Something Fierce [The Underground 1] (Siren Publishing Classic) (14 page)

“I don’t mean to shut you out. I’ve just been in my own little world.”
Moping around and feeling sorry for myself because the one guy that I actually have deep feelings for used me like a piece of meat.
Like she could really confess that. “I’m sorry. I really am.”

Kylie sighed. “Yeah, okay, but I want to talk to you. I haven’t seen you since the club and you were acting funky then, too. Can we get together this afternoon or maybe tomorrow?”

Tristan closed her eyes. Once she was face-to-face with Kylie she wouldn’t be able to
not
tell her everything. It wasn’t like she didn’t want to confide in her friend, but Kylie tended to act like a mother figure more times than not. Tristan didn’t want that disapproving look Kylie was sure to give her because Tristan once again fucked her roommate. Of course, in her defense, this was only the second time, and her feelings were far different than they had been with Zac.

“I work today, but we can get together tomorrow evening if you want.” Tristan hung up the phone once their plans were made and went back to staring out the window. Kash’s truck sat in the driveway, yet another reminder that he was so close yet so far away.

* * * *

Tristan pulled into the driveway and turned off the car. The talk with Kylie had been uneventful, although she got a slight ass reaming from her best friend for avoiding her. She was a wimp because she kept her feelings for Kash to herself. It had been easier than she had thought. An image of her breaking down in front of Kylie, confessing her deepest feelings for her roommate played in her mind like a bad movie reel. In the end, her strength and mortification over everything that happened had her mouth sealed tight. It didn’t matter that there was the bad along with the good, that the sight of Kash fighting turned her on, on some primal level. She felt disgusted with herself, and so she didn’t have the balls to confess that to Kylie. She wasn’t stupid enough to think Kylie had bought her nonchalant attitude. Kylie knew she was holding something back, but she hadn’t pressed.

It took her a moment to realize she was parked right next to his truck. Her brow furrowed slightly at the thought of Kash being home. Normally he was gone when she came back from work and stayed out until early in the morning. Her heart thundered at the sight of the black vehicle. Maybe he was asleep already and that would eliminate the weirdness of a run-in. Every time they ran into each other he was cool and collected, the complete opposite of how she felt. Just thinking about her fumbled words, fierce blushing, and instant perspiration had her face heating.

She grabbed her purse and headed into the house. As soon as the door was open she smelled buttered popcorn. A glance in the living room showed the TV on but nothing yet on the screen, and a glance in the kitchen showed an impressive view of Kash’s back as he opened the microwave. The door shut behind her with a resounding click and Kash turned around. He smiled at her and held up the bag of popcorn he had retrieved from the microwave.

“I was wondering when you would get home. I have everything ready for our movie night.”

Movie night? Really?

She was a bit stunned, especially since they had pretty much been avoiding each other since their intimate encounter. Well, maybe avoiding each other wasn’t the right word. Kash had always seemed fine with how things ended. It was her emotions that got in the way of keeping everything on a normal level. It was her feelings for him that made it especially difficult to keep things platonic. She knew she would try though because the thought of him not being around, even if for fleeting moments, hurt her heart.

“Okay, yeah, that sounds nice.” She could do this, sit next to him and act like everything was like it had been before.

He smiled broadly and brought the popcorn and drinks into the living room. She watched him from the foyer for a moment before slipping off her shoes and heading toward the stairs. “Just give me a moment to slip into something else.” She dashed upstairs and quickly changed out of her work clothes. When she was back downstairs she saw Kash was already on the couch with the bowl of popcorn between his thighs. She walked into the living room, eyed the couch and then the recliner, and decided the recliner was probably the best option. She didn’t make it three steps before Kash cleared his throat.

“I know you’re not going to the recliner.”

When she glanced at him he had an eyebrow raised. “Well, I”—she swallowed—“yeah, I was.”

He shook his head and shoved a handful of popcorn into his mouth. Tristan watched him, wondering how one man could act two completely different ways. There was this Kash, the one that she had grown to care about, the fun-loving and carefree man, and then there was the one that exerted his power and will over her in the bedroom, the man that used force to defeat anyone in his way. Just thinking about it made her pussy contract. He patted the seat beside him and her pulse raced as she took the offered seat. The smell of him was intoxicating. Out of the corner of her eye she saw him hold up the bowl of popcorn to her. She shook her head while keeping her eyes on the TV screen. She knew her posture was rigid, but being this close to him and trying not to have it affect her was damn near impossible.

“Hey.”

She turned and looked at him. His expression was serious and she found herself swallowing the lump that formed in her throat.

“Are you okay?” He set the bowl of popcorn aside and turned his body toward her. “You seem different, reserved.”

Was he serious? Was it that easy for him to just forget about what they had done? Was
she
that easy for him to forget? Her irritation and anger over the situation grew. “I’m fine. Let’s just watch the movie.” She knew she probably was acting a little childish, but his total disregard for what had transpired, like he could just pretend it didn’t happen, irked her.

“Okay.” That one word from him sounded distant, but she refused to show any more emotion.

She picked up her drink and downed half of it before the opening credits even started. If only she had the strength to not care like he obviously did.

* * * *

Avoiding Tristan had been hard as hell, but Kash had managed to do it. He didn’t know why he sat on the couch before she came home, popcorn ready and DVD in the player. He should have stayed in his room, or better yet gone out and drowned his emotions in a bottle of whiskey. Yet here he found himself, Tristan just a few inches away from him, smelling incredible and looking so attractive that a shot of lust slammed into his cock. He could do this. He could be her friend. He might be an asshole on the best of days, but she was different. He knew he was a walking contradiction. Hell, he had played ping-pong with his emotions since he first met her, yet no matter how hard he tried to push her away for her own good, he found himself right back in the same place, wanting her something fierce.

