Soldier at the Door (18 page)

Now Zenos had Peto lying in his lap doing something called “
eentsy weensy beetle” up his body and tickling him under his chin. Then he lifted Peto and impulsively gave him a kiss.

Mahrree smiled. No matter what Perrin insisted, Zenos
was
sweet.

And
adorable.

Mahrree and Perrin exchanged the same look. Then they shrugged at each other. Then they gave each other an it-couldn’t-hurt-to-ask look.

“Private,” Mahrree began slowly, “what I am about to ask, I say as a friend, not as the wife of your captain.” She glanced back to Perrin who nodded. “Would you ever consider, as a
friend,
you see, when you have free time, maybe coming over here and . . .” She couldn’t get the rest of the words out.

Zenos squinted. “Stay with your children? Let you get away a little bit? ‘See the world,’ as that lady in silk said to you? Yes, ma’am, I was waiting and listening in the bushes for a time,” he e
xplained to Mahrree’s questioning expression.

Mahrree turned to her husband. “Why did you name that dog Barker when he never barks? Not even when someone’s hiding in our bushes?!”

Perrin merely rolled his eyes at her as tried to get his daughter’s arm into the sleeve of her sleeping gown. The dog was staying, as ineffective as he was.

Zenos chuckled. “I’d be honored to watch your children, Mrs. Shin.”

“Really?” Mahrree sat down. “You’re an unusual young man, Private Zenos.”

“You better just call me Shem, ma’am. That’s the custom where I come from. Especially if I get to care for your children.” Then he turned to Peto. “Did you hear that? I get to come play with you!”

Peto giggled and clawed at his face. Zenos didn’t even flinch.

But his commander stared in wonder.

Somewhere in the forest, Perrin thought to himself, a mountain lion just rolled over in submission. That was the kind of influence that boy had. It wasn’t his words so much as it was his manner, his
being
. And he didn’t even realize it.

Mahrree shook her head. “I mean, it’s a little odd, I know, as
king a soldier.”

“Nothing odd about it, ma’am. So, when do you want me to come over? I have it in pretty good with the captain, and can prob
ably get him change my duty shifts,” Zenos said soberly, but the corner of his mouth tugged upwards.

A bear would have sat down on
its haunches, Perrin mused, fascinated by the boy’s sincere exuberance.

“Private Zenos, I’d like you here on duty day after tomorrow, after midday meal,” he ordered with a wink. “These children should be ready for a nap then.”

“So soon?” Mahrree asked in a panic.

“Well when were you thinking? That’s my first day off.”

“I was thinking much later, like when Peto—”

“—is five years old?” Perrin interrupted.

“Yes!” Mahrree agreed.

Perrin shook his head and worked Jaytsy’s second arm into a sleeve. “Peto likes to drink from a mug and eats
tolerably
well. He’ll be fine. I think we really need to get out,” he said steadily. “Private Zenos, in two days?”

“Sir, I can only do that if you’ll please call me Shem when I’m in your home. That just seems right,” he said carefully, almost sweetly.

Lambs would’ve followed him anywhere.

His captain smiled at him. “All right,
Shem
.”

Mahrree looked at Zenos thoughtfully. “Perrin, I know what this young man needs—he needs a wife! He’d be a wonderful father. Do you think we can help him?”

Perrin laughed at Zenos’s disturbed expression.

“Mrs. Shin, I’m afraid I’m not here to find a wife. I came here to serve your husband. I’m not the marrying type. Yet.”

“I spoke those words once before, too,” Perrin said kindly. “Only days after I arrived here. I changed my mind. You might, too.”

The private paused before saying intently, “Perhaps someday, sir. But right now my obligation is only to you and your family, until I’m released from this duty.”

Perrin stopped trying to button Jaytsy’s sleeping gown, since she had gone uncooperatively limp over them, and asked, “What do you mean, ‘released from this duty’?”

Zenos hesitated. “Why, released from watching over your chi
ldren. When they’re grown, I guess then I’ll have to get some of my own, sir.” He grinned broadly, and somewhere a garden of flowers unexpectedly bloomed in the night.

Perrin shook his head slowly. “Shem Zenos, you
are
an unusual young man. I need to keep an eye on you.”

“Sir, I certainly hope you will.”

It wasn’t until Zenos was replacing his cap and heading out the door, after involving Jaytsy in an introductory game of Tie up Your Uncle, that Perrin remembered. “Private, why did you come here tonight anyway?”

Zenos stepped back into the house and noiselessly closed the door behind him. He glanced towards Jaytsy’s room where Mahrree had just taken the children after Peto’s bath. When he was assured all was secure he spoke. “You wanted to know when my Guarder co
ntact finally returned. He’s back, hiding in the forest. I spoke with him then came straight over here.”

“Zenos!” the captain snapped. “Why’d you wait so long to tell me?”

“I’m sorry, sir,” Zenos winced. “He left quickly back up into the woods. I couldn’t imagine that we’d see in what direction, especially after dark. I thought at first not even telling you until morning. I realize now I should have acted more hastily in speaking up. I actually forgot, sir, with the children and all.” He bit his lower lip. “I
am
sorry.”

Perrin sighed. “It’s all right. I need to develop protocols for such scenarios. The Guarder, I mean, not the children.” He gave him a forgiving smile. “The army has never encountered a situation like this before. So, are our suspicions correct?”

Zenos nodded. “Yes, he claims he’s a spy, but he wants out. He says he’s been in new training for the past few weeks. They’re trying to teach them to lie without blinking, but he doesn’t understand why. Nor would he tell me where this training is occurring. I think we need to treat him carefully. He started getting edgy when I was asking him questions, and he says they’re watching him.”

