Snowed In (18 page)

It was a couple of hours before we walked to the public garage where Josh kept his car. And—it was a red Ford Mustang.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

He seemed to be asking me that a lot today, but then I realized that my hand was aching from squeezing his so tightly.

“It’s my favorite kind of car,” I admitted. “And my favorite color.”

“Mine, too. On both counts. It was an early graduation present from Dad, which really puts the pressure on me now to graduate.” 222

“Is there a chance you won’t?”

He grinned. “Nah.”

“You’d better drive it carefully,” I said.

He gave me a really hot grin. “Careful is boring.”

Tara and Shaun climbed into the back and I slid into the passenger seat. I took off my glove and ran my hand over the dash. Then I buckled up and listened to the car purr as Josh revved up the engine.

But it was just for show.

Once he started to back out, he did drive carefully. Mainly because the streets were slick. I was surprised that the bridge was open for traffic. Only a few cars were out, so I relaxed and enjoyed the ride.

It had begun to grow dark already. The bridge lights came on as we were driving over it. It was beautiful from a distance, but amazing up close.

When we got back to Chateau Ashleigh, I was going to have to thank Shaun for this day.

“Winter’s the worst time to drive around, but any other season, it’s great. And each season is so different,” Josh said. “Maybe sometime . . .” He left it unfinished, but I knew what he’d been about to say. That dangling date thing again.

A date that would never happen, because he had a girlfriend.

223

I didn’t answer. I don’t know why. Maybe I didn’t want to completely destroy the possibility that someday we might take another drive together.

224

19

It was harder than I thought it would be to watch Tara leave the next morning. Before the Wynters had arrived at the house to begin work, Tara, Shaun, and I took a taxi to the airport. While Shaun went to check in their bags, I asked Tara something I hadn’t been in the mood to know the answer to last night.

“Going to the mainland, driving across the bridge, that wasn’t Shaun’s idea, was it?”

“He mentioned he wanted to do it.” She looked guilty.

“Okay, inviting Josh . . . Shaun’s idea?” She scrunched up her face. “Let’s just say, Shaun knew he’d be interested, and I knew you’d have a good time with him. And we did need someone with a car.”

“He has a girlfriend.”

Tara looked at the ground.

“Tara?”

225

She lifted her gaze to mine. “Shaun told me something but I can’t tell you. It’s a guy to girlfriend thing. Just . . . just don’t count yesterday out as a date.”

“What are you talking about?”

She opened her mouth, but before she could say anything, Shaun returned.

“Hey, babe, the puddle-jumper’s ready for us.” She laughed nervously. “That’s what he calls the small planes.”

I wasn’t sure if she was nervous about flying or nervous because she’d almost gotten caught telling me something she wasn’t supposed to. And I probably wouldn’t know until she got home tonight, and I could call her when Shaun wasn’t around.

I gave her a tight hug. “Thanks so much for coming.”

I even hugged Shaun. I had a feeling I needed to thank him for something, but I wasn’t exactly sure what.

I stayed and watched until the plane lifted into the sky.

Then I rode the taxi back to Chateau Ashleigh, paid the driver, and got out. I had to admit it was kinda cool to travel over the snow, to have a place that looked so peaceful. And I was getting used to the quiet. The island was almost beginning to feel 226

familiar. And after having my best friend here for a few days, our cottage was actually starting to feel like . . . home.

I opened the gate, took a step, and—

Bam!

Something hit me in the side of the head.

Rubbing my head, I turned slightly. Nathalie was standing there with a red, red nose and red eyes. What was up with that?

Corey and Shanna were with her. I guess they’d been hiding behind a tree or a mound of snow or something. I hadn’t seen them when I arrived.

“I’ve never been in a snowball fight,” I said smiling, walking toward them. “Are there rules?”

“You bitch!” Nathalie yelled. “You think I don’t know you’re the reason my boyfriend broke up with me?”

“Josh broke up with you?”

She nodded her head so fast that I was surprised it didn’t fly off.

I had a lot more questions, but when three girls start pelting you with snowballs—and they’re way more experienced at it than you are—talking is the last thing on your mind.

