Snowbound with the Boss (10 page)

Kate did the same and thought how nice it was to be able to share with a friend exactly what she was feeling. Their due dates only a couple of weeks apart, the two women had done some serious bonding over the last week. “Yours is a boy, right?”

“Yep. Mike's so excited, it's adorable.” Jenny smiled to herself. “Keeps bringing home footballs and baseball gloves. But you know what I'm talking about. Sean's thrilled about having a daughter. I heard him telling Mike that his girl would be the first female pitcher in the big leagues one day.”

Kate rubbed her belly and smiled gently. Sean was excited. He wanted their baby as much as she did and though she was happy about that, it was also a worry. She couldn't see how they would work this out.

For the past week, it had felt as if the two of them were playing house. Sleeping wrapped in each other's arms, waking up together, sharing breakfast on the terrace, talking about their days over dinner. She'd gone to the beach to watch him surf and had felt like a teenaged girl when her boyfriend came running out of the surf to flop down onto the sand beside her.

They spent every night making love in the big bed with a view of the ocean, and every morning she woke to his kisses.

How was she supposed to go home and pretend she didn't miss it? Didn't miss him?

But she had to go home. Soon. Her crew needed her, she had a house, a life to get back to and pretending this time with Sean was real wouldn't change any of that. She knew, though, that the minute she talked about leaving, that would spawn another argument.

“How do you do it?” Kate suddenly asked Jenny. “How do you handle being with a man who's so sure of himself all the time?”

Jenny laughed, searched through the stack of artist's renderings and said, “Oh, it's not easy sometimes, but it's never boring being with a Ryan.” She found the picture she was looking for and reached out to grab a deep red marker. Quickly, expertly, she added a robe, lifted in an unseen wind, to the character on the page.

“That's really good,” Kate said, turning her head so she could see the whole image.

“Thanks.” Jenny shot her a quick grin. “Here's one of our famous arguments. Mike insisted that the empress here should be short and twisted, your typical cartoon image of a bad witch. He wanted evil easily seen on her face.” She snorted and shook her head, clearly amused. “I told him that evil is much scarier if it looks beautiful. We went around and around on it. It was a fun fight, but I eventually won.”

“If it helps any,” Kate told her, looking at the beautiful drawing, “I think you're right. She's gorgeous, but there's something dark in her eyes.”

“Exactly!”

“Do you argue a lot? With Mike I mean,” Kate asked, then added quickly, “I'm not being nosy, it's only that Sean and I seem to butt heads regularly. He's so damn stubborn.”

Jenny laughed out loud this time and set the sketch aside once she was finished. “Our arguments are legendary. When we get going, everyone around here heads for cover. Mike's got a head like a rock and frankly, I'm just as hardheaded, so when we're on opposite sides, it can get loud.

“But oh, making up is so worth the battle,” Jenny said on a dreamy sigh.

Funny, Kate thought now, she and Sam had never argued. They'd come from the same place, wanted the same things, it was just
easy
being with him. But if she was honest, at least with herself, Kate could admit that the fire between her and Sean was part of what made being with him so exciting.

“Kate,” Jenny said, sympathy coloring her tone, “I know it's none of my business, but are you planning on staying with Sean?”

The simple question, quietly asked, suddenly clarified everything in Kate's mind. She couldn't stay. Her life was in Wyoming and Sean's was here. Staying with him, living with him, was only making the inevitable harder on both of them. She had to get back to her real life and the sooner the better, for both their sakes. Meeting Jenny's eyes, she said, “No. I'm going home. Tomorrow.”

Now, she had to tell Sean.

* * *

That night, they had dinner at a local diner, went to a summer concert in the park and then took a long walk back to the condo. Sean had been making plans all day, and he knew he had everything worked out. There was really only one way to solve their situation, he assured himself. All he had to do was convince her he was right. And since he was right so often, how hard would that be?

Once inside, they took the elevator to the penthouse level and walked into his home. In the last week, he realized Kate had made some changes not only to him, but also to this place. There were fresh flowers in vases, fruit in a bowl on the counter and the scent of the chocolate chip cookies she'd made the night before still in the air. Kate's stamp was all over this once-empty space—and on him, as well.

“You want a cookie?” she asked, heading for the kitchen.

“No,” he said and stopped her by snatching her hand and pulling her up tight to him. “I want to talk to you.”

