Smolder: A Devil Chaser's MC Romance (16 page)

When I finally got her inside and in her bedroom, I gently placed her on the edge of the bed. “Have you got a t-shirt or something to put on?”

“Anything is fine,” she whispered, watching me closely. The moment felt heavy. My heart was drumming in my ears.

I opened the drawer and pulled out the first t-shirt I found. I was a little surprised to see that it was one of mine. I gave her a curious look.

“I stole it. I wanted to wear something of yours when I slept. It made me feel closer to you,” she explained as her cheeks began to blush.

She removed her torn sweater, and I slipped the t-shirt over her bare breasts. I beat down my immediate arousal at the sight. I was determined to take care of her. I helped her carefully slip off her pants before I kissed her on the lips and pulled the covers over her.

I took off my boots and laid on the bed beside her. I kept my clothes on and rested on top of the covers. I knew that if I didn’t do at least that much, I’d be all over her, and she needed to rest. Once I got settled, I pulled her against me, but she resisted.

“No, I want you close. Please, Ren? Get under here with me. Hold me tonight,” she pleaded.

She had no idea how hard it was going to be for me, but I couldn’t tell her no. I pulled my shirt off, then my jeans, thanking God silently that I’d decided to wear my boxers that day. It wasn’t much, but hopefully it was enough to keep me from totally losing my damn mind.

“Anything you want, Tay,” I told her as I got under the covers and pulled her body close to mine. For the first time in my life, I felt like I was home.

She turned into me and laid her cheek against my chest. I felt her hands trailing over my abdomen. God, if she kept that up, I was going to go insane. I felt my cock swell and tried to mentally recite the alphabet backwards to distract myself. The last thing she needed tonight was to put up with a horny man craving her touch.

“I’ve missed you, Ren. I’m really glad you’re here.”

“I’ve missed you, too,” I replied, kissing her temple. “Get some rest. You’ve had a long night. I’m not going anywhere.” I was going to do everything I could to start making things better for her. I could feel her body relax next to mine, and her breathing became slow and deep. I was finally able to fall asleep, and thankfully, the nightmare never came.

I awoke to Taylor’s body sprawled over mine. Her arm was across my chest, and her leg was wrapped around mine. I loved having her close. I wanted to spend every night with her in my arms just like that. I lightly brushed my nose against her cheek, kissing her neck. She was so warm and soft. My cock was straining against my shorts. I didn’t think there was any hope for reining him in this morning. She slowly came awake, raising her head and looking down at me with a smile on her face. I could see the love shining in her eyes. I knew that no matter how long I lived, I would never get tired of her looking at me like that.

“I like having you in my bed, Noah Hudson. Did you sleep okay?” she asked.

“I slept like a rock. How about you?” I answer, pulling her gently. I don’t want to disturb her stitches. I position her so that she’s laying on top of me and slowly drag my hands over her back and graze the top of her ass. I knew that she could feel that I was hard for her, but right there in the moment, it was more about just being close to her.

“Are you hungry? I could go make us some breakfast and start some coffee,” I asked, loving how she looked, lying on top of me with her hair curtaining us in our own private world. God, she’s perfect.

“I want you,” she whispered and moved her body gently over mine, letting me know for sure what she meant.

It was hard. Seriously, I mean it was
really fucking hard
, but I put my hands on her hips and stop her. “None of that, Tay.”

“But….”

“Not until your stitches are a little more settled, Taylor.”

“Fine,” she said breathing heavily and her lip stuck out in a pout. She was so damn cute.

“If you’re going to be that way, coffee sounds wonderful. You don’t have to go to any trouble though. I can eat a bowl of cereal or something.”

“Let me see what I can round up in there. I’ll be right back. You need anything? Should I get your pain relievers?” I asked.

“Actually, I’m feeling pretty good. I don’t think I need them. I may get a Tylenol or something later. I’m going to try to take a shower.”

“Okay. Let me know if ya need me.”

I looked through all of her cabinets and the refrigerator, and I didn’t find much I could use to make a decent breakfast. There was a loaf of bread and eggs, so I decided to make some French toast. Hopefully, I could hunt down some syrup, but it didn’t look promising. She must eat out a lot, because there just wasn’t much there.

I never found the maple syrup, so I decided to go next door and borrow some from her neighbor. I tapped on her door, and she answered with a bright smile.

“Well, isn’t this a nice surprise!” she said.

“How ya making it this morning?” I asked.

“Just fine, dear. It’s good to see you’re still here. How are things going with you and Taylor?”

“I’d say things are going pretty good. I’m making her breakfast, and I wanted to see if I could borrow some maple syrup.”

“I knew you were a good one. There’s nothing like a man who cooks. Yes, I have some you can borrow. Let me get it for you,” she said as she turned and headed for the kitchen. “You making pancakes?” she called back.

“French toast. She doesn’t have many groceries, so I had to make do.”

She returned with the bottle of syrup and said, “I don’t know what to do about that girl. Here ya go. I hope you both have a nice breakfast.”

“Thanks. I’ll see ya soon.”

When I made it back over to Taylor’s apartment, she was leaning over the counter looking to see what I had cooked. With a cup of coffee already in her hand, she looked up at me and smiled.

“I’m impressed. This looks really good!” Taylor said with surprise.

“It’s just French toast, babe. It doesn’t take an Iron Chef to make toast dipped in eggs.” I gave her a wink and started making her a plate. I handed her the syrup and gave her a kiss on the cheek. We ate breakfast in the living room while we pretended to watch the news. We kept sneaking glances at one another, and it reminded me of how kids act when they’re around their crush. I had to smile to myself when she kept staring at me when she didn’t think I was looking.

