Snowbound Baby (Silhouette Romance) (10 page)

“And I told you something
equal to your win.” Not sure what else to do, Cooper ran his hand along the back of his neck. “If you want more info you need to beat me again.”

She dealt. He lost. He was beginning to believe she really was cursed to being lucky at cards, unlucky at love.

“Frankly, Zoe, I’m out of things to tell you.”

She looked him in the eye. “Tell me how to do it. Tell me how to stay sane, how to get the attitude that I should only look out for myself, how to resist the temptation to try one more time to get somebody to love me.”

He couldn’t handle the sadness in her pretty blue eyes, so he focused on the other point of her question. “Is that how you see me? As somebody who only looks out for himself?”

“Isn’t that how you see yourself?”

Yes and no. He looked out for himself because he was strong, able, independent. Somebody avoiding pain. Not somebody intent on hurting people. Not somebody who was selfish. She saw him as selfish.

He cleared his throat. “No. That’s not how I see myself. And you win. My story is over and you’re fully clothed. You don’t have to go to bed with me.”

C
ooper couldn’t sleep that
night. He tried to tell himself that the difference between being inconsiderate and selfish was small and he had accepted himself as inconsiderate, which made him an idiot to care about being called selfish. But it didn’t work.

There
wasn’t
a small difference between inconsiderate and selfish. There was a pool. A swimming pool. An
Olympic
swimming pool. Inconsiderate people didn’t see things, didn’t think things through. Selfish people were
deliberately
self-centered. They saw others’ needs and ignored them.

Pacing, Cooper tried to remember when he’d seen one of Bonnie’s needs and ignored it, but he couldn’t recall a time because there wasn’t a time. He simply, honest-to-God had never seen what she needed.

He didn’t believe that made him a bad person. He thought being inconsiderate made him unfit for relationships. And he accepted that. Hell, he had recognized that as part of the deal back when Seth had kicked him out of the house. He was who he was. Since he couldn’t change, he chose to keep his distance from people who couldn’t tolerate him as he was.

Except Zoe didn’t think that he
was inconsiderate. She thought he was selfish.

He fell to the bed and groaned. Damn it! Why did he care?

Because she was a smart woman. She’d seen so much of life he could tell she was a good judge of character. She wasn’t just a pretty girl or a sexy woman. She had a real heart. And if she thought being selfish kept him sane and she decided to imitate him, she would lose that heart.

But, he
wasn’t
selfish. He was thick, obtuse…or overworked. Burdened with his own problems.

He combed his fingers through his hair. Actually, that
was
the gist of it. When he was with Ty and Seth, his burden had been to do his share of work needed to make Bryant Development great. Ty was a genius planner. Seth was a networker. Cooper was the guy who got things done. While his brothers made deals, Cooper oversaw the resultant projects. Yes, he was tough. But being the voice of the company at the job sites was not an easy task. He took it seriously. It was a responsibility…a burden of sorts. It had hurt that his brothers hadn’t seen his value, had only seen him as trouble.

Then after Seth had asked him to leave, his burden had become starting over from scratch and making something of himself. Alone. No money. No contacts. No help. And he’d done that. Until they’d bought his mortgage.

Now his burden had become trying to hold
on to the ranch—and not for himself, for his partner. If he failed to get the mortgage money to his brothers’ lawyer on time, his partner, Dave, would lose the money he’d invested, too.

There was no way Cooper would let that happen. So, Zoe Montgomery was wrong. He wasn’t selfish.

He was who he was.

But if he didn’t somehow make her understand the difference between being burdened and being selfish, she was going to imitate all the wrong things and it would be his fault.

That
was the part of the situation that made him the most angry. He stayed out of other people’s lives not merely because he was inconsiderate, but also because he always screwed things up when he got involved. Now, he would have to fix the impression he’d unwittingly given Zoe.

The only way he could do that would be to talk to her again and if he talked to her again, there was a possibility he’d make a bigger mess of things. Worse, there was also the possibility that he’d like her even more than he already did. He’d fought it and fought it and fought it, but the woman was just plain nice and funny and pretty. But he was trouble. The absolute last thing she needed in her life was a man like him.

The next morning, Zoe awakened feeling miserable. Now that Cooper Bryant had gotten to know her, even he didn’t want to sleep with her. Could a woman get any lower? Sure, he’d tried to pretend he’d lost the bet, but it was abundantly clear to Zoe that he hadn’t so much
lost the bet
as he’d
lost interest.
He’d heard her story and metaphorically run for his life.

