Snowbound (11 page)

They always do, John said. Nothing like half a dozen teenagers squeezing into the small room with him and Fiona to kill the mood.

But they might be in a hurry or something.

They probably know were here, Fiona pointed out. She had grabbed an already folded towel and started refolding it the minute the door opened. You know Mr. Schneider probably let the highway department know we were stranded up here.

You mean, you think theyre actually
looking
for us? Kelli marveled at the idea.

Maybe we made the news, speculated someone just out of sight. Amy. Had to be Amy. High School Students Stranded. Enraptured, she capitalized every word. They probably interviewed our parents and showed pictures of us and everything.

Were famous. Hopper poked his head between Kelli and Tabitha. Wow. Well be girl magnets.

Guy
magnets, Kelli amended.

A babble of voices ensued. Fionas eyes met Johns, every-so-briefly. Amusement, disbelief. Despite her mussed hair, pink cheeks and swollen lipsand, oh yeah, the closed laundry room doorher students hadnt given a thought to what she and John had been doing.

They were adults. Invisible. Not worth speculating about.

Okay, okay, she said, raising her voice in that way
only teachers could do, effortlessly slicing through the babble and bringing silence. John? Should we all bundle up and go out?

He shook his head. Not yet. Ill go up and meet them. Dieter, Troy, Hopper. You three, too, in case we need the manpower to get the van back on the road.

Yes! They scattered, taking the protesting girls with them. Why couldnt
they
go, too? They were strong! They could

You okay? John asked Fiona.

She nodded and set the now twiceor was it thrice?folded towel onto the stack. You?

He nodded ruefully. They were good as a cold shower.

Icy. She sighed. Were still leaving you with work. Including dirty dishes.

Ill have nothing else to do after youre gone, he pointed out, resisting the temptation to touch her again.

Yeah, you will. Ill bet you can hardly wait to reclaim your blessed solitude.

Right this minute, solitude isnt what Im craving. He gave her a look that widened her eyes.

But the door into the kitchen swung open, and a voice called, Mr. Fallon? It sounds like the plow stopped. Do you think theyve gotten to your road?

Im coming, he called, then backed a couple of steps from Fiona. Tearing his gaze from her was downright painful. He limped toward his room.

The boys were waiting impatiently when he emerged in boots and shrugging on his parka. Gloves in the pocketyep. Polartec hat in the othercheck.

Pros with the snowshoes, they made it up the hill faster than John would have liked. By then, the plow had reached the van and come to a stop, the blade a foot or two from the bumper.

John greeted the men who emerged, recognizing faces from last winter. Glad you could make it.

Just sorry it took so long. Been a busy weekend, the bearded guy said.

Heard even Portland got buried.

Six inches. Can you believe it? Damn near closed down the city. Had the traffic slip-sliding away.

John shook his head. I can imagine.

Well. The man surveyed the boys. You three part of the Willamette Prep group?

They nodded. Did we make the TV news? Hopper asked.

Mightve. He chewed for a minute, then spat a stream of brown tobacco juice. Yeah, a couple of groups from that Knowledge thingWhat was it, somethin like a football game? Anyway, a couple of groups didnt make it back.

A couple? John knew the first thing Fiona would ask. Is the group from the other school okay?

Yeah, they were stuck up Government Camp way. He nodded roughly north, toward Mt. Hood. That road got plowed a while ago.

Relieved, he nodded.

They turned their attention to the problem of getting the van back on the road. Finally, Dieter got electedbecause he was skinny and capableof lowering himself into the soft snow and shinnying under the van
to wrap a chain around the axle. They dragged him back out, clutching the end of the chain. Then, with the snowplow pulling and the boys pushing, the van bumped back onto the road.

It took a hell of a lot longer to turn it around. The plow widened the road as much as possible. Then John got behind the wheel and backed up, inched forward, backed again, while everyone else pushed, until the damn thing faced uphill.

Predictably the boys cheered and gave each other high-fives. John felt branded as the cripple who hadnt been able to pull his weight. Telling himself none of the boys had the skill to maneuver the vehicle under such difficult conditions helped about as much as a skinny bandage on a bone-deep gash. The truth was, he couldnt have been much use. His leg and hip wouldnt have stood up to the strain at the same time as his feet were slipping in the snow.

