Sold Out (8 page)

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Authors: Melody Carlson

BOOK: Sold Out
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Ten
Friday, May 23

It’s prom night. Big deal. Okay, I know it’s supposed to be important, but I’d just like to know why? Why do people want to spend lots of money to dress up in stupid outfits that they’ll be embarrassed to admit they ever wore in few years? Or go to some overpriced restaurant where they pretend to have manners (or not), then briefly dance to a second-rate band before they start slipping out to get drunk or high or mess around and hopefully not end up pregnant?

All right, I know I must sound like Miss Sour Grapes, but really I couldn’t care less about the prom. But to Laura, and half the kids at school, it’s like they’re planning some big trip to Paris or their weddings. I just wish everyone would come back to earth. Maybe it’ll all blow over by next week, when it’s nothing more than a memory. Although I’m sure Allie and I will have to hear all the details of Laura’s big night with Ryan first.

Allie is spending the night tonight. She’s actually a little bummed that she didn’t get invited to the prom. Give me a break. But I’m pretending to care, well, sort of. Mostly I’m trying to
distract her from feeling too sorry for herself and thinking she needs to find a boyfriend. Anyway, it’s really late and she actually fell asleep, which is pretty weird since she’s normally the hyped-up one and I’m usually the one who drops first. But then, she said she had to get up early this morning to help with Davie when he woke up with a nightmare. So I guess the poor girl’s zonked.

As I’m sitting here thinking how stupid the prom is, I am suddenly so thankful that school’s going to be out in only two weeks. I’m sick of it. Really. Oh, I know some great things are happening—and that’s cool. Lots of kids have come to God in the past several weeks, and the climate there is definitely improving. But I’m just tired of the same old grind. I’m ready for a break, and I am really looking forward to having more free time to work on music.

I just hope Laura and Allie will cooperate. Laura’s talking about working more hours at the vet clinic, and tonight Allie said she’s going to get a job somewhere—anywhere—even at McDonald’s if she has to. McDonald’s? I think she’s losing it. But she says if she gets a “real” job her mom can’t force her to babysit Davie all summer.

Hey, I’d much rather babysit Davie than sling greasy hamburgers all day long. And I realize it’s
not because he has Down’s syndrome that she’s saying this. I know how she just doesn’t like being stuck in the apartment so much. And after all, it’s her life. I just wish there was a way we could somehow make enough money playing music so that neither of them would have to work at all. We could just spend our time practicing. So cool.

But the reason I’m writing at one in the morning is to report on what’s happened this week. It’s actually been quite interesting. I’ll start with Marissa, that amazing and disappearing kleptomaniac.

On Thursday, after we’ve almost decided that she’s moved to another planet, Allie and I spot her, and she’s sitting at our old table. We were about to join Laura and her friends but decide we better not miss this opportunity.

“Marissa’s over there,” I whisper in Laura’s ear.

Her eyebrows shoot up, and the next thing I know she picks up her tray. “Let’s join her.”

So the three of us head over to where Marissa is sitting with Jake and Cesar. Spencer’s been kind of out of it lately—keeping his distance. I think he blames us that Jake is suddenly not so interested in smoking dope with him. But then Jake is really trying to sort out his life right now, and Cesar has really stuck by him this week. Cesar is such a cool guy and a loyal friend too.

He’s even letting Jake stay at his house for a while until Jake figures stuff out. It’s hearing this kind of crud about families (like Jake’ s) that suddenly makes me appreciate my parents a whole lot more. Oh, sure they have their problems and they’re a little checked-out and slightly self-absorbed sometimes, but compared to some they’re pretty great. Okay, back to Marissa.

“Hi, Marissa,” says Laura, as if everything’s peachy. “Where you been?”

“Around.” Marissa intently studies her french fries as she squeezes ketchup all over them like she’s creating modern art.

We sit down and I can tell the guys are waiting for something exciting to happen. Without knowing all the details, they both know something’s up between her and us.

“So, been to the mall lately?” asks Allie in a light tone.

Without looking up, Marissa just shrugs and selects a long fry.

Now, I’m trying to think of something to say that will cut through this ridiculous game playing but am basically coming up empty.

“Marissa…” Laura begins in a gentle voice. “We’re—uh—wondering about something.” She pauses to glance at the guys. “But maybe you’d rather talk about this privately.”

