SOAR (The Indigo Lounge Series Book 4) (6 page)

When
she opened her mouth for the third time, he held his breath.

“Two
coffees and a bottle of water, on the house.” Red set their order down in front
of them.

Noah
nodded thanks without taking his eyes off Leia, who had better manners and
smiled at Red.

“I’ll
leave you two to it, then.”

His
friend retreated and a minute later, he heard the back door close and the
motorcycle she rode gun to life.

“You
have a question, spit it out.”

She
drank half of the water,
then
picked up her cup. Her
eyes caught his as she took a sip. A new tension drifted across her face. He
didn’t need a crystal ball to guess where her thoughts had veered.

They
were alone. In a place with enough surfaces to accommodate any type of fucking
either of them chose to initiate. The thought hadn’t escaped him. And as much
as he’d wanted her to believe that spiel he’d given a moment ago about finding
a willing fuck tonight, there was only one woman his cock was interested in.
And she was sitting less than three feet from him.

She
drank a few more gulps and cleared her throat. “Umm…where…where are you
staying? I mean, where would you like me to send your T-shirt?”

“You
don’t want to know why I’ve moved out of my condo?”

“It’s
really none of my business.”

A hurt-laced dart arrowed between his ribs.
“Right. Of course not.”

She
set the cup down with a thump.

“What
do you want from me, Noah? You told me she had no hold on you. Turns out you
were wrong. She has the
ultimate
hold on you. I’m trying to do the right
thing and all you can do is condemn me for it?”

“The
right thing by whose standards?”

“By
normal human beings’!”

“That’s
just another fucking excuse! People deal with broken relationships and the
fallout from them all the time. So yeah, mine’s fucked up beyond description.
The bottom line is I thought
we
had an understanding. We accept each
other the way we are. The rest is background noise. Or at least it was supposed
to be. You were supposed to take me, just me,
no
one
else. I was supposed to take you
as you were.
I was even prepared to
tolerate Snyder, as long as he stayed out of my fucking way.”

“It’s
not that simple, Noah.”

“Yes.
It. Is.”

“If
you truly believe that, then I’m not sure I even want to contemplate being with
you.”

His
sluggish heart picked up its pace. “Tell me that means you’ve thought about it?
That you haven’t written us off?” The hopeful words spilled out before he could
stop them.

“I
know you think I am, but I’m not a heartless bitch capable of turning my
emotions on and off at will. Everything I felt for you when I woke up on
Saturday morning is still there. But that doesn’t mean I can ignore reality, or
my feelings about what’s happening here.” She paused. “But for the sake of
conversation, if you want to tell me why you’ve moved out, I’d like to know.”

He
forced himself to release his stranglehold on the cup. Her words swirled
through his head and he was sure he was missing something. Something important.
But fuck if he could think straight in the midst of hating himself for wanting
her as much he did, for barely managing to keep seated when he wanted to bend
her over the barstool, bury himself in her wet pussy and let the rest of the
world go to hell. He shook his head and forced sanity back.

“Ashley
needed a place to stay. I gave her the condo.”

Several
emotions flitted across her face. “So you confirmed it? She’s really pregnant
with your baby?” The words were hushed.

“Yes,
she’s pregnant. Whether it’s mine or not is yet to be determined, so you might
want to hold off on the congratulations.”

 
Her eyes darkened, but they stayed on his
long enough for him to determine that the alcohol was wearing off. Long enough
to once again get the sensation that he was missing something when a dart of
pain clouded her eyes, right before she lowered them.

She
drained her cup and set it down in the middle of the table. “Let’s get this
over with. Why did you want to see me?”

“My
PI found out some things yesterday that I thought you should know.”

“
Your
PI
? You mean you still went to the appointment?”

“Once
he called me with the info he found.”

“What
info?”

Noah
thought about how to play this without alarming her. If his PI’s investigation
turned up something other than what Noah suspected, he would’ve alarmed Leia
for nothing.

“Something
we can possibly use to track Willoughby down.” She opened her mouth but he
shook his head. “Before I tell you, I need you to tell me about your
stepfather. Every single thing you can remember from the moment he walked into
your life.”

SIX

The
moment Noah confirmed Ashley’s
pregnancy,
Leia’s heart
had dropped to her stomach and stayed there, a heavy ball of steel that refused
to beat properly. At the mention of her stepfather, her world greyed further.

Stephen
Willoughby was the last person she wanted to talk about. Hell, talking was the
last thing she wanted to do, period. Retreating to the numb cocoon she’d been
in this afternoon was a much more attractive prospect.

“Leia!”

“Do
we have to do this right now?”

“Yes.
The quicker I have all the information I need, the better the PI will be able
to work.”

Right,
he expected her to conduct a rational conversation when she was mentally
gutting herself for wishing his ex out of existence. “You’re forcing me down a
road I really don’t want to go, Noah.”

 
His mouth curved in a parody of a smile.
“It’s a good thing I know you’re made of much tougher stuff than a quick trip
down memory lane. Just give me the bare facts, and you’ll be free to go.”