“Okay.” She reached up and laid one hand on his heart. “I have to talk to you, too.”

“Well, ordinarily I'd say ladies first, since my mother would kick me if I didn't.” He grinned at her. “But I've been thinking about this all day, and I want to get it said.”

She smiled at him, and her eyes sparkled. “Okay, what is it?”

“I've been giving this situation we're in a lot of thought,” he said, his hands on her shoulders, his thumbs caressing her even as he held on to her. “And I think I've got the solution.”

“Sean...”

“No,” he said, shaking his head, “let me finish. Kate, we get along great. The sex is incredible, and we're having a baby together. I think you know there's only one real answer here. Marry me.”

He'd surprised her. He could see that. But what he didn't see was excitement, pleasure. Instead, he read regret in her eyes, and a cold fist took hold of his heart and squeezed.

“No.”

Sean didn't have a quick comeback. He'd expected an argument. Hell, he'd been looking forward to it. He liked fighting with her almost as much as taking her to bed. But the look on her face told him she wasn't interested in arguing. She'd already made her decision. It was just one he couldn't live with.

“No? That's it?”

“You don't really want to marry me, Sean.”

“See,” he said, “I think I do, since I'm the one who proposed.”

“That wasn't even a question,” she pointed out, shaking her head. “You said ‘marry me.' Like, I don't know, ‘fetch me my slippers' or something.”

“I don't own slippers.”

“Not the point.” She held up both hands and breathed deeply before saying, “I've been married before, and I don't want to risk that kind of pain again.”

“There doesn't have to be pain,” he countered. “I'm not talking about love here. A marriage based on mutual need is safe. Neither of us risks more than we're prepared to lose. It's the perfect solution, Kate. You know it is.”

He thought he had her for a second when she chewed her bottom lip and seemed to be considering it, but then she started talking again. “I don't need you to take care of me, Sean. And I can take care of myself, so why should I marry you?”

He went tight and still inside. She didn't need him. Just like Adrianna.

“Besides, my life is in Wyoming and yours is here. I can't give up the mountains in exchange for crowds and traffic—not even for you. And I know you don't want to leave the ocean, so it won't work. I appreciate the offer but—”

“Spare me the appreciation,” he snapped. Damn it, he was talking about marrying her, and she couldn't have been less interested. First time ever that he proposes and he gets turned down? Was it some kind of karmic kick in the butt? Was the universe at large having a good laugh at his expense?

He'd been so sure this was the solution. All the time he'd spent thinking how much he admired her strength and self-confidence, and it turned out that's exactly what was keeping her from agreeing to marry him.

“And what do we do about the baby?” he demanded.

“I promise, I will give you regular updates on how she is,” Kate told him, her gaze locked with his. “And I won't try to keep her from you, either.”

“That's it?” He slid his hands up from her shoulders to cup her face. “Just ‘no' and we're done?”

“We'll never be done,” she said and lifted her hands to cover his. “We'll always share a daughter.”

He was going to take another stab at it. Sean and his partners hadn't built Celtic Knot by giving up. He had to fight for what he wanted or it wasn't worth getting. “It's not enough, damn it. We're good together, and you know it, Kate.”

“I do,” she agreed and stepped back, distancing them just a little. “But you're dangerous to my heart, Sean, and I don't want to risk that again.”

“Nobody said anything about
love
, Kate.” He cared for her, of course he did. And she was the mother of his daughter. But he didn't
love
her. Love hadn't been a part of this at all for him. Love was something that tied a man into knots and sent him spinning off on roads he'd never planned to travel. It was having to think of someone else before yourself. And for a selfish man, that was hard to imagine.

She took a breath, blew it out and said softly, “I'm saying it, Sean. I made the mistake of falling in love with you, and now I have to leave so I can get over it.”

He felt the punch of her words, saw the look in her eye and just for a second the world seemed to tilt. “What?”

“I love you, Sean. Didn't mean to, didn't want to.” She shrugged and gave him a reluctant smile. “Turns out you're just as charming as you said you were. You got to me when I thought no one else ever could. But I can't be in love, Sean. I won't let myself be. So I can't marry you.”

She wouldn't marry him, but she
did
love him. What the hell? Sean took a long step back, physically and mentally. He thought of his brother and how Mike's life had changed the minute he'd admitted to loving Jenny. Sure, he seemed happy, but he didn't have a pool table in his family room anymore, did he? And Brady? Hell, Brady had given up his home and moved to Ireland of all places because he was in love.