Running is the first.

And run I did. Straight into the house.

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“This island isn’t big enough for the both of us!” Nathalie yelled after me.

Did she really just say that?

Breathing heavily, I slammed the door closed behind me.

Was that what Tara had known? The guy code that had become a guy-girlfriend code? That Josh was going to break up with Nathalie?

And I was the reason?

I was scared. Did he expect me to become his girlfriend now?

I wasn’t going to do that, no matter how much I liked him. I wasn’t ready for a boyfriend. I wasn’t ready for that whole clingy he-is-my-world kind of thing.

I heard Mom’s laughter floating out from the kitchen, followed by Mr. Wynter’s. That meant Josh was here.

I dashed up the stairs and found him painting another guestroom, his back to me.

“You broke up with Nathalie?” I demanded.

Holding the paint roller, he turned from the wall. He didn’t deny it, and I didn’t really need to hear his answer. The answer was a shattered snowball caught inside the collar of my coat and sliding down my back and sending shivers up my spine. “What did you tell her? She hates me. She 228

thinks I’m the reason that you broke up with her.” Shaking his head, he rolled his eyes with obvious exasperation—only I didn’t know if it was at me or at her.

“I didn’t tell her that,” he said.

“What did you say?”

He set the paint roller aside and took a step toward me. I held up my hand to stop him.

“You’re shivering,” he said. “We need to get you in front of a fire.”

And it was a little difficult to be indignant when my teeth were chattering, but still I managed. “They threw snowballs at me.”

“Who did?”

I shook my head. I hadn’t meant to tell him. I didn’t want him mad at her. I just wanted him to fix things.

“Nathalie?” he asked.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“I explained everything to her last night. I never mentioned you. I’ll go talk to her again.”

“You’re not the one who needs to talk to her.” I took out my cell phone. “What’s Chase’s number?”

He gave it to me. I punched it in, stored it.

“Why do you need to call him?” Josh asked, and I thought I heard jealousy in his voice.

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“Because he likes Nathalie.”

“Really?”

I nodded. “Just something he said about you claiming her and never giving another guy a chance. I don’t know.” I shrugged. “I think that’s the reason he dates so many girls. Because the one he wanted wasn’t available.”

Josh remained silent.

“I hate being the reason you broke up with her,” I said.

“You’re not the reason.”

I gave him a hard stare.

“Okay, I guess in a way you are.” In a way? In the only way possible.
Just call me
Homewrecker.

“I’m not going to date you, Josh.”

“Look, I know you think, new girl in town so I dump old girlfriend. But that’s not how it is. Do you know how I became her boyfriend?” I shook my head.

He gave me a wry grin. “I’m twelve, she’s eleven. She passes a note to me in class. Will you be my boyfriend? And there were two little boxes.

Yes. No.”

“Like that George Strait song?”

“Not exactly, but close enough. Like I said. I was twelve. What did I know? I checked yes. And 230

I’ve been her boyfriend ever since.”

“Because of a note?” I asked incredulously.

“Pretty much. You know how Nathalie is. Once she started telling people I was her boyfriend, it seemed mean to say I wasn’t. And yeah, I’m a jerk.” He closed his eyes. “It was easier to be her boyfriend than try to break up with her. And I liked her.” He opened his eyes. “But not the way I like you.”

“So I
am
the reason you broke up.”

“Only because you made me realize that it wasn’t fair to either Nathalie or me for us to keep going together. She deserves someone who
really
likes her, who wants to be with her because he doesn’t want to be with anyone else.” I thought about the conversation I’d had with Mom. If she and Dad had waited a few years, would they have gotten married at all?

“And you’re not that guy.”

He looked a little sad. “I’m definitely not that guy.”

“It doesn’t matter. I don’t want a boyfriend.” I turned on my heel and hurried to my room.

Shedding my coat and hat, I flopped onto my bed.

I was scared, so scared. Not horror-movie scared. But real-life scared.

I wouldn’t go out with Josh, even if he asked.

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Maybe he wouldn’t ask.
Please don’t ask.

