Soldier's Daughters (45 page)

‘There is one thing, though,’ said Jenna. ‘Nathan seems to have picked up saying “toilet” and your mum is trying to make him say “lavatory” instead.’

Maddy giggled. ‘God, she’s such a snob.’

‘It’s my fault,’ said Jenna.

‘Like I’m worried,’ said Maddy. ‘If the worst thing Nathan does in his life is say “toilet” and annoy his granny then I’ll be happy.’

‘Yes,’ said Jenna. ‘You’re right. He could do much worse things. Much worse.’ She turned and stared at Seb. Seb stared back and his heart crunched as a bolt of guilt skewered him. That look? Did she know something? And if so, how? But then Jenna looked back at Maddy and smiled and Seb felt as if he could breathe again.

‘Anyway,’ said Jenna, taking the mobile from Seb and looking at the picture of the baby, ‘what you going to call her?’

‘I think I need to get to know her a bit first,’ said Maddy. ‘Don’t want to saddle her with a name that doesn’t suit her. It took us a while to come up with Nathan.’

‘A whole week,’ said Seb. ‘Your mother got quite antsy.’

‘Nothing new there, then,’ said Maddy.

Jenna laughed. ‘I think I know where you’re coming from. Anyway, I shall love you and leave you. Now you’ve got hubby back and your mum is around, I am definitely the pork sausage at the bar mitzvah. Bye, hon. Make sure hubby and your mum spoil you. I’m just going to take as last look at the new arrival and then I’m going home. Byeee.’ She whirled out of the door again.

‘Hubby?’ said Seb, horrified.

‘Snob. And, frankly, I couldn’t give a toss how she talks or what she says, she’s my friend and she has been wonderful these past few days.’

‘She’s trouble.’

Maddy yawned.

‘Sorry, hon, you’re knackered, aren’t you?’

‘That’s what comes of giving birth first thing in the morning.’

‘Tell you what, why don’t I leave you to get some sleep and I’ll come back when I’ve had a shower, a nap and something to eat. We can have a have a proper catch-up then. I’ll see if I can smuggle some fizz in.’

‘That’s against the rules!’

‘Sod it, let’s see if we can’t break a few.’

‘Or you could wait. I think I’ll be allowed to go home tomorrow. The baby may have to stay in – they’re going to see how she does.’

‘Can I see her?’

‘Of course. Go and see the sister.’ Maddy yawned again.

‘I’m going to go. You need your rest. I’ll go and meet junior and then I’ll get off home. Bye, hon.’ He kissed her tenderly again and then went to see his new daughter.

Maddy, exhausted as she was, wondered what she was going to do about her and Seb. She loved him, she knew it, but she still had to come to terms with what Michelle had told her. So, she reasoned in the relative quiet of her hospital bed, there were three possible scenarios: confront Seb and find out that Michelle was lying; confront Seb and find out it was all true; or ignore the whole sorry state of affairs. If she confronted Seb and it was true then a whole other can of worms would be opened. If, on the other hand, she decided to ignore everything she could carry on with her life and the waves that had rocked her boat would subside. Maddy looked at the picture of the little scrap she’d given birth to only a few hours previously. Maybe she was being naïve and stupid but it seemed to be the best way to her. The baby didn’t need to come into a family with troubles; the third option it was, then.

She was snuggling down into the pillows when the door opened again.

‘Jenna? Back again?’

‘Sorry, hon, I’ll only be a minute but I need to cough to something and I didn’t want to tell you in front of Seb. I lurked in the corridor till I saw him go.’

‘What? Why?’

‘Look, I might have been bang out of order but I told Milward about the visit from Michelle.’

Maddy was wide awake. ‘You did what?’

Jenna sighed. ‘I couldn’t bear the idea she might do something really bonkers – she needed to have the frighteners put on her. It was the only thing I could think of doing. Anyway, I don’t know what Milward’s done about it but I told him he ought to find out who she was and tell her boss what she was getting up to. I did say he wasn’t to mention that Michelle said she’d had an affair with Seb, but I don’t know if Milward would have paid any attention to that. You know what the army’s like – they’re not going to look kindly on an officer doing what she was doing.’

Maddy blew her cheeks out. ‘And to think I’d decided to ignore it all; pretend nothing had happened.’ She regarded Jenna. ‘I suppose I ought to thank you but…’ God, this was tricky and she was starting to feel a bit of a heel because she would have preferred it if Jenna hadn’t interfered.

