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Authors: Jennifer Luckett

BOOK: So Gone
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My
arrogance bubbled over.

“She’ll come
runnin’ back,” I whispered. “Cause I kno’ how to fuck her real good.”

“Ha! That ain’t
what I heard,” she tossed back at me.

I smiled.
Never
let 'em see you sweat
, I reminded myself. Then, I carried my shit up outta
there without looking back. When I made it to my ride, I texted Mo’:
You
played yaself.

It surprised me
that she didn’t text back. It was all good though. A nigga was never left
without a backup plan, and I had an A1 backup.

I called Mika.

“Hey, Baby,” I said
softly when she answered the phone.

“Hey. What’s up
with you? You sound troubled,” she immediately detected.

“Man, Mo’ put a
nigga out, but it’s all good.”

I didn’t have to
say anything else. Mika offered, “Come cry on my shoulder, Baby. You know
you’re always welcome here.”

“Cry?” I responded.
“Man, I’m not sheddin’ no tears! Fuck that bougie bitch. I need a gutta broad
as my number one, anyway.”

I was frontin’ nine
thousand, but I’d never let a bitch see me down. I still believed that Mo’
would call in a few days, begging me to come back home.

Hard To Let Go

Molaysia

Really, I didn’t
want my man to go. I would have preferred that we sit down and talk things out.
Even though he wasn’t doing right by me, I couldn't just blink my eyes and stop
loving him. I knew that he loved me.

I recalled all the
good times that we had shared together. It hadn’t always been bad between us.
There was a time when I was Blunt's everything, and he was mine as well. If I
could have those days back I would skip back and forth to work. Blunt was the
only man that I had ever adored. When things were good between us there was
nothing in this world that compared to it, and now it was gone.

Watching Blunt walk
out of that door had hurt so badly. I had wanted to run up behind him and beg
him to stay, plead with him to just be honest with me. It was a good thing that
Leesha was there. I'm not sure that I would've had the strength to let him walk
away.  

"Thanks, girl.
I really needed you here to help me through that," I said.

She hugged me.
"Mo', just because you love a man it doesn't mean that he's the right one
for you."

"You're right,
but I am going to miss him. If he would just stop his lying and cheating..."

Leesha looked at me
reproachfully. "Cuz, how long have you been telling yourself that?"

"I know,
right?" I agreed. "He'll never change. Anyway, I can do bad by
myself."

"Okaaay,"
she chimed.

I sat down at the
kitchen table and rested my head in my hands. "Tomorrow is a new
beginning," I declared. "Thanks again."

"Chile, you’re
welcome." Leesha put a finger up under my chin and lifted my head.
"God will send you the one He has for you."

I smiled, fighting
back tears.

"The twins
must be asleep," I said. We hadn't heard a peep out of them during all the
commotion.

"They probably
have on their headphones," she guessed. "If you're alright, I'm going
to bed. I'm tired from the drive."

 I nodded my head.
“Okay, that’s fine.” I stepped over to the fridge, opened the door, and grabbed
some bottled water. Leesha went on upstairs to get some rest. My cell phone
vibrated on the marble kitchen counter. I picked it up and stared at the unfamiliar
number.

“Hello.”

“Can I speak to
Molaysia?” asked the caller. She sounded real ghettofied.

“This is Molaysia.”
I held the phone to my ear with my shoulder as I walked into the living room
and plopped down on the sofa.

“My name is
Luscious. I’m sure you don’t kno’ who I am but after today you will. I’m
Blunt's baby's mama; the bitch he hasn't told you about."

She paused for a
reaction, but I didn't feed into it.

"Anyway,
honey, I would appreciate it if you would tell yo’ man to stop comin’ over here
trying to regulate shit. My neighbor had to call the popos over here the other
day, and they picked that ass up,” she snitched.

I still remained
silent. Nothing surprised me anymore when it came to that man.

“You still on the
phone?” she asked with a major attitude.

