So Inn Love (11 page)

M
y grandfather peered at me through half-awake eyes. My aunt and uncle picked me up at the train station, and I insisted on being taken to the hospital right away. Visiting hours were over by the time we got there, but the nurse said she would let us in anyway, for fifteen minutes.

“If you really want to get out of work, Liza, there are easier ways,” my grandfather said.

I rushed to his side and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. “Grandpa, are you okay?”

“I’m perfectly fine,” he said. “How are you? And what are you doing here?”

“Mom called—I had to see you. She said you’d be all right, but I wanted to see for myself,” I said.

My parents had decided to sit outside in
the waiting room with my aunt and uncle, who’d brought them a late dinner from the outside world.

“They’re keeping me here overnight for observation. Isn’t that ridiculous? What will they learn by
observing
me?”

“That you’re a stubborn old man who hasn’t had a checkup in three years,” my grandmother said. “That’s what.”

My grandfather ignored her. “So. How are things at the Inn?”

“Oh, fine,” I said with a smile.

“Fine? That’s all you’re going to tell me about one of my favorite places in the world?”

“Well…” I hesitated. “I’m not really here to visit and chat, you know. I’m here to see how
you
are!”

“You’ve seen. I’m fine. Now tell me a story to take me away from all this.” He swept out his arms, knocking a plastic water cup off the tray beside his bed.

My grandparents are the ones I confide in most. They don’t tend to overreact the way my parents could. Platinum hair? Jet-black
hair? Belly-button piercing? All fine. Or at least not freakworthy. My parents, on the other hand…They’d only agreed to let me go away for the summer after my grandparents persuaded them to.

Sometimes I know that what I’m telling my grandparents is going to go straight back to Mom and Dad, but there have been enough times when they
haven’t
done that, so I still basically trust them.

Still, was I ready to tell them about Hayden?

“Don’t we have more important things to talk about? Like how you are?” I asked my grandfather.

“That’s boring. Give us something so we can live vicariously. I’m cooped up in this hospital room when I could be at the beach,” Grandpa complained. “What does Bucko have you doing for work? Bill, I mean. Mr. William Talbot Senior, to you.”

“Didn’t Mom tell you? I’m the official Tides Inn gofer.” I explained the various jobs I’d been called on to perform so far.

“Sounds interesting,” my grandmother said.
“And what about your social life? Friends?”

“Everyone’s been nice,” I said.

“And what about Mark?” my grandfather asked.

“Don’t pry,” Grandma said.

“Too late,” Grandpa replied.

“Mark and I? We’re on a break.”

“What does that mean?” Grandma asked.

“It means…I probably have to go talk to him while I’m home. I think I met someone who’s…”

“Perfect for you?”

Was he? I thought about the way Hayden had held and kissed me that night while we waited for the train. “Yeah, maybe,” I said.

“We’ll be the judges of that. What’s his story?” Grandpa asked.

I laughed. “You’re so vague, Grandpa. I never know what you’re getting at.” I rolled my eyes at him.

“Spill,” he said.

Thankfully the nurse came back into the room just then. “It’s really time to go,” she said to me.

“I’ll spill tomorrow,” I promised. “Right now
you get back to sleep—I’ll come by again in the morning.”

I went to find Mark at his uncle’s boat factory at 6:45
A.M
. As I drove there in my mom’s car, I tried not to think about the Inn, but I couldn’t help wondering about everyone there and when they’d be getting up and what they’d be doing today. I’d been home for less than twelve hours, but it felt like the longest night in history. I really missed Claire and Hayden and Miss Crossley.

Just kidding on that last one.

I’d tried calling Hayden to tell him everything was okay, but never reached him on his cell. I hadn’t spoken to anyone back there yet.

Anyway, I figured catching Mark as he got off his work shift was a good idea. He couldn’t avoid me, the way he could if I called ahead. Not that he would, necessarily. But I wasn’t sure.

I was sitting on one of the picnic tables outside the factory when he emerged into the early-morning haze. He seemed a little out of it as he rubbed his eyes and focused.

“Yeah, it’s me,” I said, giving him an awkward little wave.

He said good-bye to his buddies and came over to me.

“Peace offering,” I said as I held out a large cup of Dunkin’ Donuts coffee to him.

“Thanks. I think.”

“I brought doughnuts, too,” I said, pointing to the bag on the table. “And a muffin, and a bagel, and—”

“What are you doing here, Liza?” He narrowed his eyes as he slid onto the bench seat across from me. “After all that, don’t tell me you quit. Did you quit?”