Face it: he
was
a cripple.

The highway guys introduced themselves to the kids, and everyone shook hands. John expected to be seeing the two men regularly this winter. Not likely nature would throw a temper tantrum like this in November and then turn mild and easygoing come December and January. John figured it would pay to be on good terms with the guys who had to dig him out every time the snow came down.

After some discussion, they backed the plow out to the highway and John followed with the van so that they could finish plowing his road down to the lodge. Otherwise, he wouldnt be able to get out with his SUV.

Time could be elastic; he knew that. For example, getting stuck on an observation post during your tour in Iraq. Youve donned full combat gear and body armor, made sure you have five hundred rounds of ammunition for the machine gun youre carrying, then have to go stand or sit in full sun120 degrees. Sweat pouring down your face, soaking your uniform. Time didnt just crawl, it eked. What had to be half an hour would pass, youd look at your watch and see that the hand had hardly moved at all.

In contrast, the next hour here and now sped by. He couldnt believe how fast it passed. Within minutes, it seemed, Fiona and the kids were dressed in the clothes in which theyd arrived and were ready to set out, purses and bookbags in hand. Their faces glowed with eagerness. Fiona was back in teacher mode, worrying that theyd forgotten something, thanking him effusively as if he were their rescuer and not the man whod kissed her senseless barely sixty minutes ago.

Next thing he knew, hed started up his 4Runner and driven them in two separate groups up to the van at the top of the hill. Once they were out and waiting for Fiona to unlock, their voices rang out as they shared plans.

Man, Im glad Ive got TiVo. Hopper slapped his gloved hands together to keep them warm. Im going to watch big-screen, plasma TV for eight straight hours.

Several wanted to get together with friends. Tabitha apparently had a boyfriend who was going to be, like,
so
glad to see her. Movies, the mall, their cars.

Dieter was hoping to go skiing. Its going to be
awesome,
he assured everyone.

Climbing into the van, Tabitha gave him a look over her shoulder. You havent had enough snow?

As usual, Willow and Erin stayed quiet. Erin becauseJohn didnt know. Because she was above their juvenile excitement? And Willow because she had no friends?

Maybe he was wrong. Maybe she had plenty.

John stood beside Fiona as the kids piled in. His hip was giving savage warning that hed suffer later for todays activities, but he needed to see them off.

Sure,
he mocked himself.
That was it. Didnt have anything to do with his unwillingness to say goodbye to Fiona.

He couldnt tell from her face whether she was sorry at all to be leaving. Shed enjoyed kissing him, he didnt doubt that. She was intrigued by him. Maybe he had some kind of mystique, the physically
and
emotionally scarred veteran. Could be she even liked him.

But she wasnt stealing anguished looks his way, or asking if hed call. She seemed focused on her students, promising that their cell phones would work in about an hour or two and they could call home.

Right? she asked him.

He nodded. Once you pass Danson.

Seat belts on, Fiona ordered, as the kids already in the van squabbled about who sat where.

That was
my
seat.

What difference does it make?

Because I get carsick if Im not by the window. Amy, of course.

Amy, Fiona interjected, theres an empty seat in
the back by the window. You can have it. No, Dieter, youre not sitting in front. School rules.

But you let me

When I needed another pair of eyes. Now I dont. In back.

He whined, but good-humoredly, not as if hed actually expected to be able to sit in front. He was just giving Ms. Mac a hard time.

John stood there dumbly thinking,
But I was just kissing her. We just heard the kids yelling, Ms. Mac! Ms. Mac! We hear the snowplow!

They couldnt already be leaving.

They were. Doors slammed, and, keys dangling from her mittened hand, she turned to face him.

Thank you again.

Dont keep thanking me, he said, rough and suddenly angry. I did what any decent person would have done.

But you took really good care of us. I cant say thank you for that?

Her astonishment and hurt helped him recognize his anger for what it really waspanic.

Yeah. Yeah, you can, he said gruffly. Youre welcome.

Her gaze became shyer. If you get down to Portland

He nodded, took a moment to find his voice. Ill call.

Good. Fiona gave him a shaky smile. Im glad. And Ill e-mail when we get home safe and sound.