“Yes, I’m still
here, and I’m listening to you. Whether you know it or not, two people can't
speak at the same time and be heard. So, continue on and when you’re finished
that’s when I’ll speak. That’s how civilized people hold conversations,
Babycakes,” I replied sarcastically.

She chuckled.

Look, I know how people with good sense talk so
don’t get cute with me. Unlike Blunt, I don’t worship the ground you walk on
‘cause what you eat don’t make me shit, bitch.”

I sucked my teeth,
turned the water bottle up, took two big gulps, and tried to stay calm.


Hello? Shit, is you
still on the line or what?

she complained.

“I’m listening to
you. Say what you have to say.
” I let out a frustrated
sigh. She
was really testing my patience.


I got your number
out of his cell phone when he showered over here the other day. Well, that was
after he dug up in this pussy for an hour.” She giggled behind her remark.


And you told me
that because?


So you'll know that
he ain't shit. Oh, and before I forget, I’m not the only broad he has a baby
with that you don’t know about. He has a son by a chick named Mika. I don't
know how old that little mothafucka is, but I know he's walking.


Is that so?

I asked nonchalantly refusing to let her know that
what she had confirmed hurt deeply.


Yep, he's been
playing your stupid ass the whole time.

I
guess she thought she could say anything to me that she wanted, and I would
accept it. I wasn’t sure what Blunt had told her about me, but her perception
of me was way off. I wasn't the pushover that she obviously thought I was.


Let me tell you
something, Luscious. You’re one of the dumbest whores living. You called my
phone to tell me that you and Blunt have a baby together, and he’s beating your
ass? Are you serious? You and that baby you gapped your legs open and had need
to be at a clinic somewhere having a blood test done. You sound like a straight
gutter rat, and there’s no telling whose mouse that is.”


Fuck you. I kno’
who my baby daddy is,” she yelled in my ear. “I’m gon’ see you in the streets,
and when I do I’m gon’ hit you so hard yo’ kids gon’ be born dizzy.”

"Honey, I
don't have any children, but when I do, best believe I'll be the man's wife not
a damn
baby mama."

"
I'ma fuck you up
when I see you," she threatened. Her words didn't faze me because she
would have to bring some butt to get some.

 “I hope you’ve
picked out your casket because the day you hit me will be the day you take your
last breath,” I warned. Then, I folded my legs up under me Indian style.

“Hmph. Please, I
ain’t got time for this fuckery. You just better make sure yo’ mouth ain’t
signed a check that yo’ ass can’t cash,” she said before hanging up on me.

I leaned my head
back and thought about just how nasty Blunt's ass was. I absolutely had to keep
my promise to myself to leave that nigga alone before I caught some shit that
an antibiotic couldn’t clear.

A Bottle, A Blunt, And My Thoughts
Blunt                                                                                     

“Check it, Baby
Girl, I’m just callin’ to let you kno’ that I’m not comin’ through tonight so
don’t wait up for me,” I said to Mika.

“Oh, why not? Did
you and Mo’ make up already?” she asked soundin’ a li’l disappointed, but
somewhat understandin’ as always.

“Nah, I’m just
gonna get a room and do some thinkin’ ‘cause all this bouncin’ from female to
female got me off my square,” I admitted.

Mika wasn't the
type of female who needed to be lied to. She could accept the truth and roll
wit’ it. That’s why I fucked wit’ her the long way.

“Do whatever you
feel you have to do. I’m here for you if you need me, Daddy,” she said wit’
sincerity.

“That’s real, Li’l
Mama, and that’s why I’ll never shit on you,” I promised.

I stopped at the
liquor store and grabbed a half a gallon of Hen Dog and some brown stickies to
roll the Kush up that I had on deck. I checked into a room at the Motel 6 out
on Fulton Industrial and tossed Hen back like water. When my head started to
spin, I sparked a blunt and mellowed my high. Then I started thinkin’ about my
boo.

