Tanner grabbed the last bite and said, “I’m driving out to Midland tomorrow.”
“What’s out in Midland?”
“Jackson Harwood wants to get Cole in on a deal he’s doing. I said I’d bring it to him, try and get him to sign.”
Ginny tried to keep her eyebrows from running up into her hairline, turning around slowly to give herself time to get over the shock.
She thought of Tanner meeting with Cole and said, “I want to go with you.”
Tanner shook his head and she banged the saran wrap on the counter. “We’re going to be a team, remember? We’re going to do it together, Tanner.”
“We will.”
“Tomorrow.”
“I can’t, Ginny. Tomorrow I will go see Cole Montgomery. And I will do whatever I have to so I can get in his good graces. Whatever he wants so I can be part of this deal. I can’t do it if you’re there. I can’t stand to have you watch that.”
She stared at her husband, saying nothing. Willing him to change his mind.
He whispered, “Please, Ginny. I have to do this without you.”
“And then, next time, I’ll go?”
“Yes. After I get Cole to sign, we’ll meet with Harwood together.”
She grimaced. “Why does it have to be with him?”
“It’ll be worth it.”
“Will you listen to me if I think it won’t?”
He rose, pulling a glass from the cupboard, turning to look at her. “Yes.”
She nodded. She wasn’t sure how that would go, how he’d react if she disagreed with him. If he’d believe her. They’d never done this before.
It was exciting and new. After eleven years of marriage, exciting and new was, well, exciting and new.
But this she was sure of. The two of them together would be better than the two of them apart.
Tanner pulled a bottle of Coke from the fridge, pouring it over ice. He didn’t add his normal shot of rum and she walked around the island to kiss his cheek.
“Can I have one?”
He nodded, getting another glass down for her. He poured, holding it out to her, and when she tried to take it, he whispered, “You never say anything about my drinking.”
She looked up. “I don’t know what to say.”
“You could say you hate it.”
“I could.”
“You could say you wish I would stop.”
“I do wish you could stop. But I don’t think it’s as easy as wishing.”
“I don’t want to be a drunk. But I try to stop and I fail. And I try and I fail. Fail, fail, fail.”
She ran her hand behind his ear. “Tonight you didn’t.”
He looked down in his glass, staring wide eyed. “I want it.”
“Wanting it’s not failing. I’m not sure the want is under your control. Only the doing.”
“I don’t know how to beat the want. It turns to need eventually. It will win eventually.”
“There’s a way, Tanner. I don’t know what it is, I don’t know what
your
way is, but I know there’s a way.”
He took a long drink, closing his eyes.
She said, “And you’ll probably fail a few times as you make your way. Fail is not a four-letter word. It just means you’re going down the wrong road, that you’ve come to a dead end. It doesn’t mean your destination is unreachable.”
“Destination. What is my destination?” He opened his eyes, looked down into his drink as if it held the answers he was seeking.
“You’re going to have to decide that for yourself, Tanner.”
He said, “What do you want?”
“For you to be happy.”
“And if I’m happy three sheets to the wind?”
She said simply, “Then I’m happy.”
“Are you happy, Ginny? Really happy?”
“No. Because you’re not.”
He looked into her eyes and she could see how unhappy he was.
How sad. Hopeless.
Why was life so hard? That’s what she wanted to know. Because no one escaped. No one.
All you could really do was keep trying.
And when you failed, turn around and try again.
He said, “So what do I do tonight? And tomorrow?” He laughed hollowly, closing his eyes. “How am I going to get through tomorrow without a drink waiting for me at the end?”
She wrapped her arms around him, whispering huskily. “I could distract you tonight. Anytime you need a distraction, I’d be happy to help.”
She pulled back, grinning at him, and he laughed. “I don’t deserve you.”
“Yes, you do. You’re blind about this, you can’t see that you deserve me. When we go see Harwood you won’t be able to see if the reward is worth the risk. You’ll just have to believe me without being able to see it. I think you’ll just have to believe me about this, too. You deserve me. If you didn’t, I would never have married you. If you didn’t, I wouldn’t still be with you.”
“So when you finally leave me, I’ll know I no longer deserve you?”
“If I’m still with you, you know you do.”
He whispered, “I’ll just have to make sure you never leave.”
She whispered back, “I know where you can start.”
He lifted her on to the counter and she squeaked. He said, “Right here?”
Ginny looked to the kitchen door. “On Rosa’s counter?”
“Why not?”
“I think it would be hard to stay with you if we were both dead.”
He pulled her head down, kissed her lips. “Rosa wouldn’t lay a finger on you.”
“That’s because I have respect for the woman who prepares our food and I wouldn’t desecrate her workspace.”
“Always so thoughtful. So sweet.”
“It’s a recessive gene. The Caldwells produce one every once in a while.”
He laughed, pulled her off the counter. “What about the bathroom counter? Will Rosa have anything to say about that?”
She took his hand and led him out of the kitchen. “Nope. Not a peep.”
Ginny was still awake when car lights flashed across the window, telling her Maggie was home.
They’d left the outside lights on for her, knowing she’d be back late. Ginny had been hoping she wouldn’t be back at all, that she’d end up at Cole’s.
But it looked like her sister was too stubborn for her own good.
Ginny glanced at Tanner sleeping beside her, their distraction having worked well enough for tonight.
Maybe she could help him after all. He had to do it himself, there really was no other alternative, but she could help him. She would help him any way she could.
She slipped out of bed, smiling, thinking that really wasn’t going to be a sacrifice. Not if tonight was any indication.
She threw on her pajamas, padding out to the living room, peering through the blinds to make sure it was Maggie. The windows were open to the cool night air and Ginny could hear Cole saying, “I have to know. It’s been driving me crazy all night.”
