Smolder (St. Martin Family Saga) (6 page)

“That’s bullshit! Tell me why you don’t want me.”

She sat back on her heels and dropped her head. “I never said that. I want you, sometimes so badly I can’t even think straight, but I can’t let myself give in to that emotion, that desire.” Her voice was low, defeated. “It would be easy for me to let you do everything, but then where would I be when you decided to leave us?”

He stepped forward and grasped her hands in his. “I swear to you it wouldn’t be that way.”

Her head shook with ferocity. She whispered, “You can’t make promises like that, Camp. No one can.”

He clasped her cheek in his hand and tried to think like her.

She’d been through so much already, including relationships with men who no doubt thought they could deal with Andrew if doing so meant they would have Jenny and all her sex and beauty. But there was much more to love than that, to being together and creating a family, and the negative aspects had outweighed the positives and they’d bolted.

“You’re right; no one can promise forever. But if you marry me, you become part of my family. It would give you the insurance you need and if anything were to happen to me, you would have any number of people willing to help you, willing to call you family, loving you and Andrew unconditionally.”

She was as still as a wooden statue as she stared off into the distance.

Camp bent and gently kissed her lips. “Jenny, I love you. Marry me.”

Her breath escaped on a gasp as her hands reached up to cup his cheek. “Camp, I think I love you too, but I’m not ready to marry you. I don’t know if I will ever be. Can you be okay with that? I know how you get when you want something, and I’m not convinced you’ll just let us be as we are, no more marriage talk.” She ran a thumb across his lower lip. “But that’s all I can do right now. Can you accept that?”

No, he wouldn’t be able to not constantly think of making her take his name, but he’d hold that information close to his chest.

“I can if it means keeping your love.”

But she’d marry him eventually, by God. Even if he had to force her. And she wouldn’t be able to claim that she didn’t expect that of him.

Yeah, he’d come to know her, understand her. But she knew him as well. She’d never be able to pretend that she didn’t expect him to try to get his way by any means necessary.

7

J
enny sat on
the porch sipping hot tea and reading a book. Something she hadn’t been able to do in a while—just be—no responsibilities, no next meal to prepare, no clothes to wash. Jenny had put her trust in Camp. She trusted him when he said, which he often did, that they would build a life together. That they would find their way and that Andrew was part of it. She’d thought he was crazy when he’d asked her to marry him, but she’d agreed to move to his family estate and see how things went. Plus Andrew had made it clear a few weeks ago that he wanted to be closer to Camp when he’d abruptly packed up his belongings and told her he was leaving to go live with Camp.

She had been beside herself with joy that Andrew actually wanted to include Camp, so much so that he wanted to leave the safety of his own home. She hadn’t had to talk him into anything. It was almost the reverse with Camp and Andrew trying to convince her moving to the estate was a good idea.

They decided to keep the home she had in Baton Rouge; she wasn’t ready to let it go. That had been a bit of an issue because Camp thought she was keeping it in case things with him didn’t work out. He’d tied her facedown to their bed until she swore to him that above all else, she did trust him when he said they would be together forever. Thinking back on that afternoon had her thighs moistening with need for him. She loved how he took what he wanted and gave exactly what she needed.

They moved into the large estate and let Andrew fix his room to his liking. He did a rodeo theme. Jenny didn’t know where he’d picked up an interest in rodeo, but he followed professional bull riders, horse riders, and barrel racers. Everything. The estate seemed to agree with Andrew. Cory and Brook even gave him a yellow lab puppy. To Jenny’s astonishment, Andrew was independently caring for the dog. Camp had posted a daily-dog-duties checklist, and Andrew followed it to the letter. Camp had told him that if he didn’t follow the list, the dog would have to go live with Cory and Brook, who would follow the rules.

It seemed Campbell St. Martin had a knack for working with Andrew, and it was clear Andrew loved Camp. His eyes would follow him across the room or the yard, wherever he went. Andrew was always asking Camp where he was going, so Camp had taken to announcing his plans even if he was just going to the bathroom. His accommodations for Andrew made Jenny laugh.

Andrew had even picked up some of Camp’s bad habits, like eating Oreo cookies for breakfast. The sitter had been working out too. She was very patient with Andrew. Since Andrew was seventeen, Camp advised her to supervise him while letting his independence flourish. Jenny had laughed at that. Here she’d just been trying to survive, tread water, and Camp had an entire philosophy for dealing with her brother.

Eventually Camp’s father came home, and Andrew took to him as well. He’d said to Jenny, “There’s two of them.” She’d only nodded, wondering what he’d say when he met Cash.

Camp had wanted to introduce his large family slowly so Andrew wasn’t overwhelmed.

Instead Jenny was the one overwhelmed. By Camp’s generosity and patience and tenderness.

≈

They’d all been together at the estate for six weeks. It was Saturday morning and Jenny was feeling particularly overjoyed at how well the transitions in her life had played out. She stretched deep and long, not ready to leave the warm soft cocoon she shared with Camp, who was still asleep. She couldn’t believe how good Camp was with Andrew. He was better with him than all the therapists combined. He seemed to understand Andrew’s need for rules and clear expectations. She knew from working with Camp that he was overly particular about organization and lists and schedule systems. That had always been hard for her since she wasn’t a planner, but Andrew had forced her to plan things out. And Andrew had taken to Camp like a child with a new puppy. She was amazed whenever she watched them together, especially each time Andrew did something he’d never done. Like the day he hugged Camp.

