Smoke and Shadows (10 page)

“I saw nothing but red haze as I dragged that man off her. Still, I was no match for my father and both of them fucked me up real good, cracked several ribs and messed up my face. I couldn’t move for a week, so I stayed home. Carl got worried, so the fool came to check on me. I told him he was crazy to come to the projects where every criminal, pimp, and low-life littered the streets.”

His voice grew ragged. “Nadia followed Carl. When I saw her enter our apartment, I lost it. A twelve-year-old girl, all sweetness and light, couldn’t be tainted with the vileness and filth of my existence—I couldn’t bear it. Even when my body was screaming in pain, I walked them out, forcing them to leave. Unfortunately, several members of the gang who ruled our project were outside the building. They immediately picked on poor Nadia, frightening her so badly she started to cry. I was beyond pissed, and so was Carl. We ended up in a brawl.”

“How, I thought you could hardly move?” Marissa interjected, horror in her eyes.

“I was pumped full of rage,” Viktor said wryly. But it hurt like a motherfucker afterward. He paused for a long time because what happened next had haunted him for years. He turned Marissa in his arms. He needed to hang on to her beautiful green eyes so he wouldn’t get sucked back into the darkness of that day.

“I managed to free Nadia from one of the gang members and shoved her away. I told her to run. She had her bike. But she didn’t want to leave. What the fuck did she think she could do? So I yelled at her to get the fuck out of there because she’d caused enough trouble.”
 

His chest was caving in as long dormant emotions of regret and loss threatened to consume him. “She got on her bike to get away, but she was crying, watching us getting our asses kicked. Nadia . . . Nadia got hit by a car. She died instantly.”

“Viktor . . .” His woman’s eyes were shining with tears. His own remained dry.

“The mangled bike, her broken body. Those images remain with me. I don’t have much regret in this life, Marissa,” Viktor said. “But my last words to her are one of my biggest regrets. That my words sent her to her death.”

“You honestly believe that?” Marissa’s eyes flashed angrily at him. “You were protecting her. It wasn’t your fault, Viktor.”

“I’ve accepted that it is, Marissa,” he said. “I was angry for a long time. Carl never blamed me, and neither did his parents. I couldn’t understand them. I should be reviled. I felt like I had so much to atone for. I was so fucked up for the next three years, drinking and getting into fights. It was Carl’s parents who finally got through to me. So I joined the Army, thinking in serving God and country it would ease my guilt. It helped, but not enough.” Viktor shook his head. “Everyone thought I was this fearless warrior. Little did they know that I just wanted some fucker to shoot me and end my misery. Instead, it shaped me into this killing machine. For three years, I hated myself. Then another eight with the Army, seeing my humanity stripped away, little-by-little, until suddenly, I found my peace.”

“You forgave yourself? What happened?”

“Maia was my absolution,” Viktor said quietly. “Saving her somehow freed me from my guilt about Nadia. Carl knew when I turned up with a twelve-year-old kid, I’d finally found peace. And I gave him a daughter to replace the sister I took away.”

“Viktor, it wasn’t your fault,” Marissa repeated as she hugged him and buried her face on his chest.

Shit
. He was beginning to feel a burn behind his eyes.
Hell no
.

“Kitten—”

Marissa gave a short laugh. “How many nicknames do you have for me?”

“I thought they were called endearments,” Viktor replied dryly. “Look, I think that’s enough for tonight,” he glanced at the kitchen clock, “or morning. I haven’t dreamt of Nadia in a while, but Maia nearly dying must have triggered my old guilt.”

Damn. He needed to regroup. He felt raw, like he’d been raked over hot coals, and he wanted nothing more than to feel her naked body beside him.

“Kitten, are you staying?” he murmured above her head.

“Yes, Viktor, I’m staying.”

“Good. Then I suggest you strip.” Viktor set her from him and immediately yanked her sweater over her head. “Better yet, let me help you.”

CHAPTER SIX

“Ms. Cole’s assailant is a Syrian national,” Tim told the group after identifying the man. “He came into the country a few weeks ago. I believe he came in with this other guy, Yusuf Ali. Ali is a United States citizen who left for Syria six months ago.”

