Soldier of Fortune (16 page)

“Jacob?” she whispered, sitting up, frightened.

“Don’t touch me, baby,” he whispered back, his voice tormented.

She sat there watching him, a little nervous and uncertain. He’d forced that reckless admission from her, and then he’d stopped. Why? What did he want?

Slowly his body relaxed and he sighed wearily. “Oh, God, I never thought I’d be able to stop,” he murmured. “That was as close as I’ve ever come to losing control, except for that time at the
finca.
”

Her wide eyes studied the pale face he turned toward her. “That morning?” she murmured.

He laughed dryly. “That night,” he said. “Gabby, it wasn’t punishment, there at the last. It was loss of control. I very nearly took you.”

Her eyebrows went up. “But you let me think…!”

“I had to,” he said. “I was going out of my mind trying to decide how to handle it. In the beginning, I wanted an affair with you. But I couldn’t seem to get close enough, or make you see me as a man. Then, when we were in Rome, I’d had all I could stand and I forced the issue.” He laughed softly. “My God, it was the end of the rainbow, and I was floating. Until I realized you were a virgin, and I had to rethink it all. I’d decided that I’d have to fire you, and then we went into the jungle and I died a thousand deaths when that terrorist pointed his rifle at you.” He rolled over onto his back and caught her fingers in his, holding them to his mouth feverishly. “That was when I realized what had happened to me. I was like a boy, all raging desire and frustration and fear. I wanted to frighten you off before I was trapped by what I felt for you. Only it backfired. I started to hurt you and went crazy wanting you instead. I can’t wait anymore,” he added with an apologetic smile, “and after a week from Saturday I won’t have to.”

“A week from Saturday?” She frowned.

“There were two reasons I took your Reverend Boone to lunch,” he said. “The first was to discuss some things I had on my conscience. The second was to arrange a wedding.”

She froze; her face was flushed, and her eyes were disbelieving. It was like having every dream she had ever dreamed come true at once.

He sat up, taking both her hands in his. “Gabby, the one thing I can’t do is go on living without you,” he said matter-of-factly.

“But…but you said you didn’t know whether you could settle down.”

He rubbed his thumbs over the backs of her hands and sighed. “Yes, I know. And all the while I was wondering how I’d survive if you refused me. I was trying to get a reaction out of you, to see if I’d frightened you so badly that I’d chased you away.” His face hardened as he stared at her hands. “I told you once that I was used to taking what I wanted. That ended with you. I couldn’t take you. It had to be a mutual wanting.”

“It was,” she breathed softly. “It is. I love you with all my heart.”

He smiled quietly, lifting hungry eyes to hers. “Do you know what I feel for you?”

She lifted her shoulders restlessly. “You want me,” she said with a shaky smile. “Maybe you like me a little.”

His chest rose and fell heavily and his eyes never left hers. “I’ve never said the words and meant them before. It’s harder than I thought.”

She moved close to him and slid her arms under his, pressing her cheek against his broad chest.

His hands hesitated on her back and then slid around her, cherishing, comforting, protective. He sighed, and she felt his breath on her ear.

“I…” He nuzzled his face against her cheek and then her throat. He laid her back on the bed so that he could find her soft breasts and brush them with his lips. His teeth nipped her tenderly, his hands lifted her. With a sound like a rough, low growl, he slid his body alongside hers and kissed her until she moaned and clutched at him.

“I love you,” he breathed fiercely, looming over her. His face was so taut with passion that it would have frightened her once. “Worship you, adore you. I’ll go down into the dark crying your name, wanting your mouth, your voice. Is that enough?”

Tears welled in her eyes. “Oh, yes, it’s enough,” she said unsteadily. “But will I be enough for you?”

“Yes,” he said simply. “You and the children.” He bent to her mouth again. “Reverend Boone said you hadn’t joined the church. I thought we’d do it together. The kids are going to need a good foundation to build on, aren’t they?”

She hid her face against his throat. “I’ll like having your babies,” she whispered.

He trembled convulsively. “Say things like that to me, and you’ll find yourself wearing scarlet at the wedding. Hush!”

She managed to laugh. “You taught me how.”

“That isn’t all I’ll teach you. But not now.” He rolled away from her and got to his feet reluctantly, stretching as if his muscles were in torment.