Her heart had overflowed with joy when Andrew wrapped his arms around Camp. Camp had smiled and hugged him back, and then the two of them had continued with their task—washing Camp’s truck—with nothing else said. Jenny had fought off happy tears for hours.

She knew she loved Camp, and she’d tried to tell him several times. He didn’t seem to have any problem getting the words out and was always telling her how much she meant to him.

“Camp?”

He slowly came to at her words. He grabbed at his morning hard-on and let out a long satisfied groan. “Come ride me.”

Jenny complied and climbed across his lap.

“Turn around,” Camp commanded.

He loved watching her take him in that position. As she turned, her sex rubbed his cock and once she was in place, she leaned forward on her hands, exposing herself to Camp. He held his cock in his hands until her warmth fully swallowed his erection. She took him so slowly it was painful.

It must have been painful, the good kind of painful, for Camp too. He groaned as she took the final inch of him.

Jenny knew how he liked it. Once his penis opened her channel enough, she leaned forward and arched her ass up by placing her chest closer to his legs. Camp was visual, and every time she arched up, he moaned. She liked to look back at him as he watched, his focus intense, where their bodies connected.

“Ride my cock with your tight little cunt.”

She started rocking down and back. He groaned out expletives.

“God, I can see you, feel you, gripping me like a fist.”

She arched herself into a wave motion and repeatedly slid up and down. He would let her lead for a while, but he always ended up taking over. This morning was no exception. Jenny loved his dominance and when he grasped her hips and held her in place while he pistoned hard and fast into her, she became lost in his consumption.

When he released her hips, she resumed her wave motion. She knew what was about to happen when he ran his middle finger through their moisture. He massaged the ring of muscle at her ass and inserted his finger slowly, all the way. While she rode him, he turned the finger inside her and pulled it out to the first knuckle and then thrust it back in harder.

“Are you going to come?”

“Yes.”

“Touch yourself, let me hear you.”

As she came she told him, “I love you more than you could ever know.”

He turned them until he was on top. He kissed her forehead, each of her eyes, her nose, and to the side of each of her lips. He smiled down at her as he whispered, “I’ve waited a lifetime to hear you say that. Tell me again.”

“I love you.”

He held her face, his eyes never leaving hers, as he loved her tenderly.

And he held her when she sobbed out her release.

Then she held him while he drew word pictures of how wonderful their life was going to be.

After she declared her love, the days ran together. Life on the estate was great. Too great, Jenny thought. Since when had her life ever run like clockwork? She knew the answer—since she had submitted to Camp.

With an autistic brother, Jenny had always been on alert. So she expected something to happen. Something always did. Things could go from calm to chaotic in a matter of seconds. But she was learning to rely on Camp. He’d promised to share some of the burden, and she’d promised to let him.

But with Andrew, there was no way to know what would trigger the chaos. However, on one particular day she knew to be on high alert. It was the anniversary of their parents’ deaths and every year, Andrew had been aware of the date. Around seven in the morning, Jenny left Camp asleep in their bed and went to check in with her brother. She wanted to confirm he was dealing with the significance of this day in a healthy manner and to let him know that if he wanted smiley-face pancakes, she would make them. It was high time he gave up the Oreo fetish.

When she opened the door to his room, he wasn’t there. She checked the bathroom, but he wasn’t there either. She frantically started opening all the doors along the hallway and calling out his name.

≈

When Camp heard the alarm in Jenny’s voice, he was up in a flash. He grabbed a pair of jeans and ran to the sound of her voice.

“Camp! I can’t find Andrew.”

He took the stairs three at a time. He searched the kitchen, living areas, den, dining room, and solarium. From the enclosed glass solarium at the back of the main house, he saw that the stable door was ajar. He knew he had latched it last night, and no one else would have left it open.

Camp hurriedly made his way to the stables. He called for Andrew, but it was no use. Dreamer was gone. He did a quick search and saw the saddle and helmet on the wall. Maybe Andrew was simply walking the horse. Camp jumped on an all terrain vehicle and set out in search of the horse and boy. They weren’t in the paddock and Camp thought Andrew must be riding the horse. That would not be good. Andrew had only ever sat the horse in the paddock in full dress and with Camp leading.

Camp drove far out on the property and was about to head back when he saw Dreamer. The horse was on the other side of the fence, indicating that Andrew must have jumped the horse. Camp screamed Andrew’s name as loud as he could. He jumped from the ATV and searched the field. High grasses and bushes compromised his vision. He strode toward Dreamer and saw something dark against the green of the grass. Nut-brown hair.

He ran to Andrew, finding him unconscious. He didn’t move him in case his neck or back had been injured. There was blood near his head and on a nearby rock. Andrew’s head had landed on the rock.

“Andrew?” He called loudly, but Andrew didn’t move. Camp, hands shaking, checked his pulse. It was steady. His chest was rising and falling. “Andrew?”

His father’s truck was driving across the field. It stopped and his father and Jenny ran toward him. When Jenny saw her brother she went down on her knees and screamed his name. His dad was already talking to emergency services.

Camp eyed Jenny, who was sitting in the grass, stroking her brother’s hand and whispering, “I caused this.”

A shiver raced through Camp. Like Andrew, she didn’t move when he dropped next to her. She just whispered again, “I caused this.”