He nodded. Shed promised earlier.

Then She hesitated. For now, goodbye.

He nodded. Take it slow.

Despite my idiocy the other day, I
am
a good driver.

He nodded again. What else could he do? Grab her?

A couple of the kids banged the flats of their hands against the windows. Ms. Mac! Lets go!

Apologetically Fiona said, They really had a good time

And now they want to go home. Its okay. Go.

So she did. She got behind the wheel, started up the engine, waved and drove away. Some of the kids turned and waved, too, and John lifted his hand in response. ThenGodhe just stood there as the van gradually accelerated into a curve of highway and passed out of sight.

For a minute, he heard the engine. Then he was left with silence, a hip that hurt like a son of a bitch, and the solitude theyd interrupted.

I
N HER REARVIEW MIRROR
,
John Fallon looked so alone standing there backed only by snow and the deep green of the forest, Fiona had to swallow to ease the pressure in her chest.

He
wanted
to be alone, she reminded herself. Hed bought Thunder Mountain Lodge because of the solitude it offered. It was silly for her to feel sad for him when hed probably do a little jig the minute they were out of sight and he had his peace and quiet back again.

Still, as she drove down the freshly plowed mountain pass, she couldnt shake the memory of him watching them go, unmoving until she could no longer see him in the mirror.

If hed been glad to see them go, wouldnt he have turned away as soon as theyd climbed into the van and she had started up the engine? Her heart cramped. Would he have kissed her with such desperation if hed wanted to reclaim his solitude?

She tried to remember the man he was when they first arrived, spare with words and sometimes curt with her or the kids to the point of rudeness. Somehow, she couldnt quite conjure him up. Instead she remembered
the smiling man who persuaded her to dive into the snowbank, the patient man who answered Dieters endless questions, the passionate man whose touch was also tender.

And, though she talked to the kids and concentrated on her driving, Fiona felt an ache grow under her breastbone, one she could only identify as a kind of grief. She missed him terribly, although she didnt know how she could when four days ago she hadnt known him and would have sworn she was happy with her life just as it was.

They passed through Danson, slowing to obey the posted speed limit of twenty-five. Fiona craned her neck to take in the small business district. He must buy his groceries at that Safeway store, a contrast to the false-fronted buildings on the main street. Was Thunder Mountain Real Estate, housed in a log house, the one that handled the lodges reservations? She imagined him filling the tank of his SUV at the gas station, going into the old-fashioned-looking drug store, nodding at passersby as he walked down the wooden sidewalk. Did he have friends in town, or did he avoid growing close with anyone? she wondered.

As she accelerated, leaving the small town with its Old West look behind, Fiona felt a sense of loss, as if the last link with John Fallon was fraying. Then she rolled her eyes at her own foolishness. For Petes sake, she was acting like a lovesick teenager! Symptoms with which she was all too familiar, given that she spent more time with high school kids than she did with adults. Heck, maybe teenage angst was catching!

Why are you making faces? Dieter asked from right behind her.

Hastily she schooled her features. Am I?

I saw you. In the mirror. With your face all scrunched up.

Just thinking, she said. You know well have school tomorrow, dont you?

Tabitha leaned forward, one hand on the shoulder-harness of her seat belt. I dont even remember what day it is.

Knowledge Champs was on Friday, and we spent three nights at the lodge. She counted again, astonished that their stay had been so brief. Which makes today Monday, she concluded.

I can do a four-day week, Tabitha decided. Especially with next week short because of Thanksgiving.

What about my TV marathon? Hopper complained from farther back in the van. Maybe I can act all traumatized, so my parents let me stay home tomorrow.

But itll be cool to see everybody, Tabitha argued. And weve already missed two days. I wouldnt want to get farther behind in my classes.

We wont in Ms. Macs! several voices caroled.

Do you suppose they had a substitute teaching your classes? Kelli asked.

Friday, sure, but there might not have been any school today. Remember, it snowed heavily down there, too.

Yeah! Dieter cheered. We can go home and build snowmen!

You are such a little kid, Amy told him dismissively.

In the rearview mirror, Fiona saw him laugh, but she thought Amys put-down had stung. She wasnt the only one to think so, because Willow smiled at him and said, I like to build snowmen, too.