Marissa just shrugs again. “I don’t care.”

“Okay, then,” Laura continues more firmly. “We’re pretty confused about what you did to us at the mall last week.”

Allie rolls her eyes. “That’s putting it mildly.”

Marissa then looks up at Allie. “Hey, I didn’t mean for that to happen.”

Allie laughs, but it’s her hooting laugh, the one that’s saturated in sarcasm. “Oh, yeah! I suppose you accidentally stuffed all those stupid scarves into our bags, right?”

Marissa looks from Allie to Laura. “It was supposed to be a joke.”

“A joke?” Allie slaps the table. “And a pretty funny one too.”

“Allie.” Laura tosses her a look. “Marissa, do you have any idea what kind of trouble you—”

“Look, I’m sorry, okay? It was really stupid. Honestly, I didn’t think we’d get caught. I was going to wait until we were all outside, out in the parking lot, and then I was going to—”

“But you just took off!” I’m no longer able to contain myself. “You didn’t even stick around to explain what the—”

“I know. I know.” Marissa looks up now with what appear to be real tears in her eyes. “It was wrong, okay? I didn’t mean for it to go like that. I was trying to be funny. But you guys just don’t understand.”

“We don’t understand?” Allie sounds seriously fried now. “Marissa, I’d already told you I have a history—like what did you think—?”

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Okay? Crud, what more can I say?” She pushes her tray away, puts her head down on the table, and really starts crying.

Okay, now I’m starting to feel pretty bad. I mean, here we’d talked about all this forgiveness, the thief on the cross, and we’ve suddenly turned into the Spanish Inquisition.

Fortunately, this is when Laura reaches over and puts a hand on Marissa’s arm. “Well, God was watching out for us because we didn’t get into trouble.”

Marissa looks up. She has two dark streaks of mascara and eyeliner running down her face. “You didn’t?”

“The clerk finally told the police that you were the one she’d seen, and it was all on the video cam as proof.”

I glance over to see how Jake and Cesar are taking all this. Do they think we’re nuts? But they’re both just quietly eating their lunch and listening, it seems, with real interest.

At first Marissa looks somewhat relieved at Laura’s news, but then she gets this slightly horrified expression. “You mean I’m on the video cam?”

“That’s right,” says Al, and I think she’s
enjoying this moment a little too much. “So they let us go.”

“I’m glad they let you go.” Marissa sniffs, then wipes her nose on a stiff paper napkin.

“They asked us your name,” continues Laura in an even voice.

“Did you tell them?”

“Just your first name,” I offer. “None of us even know your last name.”

Marissa sighs. “It’s Malone. You might as well know. Marissa Anne Malone.”

“So we can turn you in?” asks Allie, but there’s no more smugness in her voice.

“Whatever.” Marissa wads the napkin into a tight little ball. “I don’t really care anyway.”

“You want to get caught?” Now Allie leans forward with fresh interest. “What? Are you nuts?”

Marissa shrugs. “Yeah, maybe.” Then she looks evenly at us. “You may as well know—my dad’s a cop. And if I get caught, he’ll throw a total fit.”

“Your dad’s a cop?” Allie’s eyes are practically bugging out of her head now. “And you want to get caught? Man, you are crazy!”

Now Marissa gets this tough look on her face-it’s an expression I can personally relate to because I’ve worn it so many times myself. “Look, you guys,” she says. “I’m really sorry about that whole scene. It was totally, totally moronic. I wish I’d never done it, okay? But that’s who I am,
understand? I do stupid stuff without thinking. You should all just stay away from me. I’m bad news, okay?”

“Hey,” I begin. “We’ve all made mistakes here. Sometimes we’ve even made them on purpose. But usually there’s a reason. When you did that to us, it felt like you were really trying to get us. It hurt.”

“I wasn’t trying to hurt you. Honest. I guess I was just trying to get your attention, hoping you’d think I was funny.” She pauses now, as if she’s thinking. “Or maybe I was trying to get my dad’s attention. I don’t know. Ever since he and my mom split up, it’s like I don’t exist anymore. He’s too busy with his new life now.”

“Hey, I know how that feels,” says Allie. “My dad’s like totally checked out on us.”

Marissa looks at Allie now. “Really?”

Just then the warning bell rings.