She propped herself on an elbow and smiled at him wistfully. “You’ve got to be the sexiest man alive,” she murmured. “I used to stare at you in the office and wonder what you looked like without your shirt…”

“Gabby,” he said in a mock threatening tone.

She arched her body softly, wanting him, loving him, loving the way his eyes followed her movement with such obvious hunger.

“Jacob,” she whispered, lying back so that the blouse slid away from her body and he could see every soft curve.

His chest rose and fell sharply. He seemed a little unsteady on his feet.

She loved that vulnerability. She’d never realized before just how much power she had over him, and it was a heady knowledge. With a small, triumphant smile, she held out her arms to him.

“I can’t, honey,” he whispered. “If I come back down there, I’ll take you.”

Her body tingled with the very thought of how it would be. She could already picture them, his hair-darkened body crushing her bare pink one down into the mattress, his voice whispering those wildly exciting things while she moaned and wept….

He reached down, and she arched toward him. And all at once, before she realized what was going on, she was out of the bed, being buttoned back into her blouse.

“And don’t try that again,” he murmured with a wicked smile. “Hussy.”

“But…”

“When we’re married,” he said firmly, kissing her mouth. “Now let’s go look at houses. I drove by two yesterday that looked promising. How do you feel about living on the lake?”

She slid her hand into his as they walked into the living room. “I’ll like living anywhere with you,” she said with feeling. “I imagine just watching television is going to be an adventure from now on.”

He chuckled softly as he opened the door, his eyes narrowing. “You can’t imagine the plans I have for the symphony concerts on the educational channel,” he remarked with a wicked smile.

She went ahead of him out the door. “Oh, I think I might have some vague idea,” she said musingly, glancing over her shoulder. “By the way, what did you do with the crossbow?”

“What crossbow?” he asked grinning.

She sighed and leaned her head against his shoulder for an instant. “Do you reckon First Shirt would give me away if we asked him?”

“I imagine he’d be pretty flattered,” he said. “Want to invite the rest of the gang, too?”

“Could we?”

“Sure,” he told her. He smiled as they got into the elevator. “Don’t look so worried. I won’t try to leave with them, I promise.”

“No regrets?” she asked softly.

His eyes were wistful for a moment before he sighed and drew her into his arms. “Only,” he whispered, bending, “that I waited so long to tell you how I felt.”

“So long?”

“Gabby,” he said against her mouth, “I fell in love with you two years ago.”

She started to speak, but he was kissing her, and the wildness of it made her question go right out of her head.

“You never said anything,” she murmured eventually.

“I couldn’t,” he returned. “You were so young. I felt guilty for wanting you the way I did. But you dated, you seemed so sophisticated sometimes.” He touched her hair gently. “I had too many doubts about being able to settle down to make a heavy pass at you. Too, I was afraid you might quit, and I wasn’t sure I could stand that.” He shrugged his broad shoulders. “It wasn’t until that day in the jungle that I knew how much I cared. I spent a miserable weekend trying to convince myself that I could go back to what I was and not miss you. I failed. After that, it was a matter of trying to convince you that I wouldn’t be brutal again. You can’t imagine how it hurt, when you cringed away from me…”

But she could. The anguish was in his face. She reached up and kissed his closed eyes gently, tenderly. “It wasn’t so much a physical fear,” she confessed, “as an emotional one. I was afraid you only wanted an affair. And that you’d walk away.” She laughed bitterly. “I knew I couldn’t survive that. I loved you too much.”

“We won’t be apart again,” he said quietly. “Not ever. Even when you have the children, I’ll be with you every step of the way.”

Tears misted her eyes. “I’ll like that.”

* * *

Six days later, there was a quiet ceremony in the Methodist church. Gabby, in a street-length white silk dress, walked slowly down the aisle on the arm of a wiry little man in a new gray suit, who looked even more out of place than the other people in the church. A tall black man standing beside J.D. was tugging uncomfortably at his tight collar and tie, and several other awkward-looking men were sitting in the front pew. Gabby noticed Richard Dice and two assistants who worked in her building casting strange glances at the assembly. Her mother seemed equally perplexed.

Gabby just grinned and walked on, feeling proud and happy as J.D. grinned at her from where he stood near the altar.

It was a brief but solemn ceremony, and at its end, after Gabby had enthusiastically kissed her new husband, she threw her arms around Matthew and hugged him.

“Thank you,” she told him with a beaming smile.