Viktor had dragged her to an early 8:00 a.m. meeting at AGS. Marissa wasn’t surprised that he had shut the trapdoor once again on his emotions. Acting like he had not just bared his deepest, darkest secret to her the night before, Viktor shoved a to-go cup of coffee in her hand and ushered her out of his building forty-five minutes after he had woken her up. He’d been succinct in speech and economical in actions. In short, he was very Viktor. Although, he had held her hand while they traversed the light Sunday morning traffic from New Park to Washington DC. Once they had arrived at AGS HQ, he was business as usual. He walked beside her, but held himself at an impersonal distance as though they had not just spent a whole night intimately together. And Marissa found herself relieved with this reprieve from his attentions; professionalism was still in his dictionary.

“Do we know their affiliations?” Marissa asked.

Tim clucked and nodded for Holly to change the screen. “They belong to a Syrian communist party. It’s a minor player compared to Nasir’s political party and the ruling Ba’ath.”

“Or they may be trying to appear minor,” Viktor said thoughtfully. “The Syrian communist party has its roots in the Reformists Communist Party of Russia . . . and damn it!” Understanding dawned quickly on Viktor’s face and he wasn’t happy.

“And RCPR is linked to the NKUF,” Marissa glanced at Holly who was frowning. “It’s the National Korean Unification Front. We have to bring in your friend, Viktor.”

“No.”

“Are you waiting for someone else to die?” Marissa challenged.
 

Viktor glanced at her sharply. “Don’t start, Ms. Cole.”

“I wasn’t. I don’t need to.”

She and Viktor had a silent conversation that was, quite frankly, fairly accurate.

If they had gotten to me, would you have gone to Matsuda?

They didn’t get to you, so that’s not even a question.

But they could have.

“Fucking drop it!” Viktor growled, causing Tim and Holly to jump.

Marissa quirked a brow and shrugged. “Just wondering.”

“Er . . . do you guys want me to continue, or do both of you need a moment?” Tim asked.

“Stop being a smart ass,” Viktor said. “What else do you have, Burns?”
 

“I’ve sent Guardians to Ali’s apartment.”

“Anything on the money trail? Phone records?”

“Nothing. They’re using cash and disposable cell phones.”

“Probably burn phones, too,” Marissa muttered. “These are grunts. We already suspect Rafiq could be behind this, but does the buck end with him?”

“Rafiq’s father wasn’t affiliated with the communist party. Mustafa Shadid was with an Islamist separatist group. Whole thing doesn’t add up,” Tim said.

“We need to concentrate on Rafiq Shadid,” Viktor said.
 

Marissa watched the subtle changes on Viktor’s face and knew that look. He was deep in thought and he had already pieced together the puzzle, but he wasn’t sharing. It irked her that he would withhold information from her when agents were dying.
 

“If you know something, Baran, you better start talking,” Marissa addressed him icily.

His eyes flickered over her briefly. “I’m not at liberty to divulge classified information.”

“Well, de-classify it! I’m the fucking CIA, Baran. My clearance outranks yours.”

“Are you sure, Ms. Cole? Maybe you should ask Yeager?”

“Oh, I certainly will,” Marissa retorted, pushing back and standing up.

“Our briefing isn’t over.” Viktor’s eyes sparked at her angrily.

“I’m wasting my time here. I’m heading back to Langley,” Marissa informed him.

“You have no transportation, and I’m not leaving to play chauffeur because I’m sure not pandering to your CIA ass.”

He did not just say that
. Marissa fumed, feeling the heat rise to her cheeks. Tim and Holly shuffled nervously, not knowing where to fix their gazes.

With as much dignity as she could muster, she leveled her frosty eyes against Viktor’s heated ones. “I’m sure you can spare a Guardian to take me to DC so I can retrieve my car.”
 

“Burns, Nolan, leave us,” Viktor said. “I’ll catch up with you two later. We’ve got a busy day ahead.”

When the two analysts left, Viktor stood up and faced her squarely.

“What the fuck was that all about?” he demanded.

“You’re withholding information.”

“I can’t tell you. Not yet.”

“Why not?”

Viktor sighed. “I have no concrete proof. The whole scenario makes my head hurt as it is.”

“Try me.”

“I said no, Iz.”

“Will you let me help you today?”

“No.”

“Fine, I’m going to Langley.”

“You’re working too hard,” Viktor said softly, raising his fingers to brush her cheeks. “It’s Sunday, why don’t you go back to my house, unpack, and get settled in. Relax.”

