Something Borrowed (13 page)

He was very close and, what? Leaning in?

No!

That thin mouth puckered tight, and pale blue eyes closed as he swayed towards her. Closer and closer he came. She could smell his aftershave, the same one he’d worn for the last ten years, and the memories rolled through her. She’d loved him and offered him her heart, and for a good few years, they’d been happy.

Then he’d run off with her friend. At their wedding.

Closer and closer still. The mole just above his upper lip was in perfect focus.

Yes, he was going to kiss her cheek. She could feel a collective intake of breath and the eyes of every single guest watching. Including Vaughn.

But she couldn’t make a scene, or walk away in case he made one. She had to just stand there and find a smile and allow him to do this one act of cringe-worthy, anger-inducing faux-friendliness.

Yes, her lumbering ex was going to kiss her right here in front of everyone, and she was going to have to take it, literally, on the cheek. Shame and humiliation mingled with the rush of memories of what they’d had. And what he’d taken away.

Double damn. From somewhere deeper than she ever thought possible, she found a smile and offered her cheek, freezing at the contact, wondering how she could have loved that face so much.

‘Hi, Jason, lovely to see you. You’re looking great today. Very smart.’ But heck, she wanted to stamp her feet and shout
What the hell were you thinking? How bloody could you?

But she couldn’t because she had a ridiculous need to be nice, which should have stemmed from a desire to prove to him and everyone else that she could rise above the humiliation and be civil. Or it should have come from a desire not to cause a scene and jeopardise the wedding and subsequently any knock-on business.

It didn’t.

Mortifyingly, it came from a deep-seated need to endear herself to him. Because that was who she was. She was the girl who men ran away from. The one not worth hanging around for. The one they couldn’t even look in the eye and say
I’m sorry for hurting you
.

She realised with a hard lump in her throat that she really was that girl. The one who had an entrenched need to be nice to everyone, because that way they might like her enough to stay around.

‘
C
hloooeeee
…’ It was said through a smile that was at once possessive and disarming. ‘What are you still doing here? Shouldn’t you have gone home by now?’

Oh, and passive-aggressive, another of Jason’s many stellar talents. She kept her voice steady and polite, even if he didn’t deserve it, the bride and groom did. ‘I have to stay to the end, you know that. Why? Is there a problem?’

‘Amy’s embarrassed, and she asked me to talk to you, although God knows why. I said you’d be cool with it.’ His eyes darted over to the table where Amy was sitting, watching them, looking glum. She wasn’t sure, but Chloe couldn’t detect an ounce of real compassion in Jason’s face, for either of them.

‘Cool with what, exactly?’ She lowered her voice and turned him away from the rest of the crowd, and the need to be nice to him started to wither in direct proportion to her rising anger. ‘The two-timing? The betrayal? The Jilting? Going on our honeymoon without me? Leaving me financially ruined?’

He leant in. ‘With us being here. You know… me and her, together. And you. It’s not awkward, right? She thinks it is.’

It hadn’t been, Chloe had managed to navigate through it quite successfully using stealth tactics the British Army would be proud of, but it certainly was difficult now. She cringed. ‘Me? Feeling awkward? No! Not at all. I’m fine. This is work to me, Jason, that’s all.’

‘Work, work, work. That’d be right. Because that’s all that matters to you, isn’t it?’ He was swaying again and seemed to be having trouble controlling the volume switch on his voice. Amongst the long list of other things, Chloe’s commitment to her work had irritated Jason. ‘Weddings and flowers and dresses. Blah, blah.’

‘I need to make a living like everyone else,’ she managed not to hiss, then tried to find some control for herself. God, he could be odious when he was drunk. And his profile on that website kept flashing in front of her eyes.
Searching4U.
Maybe he’d taken it down now? Maybe he’d committed to Amy 100 per cent. ‘How’s things? With you and Amy?’

‘Depends on who you ask.’ His jaw lifted, defensively. Yes, that was it—he was feeling all the awkwardness and was trying hard to be defensive and manly about it.

‘What do you mean?’

He didn’t meet her eyes; in fact, he stared at a spot somewhere in the far distance and for a fleeting second there was a hint of humanity in his eyes. He looked a little lost, out of his depth to the point where she almost felt a little sorry for him.

And that was the problem with Jason, he tried hard to be macho and heroic, but inside he was really just immature. He was all about the fun, and nothing about the responsibility. One day he’d grow up and be a decent citizen—he really would. He just hadn’t evolved that far yet. ‘Amy’s pregnant.’

‘Oh. Wow. Well, wow. A baby? Wow. That’s a surprise.’ It felt like a fierce stab to her heart. It was stupid to even think it, let alone feel it viscerally, but Chloe’s gut hurt as if her own child had been ripped away from her. It was no secret that she’d planned to have babies, a family. Jason hadn’t wanted one, at least not yet.
Too young,
he’d said,
to be tied down to children. We should be having fun while we’re young
.
Wait.
So she had. And waited. And waited. Until another woman had taken her place. That poor woman who didn’t know he was still searching for someone. ‘That’s… well, that’s wonderful. Fabulous!’