First Shirt looked faintly embarrassed. “I enjoyed it. Uh, Gabby, your mother’s giving us a strange look.”

“Mother’s always been strange, Matthew,” she informed him. “I’ll show you. Mother, come meet Matthew,” she called while J.D.’s partner, Richard, congratulated him and bent to kiss Gabby’s cheek.

“All the best, Gabby, J.D.,” Richard said with a grin. “What a shock, to be invited to your wedding. Especially after all that’s happened the past week.”

“The road to love is rocky,” Gabby grinned at him. “As you’ll discover someday.”

“Not me,” Richard retorted. “I run too fast!”

“That’s what I thought,” J.D. murmured with a wicked glance toward Gabby. She stuck out her tongue at him, and went to drag her mother away from the assistants.

Mrs. Darwin, resplendent in a white linen suit and a hat that looked three sizes too big, followed her daughter slowly. She looked as out of place as Matthew and Apollo and the rest.

“I hate dressing up,” she muttered, casting a curious eye at Matthew. “Give me my jeans anytime.”

“I hear you shoot and cuss and ride,” Matthew told her, pursing his lips.

Mrs. Darwin actually blushed. She lowered her eyes and grinned. “Well, a little, Mr…?”

“Matthew,” came the reply. “Matthew Carver. Archer’s…I mean, J.D.’s like a son to me.” He held out his hand, took hers, and lifted it to his lips. “What a lovely mother-in-law he’s getting,” he murmured.

Gabby left her blushing mother and went to greet Apollo, Semson, Laremos and Drago.

“Hi, guys,” she said, grinning at them.

“Hey, Gabby,” Apollo greeted her. “Good thing you know the ropes—we won’t have to run you through the training course or anything.”

“Now, just hold on,” she informed him. “I am going on a honeymoon. My adventuring days are over. I can just see me, pregnant and crawling through underbrush with a rifle…”

“Oh, we’d carry it for you, Gabby,” he said, all seriousness.

“How gentlemanly!” She laughed.

“Unspeakable ruffian,” Laremos said with a mock frown as he stepped forward to kiss Gabby’s hand. “Congratulations. And of course you will not be crawling through the jungle.” He grinned. “We will carry you.”

Semson and Drago added their comments, and Gabby clutched J.D.’s arm, all but collapsing with laughter.

A strange man stood up farther down the pew and walked closer as the other guests paused on their way out to congratulate Gabby and J.D. He was the last. Tall, blond and heavily muscled, he had a face as rugged as Jacob’s and a tan that emphasized his sun-bleached hair.

He had brown eyes, and they studied Gabby for a long moment before he spoke. He was wearing a tan suit that looked as new as those J.D.’s men friends had on, and there was something familiar about the way he shook hands with J.D.

“I thought you hated weddings,” J.D. remarked with a cool smile.

“I do. I just wanted to see who caught you.” He pursed his lips and narrowed one eye, looking Gabby over in a way that made her nervous. Finally, one corner of his mouth tugged up a little and he gave a short laugh. “Well, if she can shoot and doesn’t start screaming at gunfire, I guess she’s okay.”

“Okay?” she returned with a cold stare. “I’ll have you know I’m terrific. I can even hit what I aim at.”

The laugh mellowed a little and his dark eyes twinkled. “Can you?” He held out his hand. “I’m Dutch.”

Her eyes widened. She remembered that he’d met J.D. in Rome and was the intelligence-gathering logistics man for the team.

“Well, miracles never cease,” she murmured. “I thought you’d be bowlegged and chew tobacco.”

Dutch burst out laughing. Impulsively, he drew her into a friendly embrace and hugged her. “Oh, J.D., you lucky son of a…”

“Dutch!” First Shirt burst out, interrupting him. “Where did you come from?”

“The Middle East,” came the reply. “I need a few grunts. Interested?”

“Maybe,” Matthew said. He glanced at the others. “Let’s go talk. J.D., take care of her. And yourself.” He clasped hands with the younger man. “I’ll be in touch.”

Gabby hugged him. “Thanks for giving me away. Let me know where you’ll be at Christmas. I’ll send you a box of thick socks.”

Matthew kissed her forehead. “I’ll do that.” He leaned toward her ear. “Write down your mama’s address for me, too,” he added in a whisper. “I like a lady who can shoot and cuss.”