“You know you’re sounding like a hypocrite, right?”

His blue eyes hardened. “Don’t fight me on this, kitten.”

“Oh, and just because you have a dick, you can work harder than I can?”

“Goddamn it, Marissa—”

“What does the AGS database have that the CIA doesn’t?”

“I will tell you when I’ve got something. Goddamn it! I’m just keeping you from wasting time. Save your energy for the fights you can win.”

Marissa’s eyes narrowed. “Either you know I’m onto something that you’d rather I wasn’t, or you know I’m totally off course. Which is it?’

Viktor’s mouth formed a thin line.

“I’m going back to CIA HQS,” Marissa repeated her earlier statement, seeing how unbending Viktor was and how she was going nowhere fast.

“Suit yourself,” he replied coolly. “I’ll have Agent Olsen take you to your car.”

Without another word, Viktor turned and stalked out the room.
 

*****

Ten a.m. on a Sunday, and her Dupont Circle neighborhood was slowly coming to life. Corner coffee shops slowly filling up with parents with their kids in tow, people walking their dogs, runners dressed up against the cold logging mileage—these were the reasons she took the job to protect the homeland, to protect the freedom of its citizens.
Political stability in other countries was important for the stability at home. Yes, she’d been indirectly involved in regime changes. Personally, she’d had enough of these freaking dictators who had no regard for human life and no qualms of using chemical weapons on their own people.

“Which one’s yours?” Olsen’s voice broke through her ruminations. Marissa pointed to her BMW, two cars up.
 

“Sorry, I was a bit distracted.” She smiled at the raven-haired woman beside her. Agent Rebecca Olsen hadn’t quite passed her probie status as a Guardian, but Marissa knew Viktor was recommending her for full agent stripes, having proven herself in Paris.
 

“Thanks for the lift.” Marissa exited the Ford Explorer, dug for her keys in her purse, and waved Olsen off.

So much for listening to her own advice of turning it off for the weekend, she thought as she got into her car. She had made a brief call to Allison explaining what had happened. Then she called Yeager who was meeting her at Langley. Marissa laid into him about Viktor and told her boss she wanted answers—mainly what Viktor knew that she didn’t.

Turning the key in the ignition, her car sputtered as if the battery was dead. A shroud of dread cloaked her entire body as she scrambled out of the car. She was halfway across the street when a sedan blared its horn. A thunderous roar and a searing wave of heat blew her right over the hood of the oncoming vehicle. Next thing she knew, her hands scraped across concrete, sending shards of pain up her arms. Her shoulders buckled and a riptide of darkness threatened to pull her under.

There was screaming and shouting. Marissa had not lost consciousness, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t freaking disoriented with the incessant ringing in her ears.

What just happened?

People were staring down at her asking her stupid questions.

Are you okay?

Should we take you to a hospital?

Why did your car blow up?

She wasn’t sure if she answered them aloud or in order: No, she wasn’t fine. Her car just exploded. And no hospital, damn it, because someone wanted her dead.

She gripped the tire of a parked car and struggled to get up. Hands rushed to assist her, but she batted them away.

“I’m fine,” Marissa said tersely.

She’s in shock.
One person tried to explain her ungrateful behavior.
 

“Ms. Cole!” Olsen’s familiar voice broke through the crazy chatter around her. She saw the
 
Guardian push through the gathering crowd. At this point, Marissa was on her feet, but she was hunched over because her entire back was in pain. Relief washed over Olsen’s face when she saw Marissa. The Guardian was on the phone. Marissa was pretty sure who was on the other end.

“She seems to be okay,” Olsen wheezed into the phone. “Uh . . . yes, Sir, hold on.” She held out the phone to Marissa. “Mr. Baran wants to talk to you.”

“Viktor.” Marissa tried to keep her voice steady.
 

“Are you okay?” His voice was calm, but the undercurrent of tension was enough to lodge a piece of shrapnel in her throat. She wanted to break down and cry, and have Viktor deal with this mess. So she kept quiet.

“Iz? Answer me, damn it.”

“I’m fine.” She seemed to be repeating herself a lot these days. Marissa limped around the car that probably took the brunt of the explosion, and stared at the fiery remains of her BMW. Sirens echoed in the distance.