‘Is it?’ His head snapped up to meet her eyes now. There was what she could only describe as fear in his gaze.

Chloe dropped the gushing exuberance; she didn’t feel it and clearly neither did he. ‘You’re not happy about it?’

‘
We’re
ecstatic. Can’t you tell? Delighted.’ His eyes flicked again to Amy, who was still nibbling her fingernails and looked as far from ecstatic as anyone could be about carrying Jason’s offspring. ‘Over the bloody moon.’

‘Well, it’s great news, and it’s happening whether you’re ecstatic or not. Congratulations to you both.’ Her voice seemed to echo a little, and it took Chloe a moment to realise that the DJ had stopped the music, and people were starting to gather near the cake, although their eyes were on Jason. And her. And she felt the creep of more humiliation steal through her veins, through her limbs. ‘Look after her, Jason. Treat her well.’

‘And what do you care?’ Now his voice was really loud. ‘I mean, really, Chloe? Why the hell does it matter to you?’

‘I guess you and Amy don’t matter to me. But a baby matters, a real human being that you’re going to have to take care of. And obviously it matters to Amy, so it should be bloody important to you.’ So he needed to grow up and stop acting like a hormone-fuelled teenager who couldn’t own up to his responsibilities. Of course, she’d only realised this in the last three months. Before that, she’d been buoyed by his youthful outlook and enchanted by his enthusiasm to have fun.

From the corner of her eye, Chloe saw Vaughn take a step towards them carrying two glasses of white wine. She shook her head minutely to stop him. This was between her and her ex, any other contributors would start making way more of it than it was. She could handle it, smooth things over and stop it being such a big deal. At least, outwardly, anyway. Inwardly, her stomach twisted tight, and there was a lump in her throat.

A baby.

She focused on Jason. ‘Please give my congratulations to Amy. You need to think about her and what she needs now.’

‘Ah, well… Thing is, Chlo…’ He gave her a weak smile, as he seemed to take a moment to centre himself. His body softened the longer he looked at her as if he were remembering good times, good things. ‘Thing is… I’m trying to think about her. I am. It’s just, I can’t stop thinking about you.’

‘Well, tough, Jace. Tough, if you feel guilty about it. You made a decision, and you have to live with it.’ ‘I don’t think I can.’ And to her horror, he reached out and touched her face.
Oh, good God. No.

Really?
He wasn’t feeling guilty about what he’d done to her; he wanted her back. Or wanted her,
as well
.

She prayed no one was watching, that they were all distracted by the amazing cake or… something. She hoped no one would see this drunken morose idiot spouting nonsense, and her standing there taking his thinly veiled passive-aggressive rubbish all over again. Not anymore.

She didn’t want him to like her anymore.

Taking a step back, Chloe took a deep breath. ‘Please don’t touch me.’

He looked sulkily at her. ‘You used to like it.’

‘When we were together, yes. And now we’re not. You’re with Amy. And she’s watching.
And pregnant.
In fact, everyone’s watching. Including Jane, the bride,
my client
.’ Jane was standing, cake knife gripped in her hand, her face thick with anger and frustration as if contemplating where to stick that knife next. Chloe had a few ideas… ‘Jason, please go back to Amy.’

‘I don’t want to go. I want to stay here with you.’

She took hold of his hand and pulled it away from her face, flashing a smile to the watching crowd while simultaneously silently praying for the ground to swallow her up. ‘You’re drunk, Jace, and you’ll regret all this tomorrow. Just go back to your girlfriend and stop making a scene. You’re going to ruin this for Jane and Tim, and for me. You have no idea how bad this looks.’

He shook his head. ‘That’d be right. It was always about you, wasn’t it? What you wanted.’

‘I’m going.’ Chloe took a few steps towards the group but was stopped by Jason’s hand on her arm.

‘You can’t go.’ He was shouting now. ‘Stay here. Stay here, Chloe. Do not walk away.’

‘Jason! What are you doing? Why are you touching her?’ Amy’s wobbling voice echoed around the room as she marched towards them. There was no sign of a pregnancy, no tell-tale little bump or waddle, but she did look very angry.

Chloe’s heart plummeted. This was worse than a dreadful daytime soap opera. She walked towards her ex-best friend, palms up and open in surrender and made her voice as soothing as possible,
‘Amy, it’s fine. Really. There’s nothing happening here.’

Amy glared at her. ‘You’re just jealous, that’s all. It doesn’t suit you, you know. Poor Jason feels sorry for you, and he’s a bit vulnerable right now. So just leave him alone.’

Vulnerable? There was that internet profile again running through her head like a TV news report. But what could she say? They’d only accuse her of making things up, or stalking him or some other rubbish. This was all such a bad idea.

‘Okay, both of you, that is enough. Stop it. Stop it right now. I am fine with everything—you both made your choices, and that’s okay. We’ve all moved on, and we all have to get along. Now, there’s a wedding going on here, let’s enjoy it, right?’