Well, Sean's world was already just as he liked it. He did what he wanted when he wanted. If that made him a selfish bastard, he'd just have to live with it.

“So when are you going home?” he finally asked, shoving both hands into his pants pockets.

“Tomorrow. I'll find the best flight I can—”

“Don't be ridiculous, take the company jet.”

“I can't—”

“Damn it, Kate!” He took a breath to cool off and wondered why he was so angry. Sean didn't want love in his life any more than Kate did, so why did it make him furious that she loved him and wanted to “get over it” like a bad case of the flu?

“Don't yell at me,” she said in a dangerously soft voice.

“Then don't say stupid things.” Outrage glittered in her eyes, so he spoke up fast. “Sorry, sorry. Take the company jet. I don't want to have to worry about you on some crowded plane with strangers sneezing in your face and making my daughter sick.”

A muffled laugh slipped from her and was gone again in a heartbeat. “Okay, thanks.”

He rubbed the back of his neck then shook his head. “Yeah. No problem. You'll call me when you get home.”

“Is that an order?” she asked.

“Damn straight it is,” he told her, then pulled her in for a hug. And as he held her, Sean realized he really didn't want to let her go.

Ten

T
he next morning, Kate was gone. She left early, with a kiss and a promise to stay in touch. And Sean let her go.

What choice did he have? She was the one who'd brought love into this. He'd been after a simple arrangement between lovers. Between parents of a child they both wanted. What the hell did love have to do with this anyway?

Kate leaving was for the best, he told himself. It just didn't feel like it at the moment. But instead of thinking about her or having to spend too much time in a condo that seemed to echo with emptiness, he threw himself into the launch of the new game.

So far, “The Wild Hunt” looked to be their biggest success yet. Sean spent hours every day on the phone, tracking numbers, making new contacts and negotiating new deals with their old customers. The packagers were having a hard time keeping up with demand for the game, and that was good news.

When the first sales reports began trickling in, Sean and Mike made a video call to Ireland so all three partners could talk about the latest news.

“The European numbers are every bit as exciting,” Brady told them with a wide grin. “We've got more orders than we can fill—I ordered a second run at the packagers so we can move quickly and take advantage of the buzz the game's getting.”

“Good idea,” Sean said.

“And,” Brady added, “I'm thinking we should line up an extra packager before we launch ‘Dragon's Tears' this Christmas. We don't want to be caught coming up short again.”

“Makes sense,” Sean agreed, looking to Mike and getting a nod in response. “I've been scouting for more packagers already, since we've had the same problem here, needing an extra run to fulfill orders. Think I've lined up a new one—in Montana of all places, so I thought I'd go and check it out this week. Get things rolling way ahead of schedule.”

“Montana. Isn't that close to Wyoming?” Brady swiveled in his desk chair and behind him, they caught glimpses of the Irish countryside, complete with dark gray skies and trees twisting in the wind.

“It is,” Mike told him from his chair behind the desk. “And no, he's not stopping off to see Kate.”

“Why the hell not?” Brady asked. “She's having your baby, you idiot.”

“Thanks for all the support, guys,” Sean said tightly, aiming a narrow-eyed stare at his friend and then at his brother. “But I think I can handle my own life, thanks.”

“Not from where I'm sitting,” Mike muttered.

“Me, either,” Brady chimed in. He scowled into the camera. “Did you learn nothing from watching Mike and I make messes of everything?”

“Yeah, I learned that being in love is mostly a pain in the ass,” Sean said and took a sip of his beer.

It was after hours in the office. Everyone else had left for the day. Soon Mike would be heading home to be with Jenny, and Sean would be...alone. And that was how he liked it, he reminded himself.

“Hey, loving Jenny's the best thing I ever did,” Mike argued.

“Yeah?” Sean tipped his head to one side and gaped at his brother. “How many times have you complained about losing your damn pool table? Or how many houses has Jenny had you out to look at this week?”

Mike sighed. “Eight. And I'll get another pool table when she finally decides on a house.”

Sean snorted. “And you.” He looked at Brady. “You moved all the way to Ireland for your wife.”

“Best move I ever made.”

Sean wasn't convinced. He'd watched Mike and Brady take the plunge and though he'd encouraged them both, he just couldn't see himself taking the same fall.

“Jenny told me she talked to Kate this morning,” Mike said.