Watching the movie was easier said than done. All he wanted to do was drag her across his lap and press his mouth against hers. He knew what she would taste like, sweet and intoxicating strawberries and vanilla. He closed his eyes and gritted his teeth. No matter how hard he tried, there were just some things that he couldn’t ignore, some things that tested his strength. Tristan broke the mold and he knew she was his weakness. Whether that was good or bad, he knew he would eventually find out.

Chapter Eighteen

They watched the movie, another horror one that was surprisingly not cheesy. She loved scary movies, but she was also a big sissy. The cheesy ones they had watched had been fine because the lack of horror in them didn’t give her nightmares. This one, however, scared the shit out of her. The wise thing to do was not watch movies that freaked her out, but she was a glutton for punishment, as was the case with Kash and her feelings for him. Tristan found herself becoming engrossed with the movie, and although she knew a particularly scary part was coming up, she wasn’t prepared. The monster attacked a young girl and the special effects were harrowing. Tristan yelped at the sight and found herself plastered to Kash’s side. When she realized what she had done, she tried to pull herself away. Heat flooded her and she refused to look at him. Kash’s arm was around her shoulder and he kept her to his side. She didn’t miss the distinct sound of laughter coming from him. Giving him her best irritated look, she huffed in annoyance.

“I’m glad almost pissing myself was amusing.” He grinned and chucked her under the chin with his finger.

“Aw, come on. You had to know that scene was coming. Didn’t the spooky music give it away?” He was teasing her, and as much as she wanted to be irritated with him, she couldn’t. She found herself smiling in return. She tried to move away again, but he wouldn’t have any of that.

“Come on, Tristan. Friends hold each other, don’t they?” He stared down at her and for an instant Tristan thought about the memory of his lips on hers.

Their mouths were so close, inches apart. They watched each other for several long moments, until finally the main character’s scream filled the air. As if that had snapped them out of whatever trance they were in, they looked away at the same time. Despite the heat that traveled through her at being so close to him, she couldn’t forget his words. The longer she let herself stay so close, emotionally and physically, the harder it would be on her. Sure, she could pretend all she wanted, which she was poorly doing now, and sure, she could live with him, but having him touch her, no, she was about to explode.

When the movie finally ended, she moved away from him. Kash didn’t stop her, but he also didn’t get up from the couch. The screen turned black, bathing the room in muted darkness before turning blue as the DVD finally ended. She glanced at him quickly and was surprised to see him watching her.

“This is too hard for you, isn’t it?”

Tristan looked down and started messing with the invisible thread on her shirt. “Everything is fine. I just have a lot on my mind.” It wasn’t exactly the whole truth, but it wasn’t a lie either. She felt his finger under her chin and then he was lifting her face up. Her eyes locked with his and her breath caught. “I’m fine, Kash, really.” Those words were a whisper from her mouth. Kash’s gaze dipped down to her lips and adrenaline rushed through her bloodstream.

“I’m not.” His words were even softer than hers had been.

Had she heard him right? Was this hard on him? He didn’t act like it affected him. “I don’t know what you want me to say.” She wasn’t going to be pulled in two different directions. He moved closer to her and sighed. His warm breath moved across her face, igniting her arousal for him. The feeling was sensual.

“I don’t want you to say anything.
I
don’t want to say anything. I just want to feel you.”

Oh.

His head lowered toward her and when his mouth was a mere inch from hers he stopped. Whether it was because he finally realized what he was doing or that she had placed her hand on his chest, she would never know. She couldn’t let this happen. It would only lead her down a harder path. She didn’t think her mind or heart could handle another rejection.

“I’m not a friend with benefits, Kash.” She tried to make her words sound fierce, but they lacked any animosity. How sad was she that she would have spread her legs for him right then? The little bit of self-preservation inside of her had peaked and stopped his advance.

He blinked a few times and then leaned back, shaking his head. “I don’t want that from you.”

A lump formed in her throat. “I just—” What in the hell could she say? She wanted him, a lot, but she didn’t want to be used, not when she felt this way for him. When she lifted her eyes to him she gasped at how close he was. He didn’t give her a moment to understand what was happening. His mouth was on hers, hard and demanding. Instantly her pussy became wet and her nipples hardened. A low moan left her lips and then she found herself straddling his waist. The heat and hardness from his erection pressed against her cunt and she didn’t stop herself from rubbing against him. Her self-preservation had flown the fuck out the window. She was weak, oh so weak, when it came to him.

He broke the kiss and cursed, “Fuck, Tristan.”

Yes, that was exactly what she had in mind. If she was a smart girl she would have stopped all of this, but at the moment she was an imbecile. Her body ached to be filled by him, and considering how hard he was, she had a feeling he was just as eager to accomplish that. They resumed kissing and she felt his hands inch under her oversized shirt. The air wasn’t cold, but she was overheated and goose bumps formed on her flesh. His roughened palms skimmed up her belly and cupped her breasts. Even through the material of her bra, she felt his touch like fire on her skin. Could he feel how hard her nipples were? With expert fingers he moved to her back, unlatched her bra, and pushed it as far as it would go down her arms. The material was hooked around her elbows and when she tugged her limbs experimentally, the resistance fueled her arousal. His hands immediately went back to cup her breasts. He kneaded the flesh before he took her nipples between his thumb and forefinger and pinched hard. A gasp left her and she pulled back, looking at him.

“Does that feel good, baby?” He dipped his head and started kissing the side of her neck. It didn’t take long for his hands to start massaging her breasts again or for her to wish he gave her that little ounce of pain. It had shocked her at first, but that pain had morphed into a warm hum under her skin.