Solitaire (14 page)

Slade’s brows dipped. He shoved the plate aside, concentrating on Cat, hearing the pain in her voice. “I’m sorry, Cat. I really screwed up, then. Yeah, I had flown to Maine to try and persuade you to come and work for me. But–” he managed a shy smile “–when I saw you all my logic went out the door. I hadn’t expected you to affect me like you did.” He picked up her hand, cradling it gently. “I wanted you to come here for personal motives, not professional ones. Please, believe me.” Slade refused to relinquish her hand. He reached out with the other, lightly tracing her cheek and delicate jawline. “And when it comes to you on a personal level…” His voice turned harsh. “Do you know how damned hard it’s been to keep my hands off you so you could heal? As much as I wanted to put my arms around you, hold you tight against me and kiss the hell out of you, I knew I couldn’t.” He saw hope suddenly spring like an emerald flame into her widening eyes.

“Look, let’s untangle our communication with one another. Yes, I came hunting you down.” He halted, struggling with words. “I’m lousy at talk, Cat. Let me show you how I feel about you.” Slade leaned down, wanting, needing to feel her lips once again beneath his. “I’ve been wanting to do this for so damn long…” He molded his mouth to hers. An explosion of need reeled through Slade as her soft, pliant lips yielded to him. He felt her arm sliding around his neck and he groaned as she lightly swayed against his chest. He had to forcibly stop his hands from following her curves upward to the small, firm breasts resting against him. Instead, Slade framed her face, cherishing her wine-bathed lips, using his tongue to probe the corners of her mouth.

“You make a man thirsty for more,” he groaned as he probed the inner, moist recesses of her mouth. A column of need roared through him, his body hardening with a fire of its own. Cat’s breath was moist and ragged against him and Slade reveled in her ardor. He allowed his hands to trail down her slender neck and cup her shoulders. Reluctantly, he eased away, then stared down hungrily at Cat. She was his, all of her.

As Slade drew back, his hands captured hers. “Listen to me,” he told her roughly, his voice heavy with desire. “I want you like I’ve never wanted another woman, Cat. And it’s not because of what I need from you professionally.” Slade caressed her cheek, reveling in her luminous eyes. “Can you separate the issues? It’s important to me that you can.”

Cat was barely coherent after the branding kiss that had seared her lips. She hadn’t been merely hungry for Slade’s touch, she’d been starved, and her returning fervor had caught her totally off guard. Never had a man affected her so profoundly as did Slade. Touching Slade physically was merely an extension of everything else Cat already felt in her heart.

Her heart? Cat was careful not to place any emphasis on that unexpected and unknown quantity right now. If age had taught her nothing else, it had taught her that time would reveal what was real in their burgeoning relationship. Now, Slade was waiting for an answer from her. She stared into his eyes, seeing fear mingled with hope. Fear?

“I want to separate these things, Slade. Why don’t you tell me what you want from me and then we can clear the air. I don’t want to suspect your every move or intention. You can’t blame me for reacting like this. Put yourself in my place.”

Slade refused to allow Cat to reclaim her hands. He gave her all his attention. “Professionally, I want you to think about building a mine for me. That’s all. The decision is up to you and I’m not going to pressure you about it.” He gently squeezed her fingers. “But some of your reaction isn’t warranted. At least, not with me and what we share.”

She hung her head for an instant, wanting to believe Slade. “Maybe all the years of being in the field have made me more isolated than I wanted to be.” She sighed. “Maybe I just need someplace I can go to when it all becomes too much to take.”

“Don’t you have a permanent address? An apartment on the coast? A condo?” Slade ran his thumb gently in small circles on the back of her hand.

Cat shook her head, relaxing beneath Slade’s ministrations, wonderful tingling sensations fleeing up her arm as he lightly stroked her. “The Triple K is home.”

“That’s the family homestead. What about some place special for you?”

“No. The mine I’m building on my next assignment becomes my home. I live in a tent or trailer just like everyone else.”

“Well, you apparently need more. I noticed you called the ranch your home today for the first time.”

A shiver of longing moved through her and Cat acknowledged his statement. “I did, didn’t I?”

“Yes.”

Cat gave a rueful shake of her head. “I think I’m burned out and haven’t even recognized my own symptoms.”