They were a breaths width apart, Maggie’s lips curved in a smile, Cole staring at them. Maggie said, “Whatever you find, it’ll drive you crazy for the rest of the night.”
He ran his hands down her back, finding the zipper to her pants and slowly pulling it down. “I’m willing to live with that.”
Ginny turned away, not particularly interested in seeing her sister naked, when Cole said, “You
are
wearing panties. A tease and a liar, Margaret Caldwell. There’s a place in hell reserved for women like you.”
Maggie said, “And there’s a place reserved in heaven for stupid men that fall for it.”
“Not stupid. Just hopeful.” A long pause and then he said softly, “Always hopeful.”
Ginny peeked through the curtains again to find her sister’s arms wrapped around Cole’s neck, kissing him like a dieter getting that first taste of cake.
Cole kept one hand down the back of Maggie’s pants, one hand fisted in her hair. He held her still as his mouth teased hers.
He trailed kisses to her ear and whispered something, and Ginny thought she was going to have to make a quick exit before they came inside.
Maggie went still for a long minute, then unwrapped her arms and pushed against him until he let her go. He slid his hands down her bare arms, linking their fingers, and stared into her eyes.
Maggie took a step back, Cole’s fingers still tangled with hers.
He held on and said, “Still no?”
“It’s always no, Cole. Stop falling for it.”
If Ginny didn’t know her sister, she’d call her a cold-blooded tease, too.
Cole smiled at Maggie and Ginny thought he knew her sister, too. That he could hear past the words to the huskiness below it. Could see past her nose in the air to her shallow breaths.
He said, “Where’s the fun in that?”
Maggie dropped his hand, turning to the door. Ginny watched him stare at the door as it closed. Watched him stand there, put his hands in his pockets, and wait for Maggie to come back out.
He undid his bow-tie and he waited.
And when Maggie didn’t come back out, he turned to his truck and walked slowly away.
Ginny had never thought she would feel bad for a man like Cole Montgomery. He wasn’t really a man that engendered pity.
But she thought he’d met his match with Maggie. He looked like he knew it, too.
Ginny dropped the blind, walked around the corner to find Maggie leaning against the front door, her hands tightly closed and pushing against her chest.
When she saw Ginny, Maggie dropped her hands, pushed herself away from the door.
Ginny said, “You sent him away after that?”
Maggie leaned down to undo her shoes, kicking them off with a heartfelt groan.
She closed her eyes and said, “I did. And Emily Brontë was wrong. We don’t breed sad sorrows for ourselves. We make our own hell on earth. A hell filled with unending, impossible want.”
“Then go back out there and wave him down. It’s not too late.”
Maggie sighed. “If I could figure out a way to have him and my pride at the same time, I would. If I could figure out a way to have him without losing
everything
, I would. But it is too late. It was too late twelve years ago. It’s been too late since I was born Margaret Caldwell and he was born Cole Montgomery.”
Sad and hopeless. Ginny couldn’t stand when those she loved were sad and hopeless.
Maggie unhooked the choker around her neck. “I’m going for a swim.”
Ginny looked out towards the pool. “Now?”
“Yeah. Go to bed, Ginny. Go curl up with your husband and be glad you’re not a slave to your dignity.”
Ginny watched Maggie walk down the hall to her bedroom. She waited until she saw Maggie come back out in her faded, worn swimsuit. Watched as Maggie dove into the pool and begin steady strokes that took her to one end of the pool and back again.
Then Ginny picked up the phone.
Cole picked up after one ring and said, “Maggie. Have you called to tell me you’ve taken those offending undergarments off?”
“It’s Ginny.”
“Oh.” He cleared his throat.
“Maggie is sad.”
“I’ll be right over.”
Ginny smiled in the darkness, still watching her sister, wondering how someone so smart could be so stupid. “Don’t you want to know why she’s sad?”
“Oh. Yeah. Sure.”
“She’s sad because she can’t figure out how to get what she needs without giving up her pride.”
“What does she need? She only has to ask me.”
Ginny said, “Oh, Cole. She won’t ever ask. She’ll deny she needs you until the breath is ripped from her body.”
He answered her with silence and she said, “One of you is going to have to bend. I don’t think it’s going to be her.”
And she hung up.
She put the phone back in its cradle and Tanner said behind her, “What are you doing?”
She jumped, whirling around. She put her hand to her chest, tried to slow it back down.
She said, “Just trying to make my sister happy.”
He cocked his head and she blushed slightly.
“Okay, I was trying to get my sister laid.”
He looked out the window at Maggie swimming back and forth. “They’re not sleeping together already?”
When she shook her head, he said, “Why not?”
Ginny screwed her face up, trying to think of how to tell him, and he groaned. He shut his eyes tight and said with conviction, “They’re not really engaged.
“They’re engaged. There just won’t be a wedding.”
“Maggie’s using him to get her creditors to back off.”
Ginny hadn’t meant to keep it from him, it was just every time Cole’s name up, Tanner found a drink. Ginny had stopped saying his name
He folded his arms. “Why didn’t I know this?”
“Because every time Cole is here, you’re not.”
“So, it’s not real.”
“It’s real. Just not permanent.”
Ginny looked back out at Maggie cutting through the water and Tanner said, “But you’re trying to make it permanent?”
“I don’t know. But he makes her happy. Have you ever seen her like this before?”
He shook his head no but Ginny had. Twelve years ago, Maggie had been happy and wild and crazy.
Her sister was not normally any of those. She was focused, dedicated, driven.
And when Cole was around she was distracted. When her and Cole were together she was happy.
She didn’t know why Maggie couldn’t see it. Or maybe she could see it, she just didn’t think it was important. Maybe happy wasn’t really a goal for Maggie.
They heard the engine of a truck, saw lights flash against the window.