She slipped out of bed, changed
Daphne, then took her to the kitchen for some cereal and a bottle. She made a pot of coffee and toast but Cooper still didn’t come downstairs. With a sigh, Zoe put Daphne on the blanket on the floor in the center of the great room, turned on the TV and sunk on to the sofa.

After an hour, Daphne played herself out and fell asleep on the comforter, but there was still no sound from Cooper. Zoe turned and peered up the stairs. She suspected Cooper was avoiding contact with her, but it seemed odd he hadn’t come down for coffee. She walked to the French doors to stare outside and suddenly realized that the second storm had stopped. It was even somewhat sunny.

A horrible thought paralyzed her. The snowplow could have come through the night before. If it had, Cooper could have gone.

And why wouldn’t he? The details of her life had made him uncomfortable. So uncomfortable, he couldn’t even bring himself to sleep with her. If he’d heard the snowplow in the middle of the night he could have taken advantage of the opportunity to skip out.

Something inside Zoe snapped. After four days of being stuck together, he hadn’t even had the decency to say goodbye. Was anybody ever going to stick with her to the end of anything?

Wanting to confirm her worst fear so she could get really angry and stop being such a schmuck about people, Zoe bounded up the steps. When she reached the top, she turned into the bedroom she knew Cooper was using and stopped dead in her tracks.

He wasn’t gone. He was
still asleep.

She took another step into the room. Seeing him tucked under the covers sent a shaft of pure, unadulterated relief through her, but it also confused her. Not once during their stay had he slept in. More than that, even if the snowplow hadn’t gone through last night, both she and Cooper expected it to come by today sometime. He should be up and packing, or, at the very least, pacing, dying to leave.

She walked to the bed and peered down at his face. Oh, Lord! His cheeks were red. His brow was dewy with fever-induced sweat. She and her daughter had both exposed him to their virus. She squeezed her eyes shut in misery. She shouldn’t be surprised he had caught it, too. But that didn’t stop the guilt that spiraled through her. She had been nothing but trouble to this man.

She shook his shoulder. “Cooper?”

He mumbled.

“Cooper, I want you to get up and come downstairs so you can sleep in the bedroom with the bathroom.”

He mumbled again.

“That’s the spirit,” she said, knowing his mumble didn’t necessarily mean he was alert, but at least he was awake. She gingerly began to lift the blanket so he could climb out of bed. “Come on. I’ll help you walk.”

“I’m fine.” He took the cover from her hand and put it back where it had been. “I know I have what you and Daphne had. I also know it’s smarter to be in the bedroom with the bathroom. But I’m…well, naked under these covers.”

She stepped back.

He sort of laughed. “I’m harmless, but I still have my pride. Leave. I’ll be down.”

Zoe did as he said. Telling herself
not to dwell on the fact that she had nearly seen him naked, she ran to the bedroom she was using and quickly gathered Daphne’s things. By the time she was done, Cooper was at the bottom of the steps. Though he had put on jeans and a T-shirt, he was also wrapped in the blanket from his bed.

“Just go ahead in and go back to sleep. Daphne and I will be as quiet as we can.”

“Great,” he rasped, then stumbled into the room.

He closed the door behind him, and Zoe breathed a sigh of relief. But when three hours passed without hearing a sound from him, she decided to make sure he was okay. She sneaked into the room and placed her hand on his forehead. It was hot, but he was sleeping soundly and there wasn’t anything she could do for him, so she left.

In the great room she paced, watched TV, then paced some more before she fed Daphne lunch and played with her. When Daphne fell asleep in her drawer, Zoe sneaked into the bedroom again to look in on Cooper. Though he slept soundly and there was no reason to stay in the room, Zoe stood by his bed, mesmerized.

His face was still shiny with fever, and his dark hair was disheveled from a restless sleep, but he was still the most handsome man Zoe had ever seen. She had nearly fainted when he’d kissed her. And, yeah, he was grumpy and self-centred, but he had a kind heart. Whether it was smart or not she liked him.

She took a quick breath. She liked him a lot. That was why she had been so troubled when she’d thought he had left without saying goodbye. Though he tried to pretend he was
The Grinch Who Stole Christmas,
deep down inside he was a good guy. In his story of his life, she had seen a man who had faced adversity and won. She had seen a man who still respected the very brothers who didn’t want him around. She had seen a man who was genuine and honest. Even the way he’d stopped the poker game the day before proved he had integrity. Unfortunately, it also quite clearly said he didn’t feel about her what she was realizing she felt about him.