‘But?’

‘But I don’t want Seb to know that I know.’

‘What? Really?’

‘Really. I think it’s for the best. Truly.’

‘I’ve fucked up,’ said Jenna. She looked despondent.

‘I don’t know. Jenna, I’m too tired to think about it at the mo, but thanks for telling me. If you could do me a favour?’

‘Yes, anything, what?’

‘Get me Milward’s number. Text it to me as soon as you can. The advantage of being in here is that I can think in peace and quiet with no toddler or baby making demands. The goalposts have shifted again, but, to be honest, what’s done is done.’

‘Sure,’ said Jenna. ‘And I’m sorry, but I was really worried and I thought Milward needed to know.’

‘Yes, I know.’ Maddy wasn’t sure if she agreed or not with Jenna’s assessment but she was too knackered to think about it further.

Jenna disappeared and then Maddy shut her eyes. Just when she thought she’d got a plan straight in her head…

Sam and Luke lay, side by side, still holding hands, propped up against a tree trunk in what passed for shade, both gazing at the river. All that water and they couldn’t get near it. Sam empathised with the Ancient Mariner: ‘Water, water, everywhere, nor any drop to drink.’ And there wasn’t, not any. Not a single bloody drop. None left. And the water they were looking at, apart from being filthy, and brown and muddy and probably diseased, was stiff with crocodiles, lounging on the banks, lying in it with just their nostrils and froggy eyes above the surface, lying in the cool, cool water while she and Luke sweltered in the sun, on this bank where it would be difficult for the reptiles to sneak up. Taking on one lion was one thing but there had to be about a hundred crocs right here. The odds, if they decided to attack, weren’t hopeful.

‘You all right, Sam?’ croaked Luke.

She nodded. ‘Why?’ Her voice was barely above a whisper.

‘Because, until very recently, you’ve been like the Duracell bunny on amphetamines, never bloody stopping, never shutting up, and now you’ve gone all quiet.’

‘Oh.’ There was a pause while she forced herself to swallow but her throat stayed arid and sore. ‘Just tired, that’s all.’

‘Sam?’

‘Hmm.’

‘I’ve been a bastard to you right up till now.’

‘It doesn’t matter,’ she whispered. And it didn’t. Not now. Nothing mattered. She shut her eyes against the glare of the sun.

‘It does. You need to know why.’

‘I don’t.’

‘It’s because when you walked into the LAD and I saw you, I thought you were the perfect woman, and then when I had to half carry you to the medical centre… well, it all got a bit much. I realised then I might have made a dreadful mistake in not being an officer and that I’d never have a chance with you, so to stay sane I had to keep you at arm’s length. I thought if I let you get to me, if you were nice, I’d be lost. That was why I was such a git, to make sure you weren’t.’

Sam smiled weakly. ‘You succeeded.’

‘And then I thought you were dating Rosser. I couldn’t stand it, I was so jealous. It consumed me.’

‘You needn’t have worried. We’re just mates – very platonic.’ There was a pause while Sam gathered enough strength to ask Luke something that had bothered her. ‘That dance,’ Sam croaked, ‘at the corporals’ club. You wanted to show him up, didn’t you?’

‘Yeah. I don’t know what came over me.’

‘Immi enjoyed it.’

‘I suppose. Anyway, now I
have
got a chance and we’re together, it’s all gone horribly wrong.’

Sam summoned the energy to squeeze his hand. She rolled her head and looked at him. ‘We’re together,’ she said. ‘That’s the main thing. That’s enough for me.’

Luke kissed her cheek. ‘You’re crying.’

‘No, I’m not,’ she lied. ‘Can’t afford to waste the fluids.’ She flopped back against the tree. That conversation had drained yet more energy from her. She felt exhausted, a husk and worse, she felt despair descend on her like a shroud. It was hopeless. In this temperature and with no water it was probably only hours now till it would all be over. She fingered her pistol. Should she suggest to Luke they could shorten the timeline? No, or not yet, anyway.

The heat throbbed. And the silence bore down on her oppressively. Only she realised it wasn’t totally silent. She could hear the faint rasp of Luke’s breathing and the whine of a mosquito and the buzzing of the ever-present flies. But there wasn’t much sound. Not even a bird cry. They were abandoned. She pressed Luke’s fingers again and got a stroke of his thumb on the back of her hand in response. No, they weren’t abandoned – they had each other.