“A half-hearted defecting spy,” the captain shook his head. “We’ll see what we can do with him. Keep feeding him and getting him to talk. Did he tell you anything we should be watching for?”

Zenos’s expression turned pained, as if he’d been told to kiss a pimply cousin. He’d been dreading this moment, and, when Perrin heard the report, understood why the young soldier was initially hesitant.

“He said the woods were quiet tonight, but he has ‘existed’ in them for only moments. The forest is not ‘speaking’ to him right now, but it has been ‘singing’, so he promised to listen to it.”

Captain Shin didn’t respond to the odd message—he’d heard weirder from soldiers sogged by a bad batch of illegally brewed barrack mead—but instead stared at the ground, deep in thought. “I’m sure there’s a pattern in the chaos of his scared mind. We may find all we need in there if we can just organize it into something we can understand . . .”

He pulled out of his contemplation and looked decisively at Zenos who still wore an apologetic wince.

“Tomorrow morning have Karna block out some time from my schedule. The three of us are going to plot how to work this Guarder. We’ll also draft some guidelines on how to treat spies and send it to the High General and his advisors. We’re going to need their approval. Thank you, Zenos,” he said, returning the private’s salute.

Then he gripped the soldier’s shoulder and smiled. “And I e
xpect you on these steps again, out of uniform, in two days’ time, Shem.”

---

That night Perrin lay in bed, worrying.

Why was it that when Zenos was around, Perrin felt completely at ease with him, but when he left, Perrin found his thoughts full of cold, dark doubts?

Can he really be trusted?

Those words would come to his mind in solitary moments, which struck Perrin as odd. He believed he was a good judge of character. Whenever he met someone that didn’t
feel
right, a tightness in his chest warned,
Keep an eye out for this one
. And he was never wrong.

But he never felt that way about Shem Zenos when he was around.

And so now you’re leaving your children with him? Your most prized possessions? Your own lambs?

It was only at times like this, usually in the dark, when a col
dness whispered in his mind
,
The boy doesn’t deserve your trust
.

Perrin didn’t get it. That wasn’t the way he usually felt the Cre
ator’s promptings.

He rubbed his forehead and stared at the timbers
criss-crossing the dark ceiling, trying to deduce what Zenos may have done to trip this trap of worry in his mind.

Nothing came.

You’re the bear he’s tamed. Now consider—why would mountain lions roll over in submission to him?

Not even Hogal picked up anything unworthy about the boy. Perrin had made a point of inviting Zenos to Holy Day services, and to his surprise, the young man was eager to go. No one else from the fort ever went to listen to Rector Densal, but Zenos did, with rapt attention.

After the first meeting Perrin introduced Zenos to his great uncle, and then he watched Hogal as the two of them chatted. No one was a greater judge of character than Hogal Densal, and later he pulled Perrin aside during the congregational midday meal.

“Excellent young man there, Perrin! I see wonderful things in his eyes.”

“Really?” Perrin was surprised, and relieved. Already he had been taken by the boy, but he wanted a reason—and at the same time
didn’t
—to be suspicious of him. “The name hasn’t struck you as interesting?”

Hogal shrugged. “Haven’t heard it come up, but I’ll do a bit of asking around if you’d like.”

That was exactly what Perrin had wanted. The rectors throughout the world had their own communication system, quietly outside of the forts and law enforcers. Few people besides the rectors and their wives knew about that, and Perrin was one of those few. He understood that not every missing wife wanted to be found, not all runaway children should be returned to their parents, and some young men weren’t really out simply to “explore the world.”

But apparently Shem Zenos was. No one yet had sent word to Hogal that Zenos was wanted elsewhere.

So Perrin had allowed himself to be won over by the perennially cheerful, astute, and charismatic young man. Zenos never let him down.

So why the worry?

He cleared his throat loudly next to his wife dozing next to him, and Mahrree automatically mumbled, “Peto’s crying?”

“No, but I’m glad you’re awake. I’ve been thinking . . . about Zenos watching our children.”

She chuckled groggily. “I can’t believe he agreed to that. In a way, I wish we could spy on him the entire time to see how well he does.”

“That’s not a bad idea,” he nodded in the dark. His spy glass at the fort could come in handy.

“Perrin,” Mahrree said, now more awake and with an earnestness in her voice. “Can I say something about the private?”

Perrin tensed next to her. Here it comes. She could evaluate character as well.

“You may not like what I have to say, but I just can’t keep it in any longer.”

He nodded again, even though he knew she couldn’t see him. He needed to hear it from someone else, and not
only from that unfamiliar voice in his mind. He needed confirmation that he should be suspicious, that Shem Zenos—

“Here it is,” Mahrree announced. “While I was watching him with Peto, I couldn’t help but think, ‘Shem Zenos is THE most ado
rable soldier I’ve ever seen!”

She giggled as Perrin groaned. That wasn’t exactly what he was expecting.

Then again, as he continued to pretend he was annoyed with her evaluation, he realized that
was exactly
he was hoping to hear: Mahrree liked Shem Zenos, too.

“I still think we should find him a girl,” Mahrree decided. “Some of my former students are his age. One of them might be a good match. I know—Teeria!”

Perrin cringed. “The giggler?”

“No,” Mahrree said. “That’s Sareen.”

“So the hair-tosser, then.”

Mahrree sighed in exasperation. “I told you—
Hitty’s visiting her grandmother for a few seasons.”

It wasn’t as if keeping up with the comings and goings of tee
nage girls was the biggest priority in his life. “So . . . the smart one?”

“Yes! Shem strikes me as the kind of boy that would appreciate a thoughtful girl like Teeria.”

Perrin pursed his lips. “She’s rather
calm
, though.” That was a nice way of saying dull, sober, and as vibrant as a rotting cabbage.