah, I used to. The idea sounds crazy now, but I wanted to be that guy. I wanted to be this miracle worker who showed up on the scene and made everything okay. The idea of being a doctor didn’t appeal because I was convinced she would have died if that paramedic hadn’t been there. So yeah, I used to dream about being a hero. Sounds arrogant, doesn’t it?”

Jason scoffed. “That you want to help people and feel good about it? That’s not arrogant. You should do it!”

The twinkle in Caesar’s eye faded. “Not going to happen.”

“Why?”

“You know why.”

So that was Caesar’s dream, the one he had given up for his parents’ approval. This is what Steph had hinted at, what she hoped Jason could help change. He felt another pang of guilt. She wanted the best for Caesar, and Jason was focusing instead on her texting, making a big deal out of nothing.

The waitress set down a huge portion of fried ice cream, served in a tortilla shell bowl and slathered in whipped cream and honey. Jason’s mouth watered, even though he imagined his already-full stomach recoiling in fear.

“Are you actually going to eat all that?” Caesar asked.

“Yeah,” Jason replied. “And afterwards—and I don’t mean this in a sexy way—there’s a pretty good chance you’ll get to practice your CPR.”

Caesar grinned. “In that case, I’m looking forward to being your hero.”

“You might want to keep it down.”

“Narrrgh!” Jason shouted in reply, almost losing the towel around his waist. His eyes remained wide when he saw who had decided to get chatty outside the bathroom. Carrie. He struggled to remember if she’d ever spoken directly to him before. The eldest Hubbard girl spent most of her time in her bedroom listening to music. When she did leave her room, songs always blared through the earbuds she constantly wore. Even now she had one ear plugged, voices singing from the tiny speaker dangling loose near her chest.

“Did you hear me?” she asked.

“Sorry, what?”

“At night. You and Caesar should be quieter.”

Jason froze. Deny, lie, or walk away? The truth wasn’t an option, that was for sure.

Carrie sighed impatiently. “Look, I’m trying to help. I don’t have a problem with what’s going on, but others would.” She glanced meaningfully toward Peter’s bedroom. “If I can hear you…” Then she plugged the loose ear bud back in and walked away. Jason watched her disappear down the stairs and felt a shiver run down his spine.

He remained tense during church, and like so many others there, his thoughts returned over and over to the sins he had committed. Occasionally he would look over at Carrie, but she no longer seemed interested in him. Peter was behaving normally too. That meant her warning—if it truly was that innocent—had arrived in time. Jason spent the whole day around the family, trying even harder than usual, if only to make sure that everything was okay. He was just a normal guy, part of the team, a happy would-be Hubbard. He definitely wasn’t sneaking down the hall every night to do unspeakable things. No, sir. No, ma’am. Of course, when everyone had gone to bed, that was exactly what he did.

“Carrie’s cool,” Caesar said dismissively. “You don’t need to worry about her.”

Jason winced at the volume of his voice, which was still loud despite the hour being so late. Jason had crept into his room to warn him, but Caesar didn’t seem concerned. In fact, he was tugging at the leg of Jason’s pajama bottoms, trying to get them off.

“Stop!” Jason whispered, pulling away. “This is serious. I know she doesn’t care, but she said Peter—”

Caesar glared. “What’s he going to do? I’ll kick his ass!”

“Which would only make him tell on us sooner.”

Caesar considered this and nodded grudgingly. “Fine,” he said. Then he tried again in a slightly quieter voice. “
Fine.
But I’m not going mute. You know I’m a talker.”

Jason fought back a smile. “I noticed that, but I really don’t need you telling me what to do anymore. I’ve gotten the hang of this.”

Caesar pretended not to hear him. “Get over here and lay on your stomach.”

“Are you serious?”

When Caesar didn’t reply, Jason did what he was told.

“Very good. No, no, keep your hands at your sides.”

Head on the pillow, Jason rolled his eyes as his pajama bottoms were pulled off and his legs were spread slightly. Caesar put a hand beneath each thigh and told him to raise his rump. Jason did so, and was about to remind the room that he wasn’t a bottom, when he noticed where Caesar’s mouth was heading.

A second later, he started moaning… but he tried to do so quietly.

* * * * *

Amy considered her options. Then, wistfully, she said, “I’ve always wanted to buy a black boy.”

Jason, feeling a surge of panic, glanced around the toy store to see if anyone had heard, or worse, reacted. Luckily they were alone in the aisle. Except for Caesar, who appeared bored. Jason turned back to Amy, ready to give her a lecture on being more sensitive, when he noticed the way she longingly sighed at the dark-skinned doll on the shelf.

“Why don’t you get it?” he asked.

“Because Mom never lets me.”

This gave Jason pause. Amy already owned tons of Barbies, including both girl and boy dolls. All of them were white. He was hard pressed to think of an innocent reason why Amy wouldn’t be allowed to have a black doll. He glanced over at Caesar for an explanation, but his boyfriend had zoned out completely.

“If that’s what you want,” Jason said, “that’s what we’ll get.”

Amy opened her mouth to protest. “But Mom—”

“She’s not buying you a present today. I am.” Of course he was using the cash Mrs. Hubbard had given him for not getting his chore reward last week. Apparently going to the shooting range didn’t count. Jason was happy for the money, but as usual, he couldn’t find anything he wanted for himself. Instead he decided to treat Amy to something special. As much as Jason had to force himself to be around the other Hubbards, he genuinely liked her. Besides, he’d rather play dolls than one of Peter’s computer games.

Amy tugged on Caesar’s sleeve. “What do you think?”

“I don’t care,” he said. “Just hurry up and pick something out.”

“This can’t be rushed,” Jason said, taking the doll to examine it. The dark-skinned version of Ken only included a pair of swim trunks and sandals. “The poor guy is nearly naked. He’ll need an outfit. Maybe two.”

“Are you kidding me?” Caesar didn’t hide his exasperation, shaking his head when he saw Jason was serious. “You guys are weird.”

“Oh, go find yourself something. I bet they make a little toy version of your car.”