I shook my head. “No. Not a quitter.”

“Right,” he said. “SATs. Volleyball. Et cetera.”

“Right. So how’s your summer been?” I sipped my coffee and reached for the bag to fortify myself with a honey-glazed.

“Are you kidding?” Mark asked.

“No, I’m interested.” I tore off a piece of doughnut and put it into my mouth.

“Well. It’s been fine. I guess. I work. I hang
out. The usual.” He took a blueberry muffin from the bag. Maybe I was here to tell him we were over over, but at least I’d brought his favorite flavor muffin. I wasn’t completely horrible. “You?” he asked. “How’s the summer?”

“Same as yours. Working, hanging out.”

“Is it the dream job you said it was?”

“Yes. And no.” Enough beating around the bush; this was getting ridiculous. “Mark? The reason I came home is that my grandfather had a heart attack.”

“What? No!” Mark gasped.

“Oh, he’s fine. That wasn’t the big news.”

Mark looked sort of like he wanted to hit me with the blueberry muffin.

“I have something to tell you,” I said.

“Yeah, well. Me too,” Mark said.

I was thinking his might not be a compliment, so I decided to forge ahead. “I kind of met someone,” I blurted. “So—”

“Me too,” Mark said, and this sort of sheep-ish smile crept up the corners of his mouth. Then we both laughed. “Some summer, huh?”

“Hey, Hayden. Though you told me not to say that. It’s Liza. Just wanted to let you know everything’s okay. I’ll be back tonight—maybe you could pick me up? If you could call me, that’d be great. Okay, bye!”

This was like the tenth time since I’d been home that I’d called and Hayden’s phone had gone to voice mail. I hadn’t left a message every time—but they were starting to pile up. I could see that if he was already out on the beach, he wouldn’t have his phone. But was he going to be working every second of the day?

If so, I’d have to get a message to him another way. As much as I hated to do it, I called the Inn’s main number.

“Thank you for calling the Tides Inn, my name is Caroline, how may I assist you?”

“Hey, Caroline. It’s Liza,” I said.

“Liza who?” she asked.

“Liza McKenzie, who else?” She really killed me with this snobby attitude of hers. “Caroline, where is everyone?”

“What do you mean?”

“Could you tell Miss Crossley I’ll be back
tonight? I tried to reach her, but all I got was her voice mail,” I explained.

“Oh, well, she’s busy organizing the wedding for next weekend. It’s Zoe’s sister, did you know that?” Caroline asked.

“No. I had no idea,” I said.

“It’s going to be
so
much fun,” she said.

“Great. Look, could you please ask Hayden to pick me up from the train, you know, on the normal shuttle run to the station?” I asked.

“Sure,” she said. “I can do that.”

“Thanks a lot,” I said.

“How’s your grandfather?” Caroline asked, seemingly out of the blue. She’d acted like she didn’t care, until now.

“Fine, thanks,” I said. “He’s checking out of the hospital tomorrow, probably.”

“Oh, good,” she sighed. “He was always so nice to me. Remember how he used to buy us all that saltwater taffy? And the time he and your grandmother took us to Block Island? That was so much fun.”

“Yeah, he’s great,” I said, surprised she remembered and surprised she was being so nice to me for a change. “Hey, thanks a lot,
Caroline. I’ll see you soon, okay?”

“Travel safely,” she said. “Don’t let any weirdoes sit next to you on the train.”

I rolled my eyes. “Okay, Caroline.”

As much as I’d loved seeing everyone at home, I couldn’t wait to get back. I wanted to see the ocean. I wanted to see Hayden.

The train gradually slowed and pulled around the bend, up to the station. I was so anxious to get off of it that I was standing in the doorway with one of the conductors. “You know Hayden?” I asked. “The Tides Inn shuttle driver?”

“I’m sorry?” he said.

“Never mind.” I grinned as I saw the van parked in the passenger pickup area. I couldn’t wait to tell Hayden that I’d cleared things up with Mark, that we weren’t on a temporary summer break anymore—it was permanent. That meant I was really, actually free to date Hayden.

I hopped off the last step onto the platform and walked toward the Tides van. Then I started to run, with a big smile on my face.

And then the driver’s side door opened.

And Miss Crossley stepped out.

“Liza, about time you’re back. We need you desperately. Hop in.”

Funny, that’s what I was hoping Hayden would say.
Liza, about time you’re back. I need you desperately.

