While Matthew was gone, Hester cleaned. How she cleaned! She found an old bar of carbolic soap, cracked and dried out, and soaked it into softness. Then she got every ornament out of the front room and washed them lovingly. She brushed, dusted, polished, took the curtains off their rods, cleaned the windows with vinegar and
water, set the curtains in the tin bath to soak, then got out the crock of flour and began to peel and grate potatoes. She would make potato cakes with the rest of the lard, since Matthew had said he would bring more when he came in. And if he did get eggs he should have one of those cakes Ugly Jack had been so fond of, made with carrots instead of dried fruit but tasting grand, or so Jack always said.
Because she was so busy, the afternoon passed in a trice; she hadn’t finished when the back door opened and Matthew, his arms full of food, stood there, grinning at her. ‘So it weren’t a dream,’ he said, beginning to unload his burdens on to the kitchen table. ‘I told ‘em you was back, Hester … Willi’s chin nigh hit the floor and Dewi couldn’t get over sayin’ how glad he were. Mrs Alice has sent you all sorts … I’ll put ’em away in the pantry, shall I?’
‘You do that while I finish the front room,’ Hester said, bustling past him with a tray loaded with china ornaments. ‘Then wash down and I’ll start our tea.’
After tea, they settled again before the fire, only this time both in the one chair.
How did I forget all this, for all those years? Hester asked herself, with the front of the range open and the flames strong enough to light the room as well as warm it. How could I have doubted Matthew’s goodness when I’d seen it every day for years and years?
‘Well now, who’s goin’ to start?’
‘You,’ Hester said quickly. ‘You were going to tell me where Mr Geraint was and what had happened.’
Matthew chuckled. ‘Tis a good tale,’ he admitted. ‘After you left, love, the old man weren’t himself, not for many a month. He did his best to find you, helped me wi’ advertisements and the like, and then he said to leave it ’cos you’d come home, he was sure you would.
But he got awful moody and difficult, we couldn’t keep staff, the place began to fall off …’
‘Oh, but he didn’t care about us,’ Hester protested. ‘He was fond of Nell, I grant you, but I was just his cook-housekeeper.’
She waited, dreading Matthew might remember that Mr Geraint had claimed she was very much more than his housekeeper, that he had called her his mistress. Matthew had called her an adulteress, but he wasn’t in his right mind at the time, he had said so. Whether he remembered later who had told him what was open to question, but she would have to know; she could not stay here if he was waiting for her confession all the while.
‘You made that old ruin seem like a home, Hester. Without your care it went down’ill fast; and as you say, he were rare fond of our Nell.’ Matthew’s lazy smile had that edge of pride to it which Hester remembered from the faded photograph. ‘Who wouldn’t? Will she come back, Hes? Just to see us, mebbe?’
‘She’ll come back,’ Hester promised. ‘Look, Matt, I don’t want to tell you anything which will distress you, but – but Mr Geraint sometimes did try to –’
She was interrupted. He turned in the chair and kissed her mouth, astonishing her with the passion, kept in check but still self-evident, she could feel running through him. Then he drew back. He was breathing hard but the expression in his eyes was understanding. ‘D’you think I didn’t know that, sweetheart? He were always the same with any woman, why even Mrs Cled, little Mrs Clifton, but that didn’t matter, so long as it were me you loved, see? I knew he wouldn’t go too far, but it weren’t in him to leave a pretty lass alone. So no word o’ that, hey? That’s best forgot.’
Hester heaved a great sigh. She was sure, now, that he knew there had been something between her and Mr Geraint, but he didn’t know how much and didn’t want to
know either. She patted his knee, then clasped her hands in her lap, shocked by the stab of sexual excitement which had made her want to turn in his arms and admit to an equal desire to that she had sensed in him. We’ll get all our explanations over first, she told herself, not finishing the sentence even in her mind.
‘Right, we’ll forget it then. So where’s Mr Geraint now? And when will he be back?’
‘Wait on, best have a round tale,’ Matthew said, then paused to sort out his thoughts. ‘The summer after you went, Mr Geraint was left a property, in Kent. I don’t mind tellin’ you, he was in a bad way. He’d taken to drinkin’, he didn’t keep himself clean … he missed the pair of you almost as badly as I did. So when he heard Uncle Leo had made him his heir, he decided to leave. He offered me to go with him or stay here, in charge, like.
‘After he’d been there a year he got this gal, pretty little thing, but far too young for him, if you ask me … Dolly Frost her name was. It can’t have been more’n a month before she were sharing his bed, insisting that he got someone in to help her or she’d go, and managing him better than you could possibly guess to look at her.’