Sean whipped his head around to look at him. “Why? Is everything okay with her?”

“Did you see that?” Mike asked Brady, then snorted at Sean. “Yeah, you don't care about Kate. I can see that now.”

“I never said I didn't
care
,” he argued. “I said I didn't
love
her.”

“Sell it to someone who might buy it,” Brady said and even all the way from Ireland, the sarcasm in his tone rang loud and clear.

Sean took a breath and told himself not to let them get to him. “Fine. Just tell me what she wanted when she called Jenny.”

“I don't know.” Mike shrugged. “Something about the baby moving around a lot and Kate wondering if Jenny's baby was doing the same thing.”

Moving around a lot. And he wasn't there to experience it with her. That chewed at him. Hell, it had been her choice to leave. He'd wanted her to stay, hadn't he? Asked her to
marry
him, for God's sake, when he'd never wanted to marry anyone. She'd been gone four weeks now, and missing her was just part of his life. He still couldn't walk into his own damn house without seeing her, smelling her, wanting her.

He gritted his teeth and said, “I'll call her tomorrow and check in.”

“Yeah,” Mike said, nodding with a smirk on his face. “Give the mother of your kid a phone call. Good idea.”

“What're you riding me for?” Sean turned in his chair to glare at his brother.

“Because you're being a damn fool and it irritates me.”

“Me, too,” Brady said from Ireland.

“Thanks.” Sean gave his friend a hard look. “Nothing like being insulted long-distance.”

“What else do you want?” Mike leaned forward and slapped one hand down on his desk. “She's been gone a month, and you're more miserable to be around than ever.”

Sean took a breath and huffed it out in a long sigh. Maybe he had a point. But hell, it wasn't like Mike was a vacation to hang out with half the time.

“Look,” Sean said, trying for reasoned calm, “Kate had to go back home. She has work. I have work here. It's no big deal.”

Could they hear the lie? he wondered. Could they see that his tongue nearly rotted and fell off just telling that lie? She said she didn't need him. And the bottom line was what had punched at him the hardest. Adrianna had said the same damn thing, and he'd lived through it.

He'd be fine this time, too. If she didn't want him there, he'd stay the hell away. But he wouldn't walk out on his kid. That baby was
his,
and nothing would keep him from her. Not even her mother.

“So you're gonna let her make the call on this.” Mike shook his head sadly, disappointment gleaming in his eyes.

Sean ignored it and gave his brother and friend each a hard stare. “My business. My life. Back off.”

“Fine.” Mike turned to face Brady and shrugged. “There's no cure for ‘idiot.'”

“So I hear.” Brady cleared his throat, checked a readout on his tablet and changed the subject. “We're already getting preorders for the Christmas game. With that video of ‘Dragon's Tears' we tacked on to the end of ‘The Wild Hunt,' gamers are primed. Hell, they haven't even finished this game and they're already talking about the next one.”

“All good,” Mike said shortly. “Sean, what's the story on this new distributor?”

He pulled out his notes and lost himself in the details he was most comfortable with. Going over plans and strategies, he focused on the work, because thinking about Kate would push him over the edge.

* * *

Kate had been back in Wyoming for two months, and she still woke up stretching her arm out across the mattress reaching for Sean. Starting every day with disappointment and misery was taking a toll. She was tired a lot of the time, and the growing baby was like a ticking personal clock. Every day brought her closer to delivery, to meeting her child for the first time. And every day reminded her that Sean wouldn't be with her.

He should have been there, experiencing it all with her. Every time the baby kicked, she thought,
Sean should feel this
. When she bought a crib and put it together herself, she thought how much more fun it would have been to have Sean helping. Even though his skill with tools was less than brilliant, they'd have been together, doing something for their daughter.

And the misery filled her.

Phone calls and video chats weren't enough. Seeing him, hearing him, only made her miss him more when the call was over. Molly did her best to distract Kate, Harry worried and hovered and her crew had all taken on more work to pick up the slack, since she wasn't at her most productive at the moment.

The familiar symphony of power tools and voices shouting to be heard welcomed Kate when she stepped into the hotel. Nearly finished now, the guys were just taking care of a few finishing touches. Today, detailed wood carvings were being added around the mantels of the fireplaces, and low cabinets were being added to the walls in the main dining room. They still had to replace some shingles on the roof and add a few hand-crafted flower boxes to the front porch railings, but then the work would be done, except for whatever the Celtic Knot artists would do to the interior walls. Most of the crew was now working on the individual cabins, and just looking at them as she walked out to the wraparound porch made Kate smile.