Even thinking was taking too much energy. Her mind drifted to nothing and she hovered halfway between consciousness and unconsciousness.

To begin with she thought the low throbbing was in her head, due to the sun beating relentlessly on it. Or was it her pulse? Some unknown insect? Or was she imagining it?

‘Luke?’ Her voice was a faint croak.

‘What?’

‘Can you hear it?’

‘What?’

‘Listen.’

The throbbing was louder, more insistent, more real.

Sam raised her head. Something glinted in the sunshine, something metallic in the sky.

‘Oh my God, a chopper,’ croaked Sam. She staggered to her feet and tottered away from the tree and into the open scrub. She began waving her hat in the air weakly. Luke joined her. They jumped, they hollered, they waved, but the chopper flew on its course, on the far side of the river, and the clatter of the rotors died away. After several minutes there wasn’t a hint of aircraft noise to be heard at all.

So close…

Even in her miserable despondency, an idea came to Sam. ‘Luke, have you got any cam cream?’

Luke stared at her. ‘You stupid woman, we want to become more visible, not less.’

‘Just answer the question.’

Sam watched Luke rummage in his combat jacket pockets. ‘Here.’ He proffered a small compact. Sam flipped open the lid and began to clean the mirror with her sleeve.

‘You look fine,’ joked Luke.

Sam shook her head. She looked like shit.

She staggered right away from the trees and then began to flash the mirror.

‘You are a genius,’ said Luke as he cottoned on to what she was up to.

‘Don’t knock us officers,’ croaked Sam, ‘we have our uses.’

Luke joined her. ‘You’ve got to hope they’re quartering the ground and will head back this way in a while.

Sam nodded. She tried to smile but her lips were so cracked and dry that stretching them hurt. ‘It’s our last hope.’

Her wrist began to ache so she changed hands. ‘Give it to me,’ said Luke.

Sam handed the compact over. ‘How far will this light travel?’ she asked, as she watched the rays bounce off the mirror.

‘We’ve got to hope it’s far enough.’

Over the next hour they took it in turns with the mirror and between their ‘shifts’ they dozed. Sam was finding it harder and harder to focus, to think straight, even to keep motivated. She had to force herself to keep turning the mirror when it was her turn with the compact. She had to keep telling herself that this was
not
a waste of time, the helicopter
would
come back… She ignored the voice at the back of her head that kept saying,
What’s the point?

The sun was getting lower, and Sam’s anxiety level was getting higher. She didn’t think they could survive another night without water and the chopper wouldn’t fly after dark. Even if it resumed the search the next day it would be too late for her and Luke, she was sure.

She nudged Luke, who was lying beside her, his eyes shut. ‘Your turn.’ Her voice rasped, barely sounding human.

‘Uh?’ Luke opened his eyes.

She handed him the mirror and he dragged himself into a sitting position.

‘It’s no good,’ he said.

‘Don’t you dare give up on me, Luke Blake,’ she hissed, despite the fact that she felt like she had a razor blade in her throat. ‘We keep going till the sun sets. Understand.’

He nodded. ‘Sorry.’ He began to flick the mirror and Sam slumped, the effort of her outburst depleting her minute reserves still further. She had her arms crossed over her crooked knees and her head bowed. She shut her eyes and thought about Luke and how much she loved him.

And then she heard the pulse again, a low, thwacking beat.

‘Luke?’

‘Shh.’

She looked up. Luke was standing beside her, the mirror above his head, flicking it to and fro for all he was worth and this time the chopper wasn’t stooging along the far side of the river, this time it was heading towards them. This time they’d been seen.

And then it was almost on top of them, the wind from the rotors beat down on them, kicking up dust and debris, forcing them to turn away and shield their eyes.

Luke and Sam still clung to each other in their relief and total joy, neither wanting to let go of the other as the chopper touched down yards away from them.

The big door in the side slid open and the winchman beckoned them over. They didn’t need telling twice and with energy reserves they didn’t know they had they ran across, ducking under the spinning rotors and clambered in. Instantly he passed them bottles of water.

‘I take it you’d like a lift,’ he said.

Sam looked at him, started to cry, and then Luke took her in his arms and held her tight.

‘They’ve found them,’ said Jack.

Immi leapt out of her chair and then instantly regretted it as her bad leg buckled.

‘Hey, steady,’ said Jack, catching her and stopping her from falling.