I tried to hide my disappointment as I stepped up into the van. “I thought maybe Hayden would pick me up,” I said. “Isn’t he the official shuttle driver?”

“Yes, but he’s busy manning the pool tonight because Lindsay had a family emergency, too, and everything’s just chaos,” Miss Crossley said. She put the van in gear and we pulled away from the station. “Glad everything turned out well at home. Now. About your schedule for the next few days.”

I sank down a little in my seat, rolled down my window, and half-listened to her as I breathed in the not-quite-close-enough-to-the-ocean-yet salt air.

Maybe Hayden couldn’t leave, like Miss Crossley said, I thought. Maybe it wasn’t flat-out rejection.

But that didn’t explain why he hadn’t called me once while I was gone, or returned any of my calls.

What had I done?

Wasn’t our good-bye as romantic as I’d thought it was?

Or had he just been taking pity on me because I was so upset?

I
found Hayden in his room later that night. His roommate, Richard, was there, which made things a little awkward. They were watching a DVD, which they didn’t even pause when I walked in.

“Hey, you’re back.” Hayden glanced over at me. He was lying on his side, on his bed, and he didn’t make a move to get up. I was expecting a big hug, not the cold shoulder. What was going on with him?

I went to sit next to him, pushing him over a little to make room. “Yeah, I got back on the train.”

“So everything’s okay?”

I nodded. “I called you to let you know.”
I didn’t add “several times,” because Richard was sitting there and I was feeling dumb enough already.

“My phone went swimming. Okay, so I went swimming, and it was in my back pocket,” Hayden explained. “Anyway, it’s history.”

“Oh, really?” I said. That seemed like kind of a convenient excuse, but what could I do, disagree with him? I might tease him about it in private, but not in front of his roommate. “So then I asked Caroline to tell you I was coming back, and asked if you could pick me up.”

“Oh, yeah? She didn’t tell me,” Hayden said.

I nodded. “I should have known. She was using her fake voice when I talked to her.”

“Which fake voice? She has a few,” Richard commented.

“Good point.” I smiled at him. Then I looked back at Hayden. “My grandfather’s doing really well. It was great to see him and spend some time talking.”

“Good,” Richard said. “I’m glad he’s okay.”

Was it me, or was Richard more interested
in what had happened than Hayden? What was going on? “Hey,” I said, jiggling his leg. “Are you okay?”

“Oh yeah.” He shifted on the bed. “So did you see what’s-his-name while you were home?”

Was that hurt in his voice? Jealousy? Or just plain annoyance? “I did see him. But not like you might be thinking. We split up, completely. For good,” I said. I spoke softly in case there was any chance of privacy.

“Really.” Hayden raised his eyebrows.

“Yes, really.”
In fact,
I wanted to say,
I told him I might be seeing someone else. But from the way things look right now, I’d say that I got the wrong impression
.

“Oh yeah? Well, cool. Glad you worked things out.” His voice betrayed no emotion at all—not relief, or excitement. Did he really not care at all, or was this just a show in front of his roommate?

“Okay, so…you guys enjoy the movie,” I said as I got to my feet.

“You want to stick around?” Richard
offered. “I could run down to the Hull, make us some popcorn or something.”

I looked at Hayden for my cue. The way things were going a few days ago, I’d have thought: Yes, let’s send Richard out on an errand. That’ll give us time to be alone. But now? The one who needed to leave was
me
.

“No, that’s okay. I have to unpack and things like that. See you, guys,” I said as I walked to the door. I turned around as I closed it and made eye contact with Hayden, who was watching me leave. He made no move to get up. He didn’t even smile at me.

What did I do?
I wanted to scream.

But at the same time, I knew I hadn’t done anything. I knew this was all about him.

Upstairs, I stopped in the hallway outside Room 203. The door was open, and inside, Caroline was sitting at her desk, writing in what looked like a journal.

“What are you writing?” I asked.

She slammed the black book closed with a thud. “Nothing.”

“Relax, I wasn’t going to
read
it.” I couldn’t
imagine a more boring journal than Caroline’s—unless of course she had a secret life. “I have a question to ask you.”

“What’s that?” She picked up a brush and started to nonchalantly brush her hair.

“Why didn’t you give Hayden my message?” I asked.

“Message?” she repeated. She glanced at me in the mirror. “What message?”

“Don’t play dumb. I called you from home—we spoke on the phone. I asked you to tell Hayden to come pick me up at the train. Next thing I know, Miss Crossley is there,” I said.

“I don’t know anything about that,” Caroline said.