He grinned at her. Hey, cool. Where do you live?

Fiona tuned them out again. She felt amazingly ill-prepared to teach classes tomorrow. It was going to take some thought to remember where shed left off last week. Shed have to grocery shop before she went home, or thered be no breakfast tomorrow. And, oh goody, laundry tonight, too, since shed meant to do it Saturday. As if she hadnt done nine hundred loads of laundry this weekend, trying to keep up with the towels and wet clothes for ten people. Of course, her housework had been waiting for the weekend, too, but it could wait again until next Saturday.

Real life was such fun.

The kids got out their cell phones and called parents and friends. Fiona waited until she stopped for gas and for everyone to get a chance to use a rest room and get drinks. Then she phoned Dave Schneider, estimating how long it would take them to arrive back at the school and promising to call when they got closer.

They pulled into the parking lot by the gymnasium at Willamette Prep just before dark. Cars clustered by the building. Fiona was surprised to see how much snow still lay on the ground, although the roads and parking lots were now bare except for occasional thin sheets of ice. Her neck and shoulders ached, and she was grateful
to pull into a slot, set the emergency brake and turn off the engine.

The principal, middle-aged and balding, broke away from the group of parents and came around to Fionas side of the van as the kids flung open the side sliding door and bounded out. He looked so relieved to see her, she realized how much pressure hed been under as the responsible school official here.

As they talked, Fiona was vaguely aware of excited voices and parents embracing their offspring. The only ones whose parents hadnt come were Troy and Erin, who had both left their own cars in the lot. Shed noticed themwith snow still piled atop roofs, hoods and trunksas shed pulled in. Her own in the faculty parking lot would look the same. Scraping the wind shield was just what she felt like doing.

Fiona handed over the keys to the principal, who nodded toward the group of students and parents. Doesnt sound like any of you suffered too much at this lodge.

No, I think the kids actually had a really good time. We were lucky, she admitted. If we hadnt been able to reach the lodge An involuntary shudder ran through her.

It was a bad decision on both our parts, he said frankly. Im as responsible as you are. I looked at a map, too. It seemed logical.

What I didnt see on the map is that the pass closes for the winter.

He grimaced. I did notice. But its only November. I never dreamed

Apparently it often closes in late November.

He shook his head. Next time conditions look worrisome, Ill authorize you to put up in a hotel instead of trying to make it home.

She gave a weak laugh. Thank you.

Do you need some time off? I can get a sub for tomorrow.

The idea was tempting, but she shook her head. We cant expect the kids to show up tomorrow morning if I dont.

Youre sure?

She nodded.

Ms. MacPherson? Dieters mom had come around the back of the van. We just wanted to say thanks. You must be exhausted.

She was, Fiona realized in surprise. She felt as if someone had just pulled the plug, and all the nervous energy that had kept her going was draining out. Even her legs felt a little shaky.

The kids were great, she said, especially Dieter. Thank heavens he remembered Thunder Mountain Lodge and recognized the turnoff even though the sign was buried in snow.

She laughed. Dieter never forgets anything. It can actually be a little bit annoying sometimes. In this case, though

He was our lifesaver.

Other parents came around to thank her as well. Nobody, thank goodness, seemed to think shed been irresponsible. She was lucky that the storm had hit Hawes Ferry as well, so the parents could imagine the conditions that had stranded their children.

She was especially interested to meet Willows dad, who was thin, balding and as unassuming in appearance as his daughter. Behind his glasses, she thought she saw some moisture in his eyes. Of all the parents, he had the most reason to have been truly afraid when Willow didnt make it back from the field trip.

As car doors slammed and voices called goodbye, she looked around to see that Troy and Erin were together scraping snow from the roof and windshield of Erins car. His was already swept clean and idled beside hers, exhaust hanging in the cold air. Apparently theyd joined forces, or else hed been gentleman enough to insist on driving her to her car and helping her get safely on her way home. Troy had grown on Fiona this weekend; he might be participating in Knowledge Champs only to pad his rsum for college, but hed been mature and uncomplaining through their whole stay at the lodge, staying out of the occasional bickering. He and Erin were simply more grown up than the others.