They looked as if they belonged in a Faery forest, with their curved roofs, arched doors and round windows. Details were coming to life, making each cabin different. Paint colors were bright and Kate thought her favorite had to be the sapphire-blue cabin with the emerald-green door. Gingerbread trim scrolled along the rooflines of each cabin and outlined every window. Every cabin even boasted a tiny gas fireplace and whimsical chimney crafted out of either copper or brick. It was a magical spot and she wished, damn it, that Sean was there to see it all.

When her phone signaled a video chat, her heart gave a quick jump and even the baby kicked as if she knew it was her daddy calling. Had he felt Kate thinking about him?

“Sean. Hi.” He looked so good, she thought sadly. And so far away.

“How's it going, Kate?”

He was in his office, she thought, recognizing the space behind him. It was harder, somehow, now that she'd been with him in California. She could picture him in the office where they'd shared a pizza one night. Where he'd held her on his lap while he answered phone calls. Kate's heart twisted in her chest, and she sighed a little at the memories.

“Everything's good,” she said, forcing a smile she knew wouldn't so much as touch her eyes. “We've nearly finished the main hotel. Just some minor things left to do there. The crew's focused mainly on the cabins, and they're looking wonderful.”

“Yeah?” A half smile curved his mouth briefly.

She wanted to kiss it.

“See for yourself.” She turned the phone around and moved it slowly, so the camera would catch at least four of the cabins, sitting like tiny jewels among the trees.

When she was looking at him again, he said, “They look excellent, Kate. Really.” He rubbed the back of his neck, and she almost smiled at the gesture. She recognized it as what he did when he was stressed. Good to know that seeing each other like this was no easier on him than it was on her.

“I wanted to let you know we'll be sending a couple of our artists out to do the work on the walls,” he said.

“Great.” A spurt of hope shot through her as she asked, “Are you coming, too?”

“No,” he said and deflated that bubble of expectation. “I've got meetings set up for the next two weeks that can't be put off.”

“Right. Okay.” She nodded and smiled again, not wanting to let him know how disappointed she was. It had been two months since they were together, and it felt like two years. “When will they be here?”

“Sometime next week. They'll move into a couple of the bedrooms there so they can be on-site, get the job done as quickly as possible.”

“Then I'll bring some supplies in for them.”

“That'd be great, thanks,” Sean said, then his voice lowered to an intimate tone. “How are you doing, Kate?”

“I'm fine,” she said, lifting her chin and refusing to give in to the aching loneliness beginning to throb inside her. “Went to the doctor yesterday. He says the baby's perfectly healthy and growing just as she should.”

“Good,” he said, his gaze locked with hers. “That's good. Um, Jenny says her baby's moving all the time now. Is ours?”

A sting of tears burned her eyes, but she blinked them back. He should
know
, she told herself. He should be there, feeling every kick and bump their child made. Maybe she should have accepted that marriage demand disguised as a proposal. But even as she thought it, Kate knew she'd done the right thing. If for no other reason than the fact that she loved him and he didn't feel the same.

“Yes,” she said, shutting down those thoughts. “She was doing jumping jacks all last night. I hardly slept.”

He frowned. “That can't be good. You need rest, Kate. You—”

“I'm taking care of myself, Sean,” she interrupted him quickly. “Everything's fine. We're fine.” She watched him nod, then she asked, “How about there? The game still selling well?”

“Best one yet,” he said, but there was no excitement in his eyes.

“Good. That's good, too.” God, they sounded so stiff with each other. Both of them talking and neither of them saying anything that mattered. Anything
real
.

“Kate!”

She looked up to see one of her workers shouting to her from one of the cabins. Kate held up one finger to let her know she was coming.

“Sean, I'm sorry. Lilah's got some issue in a cabin. I've gotta go.”

“Right,” he said. “Me, too. Look, I'll call you in a day or two, okay? And be careful, will you?”

“Don't worry. Take care of yourself, Sean,” she said and gave in to the urge to touch the screen as if she could stroke her finger along his cheek.

Then he was gone and she went back to work.

* * *

Two weeks later, Sean was at his desk when Mike stuck his head in the office and shouted, “Jenny's in the hospital!”