‘What did she look like?’ Hester asked. She had felt a stab of something like envy and was intent on banishing it. ‘Dark, I suppose?’
Matthew shook his head. ‘I’ve only clapped eyes on her the once, when he brought her up here. And she isn’t dark, she’s fair as a lily. Tall, slim, wi’ a haughty little nose which she kept cocked in the air when she spoke to us, and big, light blue eyes. Hair the colour of clotted cream, white skin … oh, she were pretty, all right, we could all see it. But Mr Geraint, he’s fair besotted. I reckon it hits you hardest when you’re old, and Mr G ain’t no chicken.’
‘Don’t say he’s going to marry her!’ Hester exclaimed,
wide-eyed. ‘I thought he was far too fond of his independence.’
‘He hasn’t yet, but she’s got him under her thumb, that’s for sure, and she won’t let him play around,’ Matthew said with a certain satisfaction. ‘When he tried she went off. The old man followed her, pleaded wi’ her, I guess, and got her back – under certain conditions.’
‘What?’ Hester asked eagerly. ‘What sort of conditions, Matt?’
‘She didn’t go for marriage, so that shows she’s got sense. She wants to stay in Kent, doesn’t want to come back here – well, she took one look at us and Pengarth and you could tell she thought we were a rough old lot and the castle a heap. She wanted a bit of money put by, for later. He laughed when he told me, but it’s my bet he paid it over meek as a lamb. He come up here and explained what had happened and put me in charge and ever since it’s been a visit every couple o’ years, wi’ the old man lookin’ older and tireder each time, just to see all’s right here.
She
hasn’t been here since,’ he added. ‘Not int’rested, particularly now she’s got what she wants.’
‘Gosh,’ Hester said inadequately. ‘What about this Mrs Alice, then?’ She turned in her seat to look up at him. ‘I was sure she was Mr Geraint’s latest!’
Matthew looked self-conscious. A flush reddened his cheekbones and his eyes tried to avoid hers. ‘Oh, I got her in. The old man don’t give a toss about the castle but he knew I’d not keep staff if I couldn’t feed ‘em, dinnertimes, and see to the harvest. I’ve got extra men, too. The land and outbuildings are in good heart, the stock’s healthy, the crops are fine. With all of us pullin’ together we’ve done a better job for Mr Geraint than he did for himself. You must come up and tek a look in a day or two, when you’ve settled down.’
‘I will,’ Hester said faintly. Her mind was almost unable to take in Matthew’s story. Fancy a chilly blonde,
called Dolly of all things, managing to wind Mr Geraint round her little finger to the extent of keeping him away from Pengarth! A thought occurred to her. ‘Are there any kids, Matt? Mr Geraint did like children, as I recall.’
‘No kids,’ Matthew said. ‘I don’t reckon he can, Hes, if you understand me. Otherwise there’d have been half-a-dozen brats wi’ his face on ’em be now.’
Hester swallowed. Let him go on believing that, she found herself praying. Let dear Matthew go on believing it!
‘So now it’s your turn, Hes. What were you doing while we were turnin’ the Pengarth estate into a decent sort o’ proposition?’
‘Right from the start?’ At Matthew’s nod she nodded too. ‘Fair enough. I’ll keep it short, but we had it hard when we first left, Nell and I. Until I joined a travelling fair we had nothing to call our own.’
He stared at her, eyes rounding. ‘A travelling
fair
?’ His eyes swept her from top to toe, a slow, loving appraisal, which set her tingling. ‘Well, you weren’t the fat woman, that’s for sure, so what did you do?’
‘I wrestled with a snake. I was Hester the Snake Woman, and I had this huge snake, Phillips, who pretended to fight with me and I had to charm him so that he gradually calmed down. You know the sort of thing.’
‘A snake called
Phillips?
Why Phillips, for Gawd’s sake?’
‘Matt, how practical you are,’ Hester sighed. ‘The man who first brought him to the fair was Reg Phillips and the last bit just stuck. But he wasn’t billed as Phillips, he was Venom, the giant poisonous snake from the South American jungles … don’t laugh!’
‘Can’t help it,’ Matthew spluttered, wiping tears of mirth from his cheeks. ‘Hester my love, how in heaven’s name did you get mixed up wi’ that little lot? You were always such a practical, sensible young woman.’