With night falling, the sodium lamps around the parking lot began to blink on as cars pulled out. Dave had remained, and he drove Fiona to her car on the other side of the campus, even helping by sweeping snow off it while she scraped the windshield and the engine warmed up.

Then they said good night, the last two cars to leave the high school.

Fiona reluctantly stopped for groceries and carried them into her small, rented town house. Shed turned the heat down last Friday morning, so it was cold and
dark but for the one lamp shed left on in the living room. Even before putting groceries away, she turned up the thermostat, hearing the furnace come on with a muted roar. A fire would feel good, but she had no fireplace. If the builder had bothered, it probably would have been one of those gas ones that were all show and put out no real heat, nothing like the huge, river rock fireplace capable of heating the entire lodge.

She put away the perishables, then went to her computer. It was silly, of course; John had probably gone down to town this afternoon to load up on groceries, and might not make it back to check e-mail for days or even a week. It wasnt as if he was waiting by his computer for her e-mail. But shed promised to let him know right away when they arrived safely, and shed do it.

Once the computer had booted and shed gone online, she skimmed the handful of e-mails that had arrived while she was gone and deleted the spam, then called up the screen for a new message. She typed in the address hed given her for his private email, then typed Dear John before stopping.

Too formal. Hed kissed her that morning, dragged her so tightly against him that shed felt every contour of his body and the full length of his erection. Even the memory was enough to arouse her.

Why couldnt she feel this way for someone more
convenient?
Why a man so damaged emotionally, he might never be willing to leave his refuge in the mountains?

She started over.

John,

We made it safe and sound. Roads were mostly bare past Danson, just icy in spots. A happy group of parents met us. I was lucky. They all thanked me instead of asking how I could have been so dumb as to choose some skinny line on the map and assume it was a safe route. And my principal said he was taking responsibility for the decision, too. So I guess I still have a job. One Ill be back at tomorrow morning at eight-thirty sharp.

Too chatty? Fiona reread and decided what shed written thus far was okay. Now to wind it up on a friendly note that didnt assume anything.

Ill put in a request for some reimbursement for you, as I promised. We ate an awful lot of food! And no, Im not saying thank you again, because I know youd hate that. Justtake care. And please do call me if you get down to the Portland area. We could go to the multiplex and watch three movies in a row if you want.

Of course, she could think of other things they might prefer to do.

Her fingers wanted to type Love, Fiona, but she made herself end with just her name. Not letting herself agonize over what shed written, Fiona hit Send.

Staring at the screen, her chest feeling hollow, she wondered if shed ever hear from John again.

J
OHN NEEDED TO SHOP
in the worst way, but he held off going until Tuesday morning. Just didnt feel like
making the trip, he tried to tell himself, but knew better. He wanted to hear from Fiona, and she wouldnt have a chance to e-mail until Monday evening.

The small public library had one computer for private use. When he arrived, it was occupied by a white-haired woman who was apparently receiving her first lesson in Web surfing from the librarian. She kept saying, Oh, my! and then, Oh, dear, what did I do?

Hiding his impatience, he browsed the small collection of new titles, choosing a couple to check out. About the time he was ready to explode, the old lady finally pushed back her chair, babbling on about what an experience that had been and how now she could understand the fascination the Web had for her grandkids.

I feel like Im so behind the times, she told the librarian as he slid into the chair in front of the computer before she was two feet away.

It had been a while since hed bothered to check his e-mail, and he found he had quite a few. A couple of buddies back for another tour in Iraq had sent e-mails, both short, obscene and funny. He had no trouble reading between the lines, though, and like an old-time, flickering movie projector, he caught scenes of them in uniform, one carrying a woman in full, blood-soaked robes who was obviously dead, the other running with his pants around his ankles when a bomb landed beside the latrine.

But he wrote back in the same tone, keeping to himself the nightmares and flashbacks, instead telling them about the snowstorm and the pretty women he regularly had as guests at the lodge.

Then he skipped over the e-mails from his mother and his sisters, clicking on the one from Mizzmack. Cute, he thought, letting her kids choose her screen name.

His heart hammered as he read her short e-mail, then hungrily reread it. It sounded just like her. He could almost hear her friendly voice, amusement quivering in it.
See?
she seemed to be saying.
I managed to thank you while making a point of
not
thanking you.