She managed to extricate herself and did a walk of shame through the silent crowd and the clients and the gaping guests to the magnificent five-tiered wedding cake resplendent with the whitest of white icing and a deep red carpet running from bottom to top. Hollywood glamour in fondant icing. On the very top was a clapperboard with the words Mr and Mrs Wright. Wedding. Act One. It had taken her days to find the most accomplished cake maker for this. It was a flipping masterpiece and all to Chloe’s own design. ‘Okay, let’s get this show on the road, eh? Who’s for cake?’

And yes, her voice was wobbling almost as much as her legs, but she thought she just might have got away with it.

‘About time, too. We’ve been standing here like idiots while you sort out your disastrous love life,’ Jane hissed through clenched teeth as the caterer carved the bottom tier into pieces. In the far corner of the room, Chloe could see Vaughn and Jason having a heated discussion. Jason was shrugging weak shoulders as Vaughn towered over him, face black as thunder. Everywhere she turned there was an argument. Jane was still hissing. ‘What the hell did you think you were doing there? How dare you try to ruin my wedding? We’re supposed to be in the limelight, not you.’

‘I am so, so sorry, Jane. He gets a little boisterous when he’s been drinking.’ So maybe things hadn’t gone quite as unnoticed as Chloe had hoped. It was her job to ensure the bride and groom’s day went off without a hitch, that the bride had the happiest day of her life. She was supposed to be giving her the fairy tale, not the nightmare incorporating a stand-up row in the middle of the dance floor at cake cutting time.

‘I know what he did was hurtful, Chloe, but you can’t take it out on him here, at my wedding.’ Frosty was an understatement; Jane would have frozen a blowtorch in a heat wave.

‘But, I… wasn’t taking it out—’ Was there any use in arguing?

‘And poor Amy. She’s pregnant, you know. It hasn’t been easy for her. Morning sickness is horrible.’

‘Poor Amy?’ The one who got the man and the baby? ‘I mean… yes, poor Amy. Morning sickness is terrible.’

The bride’s eyes narrowed as she glared at Chloe. ‘She’s been a good friend to me while you’ve been hibernating and refusing to come out. I couldn’t have done all this without her support.’

‘What? I arranged the whole thing…’

‘You did some phoning around, yes, but
she
was there for me when I needed to talk ideas through. She was so concerned about you being here today. She was in pieces over it, I mean real ugly tears, and I had to deal with all that. People told me to get another planner after what happened at your own wedding and the police and the newspaper article and everything, and that you can be…
emotional
about things, but I stuck by you. And now you show us up in front of everyone by arguing with him? Here? At my wedding?’

The hot sting of anger welled up from Chloe’s chest. ‘But… I didn’t… he… I… Wait a minute… which
people
told you to get another wedding planner?’

Jane looked nervously towards her friends. Their friends. The ones who’d chosen Jason. ‘Honestly, Chloe, do you think I’m going to tell you that?’

‘No. It doesn’t matter, really, it doesn’t.’ Tears stung the back of her eyes. But damn it if she was going to show them she was upset by it all. Clearly, they’d already made up their minds about who’s side they were on, and it wasn’t hers. She made a play of looking at her watch. ‘Oh, I think the DJ’s going to start up again in a minute. Eight thirty? That’s right?’

‘I don’t know, you’re the planner, aren’t you? I’m just the bride, remember?’

How could I forget?

Chloe started to say more, but Jane turned away and started talking to another guest, all smiles and serenity as if Chloe and her problems didn’t exist.

In fact, as Chloe did a three-sixty degree turn, she realised everyone had grouped off into little huddles. One of which was around Amy. Old friends—of Chloe’s too—were stroking her back and making cooing noises. Jason was nowhere to be seen. And as for Vaughn, he’d disappeared too.

So she was on her own. Entirely on her own, and yet surrounded by hundreds of guests. Which had been her plan, after all, once the dating thing hadn’t worked out. She’d been absolutely fine about being here purely for business, with no one to support her or to take her side or to help. She was still fine about it. She was a strong professional woman, after all, and she had absolutely nothing to prove to any of them.

She just hadn’t realised how lonely it would feel.

‘
S
o
, you didn’t tell me you were going to be the main act tonight. Quite a show.’
Vaughn.
There was that little flip in her stomach. He’d appeared from nowhere again, handing her a glass of wine and wrapping an arm around her shoulder, which felt strangely wonderful and comforting, as he steered her towards an open door. ‘But that’s quite enough for now, Chloe. Let’s get you out of the spotlight. Take this and drink.’

The museum was housed in an old wharf building overlooking the River Thames. Out front, there was a wooden deck, usually closed off to the public, but open for private functions, with views across to Tower Bridge. They stepped outside and breathed in the cool spring air. The sun was dipping behind the buildings, casting red streaks over the city. It could have been beautiful. It was, but Chloe didn’t feel it. She just felt righteously annoyed, and strangely beyond glad that Vaughn was here.