“Well, before we split up,” says Laura quickly. “You need to know something else.”

Now Marissa looks as if she’s ready to cry again. “What?”

“We all forgive you.”

“Yeah,” says Allie, sounding sincere. “No hard feelings.”

“That’s right,” I add. “But for your sake, we really hope you don’t ever do something like that again.”

She sighs. “I wish I could promise that I won’t. But like I said, I’m known for doing stupid stuff without thinking. My mom says I’m too impulsive.” Then she studies us for a few seconds. “Thanks for being so nice, you guys. I know I don’t deserve this.” Then she stands and leaves.

“That was pretty cool,” says Cesar as he picks up his tray.

Jake says nothing, just sits there twisting on his lip ring as if he’s trying to figure us all out. And I admit we are quite an act to take in. Not that we’re acting, I mean. It’s just that I’m sure he thought it was all pretty weird. Maybe we provided a good distraction to his own problems.

Then we all head off to class.

Well, that was yesterday, and I didn’t see Marissa around at all today. I felt bad about that too. I wanted to reassure her that we’re still okay with her. I have a feeling she’s still beating herself up about this whole thing. But maybe that’s good. Maybe she needs to feel bad and really think about what she did and how her impulsive choices can hurt people—including herself. Anyway, I’m really praying for her. And Allie is too. As for Laura, well, I’m pretty sure her head’s in the clouds right now. Hopefully, she had a good time at the prom. As for me, I may go some year—maybe—for now I’d just as soon pass.

BEST DANCE
i’d rather dance with You, God
i’drather sing Your song
i’d rather be Your girl, God
to You, Lord, i belong
You are my first love
i’m nothing without You
my life, my breath, my song, Lord
i’d rather dance with You
cm

Saturday, May 24

To our amazement, Laura actually made it to practice today—on time. We thought she’d be exhausted after her big night out. And in her defense, she hardly spoke of it at all, other than to say she had a great time and that Ryan is totally wonderful. I really respect her for that. Then we got right down to business and practiced until we were all exhausted. But the Memorial Day concert is on Monday, and we want it to be good—really good. This will be the first big thing we’ve done since the Battle of the Bands, and there’ll be no barfing on guitars before performing this time (so Allie assured us).

After we finished, we sat down and prayed together. Now, I’d like to say we do this every time we practice, but the truth is we don’t. And it’s not
as if I’m saying we should, exactly. But it’s sure good when we do. We prayed for the upcoming concert as well as the kids at school who are having troubles (like Marissa and Jake and Spencer) and all the other kids who’ve made, or seem interested in making, commitments to God.

Also, we decided it wouldn’t hurt to make some last-minute posters to place at school to announce the memorial concert. I don’t know why we didn’t think of this sooner since the kids from McFadden (that come to youth group) have been doing this already, and the local Christian radio station has been advertising it too. But it was Allie’s idea, and since she’s the artist, we put her in charge. She’s going to draw up some posters, then ask Greg if we can decorate them during youth group tomorrow. I’m sure he won’t mind.

I’m really looking forward to Monday since my brother Josh and (I think) Caitlin are both coming to hear us perform. It’ll be so cool to see them again. I’m also pretty curious to see how the two of them interact with each other. I haven’t seen them actually together since their breakup last winter. Although Caitlin assured me on the phone this week that they really do speak to each other now. “Just as friends though,” she said, as if to clarify. “That’s what we need to be to each other for the time being.”

“For the time being?” I asked hopefully.

She laughed. “Yeah, I’m sticking to that one-day-at-a-time thing. It’s a lot easier than trying to predict the future.”

“That’s cool.”

Still, if I were to predict the future, I’d guess that those two will eventually end up together, permanently. But I suppose I could be wrong. Nah!

Anyway, this girl-guy talk makes me think of Cesar. I know I haven’t written much about him, or rather my feelings about him, but I have to admit I really think he’s cool. Not just to look at either. But here’s what’s ironic…ever since he invited God into his life, he doesn’t seem nearly as interested in me as he used to be. Before, he would say things, or hint at things, that made me think he liked me—like he wanted to date me. Now he acts more like a brother or just a good buddy. And that’s cool, I guess. But suddenly I’m thinking: I really wish he’d ask me out. Now how weird is that? Maybe I just have spring fever.

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