Slade reluctantly let her go and brought their plates back over so that they could finish lunch. He wasn’t hungry, but he recognized the need to step back and talk about their other problems. “I think this accident has helped open you up to some of your feelings,” he said quietly, wanting to find a way to probe the content of her restless nights.

“I can’t shake the nightmares, Slade.”

He treaded lightly, sipping his wine. “Have you figured out why they’re still with you?”

Cat picked up a ripe red apple, the surface slick and polished as she slowly turned it around between her hands. “As stupid as this sounds, I find myself standing at the opening to a mine. And then, I break out into a cold sweat.”

“Afraid to enter it?”

Cat gnawed on her lower lip. “Yes. Of all things, Slade, I’m afraid to go down into an adit. I’ve spent the past ten years of my life in shafts, even those that miners were afraid to go into, and I never thought anything of it. Can you believe that? It’s just blown me away.” She looked down at her hands, closed tightly around the apple. “More important, it shouldn’t affect me like it has. It’s stupid.”

“Ever fallen off a horse?”

“More times than I can count. Why?”

“Rafe said you can apply the same logic to a mine. There isn’t a miner, an engineer or geologist who’s been trapped who hasn’t experienced that same strangling fear.”

Relief was mirrored in Cat’s features. “You’re using the right word: strangling. Sometimes, when I think about it, I can barely breathe. I feel as if an invisible hand is choking off my breath and I’m slowly suffocating.”

“Like you were in that cave-in.”

Cold fear took away the heat within her. “Yes.”

“Well,” Slade said slowly, “there are two things you can do, Cat. One is to never enter another mine and give up a good portion of your work. Or you can go face that fear by entering a mine again. It’s like getting thrown off a horse and then climbing right back on. The sooner you do it, the quicker the fear recedes.”

“Does the fear ever go away?”

“It’s different for everyone.”

“You’ve been trapped. How does it affect you when you go into a shaft?”

“There’s always a thread of fear deep down in me,” Slade admitted. “But then, I swing my focus to why I’m down there, and the fever of finding a gem outweighs my fear.”

“What have three cave-ins taught you?”

A slight smile pulled at his mouth. “To value each minute of each day like there will never be another. I used to live in the future; I don’t anymore.”

Cat closed her eyes, relief washing through her. “I’m so glad you understand.” Her voice held a tremor. “Every day I find myself enjoying little things I overlooked before. I used to ignore so much, Slade.”

“But you don’t anymore,” he said softly, giving her a tender smile that promised so much.

They finished lunch and Slade repacked the basket, placing it in the Jeep. Cat stood near the river, watching a bass leap out at a dragonfly that had flown too close to his lily-pad home beneath the water. As he turned back to her, Slade read the sad expression on her face. She was allowing him to sense her feelings, no longer hiding so much of herself from him. He found himself smiling. Each time they shared an encounter, it was as if another petal of their relationship had opened.

Slade’s feelings were strong toward Cat and he didn’t fight them. How many nights had he lain awake, thinking of her? She was like him in some respects, always traveling the world in search of a new adventure. Cat was also strong and independent, and he liked that about her. Yet, as he studied her profile, he was achingly aware of her vulnerability.

Cat was pleasantly surprised as Slade gently drew her back against him. Her lips parted as he brushed her hair with a kiss. “Slade…” She whispered his name.

“This is what I wanted to do,” he told her in a low voice, his fingers gently massaging her shoulders. Her skin was soft and firm beneath his explorations. “The sunlight dances off your hair and I can see the gold in it.”

Cat’s smile softened. “Pyrite. Fool’s gold.”

“No way, lady. You’re a rare vein of gold that few are ever privileged to see.”

Her nostrils flared as she inhaled his salty, masculine scent. “I’m afraid, Slade.”

He opened his eyes, holding her a little more firmly, disturbed by the tremulous quality in her tone. “Of what?”

“Of you.”

“I won’t hurt you.”

“Not intentionally.”

“Have you always run, Cat?”

She shook her head, glorying in his male strength, the tenderness he offered her. She needed it badly. “No, but you’re different.”

He rested his mouth against the silky strands of her hair. “Explain.”