“You don’t.” Somehow I found that hard to believe.

“No. Honestly, Liza. I did give him the message. Miss Crossley must have decided she wanted to pick you up herself.”

I stared at her for a minute, trying to remember what little tic she had for when she was lying. When we’d gotten into trouble as kids, she was the smooth talker, the one who
got us out of things.

“But you know, maybe seeing less of Hayden isn’t such a bad idea, if you think about it,” she mused.

Did I really want Caroline’s opinion on this? But somehow I couldn’t resist asking, “Why’s that?”

“Because. How well do you know Hayden—really?” she asked.

Better than I know you now
, I thought. “Is there something I should know? Besides what you already told me?”

She shook her head. “No, never mind. Look, I’m just—you won’t believe me, but I’m trying to look out for you,” she said. “I don’t think there’s anything wrong in being a little cautious when it comes to…you know.”

“What?” I asked.

She cleared her throat. “Getting…involved.”

“You mean, being ‘really really really close’?” I asked, using her euphemism.

“You know what? Forget it,” she said. “Forget I said anything. Do whatever you want.

Just don’t come crying to me when it doesn’t work out.”

“Caroline? Don’t worry. For one thing, we’re not an item. And for another, if anything did happen? The
last
person I’d come to for sympathy would be you.” I walked out of her room without giving her a chance to reply, and into ours next door, slamming both doors behind me.

“Let me guess. You talked to Caroline?” Claire asked, looking up from her book.

“Did I mention I hate dorms?” I said. “There’s no privacy anywhere—”

“You want me to leave? I can leave for a while,” Claire said. “No problem. If you and Hayden want to talk or whatever—”

“No.” I shook my head. “Hayden and I just talked. Or actually I talked, and he just sat there like a lump, as if he didn’t even know me or care. I’m done talking to him,” I said.

“Let’s go out for ice cream.” Claire slid her feet into a pair of sandals.

“Really? You think?”

“Let’s find Josh and get out of here for a
while.” Claire pointed to the wall we shared with Caroline and Zoe.

“Good idea,” I said. “I know just where we should go—Sally’s.”

“Who’s Sally?” Claire asked.

“She runs a little coffee place. Come on.”

“What are you doing here?” I looked up from the croquet wickets that I was placing in the lawn. “Children are drowning. And don’t you have some zinc oxide to apply?”

“Ha. Very funny.” Hayden dropped a long duffel that made a clattering wood sound. “I’ve been replaced.”

I couldn’t believe it. “What?”

“Yeah. I’ve been replaced. Go figure,” he said. We were standing on the grassy lawn overlooking the ocean, and he pointed at the lifeguard stand, where another figure was perched.

“Like, permanently?” I asked. I could have yelled at myself for having even an ounce of empathy for him. He didn’t deserve it. He didn’t even deserve me talking to him.

“No, just for this morning,” he said. “They
hired someone new, from town, so they can have more of a pool to draw from, in case one of us—or me—gets sick and can’t work, or if there’s an emergency, like with Lindsay yesterday.”

“A pool. Did they actually say that? A pool of lifeguards?” I laughed, despite the fact I felt more like killing him than joking around with him.

“Anyway, that’s why I was in such a bad mood last night. Miss Crossley told me about some big event she wants me to help with. The Inn-lympics or something like that?”

“And you brought the mallets?” I asked. “Thanks. So where are all the competitors?”

“Miss Crossley’s in the lobby, going over the rules. Quite extensive, from what I gather,” Hayden said. “I think she took the actual international Olympics handbook and just modified it a little.”

“So. Should we practice?”

Hayden eyed the wickets I’d set up. “Sure.”

The air smelled incredible that morning—like flowers and ocean and sunshine. Hayden and I were standing there in our sunglasses
and Inn uniforms. We looked like something out of an Inn brochure. This could be such a nice scene.

“What color do you want to be?” Hayden asked.

“Red,” I said. The color of anger.

“This is going to be wicket fun,” Hayden said in a Boston accent.

It was funny, but I willed myself not to smile. I knocked the ball through the first wicket with one rocket shot.

“Wow. Wicket impressed,” he commented.

“I can’t believe you,” I said as I walked over to it.

“What?” Hayden chose blue and followed behind me. His shot went farther.

“You’re such a phony.” I whacked the ball again when it was my turn.

“I am? Me?” He knocked through another wicket.

“Yeah. You pretend to be all nice to me, and sweet and romantic, and then when other people are around, it’s like you don’t even know me. Why?” I asked, sending his croquet
ball flying off the grassy lawn and into the sand.