‘Hunger, desperation – and the fair folk were very good to me,’ Hester said soberly. ‘I know it sounds funny, well, it shouldn’t, but I suppose it must do since you laughed, but Phillips saved our bacon, mine and Nell’s. He gave us a living and something to live for, because when we first left … but that’s all far in the past. It was thanks to Phillips that we did so well. Why, in the end we even got our own trailer.’
‘What’s a trailer? And what sort of snake was he?’ Matt asked, fascinated. ‘I didn’t know the poisonous sort were big enough to wrestle with.’
‘He wasn’t poisonous, not really, that was just for the flatties,’ Hester said. ‘Fair folk live in trailers, they call them living wagons. As for Phillips, he’s a python and he must be ten feet long at least. He’s really heavy now though, it’s all I can do to handle him.’
‘And you’ve left Nell with a creature like that? My little Nell?’ Matthew’s voice rose. ‘Hester my love, have you done right?’
‘Nell’s taller than me and nearly as strong,’ Hester said defensively. ‘Besides, she isn’t working Phillips, she’s just taking care of him. And if you want me back, truly want me, then I suppose I’ll have to retire the old feller and … bring him back here to live.’
Matthew blinked, then rallied. ‘If that’s what you want,’ he said gamely. ‘There’s always the chicken-run, I suppose.’
Hester chuckled and leaned up to caress Matthew’s thin brown cheek. ‘It’s all right, if Nell doesn’t want to work him, I’ll give him to a zoo, unless I can find someone else to take him. He’s a gentle creature though, quite content with a place by the fire in winter and the warmth of the sun in summer. But he’s valuable; I’m sure either Nell or one of the showmen will take him on and willing.’
‘Good,’ Matthew said, not troubling to hide his relief. ‘Now I don’t want to ask too many questions and I’m sure
you don’t want to answer them, but … Hes, you didn’t remarry?’
‘I didn’t,’ Hester promised him. ‘I shared living accommodation but never a bed, I promise you, so you can rest easy on that score.’
Matt sighed and got heavily to his feet. He began to clear away the supper dishes, piling them beside the sink. Hester, taking her cue from him, emptied boiling water from the kettle into the stone sink and began to wash up.
‘Nor me. Why didn’t you take a man though, love? I remember you was warm-hearted and affectionate.’
‘Hot-arsed, you mean,’ Hester said grimly, and saw Matthew’s eyebrows shoot up; clearly he wasn’t used to plain speaking, not after living so long alone. ‘Matt, I won’t pretend I was ever an angel, but the way I saw it I was married to you and no one else and if I messed around it could only lead to pain and heartbreak. So I kept myself to myself.’
It wasn’t exactly true, but it wasn’t so far from the truth either, Hester thought defensively. She had never been unfaithful to Matt with anyone but the old man, and, from what Matthew had said, he had known full well the risk he was running, letting her work up at the castle. Besides, it was so long ago, and Mr Geraint was practically a married man now. Did marriage wipe out infidelity? She hoped so.
‘That’s good,’ Matthew said now. He began to dry the dishes. ‘What made you come back, love? If you can bear to talk about it, that is.’
‘The man who helped me with my act and whose trailer I shared was killed. Nell had moved out years back and I was alone, and it struck me that you might … might want me back. So here I am.’
Matthew finished the dishes and hung the towel by the range to dry. He turned and looked straight at Hester, his gaze candid.
‘Time we thought about bed. Hester, my love, do you want to sleep in Nell’s room for a while?’
It’s now or never, Hester told herself. Do you really mean to do right by Matthew, or are you going to hold back, keep something in reserve? After all, it would be fair enough. She had not shared a room, let alone a bed, with this man for a dozen years, it would be like sleeping with a stranger. No one would blame her if she asked for a few days grace.
‘No thanks, Matt; we’ll start as we mean to go on,’ she said steadily. ‘We’ve been wed on and off for nearly twenty years, it’s no time to turn coy with one another. I’ve shared your meal and your board; later on, if you agree, we’ll share your bed.’
She turned to smile at her husband. His face had flushed like a young girl’s, but the eyes he turned on her were hot with longing.
‘I agree,’ he said huskily. ‘Oh Hester, I’ve dreamed of this moment!’
15
WHEN THE LETTER
arrived saying that Hester had moved back in with Matthew, and that everything was fine, Nell was, for a moment, dismayed.
She was stuck here, then. Oh, Hester wanted her to visit them, ‘when we’ve settled down’, as she put it, but when was that likely to be? The letter, even after a second and third reading, said so little.