Soldier's Daughters (19 page)

Thankfully, after a while, the conversation became general across the room as all the men began to talk about the upcoming brigade exercise in Kenya, which was taking place in the New Year. The fact that Michelle, stuck in a training regiment and thus not involved at all, wasn’t joining in the conversation became excusable. However, neither was Maddy, and Maddy, being an excellent hostess and not wanting to see one of her guests being ignored, started to chat to Michelle.

The look on Michelle’s face said it all; her misery at discovering the truth about her boyfriend was being made a million times worse by having to be nice to his wife. Sam didn’t think things could be any more agonising for Michelle if someone had been dripping acid into an open wound. Sam dragged herself away from the more interesting talk about Kenya and launched herself into one about more domestic things, hoping to draw fire, as it were.

‘But when’s your baby due?’ Sam asked Maddy. Michelle lapsed again into morose silence. If she looked sulky and anti-social, and the other guests thought she was a bit of a wet blanket, then tough shit, thought Sam a little harshly. Better that than she should suddenly burst into tears.

‘Right at the beginning of March,’ said Maddy.

‘But won’t Seb be out in Kenya?’

‘No, he’s on the advance party going out at the start of January so he should be first back as well. He should make it home in time – assuming that both the army and the baby keep to schedule.’

‘You must be excited,’ said Sam.

‘Less so the second time around. You know what’s in store.’

‘And poor Maddy has suffered awfully from morning sickness,’ interjected Susie. There had been a distinct shift in the dynamics of the room as the women left the men to talk about army stuff and the wives began to group together to talk about more domestic issues. And while Sam would have liked to have joined in with the army chat, keeping Michelle away from Seb was now her priority, so domesticity ruled. ‘Poor girl, it wouldn’t have been so bad if it had just been mornings but she’s been a martyr to it all day.’

‘Poor you,’ said Michelle, but Sam could tell that she didn’t really care. What was morning sickness when you were dying of a broken heart?

‘It hasn’t helped that Seb’s been up to his eyes in some new rowing training initiative,’ said Maddy. ‘He’s had to give up a lot of weekends recently – almost every last one.’

Sam glanced in Michelle’s direction and saw her face flush.

‘Not that I mind terribly,’ continued Maddy. ‘Sometimes it’s easier when it’s just me and Nathan.’

‘Well, isn’t that handy,’ said Michelle under her breath.

Sam shot her a warning look and Michelle answered it with a hint of a shrug. Sam was thankful that, because Michelle was going to be driving back to her own unit later that day, she’d had to stay sober. What she might have said or done if she’d been the worse for drink didn’t bear thinking about.

‘Rowing’s becoming very popular these days, isn’t it?’ said Susie. ‘Very fashionable, like cycling. Everyone seems to be at it. Have you ever rowed, Michelle?’

Michelle looked at Seb and swallowed. Sam held her breath. ‘No,’ she said coolly. ‘Never. And I don’t think I want to, regardless of what other people say about it. Can’t think of anything I’d rather do less.’

Sam breathed again.

It was getting on for four in the afternoon by the time the meal came to an end and the coffee had been served and the petits fours scoffed. How could lunch have taken so long? wondered Sam. But finally the party had staggered to an end and Sam, with complete truthfulness, citing the fact the Michelle had a long drive ahead of her, had given them the excuse to make a move. Once they did everyone else decided they ought to be going too. It was almost dark as the two girls walked back towards the mess, followed by James and Will, who were both pretty pissed. Seb might be a bastard but he was a generous one when it came to pouring drink.

‘Wait for us,’ called James, petulantly, but Sam refused, saying that Michelle wanted to get back to her regiment before being posted AWOL on Monday morning, and at the rate the boys were walking, that wasn’t going to happen. She could see that Michelle was only just holding herself together and the sooner they found total privacy the better all round.

When they got back to her room, Sam shut the door firmly and took her friend in her arms. ‘Sweetie, I am so proud of you. You were a star.’

At this point Michelle collapsed into loud sobs. ‘I c-c-c-an’t b-b-believe I d-d-d-didn’t s-s-s-spot the signs,’ she wailed. ‘I sh-sh-should have guessed he was m-m-m-married.’

‘How?’ asked Sam. ‘Men don’t get “unavailable” tattooed on them once they get a wife. Although some should,’ she muttered darkly as an afterthought. ‘Don’t you dare beat yourself up, Michelle Flowers, because he really isn’t worth it. How the hell a bastard like that got a lovely wife like Maddy and a nice girl like you to fall for him, I can’t imagine. Git!’