Confused by how she could be letting
herself fall for another man whose feelings didn’t match hers, she sat on the edge of the bed. When her weight shifted the mattress, he opened his eyes and she smiled. “You’re up.”

“If you want to call it that.”

Trying not to succumb to guilt over being the one who had given him the virus, she laid her hand across his forehead. “You feel a little hotter than I remember being.”

“I’m fine.”

“I’m sure you are, but it still worries me.”

He laughed.

“You think it’s funny that I worry?” she asked, knowing darned well he thought her a sap and knowing as well as he did that she was going to have to change.

“No, I do not think it’s funny that you worry. I was just trying to recall,” he said, his voice slow and tired, “the last person who worried about me.” He took a breath. “This is the other side of that life of mine that you’re trying to learn to copy. This is the empty side.” He caught her hand and his weary eyes held hers. “This is what you don’t want, Zoe. It’s okay for me to be alone. I know how to nurse myself through illnesses that come along. I can entertain myself on lonely nights. I don’t need a breakfast companion. But I don’t think it would be okay for you.”

She looked down at his hand
holding hers. Strong callused fingers gripped hers firmly, as if he wanted to be certain she paid attention. But there was also comfort in the gesture, and a strange notion occurred to her. She’d thought he’d stopped the poker game because he was no longer interested in sleeping with her, but what if the conversation had caused him to see enough about her that he was beginning to like her the same way she liked him? He’d appeared angry, but what if that was because he’d recognized he was starting to care about her and he didn’t want to?

She stared at their joined hands. Now that he had her attention, he could let her hand go, yet he didn’t. It seemed odd that he would allow himself such a quiet gesture of affection, but she realized he might be too sick to fight his feelings. Maybe too sick to understand that something so sweet and simple as holding her hand meant a hundred times more to her than his wonderful, deep kiss had.

“And another thing,” he said quietly, then swallowed as if the slight conversation was exhausting him. “Don’t get all invested in the idea that you need to be selfish. That’s just going to ruin your life.”

Her eyes filled with tears. He
did
care. He cared enough to fight his own need to sleep to prevent her from making a mistake. However, she wasn’t kidding herself. Cooper was also a loner and loners didn’t hang around to help sort through problems. He might like her enough to clear up a misinterpretation, but he wasn’t the kind of guy who would work with her to fix what she had done wrong.

All the same, she’d reached
her limit. Living her life longing for something she was never going to get was killing her. At the very least, it was killing her spirit.

“I’ve got to do something, Cooper,” she said, staring at their entwined fingers, wishing he were different, wishing he would stay, yet knowing if he were anybody but the stubborn, quiet, determined guy she was coming to know she wouldn’t feel the same about him. She liked that he stood his ground, knew his mind, only went after what he wanted. Even though that also meant he stayed away from her.

“I’m sort of breaking. You know how everybody has that point where they can’t keep up what they’re doing anymore because it’s hurting more than helping? That’s where I am.”

“You’ve got to find a way to keep going.”

She shook her head. “I’m out of ways.”

He took a breath and closed his eyes. “When I feel better, we’ll brainstorm.”

She smiled. “Right.”

“I mean it.”

His reply came out so slow and sluggish, Zoe knew it would only be a matter of seconds before he drifted off to sleep again. But he still had hold of her hand.

The pool of tears in her eyes expanded to overflowing. Whether he knew it or not, Cooper Bryant had real feelings for her. And she, well, she was falling in love with him.

“Why don’t you stay in my life and help me figure out what I’m supposed to be doing?” she asked, half hoping he had fallen asleep because she suspected she already knew the answer. He might have feelings for her, but he didn’t want them. He liked his life free of responsibilities. Women in general were a responsibility for men. But a woman with a baby and a past was a burden.

“I’m not the best person
to help you figure out anything.” He drew a tired breath. “Besides, I don’t have time.”

“Have you ever tried making time?”

“Did I neglect to tell you about Bonnie?”

Zoe laughed. The fact that he compared her to an old girlfriend, not his brothers, not his partner, not a friend, was very telling and it gave her the courage to be honest. “Things between us would be different. I would be smart enough to know to give you space. I would know how to live with you, Cooper. I wouldn’t get in your way.”