Taylor finally turned to me and said, “I think it’s time for us to talk.”

“You’re right. We’ve left a lot of things unsaid, and it’s time we got things sorted.”

“I’m not sure why I’ve waited so long to talk to you about this, but I think it’s time to get it all out.” She took a deep breath and continued, “I’m not sure exactly how you feel about me. I’ve always thought there was something there between us, some connection, but you’ve always pushed me away. I don’t know what is holding you back. If it’s me, then you have to tell me. My heart can’t take much more. I love you, Noah. I’ve loved you since the very first day I met you outside of my parents’ house,” Taylor said as a tear slipped from the corner of her eye.

I slid my thumb across her cheek, wiping away her tears and said, “You may not feel that way after today. It rips my heart out to think you might change your mind, but there are things you need to know.”

“I already know that you slept with Jessica the same night you were with me. As much as I care about you, I’m not willing to share you with anyone. So if I’m not what you need, just tell me now.”

“What the hell are you talking about? I haven’t been with Jessica since the night you came home with me. I have no interest in her whatsoever. Why would you think I would ever go to her after the night we shared?”

“She told me that you came to her before you left on the run for Bishop. She said I would never be enough for you. Considering our past, I believed her. I just figured she was right. Maybe I wasn’t enough for you.”

“Don’t ever say that. This has never been about you. You’re perfect just the way you are. You’ll always be enough for me.” I couldn’t believe she was having these kinds of doubts. She was everything a man could want. How could she feel this way?

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have believed her.”

“Jessica’s got a few screws loose, and her lies are going to get her kicked out of our club. I can’t believe she tried to pull this shit with you. I’m sorry she made you feel like that. That’s on me for leaving the way I did, I know. Tay, baby, you have to know, I will never want to be with someone else. You’re it for me, you always have been.”

“Then you have to tell me. Why do you always push me away?” Taylor asked.

“I thought I was protecting you. Things happened in my past that I’m not very proud of. I never thought I deserved someone like you. You
deserve more
, but I just can’t stay away any longer.”

“There’s nothing about you that could change how I feel, Noah. I wish you knew that. I know what kind of man you are, and your past is just that. Your past.”

“I killed my father, Taylor.”

“What?” she asked with surprise.

“I was 16 years old the day I came home and found my dad beating my mother. He’d been physical with her before, but nothing like this. He was really trying to kill her.”

“Oh God, Noah,” Taylor said as she moved closer to me on the sofa. She rested her hand on my knee and waited for me to finish.

“I walked into the kitchen, and she was lying in a puddle of her own blood. He hit her head so hard that she lost consciousness, and he just kept hitting her and kicking her. I tried to push him off of her, and then he started fighting me. We struggled for a few minutes, and he fell back. He hit his head on the table on his way down, and he never got up. I killed him.”

“Noah, you didn’t kill him. His actions put you in that situation. It was self-defense. If you hadn’t pushed him away, he would have killed you both. Yes, he died, but you were protecting your mother. That’s who you are, Noah. You protect those you love who can’t help themselves. You did it for your mom, and you did it for me. There’s no reason for you to feel guilty about that.”

“I killed my own father. Of course I feel guilty. It’s exactly the way I should feel. I should’ve made her leave him. I should’ve pushed her to do something about it… to get some help. I should’ve been there when the fight first started so I could’ve stopped it before things got too bad. I should’ve called someone to help. I’ll never forgive myself.”

“Well, I’m glad I found this out about you now.”

I looked at her in confusion, and I felt her hand bite into my leg, to get my attention.

“I’m glad that you are somehow responsible for every single adult’s fuck ups and failures. I’ve been wondering for years who was responsible for that time I died my hair bright red.” Her voice was dripping with sarcasm and anger, but I knew that it wasn’t directed at me. She was angry
for
me.

“Noah, you were just a kid. They were the adults. Your mom could have made different decisions, the neighbors could have made other decisions, the hospital emergency room, the police... all of them were adults. You were
not
. You can’t keep blaming yourself like this.”

      
I didn’t expect her to react that way. Why didn’t she see me as the monster I truly was? I just didn’t get it.

“What happened to your mother, Noah?” Taylor asked as she took my hand in hers. She didn’t look at me with hate or disgust, only love and concern.

“She died a few days after they fought. She went into a coma and never woke up.” My heart sank with the memory. I didn’t know if I would ever get over losing my mother, but talking to Taylor truly helped ease some of the pain I’d carried with me for the past 15 years.

Chapter 27

Taylor

His tortured brown eyes stared straight through me. I just wanted to take all of his hurt away. He ran his hands through his hair and down the back of his neck as he continued to wait for my response.

“I’m sorry that you had to go through all of that, Noah, but it helped make you the man that you are today. I know you have your regrets, but I love the man you became, regardless of the past or maybe because of it,” I explained.

He sat quietly, searching for the words he wanted to say. “I have more regrets than you will ever know. My biggest regret is waiting so long to tell you how I feel about you. I was lost the first moment I met you, Taylor,” he said, looking at me with the love I’d always wanted from him.

I brought my hands to the sides of his face and pulled him closer to me. I pressed my lips against his and ran my fingers across the short stubble along his jaw. With a deep growl, he pulled me into his lap, never taking his lips from mine. His hands possessively sank into the back of my hair as he deepened the kiss. When I pressed my chest against his, I could feel the pounding of his heart. I clung to his broad shoulders as I melted into his arms. I wanted him more than I had ever wanted anything in my life. Finally, he’d opened up to me and shared the part of himself that he kept hidden from the rest of the world. I knew I would never be the same.