Michelle slumped onto Sam’s bed, mopping her tear-streaked face. ‘I really, really loved him, Sam. I was fantasising about wedding dresses and everything. When we were going out I used to imagine what it would be like to have Bas to myself; to have him coming home to me every evening, to wake up next to him every morning… I didn’t know he already had a wife who was living my dream.’ Another sob escaped.

Sam knelt down on the floor gave her friend another hug. ‘I know, hon.’ She sighed. ‘But you’re well out of that one. If he’s cheating on his wife, you could never expect him to remain faithful to you.’

‘You don’t know that,’ snuffled Michelle, into Sam’s shoulder.

‘Leopards and spots,’ said Sam, ‘leopards and spots.’

‘No,’ wailed Michelle, ‘it would have been different if I’d been his wife. Maddy obviously doesn’t appreciate him. If she did he wouldn’t have looked for love elsewhere.’

‘You don’t know that,’ said Sam.

‘Yes, I do,’ said Michelle, blowing her nose. ‘It’s the only explanation. He can’t have been happy with her. He can’t have been. Not when we were always so happy together.’

‘But you haven’t know him long,’ protested Sam, trying to get Michelle to see reason.

‘Time isn’t important when you were as in love as we were.’

You were in love, thought Sam. She didn’t think Seb was.

‘I
know
it was love this time. It was so different to when I was at uni.’ Michelle blew her nose again. ‘I don’t know why I thought that what I felt for my tutor was love. I was just naive, I suppose. And to think I wasted all that time over that poxy bloke, thinking I loved him, when I now know what
true
love is like.’ Michelle subsided into more sobs.

Oh, dear God, thought Sam, as she remembered Michelle’s story about the tutor and the near-miss with a restraining order. And then she calmed down. Michelle was four years older and four years wiser, and she was posted across the other side of the country. There was no way she could stalk Seb from that distance. Besides, it wouldn’t take Michelle long to realise that all Seb had been after was some extra shagging while Maddy was pregnant and, according to Susie, being as sick as a dog and probably not up for it very much. So he’d used Michelle as a stop-gap, which made him a complete bastard. As soon as Michelle realised
that
, she’d see sense, understand she’d had a lucky escape, and forget about him. Of course she would.

Seb put down the drying-up cloth. ‘Is that the lot?’ he asked Maddy. Yet again, while his wife was preoccupied with wringing out the dishcloth, he nervously checked his mobile.

Maddy stretched to ease her aching back. ‘It’s enough, isn’t it?’ Behind Seb, on the counter, was a stack of now-clean saucepans and glasses – the stuff that hadn’t fitted in the dishwasher. ‘I’m knackered,’ she said.

‘Not surprised. That was quite a spread you put on.’ Seb took a roll of clingfilm from a drawer and covered the remains of a plate of quiche before shoving it in the fridge. ‘Not much left.’ He rubbed his forehead and then from upstairs came a wail from Nathan.

Maddy sagged. ‘And there was me hoping for a sit-down.’

‘I’ll see to him,’ said Seb. He glanced at the kitchen clock. ‘It’s a bit early for his tea. How about I take him for a nice walk around the block?’

Maddy’s face lit up with a smile. ‘Would you, darling? You’re an angel.’

‘No problem.’

Ten minutes later, Nathan and Seb, both wrapped up warmly against the December elements and Nate tucked into his buggy with the rain hood down, were strolling through the officers’ married patch. There wasn’t a soul around. He took his phone out of his pocket and halted under a streetlamp while he pressed the buttons for Michelle’s number.

‘Where are you?’ he asked without preamble when she picked up.

‘On the M4.’

‘Then you shouldn’t have answered. I don’t want you causing an accident on top of everything else.’

‘Hands-free, Bas. Or maybe I should call you Seb.’

Seb could hear the anger simmering in her voice, despite the background noise from her car and the less-than-perfect connection. Well, he was bloody mad too.

‘What the hell did you think you were playing at?’

He heard Michelle splutter. ‘Me? Maybe if you hadn’t lied to me about your name and the little matter that you had a wife and kid tucked away at home, maybe I wouldn’t have bothered to get involved with you in the first place. You led me on, you really did. And I fell for it, hook, line and fucking sinker. I’m not the one at fault here, Bas… Seb… whatever your name is… it’s you.’ Michelle severed the connection.