“You show how you feel. Most of the men I know are closed up like the mines we dig. I haven’t had much experience with a man of your openness.”

“Ah, I see.” He pressed a kiss to her temple. “Never took on a Texan?” He deliberately teased her, feeling the tension in her shoulders. Then, almost as quickly, her tension dissolved beneath his cajoling tone.

“No. Never.”

“What else bothers you about me?”

“Just that.” Cat tilted her head, catching his teasing expression. “And what you wanted from me professionally.”

Slade smiled, feeling the softness of her cheek against his sandpapery one. “I’m sorry I didn’t discuss the matter sooner, Cat. The mine became secondary to your coming here to the ranch. You were what was important to me. I’m not lying, nor am I playing a game with you. If this has been on your mind, though, I wish you’d asked sooner.”

“I was afraid of the answer, Slade,” Cat admitted hoarsely. “No one likes to think they’re manipulated or strung along.”

Slade sighed deeply. “I guess I deserve that from you. My intentions were to discuss the mine when you were ready. Right now, you’re still healing.” He kissed her temple.

Cat leaned back against him. “What I want to know is, why aren’t you married? A man with your attributes would turn any woman’s head.”

His smile disappeared and he gently folded his arms around her as they stood at the bank of the river. “Came close a couple of times,” Slade admitted.

“But?”

“What woman was going to accept my traveling life-style and stay at home without me for months at a time?”

“She could go with you.”

He shook his head. “Not the women I fell in love with. They wanted a home and a family. Until recently, I couldn’t provide the kind of security they wanted. You know how geologists bum around the world. There aren’t many women willing to make a home in the desert for a year, or live in a jungle in Thailand while you hunt for gems. Women get the worst end of the deal: loneliness. I can understand their position and that’s the main reason I haven’t married.” Slade gazed down at her. “I told you before: I’m looking for a woman who’s as footloose as I am.”

Cat ignored the invitation in his voice. She was thinking along similar lines. Finding a man who would accept her vocation and allow her to travel had slimmed candidates to a bare minimum. “I don’t find many men willing to let me roam, either.”

“Just two old travel-weary vets of the rock industry, huh?”

Cat smiled. “With at least another couple of decades of bumming around left in them.” If she could control her fear of mine entry.

“I think when I’m eighty, I’ll still be a rock hound at heart.”

“The earth is too alive to us to ever walk away from,” Cat agreed. And knowing that, she suddenly vowed to overcome her fear. The earth had always been good to her.

“I like your attitude, lady. Come to think of it, I haven’t seen much not to like about you.”

“Wait.” Cat laughed. “I get in a blue funk every once in awhile.”

“And when you do, what happens?”

“I get crabby and crawl into my shell.”

“Retreat is the better part of valor, maybe?”

“You understand.”

“I try,” Slade whispered, pressing one last kiss on her temple before he released her.
Soon,
he promised Cat softly,
soon you’ll be in my arms like I’ve been dreaming for the past month.

As they walked back toward the Jeep, Slade stole a look at her. “How’d you like me to tell you about my mine, sometime? When you’re up to it, that is.”

Cat stared nonplussed at him for a moment, digesting his question. “Let me think about it.”

Slade held up both hands in a gesture of friendly surrender. “Great. I just don’t want any more misunderstandings between us, Cat. You tell me when you’re ready, and I’ll spill out everything.”

Cat nodded and slipped into the seat of the Jeep. “Fair enough.”

Slade accepted her dictate and turned the key. The Jeep roared to life and they followed the dirt road beneath the thousands of pecan trees, heading back to Mourning Dove Ranch.

Cat mulled over his explanation about the mine and was relieved. He hadn’t asked her to the ranch just to get her professional services. The intimacy Slade had established with her after lunch had sent such sharp longing through her, it was worse than the pain she had experienced with her broken ribs. Cat forced herself to think of other matters. Casting a glance over at Slade, she decided to find out more about his mysterious mining project.

Chapter Seven

A
s they got out of the Jeep and walked into the house, Cat gathered all that was left of her nerve and spoke up.

“Slade?”

“Yes?”

“I don’t want to wait to hear the story of your mine.” She came to a halt and rested her fingers lightly on his upper arm. “Do you have some time this afternoon?”