Because one date wouldn’t be enough. I was afraid a hundred dates wouldn’t be enough.

And then I’d have a boyfriend. Until someone else moved to the island and he broke my heart.

I took out my cell phone and called Chase. At least one person on this island would be happy.

Later that night, after I was certain she was back home, I called Tara.

“You knew he was going to break up with her,” I said without preamble.

She groaned. “Yeah, sorta. The guy-code stuff?

He’d asked Shaun for tips on how to break up with a girl so that they stayed friends.”

“Well, he sure blew that. Anyway, how would Shaun know?”

“There are a lot of breakups around here. He’s heard things. Guys talk.”

“Guy code,” I grumbled.

“Yeah. So when are you and Josh going out?”

“We’re not.”

“Why not?”

I clearly heard the disbelief in her voice.

“We’re just not.”

“It’s because you like him so much and you’re afraid one or two dates won’t be enough.” 232

The problem with having a best friend was that she knew me a little too well. But there was more to it. I didn’t want to hurt Nathalie. While she was sometimes a little out there, she had made me feel welcome and part of the island.

“You’re
afraid
you’ll want him to be your boyfriend,” she continued. “You’re afraid you’ll betray this pact you made with yourself to never have one.”

“I didn’t make a pact to
never
have one. I just made a pact not to have one until I was way older.”

“Dammit, Ash.”

Tara never cursed, so I knew she was really upset with me. Well, welcome to the club. If she was still here, she’d probably be throwing snowballs at me too.

“He’s a nice guy,” Tara said.

“So is Chase.”

“Do you think about Chase all the time?”

“What’s that got to do with anything?”

“You’re hopeless.”

No, I was scared. Scared she was right about everything.

233

20

The next two days were hell. Mostly because I didn’t want to run into Josh, so I got out of bed way too early and headed down to the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee. I was nestled safely in my room, with no plans to come out, by the time I heard activity downstairs.

I finished designing the website, and I decided now was as good a time as any to begin working on my novel. Maybe if I killed off a few fictitious people I’d feel better. After a day and a half, I’d typed, “Chapter One.” Which I thought was a pretty good beginning.

Where to go from there, though, was a mystery.

I was sitting at the computer staring out the window—thinking about Josh, not the story—

when someone knocked. It was Mom, and she looked worried.

“Are you all right?”

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“Oh, yeah.” I pointed to the computer screen.

“I’m working on my novel.”

She was holding a small package, but she still managed to cross her arms over her chest. “You’re not avoiding someone?”

I shook my head.

She narrowed her eyes. “Okay, if you’re sure.

But if you are avoiding someone, he’s left for the day.”

“I’m not.”

But I was glad to know he was no longer there.

She set the package on the desk. “This came for you.”

I knew what it was.

“Thanks.”

She studied me for a minute. “Tomorrow, Mr.

Wynter and I are going to the mainland to look at some different wallpapering. Josh is taking the day off, so you’ll be here all alone. Will you be okay with that, or do you want to come with us?”

“I’m a big girl. I’m okay with that.” I couldn’t be sure, but I thought Mom looked relieved. She headed for the door.

“Mom?”

She stopped with her hand on the doorknob and looked back at me.

“Mom, I’m really confused about when you 235

know whether or not a guy should be your boyfriend.”

“Don’t think about it so much, Ashleigh. It’s not something your head decides.”

“Do you think you’ll ever have a boyfriend again?”

“I hope so.”

“But aren’t you afraid of getting hurt again?” I thought I saw tears glisten in her eyes. “You know, Ashleigh, some of my very best memories include moments spent with your dad. Yes, it hurt when we split, but what we had for a while made the hurt worth it.”

When Mom left, I sat for a long time thinking about what she’d said. Then I called Dad.

“You know, we actually had some snow flur-ries today,” he said. “I thought of you.”

“I’ve been thinking of you, too, but not because of the snow. I . . .” Gosh, this was hard, and I realized that Josh breaking up with Nathalie had probably been a lot harder for him than just staying with her would have been. That it took a lot of guts to admit a mistake and do something about it. “I was mad at you, mad about Marsha.”