 
She cleared her throat and wished she
hadn’t finished her coffee so quickly. Her haze hadn’t cleared, but she was
sobering up enough to feel the sharp knife of loss every time she looked at
Noah. To remember that the previous times she’d discussed her father’s death,
her mother’s suicide…her rape, he’d held her, comforted her. He’d made her feel
like she wasn’t alone, that those strong arms and broad shoulders would be hers
to lean on whenever the monsters threatened to suck her under.

Now,
he wanted her to relive the tormenting memories while he stared coldly at her
from across the table. Her heart wrenched and she shook her head. “I can’t,”
she whispered.

“Leia.”

Trembling,
she leaned forward, her every sense straining for the warmth she’d walked away
from. The warmth she would give anything for now. “Please, Noah, the memories
are too painful.”

The
coldness dissipated, and the man she yearned for appeared. “He needs to be
caught. You know that, don’t you?”

She
nodded. “Yes, Noah.”

The
two words made him freeze. Slowly, his face closed up again. “Then try.”

Anguish
biting
deep,
she fell back into her chair.

With
nothing else to focus on in the semi-darkness around them, Noah loomed large,
his domineering presence demanding her attention so effortlessly that her gaze
shifted back to him against her will.

Her
insides twisted as she forced herself to remember.

“My
mom kept horses when I was growing up. We had a ranch in Montana. We’d visit in
summertime. I liked riding, and my mom…she was different there. Happy.” She
curled her fingers around the empty coffee mug and sucked in a sustaining
breath. “After my dad died, she wanted to spend more time in Montana - I don’t
think she could face staying in the same house after he was gone. I was out
there for a couple of weeks, but I had school. So I came back, and she stayed
behind.”

Noah
frowned. “She left to you here to deal with your father’s death on your own?”

She
shrugged. “I think Miami was too much for her, but I wanted to come back. I
felt closer to my dad here. She understood that, just as I understood that she
had to do things her own way. I’d like to say my mom was a strong woman, but
she leaned on my dad even more than I did. Anyway…she stayed in Montana for
three months. When she returned, she was married to Stephen.”

 
He frowned. “So they knew each other for
only a few months before she married him?”

With
each second that passed the memories sobered her up. The raw agony of knowing
her mother had married a rapist, made her fingers clench around the cup.

Gritting
her teeth, she forced herself to reply. “Yes. He bred horses too and owned the
ranch next to ours. To be honest, Noah, I didn’t really care who he was. At the
time he seemed to make my mom happy. When she was happy, she was less
problematic, so I was relieved. Selfish, I know. But that was the way it was.
Did I think he was a gold digger? It crossed my mind once or twice, when the
tension between them started. Some of their fights were about money. But until
what happened… happened—” She swallowed, unable to suppress a shiver. “I
thought he was more of a pervert than anything else.” A sick pervert who would
later rip away her chance to have children…a chance to find happiness with
Noah.

A
rock lodged itself in her throat. She pushed the cup away and grabbed the
water. “Are we done with the questions?”

“Almost.
Did he ever talk about any family or business in Montana?” Noah’s voice was
gruff, but the cold look in his eyes remained.

A
headache began to pound beneath her skull as her mind and soul rebelled at
being forced to relive her bleak past. “He had a distant cousin who showed up
one Christmas, I think. Barry or Gary or something like that.”

Noah
nodded. “Remember anything else?”

One
hand rubbed at her temple. “No. Jesus, what the hell does it matter?”

“Because
you’re most likely not the first person he’s assaulted.”

Her
stomach turned to stone. “What?”

“The
PI is chasing down a few allegations, but he’s been stonewalled a couple of
times.”

“Which
means what, exactly?”

He
shrugged. “It could be nothing, probably a pencil pusher flexing a little
muscle, but my guy thinks someone is being paid to keep certain files from
being opened.”

 
The room spun as she shook her head. “I don’t
understand. Stephen has already been in jail for…attacking me. He has no
reputation to protect. Why would he pay money he probably doesn’t have to keep
his sordid past from coming out?”

“I
didn’t say it was Stephen behind this.”

“You’re
saying someone else is trying to cover this up? Who and why?”

“Someone
who has a lot to lose, I suspect.”

She
clutched the edge of the table. “You’re scaring me. This doesn’t make any
sense.”

His
raw, incisive gaze slid over her face, making her feel every single heartbeat.
He was reading her, gauging her reaction. Latent heat flickered in his eyes,
overlaid with a seriousness that made her nape tingle.

“Your
company’s about to float shares on the stock market in a matter of weeks.”

She
gasped. “You know this, how?”

He
shrugged but the underlying watchfulness didn’t abate. “From experience, I know
how those with huge financial stakes get jittery before a big deal goes live.
Your company is a huge deal. A lot of people will be jittery right about now.”

 
Her heart slammed into her ribs. “What
are you saying?”

“I’m
saying in a little over a month’s time, your company’s going to be worth a
quarter of a billion dollars. I suspect every single member of your board is
living on tenterhooks right about now. Some more than others.”