“What are you doing?” he asked. “And what are you talking about?”

We were approaching each other, croquet mallets in hand, and looking vaguely threatening, when Miss Crossley came running out of the Inn. “Liza, stop that!” she cried.

What did she think I was going to do? And why was she only yelling at me, and not both of us? Hayden looked equally murderous.

“We’ve had an emergency. Roberta’s got her hands full because of an especially needy room,” Miss Crossley said. “Especially needy” meant “completely trashed” in Tides Inn language. “We need you to help out. Rooms Three-eleven and Three-twelve still need cleaning, and a family’s checking into both at noon, they requested early check-in. Could you be a team player and get those two rooms presentable ASAP?”

I’m definitely a team player, but on Uptight Knight’s clean team? I wondered. “Are you sure this is okay with Mr. Knight?” I asked.

“Of course. Why wouldn’t it be? Anyway, I call the shots around here,” she said. “Follow me—Hayden, I’ll be right back with the contestants!”

I glared at him as I thrust the red-striped mallet into his arms. “Have a good time.”

About an hour later, I was cleaning when there was a knock on the door. I looked up from the coffee table I was dusting, expecting it to be either Roberta or Mr. Knight checking on me. I started dusting more vigorously and sprayed an extra layer of cleaner onto the table. Then I answered, “Yes?”

“Liza? I thought I’d find you here.” Hayden stepped into the room.

“Brilliant,” I muttered. As if he had figured out something difficult. Miss Crossley had only announced in front of him that I’d be in either Room 311 or 312.

“What’s that?” Hayden asked.

“I’m busy,” I said.

“This won’t take long.” He lifted the
PRIVACY PLEASE
sign off the doorknob and set it on the outside, then he closed the door.

“What are you doing?” I asked. “You can’t do that.” Of all the times for his infamous daredevil rule-breaking side to come out. “And shouldn’t you be competing in the Inn-lympics?”

“I was a referee. A croquet referee. Have you ever heard of anything so lame?” He laughed.

“You can take over in housekeeping anytime,” I said under my breath.

“Oh no. I’d never survive. Not neat enough. Let me do my Uptight Knight impersonation.” He lifted up the corner of his shirt and ran it over the top of the dresser. “Aha! I have found a speck of dust.”

I didn’t find him all that amusing. Plus, I couldn’t help wondering what he was up to, trapping me in a hotel room. Sure, we lived and worked here, but it was still kind of loaded.

“I can’t believe they let you clean again,” he said. “After the first time.”

“I wasn’t that bad,” I said. “It was an accident. A runaway vacuum. It could happen to anyone.”

He laughed, and I wondered why I was
still trying to be funny, to make him laugh. He didn’t deserve it.

“They’re checking in soon, so I have to get this done.”

“Come on. You can have some fun. So, I was wondering.” He switched on the radio beside the bed, then he came over and took the cleaning stuff out of my hands. He ran his finger along my bare arm. “I know this isn’t wedding music, but…you want to dance?”

I walked over to the radio and snapped it off. “You know, I was wondering something, too. What is your problem?”

“My problem?” he asked.

“With acknowledging me. With being in public together,” I said.

He paced around the room for a second, walking over to the window and back again. “It’s not you, it’s me,” he finally said.

I laughed. “What soap opera did you hear that on?” I scoffed. “And anyway—no kidding. It is you. We could be together. We could be
great
together, if you haven’t noticed. But you’ve got some weird hang-up where you only want to think that some of the time,” I said.

He finally sighed and sat down at the desk. “Okay, fine. You want an explanation. You know what it is? I hated how last year everyone knew about me and Zoe. I hated it. They all had their opinions, like they felt like they could discuss us. I didn’t want that to happen again.”

“Didn’t want
what
to happen again?” I asked. “The girlfriend part or the gossip part?”

He swiveled back and forth in the chair. “The everyone-in-my-business part.”

“I don’t think that’s it,” I said. “I think you’re, like, embarrassed of me, for some reason. I think you just don’t want everyone to know about
me
.”

Hayden shook his head. “That’s not it. I just like to keep things private.”

“Keep me private, you mean.”

“Keep what happens between us private,” he said. “That’s why I put the sign on the door. Privacy please. Like if I could wear one of those around my neck.”

“That could be arranged,” I said. Very, very tightly.

“What do you want me to do?”

I was so angry, I couldn’t even talk to him.
“I don’t know,” I said. “But not what you’ve been doing.”