Seb walked on a bit further, considering her reaction. Well, of course she was cross – it’d been the shock of the encounter. God, he’d nearly cacked himself when he’d seen her standing there. For a ghastly second he’d thought she’d arrived at his house on spec – to confront him and Maddy, like some awful sort of crazed stalker. But then he’d seen Sam with her and the penny had dropped – in awful cartoon slo-mo: this was Sam’s mate, the one she’d asked Maddy if it would be OK for her bring along as a plus one. And, oh, the irony, that Maddy had said yes.

He pushed the buggy on down the road and wondered how long it would take Michelle to calm down enough to talk rationally. She really did sound pretty pissed off. He thought about what she’d said and the word ‘involved’ leapt to the forefront of his mind. He hadn’t wanted involvement. All he’d wanted was a bit of a fling. Shit, she hadn’t thought their relationship was a serious one, had she? Nah, surely not.

Maybe he’d give it another five minutes, he thought. Let her calm down a bit. He pushed Nathan to the swing park at the far end of the patch and then turned to walk around the block again. On his second lap he pressed the buttons again: straight to voicemail.

He sighed. He wondered how long she was going to sulk for. Seb didn’t know much about women but he’d heard stories of jilted girlfriends and what they got up to. He didn’t want Michelle to start thinking of ways to pay him back. Maybe he should hold out an olive branch.

‘Look, Michelle, maybe I should apologise,’ he said placatingly to the answering service. Shit, the last thing he wanted was for Michelle to start looking for family pets to casserole. Not that they had any but… ‘Look, I am sorry. I was shocked, that’s all. And I am really sorry if you feel hurt, I’m really, really sorry. I thought it was a bit of fun. I thought you felt the same way. I never meant for things to get serious. Honestly.’ That sounded a bit pathetic but what else could he say? He couldn’t think of anything so he finished with ‘Bye’, and rang off. Would that do the trick? God, he hoped so because one thing he had to be sure of was Michelle keeping schtum. And her mate Samantha too, because he’d seen the way Sam had kept staring at Michelle and him and he was pretty certain that she’d twigged what was going on, and even if she hadn’t he would bet a pound to a penny Michelle had put her in the picture as soon as they’d left the house.

Morosely Seb turned the buggy round and began to walk back home. One thing was certain, if he got out of this alive he’d never,
ever
cheat on Maddy again.

A few days later, Sam sat in her office and tapped a pencil on the table. Her resolve to keep right out of the awful Michelle–Seb mess was weakening, and fast. How could she pretend it was nothing to do with her when Michelle was ringing her twice, sometimes three times a day, heartbroken and sobbing and complaining that Seb was now blanking her? Sam was sympathetic, she really was, but things were beyond a joke. She knew by heart the content of that phone call Seb had made to Michelle, because Michelle had gone over and over it with her, analysing every word, every possible nuance, wondering if there was some sub-text she was missing, some hidden message. Sam had tried telling her that Seb had apologised in the hope that Michelle would go away and then he could ignore what he’d done, pretend it had never happened, but Michelle was obviously deaf to such advice. And the more time that passed the more desperate Michelle seemed to be getting, and now Sam was seriously worried that her friend might do something really bonkers, like ring Maddy, or do something even more confrontational. Frankly, given how impetuous Michelle had been in the past, and that business with the threatened restraining order, Sam was getting increasingly concerned about what she might be capable of.

She grabbed her beret and made her way across the workshop floor towards the door.

‘I’m going across to B Company,’ she told Sergeant Armstrong as she passed him. ‘I’ll be about half an hour.’

‘No worries, ma’am,’ he called back to her.

Sam walked across the parade square towards B Company lines, wondering as she went what she was going to say to Seb.

When she reached his office, the door was open. She knocked and instantly crossed the threshold without waiting for Seb to ask her in, then shut the door behind her.

‘Well?’

Seb flushed. ‘Well, what?’

‘You know exactly what I am talking about.’

There was a pause, then in a sullen tone, he said, ‘I don’t have to answer to you.’

Sam raised her eyebrows. ‘No, you don’t. But perhaps you ought to answer to Michelle… or Maddy.’ She took a pace forward and put both her hands on his desk and leaned forward. ‘Have you any idea the state Michelle is in?’ She glared at Seb. ‘No, of course you haven’t because you haven’t spoken to her since Sunday. You haven’t spoken, you haven’t texted her, you’ve just ignored her.’