Dayum, why the fuck
couldn’t I be faithful to Mo’? She was beautiful, fine, devoted and
intelligent. I shouldn't have needed anyone else.
Maybe I'm like Tiger
Woods. I might need to go to a sex rehab center for help wit’ my sexual
addiction,
I thought to myself.

That was some funny
shit.

I started laughing
my ass off, because that was the lamest shit I had ever heard. Tiger prob’ly
had been in rehab dicking therapists and nurses. Fa real tho, I needed to check
myself before I lost a good woman. My li’l head was gonna get me in some shit
that I couldn’t get out of one day. A nigga was  droppin’ seeds like crazy.

I hit the blunt and
held the smoke in my lungs until I started coughing. It was some fiyah I was
blazin’! That shit must’ve been laced wit’ some common sense 'cause I swear
every time I inhaled I could clearly see my mistakes.

I grabbed my cell
phone and speed dialed my boo. I got sent to voicemail five straight times. On
the sixth attempt Mo’ answered the phone. “Blunt, stop calling my damn phone.”

I said real softly,
“Boo, all I ask is that you allow me a few minutes to say what’s in my heart.
You don’t have to say anything in response, just listen to me.” I raised my
foot up and planted it on the small nightstand on the side of the bed.

I was posted up in
only a wife beater and black boxers. I tightly clutched the bottle of Henny in
my hand and took a gulp. I was gettin' good and gon’ off that fiyah water.

“No, Blunt. You
don’t deserve another minute of my time. I’ve wasted three years on you, and
I’m not wasting another second. This is where I get off the rollercoaster,
Sir,” Mo' stated without a hint of regret in her voice.

My heart dropped at
the thought that she may have meant it this time. I spoke fast before she could
hang up. "Mo’, you kno’ I love you. You can’t even dispute that. Am I
perfect? Nah, not by a long shot, but my love for you is one hunnid, and that’s
a foundation that you just don’t toss away. I told you when we first hooked up
that sometimes I might make some pretty big mistakes, but you will always be
able to count on my heart. Anything you ask me for, I give it to you, and I
give it wit’ a smile ‘cause you’re my baby.”

“No, Blunt, I’m not
your baby. Your
babies
are by Chunuchi, some broad named Mika, another
trick named Luscious, and God knows how many other baby mamas you have.”

I got quiet. I
wondered how she knew about Mika and Luscious.

“What now? Cat got
your tongue? See, when you lay wit’ rats they go back and tell it. Lose my
number, Dog Ass Negro.” The call abruptly ended.

I didn’t even call
back. I just got high and kicked myself for fuckin’ up. My eyes slowly shut as
I told myself that I had to get my baby back somehow, someway.      

 
No Mask
Blunt

The next day I was
out in the streets parlaying with my hood niggas. Mo’ was still on my mind, but
I had on my game face around the homies.

“I heard you got
them thangs on deck,” a nigga named Millionaire said to me as I walked up to
where he was posted up on the hood of his metallic gray Dodge Charger, chopping
it up wit’ some homies at Grant Park. We dapped fists.

“Yeah, I’m fuckin’
wit’ a li’l somethin’,” I said and steered him away from the others. My li’l
homie, Deuce, who was sitting on the hood of his black '64 Chevy Impala a few
feet away, winked at me.

When me and
Millionaire got away from the others I asked, “So, how many of them thangs you
tryna fuck wit’?”

“Depends on the
ticket you got on 'em,” he replied.

“Since it’s you,
I’ma let ‘em go for sixteen a piece.”
I quoted a
price that he couldn’t refuse.

Millionaire smiled,
showin’ eight gold teeth across the top of his grill. “In that case, let me get
three of them thangs,” he said like he was ordering a hunnid.

"That's what's
up." I nodded.

“I would get more,
but I already got a half mil tied up in another move,” he popped, frontin’ like
a motha. He had gotten the nickname 'Millionaire' by talkin’ a million dollars
worth of shit and exaggeratin’ nine hunnid grand of it.

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