She
gasped as the penny dropped. “Warren. You mean Warren.”

He
nodded. “Besides you, he has the most to lose if anything goes pear-shaped.”

“And
why would things go pear-shaped? Everything is on track. Once due diligence is
completed next week, the SEC will sign off on the paperwork. And what the hell
does this have to do with my stepfather?” She shook her head. “I know you don’t
like Warren,” she sucked in a deep breath at his raw snarl, “but you don’t know
him, not like I do.”

“Obviously.”

“Noah,
don’t do this. It’s beneath you.”

His
eyes narrowed into cold ice chips. “What the hell do you see in that guy? How
can you not see what I see when he’s around you?”

“Please…”

“Fuck,
Leia. The guy’s a prick with a hard-on pointed at you and your money.”

“Even
if that were true, does that automatically make him a suspect for fraud?
Or accessory to statutory rape?
I’ve known him since I was a
child. He’s never done anything to hurt me.”

His
fist bunched. “Not yet.”

She
lurched to her feet. The sound of the chair scraping the floor filled the
silent restaurant. “What you’re implying is sick, Noah. You have to know that I
won’t accept it without any hard evidence. I just can’t. I’m sorry.” She
brushed away tears she hadn’t known were forming until they dripped down her
cheek.

Noah
stood and leaned over the table toward her. “Tell me you’re not fucking crying
over that asshole?” he snarled.

“Why
does this mean so much to you? We broke up. Shouldn’t you be more concerned
about your relationship with Ashley and your
baby
?” she snapped, her insides twisting all over again at the
reminder.

He
straightened, his nostrils flaring as he glared down at her. “I thought you’d
want to know, seeing as that bastard is still out there with you in his
crosshairs. But all you want to do is to keep burying your head in the sand,
isn’t that right? What? You think ignoring the issue is going to make it
disappear?”

She
brushed at her wet eyes and glared right back. “Believe it or not, I’ve been
thinking about the situation with my stepfather.” Besides losing Noah, her
stepfather’s threat was her greatest nightmare. “The board thinks the best
option is to pay him off.”

“Are
you fucking kidding me?” he growled.

She
raised her chin at his derisive tone. “They think it’s the quickest way to get
rid of him. Information has a way of coming out, as you’ve just proved. If you
know my company is set to float its shares, then most likely so does he.”

“I
seriously doubt that he and I move in the same circles.”

“I
didn’t mean it like that. But assuming he’s found out about the shares, I need
to take action now.”

“So
you’re going to reward a rapist and extortionist with fifty million dollars?
Are you out of your fucking mind?”

“The
alternative is to leave him to flood the
internet
with
humiliating pictures of me, ruining my company’s stock market announcement.”
She trembled at the thought.

“No
fucking way
am
I going to let that happen.”

The
brevity in his voice slammed into her. She closed her eyes and basked in that
protective heat for a second before she dragged herself out of it. When she
opened her eyes, he was staring at her.

She
knew it was foolish to ask, that she was leaving herself wide open for hurt,
but she couldn’t help herself. “Why do you care so much, Noah?”

“Because
I’m finding it damned hard to let go of the fact that you belong to me. And no
one harms what belongs to me.” The censure and icy detachment had drained from
his face. Raw possessiveness, which he’d stamped on her the very first moment
they met, blazed from his eyes.

Her
breath caught. That heavy weight of unhappiness started to lighten as hope
teased her heart. But she knew she was fooling herself.
 

He
grabbed her hand, and the plastic bottle crackled. “You will
not
pay
that asshole off, do you hear me?” he rasped. “I promised I’d handle this for
you and you’re going to let me.”

Temptation
to let him take charge flooded her, but she rejected it.
Stay strong. Stay
strong.
“Don’t tell me what to do.” She tried to snatch her hand away.

His
grip tightened until the pressure stroked the edges of pain. “Did any of what I
just said get through to you at all?” he rasped.

“Nothing
has changed, Noah. Or rather, everything has changed. I thought I was strong
enough to be with you, but I’m not.”

His
brows clamped together. “What the hell does that mean?”

“Don’t
you see? If I don’t leave, all I would be doing is standing in your way.”

“Stop
speaking in fucking parables and tell me straight.”

She
forced the question out. “Did you see yourself one day as a father? Before
Ashley dropped her bombshell?”

Confusion
darkened his eyes. “I guess. Eventually. I’m not fucked up enough to think I
wouldn’t make an okay dad one day.”

Anguish
weakened her limbs. “You would be better than okay.” She stopped and they
stared at each other for an eternity. Then she asked the burning question. “So
you want this baby?”

His
confusion deepened. “If it’s mine, then I don’t have a choice but to
be
its father. It’s not a responsibility I can walk away from.”

“That’s
not what I’m asking. Do you want a baby? Did you ever want a baby, now or in
the future?”

“Yes,
I do. But I still don’t understand—”

“I
have to go, Noah.” She fisted numb fingers.

He
raked a hand through his hair. “Fuck it, Leia. What am I missing here?”